Cruise Lines

Globetrotting Tahitian Princess is to be renamed Ocean Princess when it goes for routine maintenance in Singapore in November 2009, Princess Cruises has announced.

It is a bit odd to have a Tahitian Princess sailing around the Med, Alaska and Asia, I agree, but it's such a wonderfully exotic name - conjuring up images of white-sand beaches and gently lapping blue seas, and so perfect for this small ship (it holds just 670 passengers).

In comparison Ocean sounds so big and just a little forbidding. Not at all what passengers can expect.

Am I glad I’m not clearing up after yesterday evening’s ceremony in which MSC Cruises took official delivery of new ship MSC Poesia from the ship yard in St Nazaire, France.

As the bottle of bubbly smashed, pink and white balloons were loosed from their netting and cannons shot pink and white paper circles into the air. Not just a few, but hundreds, coating the ground and all who sat there.

Environmentalists would no doubt moan about it, but hey. This was a great ceremony – it actually started and ended on time, which must be a first for MSC – with a marching band to keep our spirits up in the cold wind, the customary switching of flags and lots of speeches in French and Italian (I gathered that the shipyard is honoured to have MSC’s business, which is good because it has another three MSC ships on its order book, and MSC’s boss rather likes his new toy).

Let’s just hope this new-found punctuality lasts until Sunday morning.

I love cruiseship naming ceremonies so this month is like manna from heaven for me, but I’ll have my eye on one new ship in particular.

Ventura, P&O Cruises’ new offering, promises to be nothing like the P&O we have come to know and love. Old and stuffy? Forget it. If all the hype is to be believed, this is young and funky; dare I say even glitzy in places (or so it would seem from the website) and all about having fun.

The traditionalist we-love-P&O brigade I cruised with on Aurora recently, who disliked foreign food and wanted everything to be like it was 20 years ago, would be horrified.

Personally I can’t wait to see if the ship lives up to the promise of lively evenings, good food (hopefully not just in Marco Pierre White's restaurant), contemporary tableware and designer kettles in the cabins - yes, really – and great activities for kids, including a circus school (never mind kids, I rather fancy that!) and giant Scalextric track.

And I am so looking forward to seeing Noddy fly by in his little yellow-and-red plane. What do you mean there is no such person as Father Christmas?

What a coup for Cunard.

The Queen is journeying down to Southampton on June 2 to bid farewell to the QE2, the ship she named at Clydebank on September 20 1967.

Since then the vessel, which has to be the best known ship in the world, has sailed into the record books by travelling more than 5.6 million nautical miles. It has carried 2.5 million guests, completed 25 world cruises and crossed the Atlantic 802 times.

QE2 leaves Cunard and the UK forever in November, when it sets sail from Southampton for Dubai to take up its new duty as a luxury floating hotel.

If I had a stall selling handkerchiefs, I know where I would be that day...

With free-flowing booze, Italian diva Sophia Loren to cut the ribbon and the likes of Andrea Bocelli and KT Tunstall to keep the troops entertained, it was always a dead cert that the naming of MSC Poesia in Dover would be a successful event.

But will it achieve the ultimate aim of increasing business from the UK for MSC Cruises? And at what cost?

An oft-repeated conversation between fellow scribes at these events revolves around the question, can the cruiseline ever get back what it has spent? How many passengers do agents need to book and over what time frame to make this - literally - worthwhile?

If anyone has some answers, I would love to know. Not only would I sound intelligent, but I could move the conversation on next time around.

Until I am enlightened, I will continue to wonder at the massive sales job UK agents now have on their hands if they are ever to repay MSC for a great evening. The few I spoke to were certainly excited and enthusiastic about the whole experience.

For MSC's sake, I hope that enthusiasm infected the many and can be translated into sales.

Aren't people ungrateful? The guys at Fred Olsen went to all the trouble to put an art gallery on the newly-stretched Balmoral - actually it's a corridor that has pictures on each wall, but no matter. It's a lovely space and there are some really eyecatching paintings as opposed to the ghastly stuff the cruiselines dress up as art and try to flog at auction at hugely-inflated prices.

 In my column in the Telegraph this week I wrote:

Since emerging from the shipyard as Balmoral, the vessel also has a smart new top-deck swimming pool where there was none before, and an art gallery with some striking paintings. As it doubles up as the corridor to the main restaurant, I suspect many passengers won't notice the pictures as they race for their food.

But the reality was even worse. Just after writing that, a couple was walking towards me. He turned to her and said: "This is a complete waste of space, isn't it?"

According to a new survey, we Brits are totally ignorant of the continent just across the water. You know, the one they call Europe. Seems we are also a sad bunch of philistines.

At last, only four months after I was due to get a first glimpse of Balmoral, Fred Olsen Cruise Lines' new ship, I am on board.

Formerly Norwegian Crown, the vessel was acquired from Norwegian Cruise Line last year and has been stretched - literally it was cut in half and a new bit inserted - so it takes around 400 more passengers.

It was due to set out on its maiden voyage under Fred Olsen colours in January but the work overran and the first cruise was delayed until February.

Is it Fred still? Actually yes. Despite being bigger, it does have that oh so British Fred feel that ageing Olsen groupies know and love. Not quite so intimate though, and there are more lost souls aged over 60 wandering around, still not sure where everything is.

More interesting still... yes, you can see the join.

Passengers on Azamara Cruises, the better-than-Celebrity brand from the Royal Caribbean stable, had a real treat as their ship popped into London this week on the way from Barcelona to Copenhagen - namely what passes for a port in one of Europe's leading capital cities.

Port? Actually, it's a pontoon just down river from Tower Bridge that has been covered with portacabins that you weave through in order to get to the ship - and that's after enduring a tortuous tender transfer from the other side of the bridge.

No matter. There was a fabulous view of Tower Bridge from the aft end of the ship and it must have been fun squeezing through the Thames Barrier - for passengers at least. Captain Carl admitted he pulled his stomach in as he manoevered through with just 15 metres to spare on either side.

