I thought the good folk at Swan Hellenic must be mixing me up with someone else when I received their invitation to attend yesterday's Oldies awards at Simpson's-in-the-Strand in London. Oldie? Moi?
As it turned out, it was a really fun event. Nothing to do with cruising really, apart from the fact it was in association with Swan, the Swan team was out in force - oh and the room was full of Swan's target market: Oldies.
Not your ordinary Oldies though. There was Ian Hislop chatting at the door, Kate Adie on the stairs (and not even a crisis in sight) and Barry Cryer dropping a few really Oldies jokes. Terry Wogan, who presented the awards, was unashamed about it. "We're all being told we have to recycle so I'm going to recycle some of last year's jokes to help the environment."
I admit I accepted the invitation with trepidation. Another awards ceremony a week after the Travel Weekly Globes? Another 40-odd gongs to hand out?
Actually no. It's all done slightly tongue in cheek - in previous years they have had shelf-stacker of the year, wannabe oldie of the year (that went to Boris Johnson in 2002) and former First Sea Lord Admiral Sir Alan West was named Swan Hellenic Sea Dog of the Year in 2006 - and happily there were only six to get through.
Joanna Lumley picked up Oldie of the Year, Chris Mullen MP, whose main claim to fame appears to be that he still watches a black-and-white TV, picked up Backbencher of the Year, and Sir Terry was named Swan Hellenic Retiree of the Year and received a free cruise.
Actually that last one was such a surprise that the normally loquacious Irishman was reduced to near silence. That must be a first!
Jane Archer