Thames boatmen notwithstanding, I finally managed to get on board with some of the top people from Royal Caribbean for what was a first glimpse of an Azamara ship for all.

Except it was a bit like deja-vu for anyone who has been on Princess Cruises' Royal Princess (Swan Hellenic's Minerva II as was) or any of the Oceania Cruises' ships.

Obviously Azamara Journey been tweaked here and there - actually there have been $19 million of tweaks to add 32 bigger suites, a cafe, bar and change the carpets. Sadly the money didn't stretch to real teak on the pool deck so there's a plastic faux alternative but the wooden sun loungers with comfy mattresses helps to make up for that.

They have also put in new alternative restaurants, which come with no charge (that's one of the better-than-Celebrity bits) and look lovely. But so does the eat-when-you-like main dining room. Again, so much more advanced than its X-rated big sister with its fixed dining.

And at the moment, as the brand is not yet well known, it doesn't cost any more, and sometimes even less. That's got to be well worth a second look.

The International Herald Tribune reports that Royal Caribbean International president and chief executive Adam Goldstein was in Singapore to announce plans to base a ship in Singapore starting autumn 2009.

The line dipped a toe into Asian waters this year, so I guess this decision is proof that the experiment was successful. Either that or they just can't think what to do with all the cruise ships they keep building.

Let's face it, the Caribbean might be popular, but when the giant Oasis of the Seas hits the region in December 2009, it's going to soak up an awful lot of passengers - 5,400 on each cruise if all goes according to plan - so Royal's other ships have to fill somewhere else.

And why not Asia? Star Cruises is there year-round, Costa Cruises bases a ship there for part of the year and Princess Cruises has a big selection of exotic cruises there in winter, but generally it's somewhere the big lines only dip in and out of on their way around the world.

On Carnival Splendor last weekend, I heard Carnival Cruise Lines president and chief executive Gerry Cahill rule Asia out as an option, so seems Royal might have it all it's own way - for a while at least. Smart move.

As my regular blog readers will have seen, I was at Tilbury last week to see Marco Polo, now sailing under charter to Transocean Tours and sub-charter to Cruise and Maritime Services through the summer. Click on the video, created courtesy of Travel Weekly, to see and hear more.

My heart went out to the Royal Navy's Christian Rumming, the man chosen to shin 60 feet up the side of Carnival Splendor during Thursday's naming ceremony in Dover. In a pair of flippers.

And all because the lady loved, well, English sparkling wine.

In honour of the fact the ship was being named in the UK, Carnival shunned smashing the usual bottle of good-luck bubbly and chose instead a home-grown sparkling wine, cruise director John Heald explained during the ceremony.

Nothing to do with the the fact the thinner glass made it easier for Christian to smash when he finally got to the top of his rope, of course, although the event organisers didn't want a repeat of the naming of P&O Cruises' Ventura, when two Royal Marines went over the side of the ship (yes, it does sound very similar doesn't it?) to smash the bubbly and reports came back that one bottle didn't break.

The lady in question, by the way, was Splendor's godmother Myleene Klass, singer, classical pianist, model and I'm a Celebrity star (oh dear, and she was starting to sound really talented), who managed to do the naming honours while holding down her skimpy red dress, which was flapping nicely in the wind.

"That only worked for Marilyn," she quipped as she shouldered her responsibilities well and promised to send Splendor a birthday card every year.

Have one too many on the new Carnival Splendor and you'll start to see pink spots in front of your eyes. No wait. That's what you see if you are stone-cold sober.

Carnival's new baby is a real vision in pink - another creation from Joe Farcus, the man behind all the over-the-top designs on Carnival ships, and lately the Costa ones too.

I must admit I am a bit of a Farcus fan, if only because I am intrigued how he comes up with his ideas and because the attention to detail is quite incredible.

Pink spots notwithstanding, Splendor is a very muted Farcus. I'd say he was considering the sensibilities of the British market, but suspect we are really not that important to Carnival, even if the number of Brits booking has doubled in the past year, as president and CEO Gerry Cahill said during his naming speech.

In fact, apart from the spots, which I really rather like, and the garish lions above the thermal pool in the otherwise very lovely, and very large, Cloud 9 spa, I really haven't seen anything very worthy of note.

Surely that can't be right?

Interesting comments this week on cruise.co.uk about the benefits or otherwise of dine-when-you-want options on cruise ships.

Is it working well? Tsang didn't think so after her experiences on P&O Cruises' Ventura and I have to agree, after a week on board, that the staff are struggling with the concept.

So many people are booking that half the dining room is blocked out for the evening, which means if you do get a table the room is often half empty. But passengers are still turning up at the door and being turned away. "I guess we should book as well, but it kind-of loses the point of being Freedom," one man on a neighbouring table told me a couple of nights ago.

One of the problems is that the ship is packed with families who want Freedom dining, but two out of the three dining rooms are set aside for fixed dining. It wasn't always like that. When the ship launched, two out of three were set aside for Freedom dining, but the older - I'm guessing - passengers on the maiden voyages wanted fixed, so it was switched around.

And no one thought to change again when the passenger profile changed.

One evening my partner and I eventually ended up sharing a table for 10 with, um, two other people. We did look very lonely, especially with empty tables around us. They said one couple they met had asked for Freedom dining and been told they couldn't have it; another couple requested fixed and, yes, you've guessed it. They were told they couldn't have it.

The dual system works for Princess Cruises so guess it's just early days for Ventura. Im sure they'll get it right - but sooner would be better if they want to stem the moans I've heard.

I thought it had to be Balmoral, but no. This "giant" is Fred Olsen's new Braemar, fresh out of the shipyard where they cut it in half and added a 31-metre mid-section. It now takes more than 200 more passengers - 950 in all - has more cabins and an extra restaurant.

But it was still dwarfed by P&O Cruises' Ventura, on which I'm sailing, which was towering over all in Civitavecchia today.

Science was never my strong subject at school so imagine my glee when I was able to answer the question "what is ice?" posed by Steffen Biersack, the geologist and lecturer onboard this Fram cruise in Greenland.

No trick. The answer is frozen water - and I did get it right! - but I have to admit some of the rest of his lecture on ice went straight over my head. Still fascinating though.

And it's what this Hurtigruten expedition cruising is all about. No shows with didn't-quite-make-it dancers and singers, no napkin-folding or wine-tasting classes; just a nice ship - Fram holds 318 passengers and was launched last year - with big windows so you can always see the view, which at the moment happens to be icebergs. In fact it has been icebergs of varying sizes for the past two days.

There are all sorts on board, young and old, mainly Danish and Norwegian but also a smattering of Brits, Americans and Australians, all here for the excitement of seeing somewhere really different rather than wanting a luxury cruise with crew racing around to cater for their every wish and whim.

No one dresses for dinner and you are expected to clear away your plates and cups if you have tea and cakes in the little self-service.

I can't see cruise traditionalists enjoying this, but I I've never seen so many happy, excited faces, and certainly not on a cruise. Just proves what they always say. There is a cruise for everyone. Get it right and you have one satisfied customer.

Thanks to Sean Halliday for getting in touch about his website featuring true stories about his life on a cruise ship. Have a look. It'll cheer up the day.

My cruise column on the Telegraph website this week touches on how expensive it is on board Fram. I compared it with Ventura, where you could get a 33cl bottle for £1.95, while here 40cl draft beer is more than £3.50. Not the end of the world but worth bearing in mind.

But the one thing that is really cheap is the internet - six hours for £20. And it works - as anyone reading my blogs will have realised.

I paid a hefty £40 for four hours on Ventura, which was all the more galling when ashore in Rome, Florence, et al, you could have an hour for one euro (about 80p). If you wanted longer the price came down!

Here in Greenland I haven't seen an internet café and if there was one I dread to think how much it would cost. Yesterday, ashore at our first big town (with tarmac roads, a supermarket and a pub), a bottle of beer was £6.

I hastened back to Fram!

Either I've not been paying attention or this is new. Passengers who book one of the 99 suites in the VIP Yacht Club on MSC Cruises' new MSC Fantasia, launching December, have soft and alcoholic drinks included in the price.

Suddenly it becomes a lot more attractive!

Yacht Club people also have 24-hour butler service, a VIP swimming pool, hydro-massage pool, solarium, lounge and direct access to the spa.

The ship holds a massive 3,959 passengers and takes pride of place in MSC's new 2008/09 brochure. It will be sailing the Med - the maiden voyage is an eight-night Christmas cruise, then there's a New Year sailing and 12-night itineraries out of Genoa.

How much extra does it cost for the Yacht Club? Unfortunately my press release skips over the money bit and as I'm away and it's now 7am in the morning UK time, I can't find out.

If anyone can enlighten me, I'd love to know.

So this is it. The day Royal Caribbean, travel agents and hopefully the British public have all been waiting for. Oasis of the Seas, the largest cruise ship ever built goes on sale at 1pm UK time.

This ship is longer than four football pitches, higher than Nelson's Column - 220,000 tons and with room for 5,400 passengers.

Royal is moving staff from other areas into reservations to cope with an expected 50% more bookings than on its previous busiest sales day. Senior managers have been drafted in to deal with booking inquiries and Jo Rzymowska, associate vice-president and general manager, has promised to make the tea.

Some £1 million has been set aside to make sure this behemoth sells. It's going to be a long day.

Which I was.

The Penthouse on Crystal Serenity is lovely. There's a walk-in wardrobe, large bathroom with two sinks, jacuzzi bath and separate shower, equipped with a flat-screen TV, DVD and CD. And of course there is Mahir, my butler.

But interestingly the Penthouse I had on Princess Cruises' Crown Princess last week was bigger.

It had a long balcony with two balcony doors, two TVs, a DVD, a walk-in wardrobe and the bathroom was spilt into two. A toilet and sink in one room, a jacuzzi bath and shower in another.

We didn't have a butler, but we did have the lovely Elmar, who greeted us each day with a chirpy good morning and managed to keep the room tidy despite the best efforts of my 14-year-old daughter to do otherwise.

"Have you noticed they have the name of our suite [Aruba] instead of the number on the signs in the corridor?" she asked excitedly the first day we were on board. I had to admit I hadn't, but it did explain why I spend ages looking at the sign trying to work out which direction to walk to get to 412.

It wasn't there. And then I realised I was standing almost right in front of the room.

Sometimes you can feel really stupid.

Meet Mahir, my butler on Crystal Cruises' ship Crystal Serenity. He comes with the Penthouse I'm in on a short but sweet cruise in the Med - made all the sweeter by reports coming back from home of cold and rain as temperatures here hit 30 degrees.

As I explored the ship yesterday I also came across Raymond, who goes around the sun deck every hour with cold towels for those who need to cool off.

You don't have to pay, it's not an extra. Just part of the service. Now that's what I call luxury.

US-based Travel Trade reports that MSC Cruises is selling off the MSC Rhapsody, the oldest and smallest ship in the fleet.

No surprise really. In an interview for Travel Weekly earlier this year, MSC's chief executive officer Pierfrancesco Vago told me that the clock was ticking for the 780-passenger MSC Rhapsody and 1,064-passenger MSC Melody - another of MSC's smaller ships.

There are passengers who like Rhapsody and Melody because they are smaller and more intimate, but more and more people want balconies so they will go in the end - I would guess over the next couple of years.

Travel Trade reports that Israeli-based Mano Maritime is interested in buying the Rhapsody. Ironic really, given that MSC Cruises started life when Gianlucci Aponte, owner of cargo giant Mediterranean Shipping Company, acquired the Achille Lauro, the cruiseship hijacked by Palestinian terrorists in 1985, resulting in the death of an Jewish American passenger.

But irony or not, the fact is that with two new ships with room for close to 4,000 passengers close to launch, MSC has less and less room for small, elderly ships such as the Rhapsody. Much as Carnival Corporation had no room for Swan Hellenic and Norwegian Cruise Line had no room for Orient Lines, which are both starting new lives under new owners.

Celebrity chef Marco Pierre White has opened two more restaurants at sea. The Cafe Jardin on Oceana and Cafe Bordeaux on Aurora have both been given the Marco makeover and are now serving dishes that he has created.

As with The White Room on Ventura, which is also a Marco production, the supplement to eat at both restaurants varies depending on the length of the cruise - £4.99 per person for eight days or more, £6.50 for three to seven days and £7.75 for two-day mini-breaks.

You can't really complain about (although I bet some will) - and there's even a reduction for anyone who eats there between 6pm and 6.45pm. Bit early for me, but many do dine at that time. And how much better if you can eat early and save money!

First stop on the way to the shipyard to see Royal Caribbean International's Oasis of the Seas was a bike shop in Turku where, in one corner, we were able to tramp through a mock-up of a standard version of one of the 28 new loft suites that will be on the ship.

Was this to keep it away from the prying eyes of the competition, I wondered? Who would think of looking in a bike shop? But no. We were told it was actually only because the factory happened to have a bit of space available. Sometimes fiction is so much better.

These loft suites are spectacular, two decks high and with a floor-to-ceiling glass window which looks out over the balcony and out to sea.

Downstairs there is a bathroom, dining table that slides out of the way after use and a sitting area with a flat-screen TV and sofa bed. It then opens out to the balcony.

Upstairs is a mezzanine with another bathroom, this one with a shower with his and hers shower heads - RCCL chairman and chief executive officer Richard Fain was amazed I'd never seen such a thing and then revealed he has a his and hers shower at his home and that it is very handy when him and her are different heights because you don't have to keep moving the heads up and down - and a double bed with a flat-screen TV that opens out of the ceiling.

Royal Caribbean International's giant Oasis of the Seas has to be seen to be believed ... and I was lucky enough to see it on Friday, at STX Europe's shipyard in Turku, Finland, where it was about to be floated out.

The Caribbean it wasn't, with snow and ice on the ground and freezing temperatures, but we were kitted out with big coats, steel toe-cap shoes, gloves and hard hats for a walkabout in the dry dock and on board - the first groups to get a glimpse of what this levathon will be like.

After a lightening tour of some of the key places on the ship, we were taken dockside, a cannon was fired - so loudly the ground shook! - and the sluice gates were opened, allowing water to touch the hull for the first time.

The gates were opened at about 5pm and the dry dock was expected to be filled by midnight so the ship could be sailed out to a new berth where the interior will be fitted out. They have just under a year to transform it from looking like a mass of steel and scaffolding, as below, into a luxurious cruise ship.

This is the Royal Promenade - the very same feature you'll find on the Voyager and Freedom-class cruise ship, except this one will be more than twice as wide as the "street" on those vessels. When finished, there will be a pub, shops, cafes and the amazing Rising Tide Bar.

Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines chairman and chief executive officer Richard Fain, who was guiding my group, said they decided they needed a lift to get passengers from the Royal Promenade to Central Park above and those little box things most of us manage with to get up and down floors was just too boring. So they are putting in a bar. Of course.

The idea is that it acts as a lift, but I can see passengers grabbing a stool for the evening and staying put.

Unless of course they are tempted away by the antics in the Aquatheatre at the back of the ship.

There is a pool, 17.9 feet deep (this one pool will hold more water than all the pools on the Freedom-class ships) surrounded by amphitheatre-style seating and with a bridge 10 metres above from which performers will be diving into the water. Sort of Cirque de Oasis, I guess. Apparently one show will have a row of divers going off the bridge all at once, which would be quite spectacular

When the pool is not needed for swimming, the bottom can be raised so it also becomes a dance floor.

Is this the first casualty of the credit crunch?

Seatrade Insider reports that the "new" Orient Lines president and CEO Wayne Heller has cancelled the resurrected cruise line's first European season due to the current econimic climate.

"We are exploring possible options to relaunch our cruise program at a more favourable time in the near future."

The maiden voyage on Maxim Gorky, which has been renamed Marco Polo II, was supposed to be on April 15 from Barcelona.

Booked customers will receive a full and prompt refund.

Silversea has pulled the South Pacific cruises planned for exploration ship Prince Albert II in summer 2009 and instead will be bringing the ship back to the Arctic, cruising around Greenland and Spitsbergen.

Reading between the comments from Silversea president and chief executive officer Amerigo PerassoIt, the South Pacific cruises were not selling, mainly because of the cost of getting there, but also because people didn't connect with a ship built for polar waters sailing around sun-kissed islands.

Operating our vessel in close reach of our three leading markets (United States, United Kingdom and Continental Europe) is all the more justified in the present economic conjuncture. With its ice-strengthened hull, Prince Albert II is quite naturally associated with polar sea ice regions, rather than other attractive, exotic destinations.

Prince Albert II will sail nine Arctic cruises between June and August before heading back to the Antarctic for winter 2009/10.

MSC Cruises says it took 47% more calls in October than in the same month in 2007, while bookings for the month were up 84%.

Managing director Giulio Libutti attributed the bookings surge to the fact the call centre is open longer and also on Sundays for the first time.

Apparently a lot of bookings are coming in for MSC Lirica, which is sailing the Baltic from Dover next summer, and the giant MSC Fantasia, which is being named in Naples on December 18.

This is the ship with the much-anticipated VIP Yacht Club - a separate area of the ship where top-paying passengers will enjoy butler service in their cabins, have a private swimming pool and observation lounge with bar. 

Travelmole reports P&O Cruises is to make some changes to Ventura after admitting to facing "challenges" in the first summer season.

In a letter to travel agents, managing director Nigel Esdale says they will stop taking bookings for the Freedom dining restaurant so diners really do have freedom to turn up and dine when they want - hopefully getting a table straight away - the Beach House self-service will become an informal dining venue with waiter service and sunloungers will be placed on deck 19, in an area previously devoted only to the bungee trampolines and Cirque Ventura.

"We will retain the bungee trampolines which have been a real hit with passengers aged from 8 to 84. And we will continue to offer the Cirque Ventura circus skills school teaching the art of juggling, tightrope and stilt walking."

In addition, new furniture, including a reclining chair, will be put on cabin balconies, to help alleviate demand for loungers on the open deck.

I reported in my cruise column in the Telegraph on the problems of Freedom dining I encountered when I was on board and spoke to people who were fed up with the morning rush to grab a sunlounger so it's good news that all these things are now being addressed.

After several seasons in Antarctica, Voyages of Discovery is leaving the White Continent and cruising to South East Asia and the Far East in winter 2009/10.

I wrote a little on this for the next TW Cruise, due out soon, but since then the brochure has come out bearing more information and some magnificent itineraries that will take you around India, Vietnam, Thailand, the Philippines and South Africa.

VoD's ship Discovery takes its time as it cruises through all these places so there's lots of time ashore. Anyone with the time and money could put some of these itineraries back to back and have an ultimate round-the-world trip.

OK, you won't make it to Australia so it's not quite RTW, but at least you would see the world as you went instead of spending endless days at sea, as is the norm on a standard world cruise.

There is no single supplement on a number of cabins and guaranteed no fuel surcharge on all bookings. All the cruises will have guest lecturers on board to add some insights into the places being visited.

VoD says it has switched to Asia to give passengers who have done Antarctica something new for winter 09/10. Makes sense. I cruised Antarctica with Voyages and much as I loved it, it's not something I would do twice with the same cruise line as I'd like to see how others cope with the harsh environment down there.

On my cruise, most of the passengers agreed they had done Antarctica and would not go back. After all, it's not cheap and makes more sense for them to spend their money seeing new places and cultures.

QE2 might have left Southampton for the last time, but the old girl is not going to disappear from the headlines.

Dubai is planning to match last week's fond farewell at the south coast port with an equally big welcome when the ship arrives in the emirate on November 26.

QE2 will be met at The World islands by a flotilla of local yachts, boats and leisure craft led by a Royal Navy frigate, and there's an open invitation to anyone with a boat to register and be part of the welcome.

QE2 is to be transformed into a luxury floating hotel off the trunk of Palm Jumeirah by new Nakheel, which is also planning to open a heritage museum displaying artefacts from the ship and of local maritime history.

Great for anyone who happens to be in Dubai, but what about past passengers left without their favourite ship to cruise on? I offered some QE2 alternatives in a piece in the Telegraph. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.

Hot on the heels of Silversea's decision to bring Prince Albert II back to the Arctic for summer 2009, Hurtigruten has added capacity in Spitsbergen for June, July and August for 2009.

The additional cruises are on the 120-passenger Expedition, which is owned by Gap Adventures and has been chartered on a crew basis for four years by Spitsbergen Travel, which is a subsidiary of Hurtigruten.

Expedition will be sailing 13 nine-day Kingdom of the Polar Bear cruises for Hurtigruten from Longyearbyen, circumnavigating Spitsbergen, weather permitting.

Hurtigruten's head of commercial Kathryn Beadle said demand has outstripped capacity on the line's two other ships in Spitsbergen.

"Our main nine-day Spitsbergen voyage is already close to being sold out for 2009 and we still have more than six months' selling time."

Expedition, which has an ice-strengthened hull, was built in 1972 and is currently undergoing modernisation. When it enters service it will have a panorama lounge, expedition lounge, restaurant, library, bar, fitness room and sauna.

Cold is clearly the new hot for British cruisers. Just a month ago Titan HiTours announced it had signed an alliance with National Geographic which enables Brits to travel on the company's expedition ships, operated by Lindblad Expeditions, to Antarctica, the Arctic, Alaska, the Galapagos and other such exciting places.

Oasis of the Seas has such a lot of new things on board to thrill and excite passengers that the ship had to be the size it is just to hold them all, explains Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines chairman and chief executive officer Richard Fain.

Speaking at the float out of the ship, in a snow-covered shipyard in Turku, Finland, he said Oasis is one-third traditional Royal Caribbean, one-third evolutionary and one-third revolutionary.

The traditional is, for instance the Schooner Bar, which can be found on other Royal Caribbean ships. The evolution is the Royal Promenade, which is twice the width of the promenades on other ships, and will twist and turn instead of running in a straight line. The revolution is Central Park, a huge open area in the middle of the ship that will have real trees and shrubs, the loft suites, the Aquatheatre, zipwire and more.

"I know size is what everyone focuses on, but we didn't set out to build the world's biggest ship. Oasis is big because we decide what we want to put in and than wrap a ship around it. We don't just take rooms from other ships and make them bigger, but we add more, to give passengers the opportunity to do things they never would have thought of doing on a ship."

Fain revealed that he initially thought putting a rock-climbing wall on the Voyager-class ships was a really stupid idea, but went along with it because it was the least stupid idea he was presented with at the time. He now jokes that it was one of the best ideas he ever had ("that's one of the benefits of being chairman!").

Oasis of the Seas is now 65% ready. Its first sea trial is scheduled for June, with a second one in September.

It will weigh 225,000 tons (this is the shipyard's figure, which keen readers will notice is another 5,000 on the tonnage previously quoted), which makes it more than twice as heavy as an aircraft carrier, and carry 5,400 passengers.

Inside, there will be 5,000km of electric cable, 250km of pipes, 100,000 electric points, 90,000 square metres of carpet, 8,000 square metres of windows and there will be 2,300 metric tons of water in the pools. In all, it will be made up of about 500,000 individual parts.

Now Oasis of the Seas is out of the dry dock, the yard can start work on sister ship Allure of the Seas. The keel-laying is on December 2, with delivery slated for late autumn 2010.

I'll be on a Windstar cruise in the Caribbean next week, finding out how the cruiseline is performing since it was sold to Ambassador International in February 2007. I'll be posting information and pictures, so keep an eye on Cruise Lines to find out more.

Italian line Costa Cruises has been named "Best Cruise Company" at the annual Virgin Holidays awards. Runners up were Carnival and Ocean Village.

Naturally managing director Marco Rosa is pleased - in fact almost as thrilled as when I saw him last week, racing high-performance cars at a fantastic day out at Thurleigh Airfield near Bedford with some of his top-selling agents and fellow scribes.

He now has to come back down to earth and get ready for 2009, when Costa has two new ships launching - the Costa Luminosa and Costa Pacifica - so close to each other they are sharing a naming ceremony.

Hebridean International Cruises is going back to the Caribbean and Central America for winter 2009/10 - and this time it is taking people on the transatlantic.

The cruiseline's 98-passenger Hebridean Spirit made its debut in the region in winter 07/08 and that time went over the Pond empty, thinking that no one would want to be making that journey in a 4,200-ton ship. It seem they were wrong.

"The brochure's only been out a couple of weeks but we already have some bookings for the crossing," managing director Mike Deegan told me on the even smaller Hebridean Princess - just 2,112 tons and yes, the one the Queen chartered - when it was in Tilbury this week.

The night before I was there, it had been hosting Hebridean's top-selling agents for an awards evening and overnight. It is a lovely little ship, with quaint but beautifully-appointed cabins, but at that size I can understand why they run for cover at the first sign of bad weather.

News of those intrepid transatlanticers is interesting, but the real point here is that they have actually been able to book because the brochure is already out - part of a strategic move by Hebridean to stop lagging behind when it comes to getting its cruises out on agents' shelves.

There are some great cruises in there, more Caribbean than before, and taking Spirit though the Panama Canal and into ports in Cuba that most people will never have heard of.

The 2010 summer programme will be out in March, and one brochure will feature cruises on both ships, which is also a first for the cruiseline - usually there are two brochures for each ship each year.

I am told Princess will be doing its usual Scotland stuff, but dropping its Norway visits as Spirit is going north for the summer, covering off Norway and the Arctic areas.

One of the problems of being on a ship with so few passengers (I'm on Windstar Cruises' ship Wind Surf in the Caribbean with another 68 people instead of the full complement of 315) is that most of the shore excursions have been cancelled because they haven't reached the minimum numbers.

It has been very disappointing, so full marks to Leia, the shore excursions manager, for finding out that we would be in Grenada alongside Princess Cruises' Emerald Princess on Friday - and for getting in touch with the ship to see if they happened to do the river tubing trip I wanted to do.

They did - and so full marks to Princess also, for allowing me to infiltrate the group.

It was great fun - you sit in a big tube and float down river, through rapids, bouncing off boulders, going backwards, forwards, spinning; really just as the water and tube takes you because you don't have any control.

I felt rather like a human pinball. But a lot wetter. Especially after the guys from the company running the trip - Adventure River Tubing - got us all corralled at one of the ropes strung across the river where they collect everyone every so often, surrounded us and let loose a barrage of splashing.

Until then I had just been wet; after that I was drowned!

These guys - there were lots of them - did a fantastic job making sure we were all absolutely safe, and rescuing us when we got beached, which happened to several of us a few times. As I said, you have no control on these tubes.

Jude, the guy on the right here, said ours was the second group of the day; sometimes they have four.

All too soon it was over and we were back on dry land for a rum punch (it is the Caribbean after all). "Was it good?" the guy with the bottle asked. I said I had only one complaint. It was over too soon.

By the look on his face I got the impression that was not very original.

One of the highlights of my Windstar cruise was the barbecue on the beach at Pigeon Island in St Lucia - burgers, hot dogs, salads .... and the ubiquitous steel band.

It was all going very well, and then they started playing Christmas carols. December 3, on a beach in the Caribbean, with the sun blazing down.

Too early. Out of place. Bah humbug. I went for a walk.

Far better was the discovery that a woman playing a steel drum is called a pimp. At least that's what one of the other band members told me. I just hope he wasn't joking!

I'm pleased to report that this cannon, trained on Windstar's ship Wind Surf, is British.

This is the view from Fort Rodney on Pigeon Island in St Lucia. Behind where I'm standing, clearly visible (but not in this picture - here you are looking at St Lucia), is French Martinique. So back in 1778, our man Rodney realised this hill was a perfect vantage point for keeping an eye on the marauding French so he had this fort built.

But how did they get the cannons up there?

The weather has been doing a grand job trying to make the Brits on Wind Star feel at home. It was raining when I landed in Barbados on Sunday and was pouring down on and off while we were moored off Bequia. But two days on, the Caribbean is back to its hot and sunny best.

I expected mine to be the only English accent on the ship. In fact, there are loads of us. Well relatively speaking. There are actually only 69 passengers anyway, on a ship that holds 315 (15 are British passport holders and there are other Brits from other places around the world), so it feels a lot like the Marie Celeste, especially in the evenings.

On the first evening, the ship was deserted by the time I left the dining room just before 10pm. Things have picked up though. Last night, in the Compass Rose, my favourite bar (pictured), there were eight of us. A busy night for the barman!

Craig and Nicola, who together make up the band Rain and have been singing their socks off to an empty room, looked thrilled.

The upside of having so few passengers is that we are all loving having our own private yacht and the top service that comes with it. There are 188 crew. That's more than two for each passenger - a ratio the luxury lines can only dream of!

I'm even greeted by name as I get in and out of the tender and the barman remembered my cabin number before me.

For those not in the know, Wind Surf is a sailing ship, with five masts and seven big sails. They switch off the engines if there is enough wind - apparently they saved 30 tonnes of fuel on the transatlantic crossing a couple of weeks back by using wind power - but today, the third evening of my cruise, is the first time I have seen them billowing in the wind, and then only four sails are up.

Sadly there weren't any muscle men heaving and straining to hoist the canvas either, as everything is done at the push of a button.

Ah. The romance of technology.

Yesterday, moored off Bequia, in the Grenadines, the marina on Windstar's Wind Surf was lowered for anyone who wanted to have a go at sailing, windsurfing or the like.

It's a great facility. Bjay (pictured below), one of three sport co-odinators, showed me around - six kayaks (three doubles, three singles), two sailing boats, three windsurfs and enough snorkelling equipment for everyone to get masked up and into the water. You can even go waterskiing if the water is calm enough.

You need to be able to sail or windsurf to borrow the equipment, which is all free, but kayaking and snorkelling virgins are fine.

"We also have a rescue boat, but we don't have to use it very often," Bjay reassured me.

I've never had a suite with portholes before.

Thing is, when Windstar's  Wind Surf launched in 1990 - it started life as Club Med I - my room was just an ordinary cabin. Or rather two ordinary cabins. Because my suite is two rooms that have been knocked together.

The result is a lovely big room with two doors, two full-size bathrooms, two work desks, two flat-screen TVs, a big sitting area and the bedroom, and a big curtain across the opening between the sitting area and bedroom that is closed at night. 

I've also got a DVD player - you can borrow DVDs free from the library - and an iPod speaker. And yes. You can even borrow an iPod - again for free.

Oceania Cruises president Bob Binder is not running scared after Nautica was fired on by pirates at the end of last month.

In an interview in Travel Weekly US, he says they will evaluate itineraries in the area in the interest of the safety of passengers, crew and safety - no surprise there - but adds the pirates are "not a great concern".

I imagine the incident was frightening for passengers - that's if they noticed it was happening. Binder says they were asked to leave the open decks twice (standard procedure in such an incident), but the whole thing was over in just a few moments.

But if we're going to let pirates frighten us out of the Gulf of Aden, cruiseships should also stop sailing into Santorini in case they hit an inaccurately chartered reef and avoid the Arctic and Antarctica as they might hit an iceberg. They should also stay out of the English Channel in case they come across the waterborne equivalent of a boy racer.

Life would be so safe. But oh so boring.

Rather than pit passengers against pirates, Cruise Critic says Hapag-Lloyd is going to disembark all those on the first sector of Columbus' world cruise at an undisclosed point before they reach the Gulf of Aden and fly them to Dubai, where they will wait in five-star luxury for the ship to catch up. There will be no extra cost to passengers.

The ship will be manned by a skeleton crew as most of the staff will also be taken off and flown to Dubai.

Hapag-Lloyd managing director Sebastian Ahrens says as long as the situation in the Gulf of Aden is uncertain they will not cruise through the region with passengers on board.

Just over a week ago, there was a failed pirate attack on Oceania Cruises' Nautica.

After a facile welcome meeting on day one of our Costa Victoria cruise, when English-speaking hostess Suzanne showed us how to read the Today daily newsletter - yes, really - there was no way I was going to go to her disembarkation meeting on the penultimate day of our cruise.

So I guess it was my own fault when, at 6am on the day I was disembarking, I went to the Concorde Plaza to collect our passports, armed with photocopies of the picture page of said documents - I guessed they would need these to confirm who we were - only to be sent away to get my end-of-cruise bill.

The Concorde Plaza is at the front of the ship; our cabin was near the back. Just what I needed at the time in the morning. I did as I was asked and returned armed with my bill.

The receptionist took one look at it, said "But you have paid by credit card" and passed it back to me. She looked at me as if I were a bit strange and called over the person waiting behind me. I didn't follow any of this - why was I sent back to get it if she didn't want to see it - but I did notice a lot of people were settling in cash, in which case the bill was stamped.

This procedure is one of several clumsy ways of doing things on Costa Victoria. Like having to carry around photocopies of your passport when you go ashore because the machine that swipes you on and off the ship doesn't flash up with a picture.

On other cruiselines, that same machine also emits a loud "ee-ahh" to tell the guys on security - and everyone around - that you haven't paid your bill. No need to queue early in the morning to show your bill before you can have your passport.

There are no internet packages to help sweeten the 50 cents a minute charge, and credit cards or cash payments have to be registered the day after you come on board instead of at check-in, which was another good way of creating queues.

Costa Victoria is a cosy ship and does have some notable features - I particularly liked the colour-coded cabin layout and the fact you never had to fight for a sunbed - but it is looking worn here and there, even though it's not that old (it was built in 1996). The layout is odd by today's standards and it lacks any mod-cons other than balconies (added in 2004).

Put it another way. It's easy to see why Costa has decided to put the glittery new Costa Luminosa there next winter in response to Royal Caribbean International's decision to try their luck in the Arabian Gulf with Brilliance of the Seas.

I think it took about two minutes in Abu Dhabi, the capital of the United Arab Emirates and third stop on our Costa Victoria cruise from Dubai around Arabia, before I decided I loved this place.

Was it the stunning skyscraper skyline - they call it the Manhattan of Arabia - the blue sea, the sandy beaches, far more trees and grass than you'd ever expect to see in the desert, being driven in style through the city in a silver Mercedes by Nile, our driver for the day, kindly provided by the Abu Dhabi Tourism Authority.

All these things, I guess.

First stop was the huge Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Mosque, where I had to join other women and put on an abaya (gown) and shayla (head cover) before going in (entry and robes are free, by the way).

Then it was on to the Emirates Palace Hotel, which has a central accommodation area with one floor for rulers from the emirates and another for visiting VIPs. There are two helipads (popular with visiting sheikhs), while VIP suites have a private drive and entrance so they don't have to mix with the riff-raff.

Not that your average riff-raff could afford to stay here. The hotel, opened 2005, cost $3 billion to build and is quite stunning. It's done out in colours that reflect the desert. Carpets come from Iran, flowers from Holland, there are 13 types of marble and showers big enough to fit two or three couples - at once! None of that comes cheap.

"All the suites have a dining room," Mirjam, from guest relations, explained as she showed me the the top places to stay. "That glass cost 750 dirham." That's about £150. For one small glass. I inched away from the table..

Cruising on Costa Victoria is a bit like being in the film Cabaret, with every announcement in at least four language and usually many more.

You have to take your hat off to the crew for their ability to switch languages at the drop of a hat. At dinner, our waiter Jose Sanchez, from Peru, speaks English to Ilana and I, Italian to the people on the next table. His native language is Spanish and he also speaks Portuguese. All fluently, without even an "um" or "err".

Captain Mario Moretta was great at his welcome cocktail evening, switching so casually between English, German, Italian, Dutch and French that in the end I really didn't know which language he was speaking. But even he had to use his notes to read a welcome in Japanese and Russian. That got an applause.

Unlike the boat drill, when we had to endure an explanation of what to do when the alarm sounded in eight languages, including Japanese and Russian, then stand by the lifeboats in our lifejackets while more instructions were read. Again in eight languages.

"I wonder what would happen in a real emergency," someone near me commented. "We'd have sunk by the time they got through that lot."

I am not a great fan of that great cruise ship tradition of fixed dining, so I was not looking forward to dinner time on my Costa Cruises' voyage around the Arabian Gulf on Costa Victoria.

In fact I was dreading it so much that even before leaving home, I planned to avoid it by paying to eat to the speciality restaurant every night.

My dread was heightened because it was a Costa cruise, packed with Italians, Germans, French and countless other nationalities. Imagine sharing a table for a whole week with people who do not speak any English.

But here we are, four nights into the cruise, and my daughter Ilana and I have yet to set foot in the speciality restaurant.

Food and the service has been good - and full marks to our assistant waiter Yang Li, from China, who on discovering I like iced-water makes sure there is a jug waiting at the table when we arrive for dinner - but best of all, my daugher Ilana and I have a table for two, by the window, so I don't have to make pathetic attempts to converse in French or German. Italian, I'm afraid, floors me completely.

This is actually our second table. The first was allocated for second sitting, on my request before I know that on Costa that means 9.15pm or 9.30pm, which is too late to eat for me. First sitting is 7pm, which is OK. Certainly not so appalingly early as the 6pm first sitting on other cruise ships.

The change was organised by Fausi, from Tunisia, to whom I explained we needed a table for two because of the language problem. He smiled - somehow I got the idea I was not the first Brit with such a request - shook his head several times and came up trumps. What a star!

Incidentally, the Dutch couple - more correctly he's Dutch, she's English and they live in Holland - we met on our excursion in Oman were allocated a table sharing with others from the Netherlands.

Costa's maitre d's clearly put a lot of thought into this sharing table business. I'm impressed.

Poor P&O. Stories claiming that Ventura descended to the levels of Benidorm on a recent Caribbean cruise is just the sort of publicity it doesn't want.

I don't know how much of the story was truth and how much exaggeration on the part of aggrieved P&O regulars.

But it was an incident waiting to happen once cruiselines decided to open up cruising to all by cutting prices and lowering standards to cater for the lowest common denominator.

Don't get me wrong. The "formal, fixed, fluff and feathers" cruising of old doesn't do anything for me, but it does help to maintain standards and turn off the chavs and tattoo brigade. Almost as successfully as high prices.

But maintaining prices in a recession is hard, especially when you have big ships to fill. Ventura holds more than 3,000 passengers.

Ultra-luxury cruiselines love to use the expression "likeminded people". It's designed to reassure potential passengers with deep pockets they will be cruising with their own sort, not some riff-raff who have picked up a cheap holiday.

It's not a particularly nice turn of phrase, but what a selling point it's going to be from now on.

Am I the only person sad to hear of the refurbishments on Regent Seven Seas two all-balcony ships?

Not the general sprucing up, but the fact Seven Seas Voyager and Seven Seas Mariner have emerged from a $40 million facelift sporting Prime 7 - a new steakhouse where Latitudes speciality restaurant used to be.

I enjoy a good steak, and I am sure the ones in Prime 7 will be first class, but I remember a couple of really lovely Asian meals in Latitudes. It was nice to have a restaurant that served something different, especially as it was done so well.

Now I can have a steak, just as I can on almost every other US cruise ship.

It's another example of creeping standardisation - "he's got a water park/big screen/adults-only area so I want one" - but I suspect the money men have also been at work here. By bringing Regent into synch with sister line Oceania Cruises, which already has the Polo Grill steakhouse, they can probably make use of those wonderful "economies of scale" when it comes to buying beef.

Oh well. At least there's still no charge to dine there. I'll have the Ribeye please.

Full marks to Regent Seven Seas Cruises for coming up with what has to be one of the most innovative "get 'em booking" initiatives. Free shore excursions.

The cost of shorex is a major bugbear for many cruisers, me included. If you're taking one now and then the cost is not so bad maybe, but if there's a couple of you doing one a day (and I have met plenty who do that because they want to see as much as possible) you can easily clock up £500 per person. Ouch.

But not with Regent. You have to book by March 31 to get the free excursions and they only apply to certain cruises but I've had a quick look on the website and there seems to be plenty of variety in terms of where to cruise and departure dates.

Regent's UK office is also freezing dollar-pound exchange rates for a while. Until June 30 you can get $1.95 for your £ instead of the miserable $1.45 you'd get in the markets. That's got to be worth a few bob in the pocket as well.

Chronicles, the daily "what's on" book (I kid you not, it has to be the biggest newsletter I've seen on a cruise ship) delivered each day to my suite on Silversea's Silver Wind bills Visakhapatnam "the Jewel of the East Coast".

Hmmm. Can't help thinking that was written by someone who had never been there. By the time my friend Steve and I made it into the city just before 12 noon, every other passenger seemed to be coming back, greeting us with grimaces and the words "good luck".

They were harsh. It's true the city doesn't have a great deal going for it in the looks department, we had a lovely few hours there, enjoying a real slice of Indian life.

We had fun watching the chaos as the buses and tuk-tuks honked and hooted their way through the streets, swerving around pedestrians who had no intention of moving out of the way. Even our Italian captain Ignazio Tatulli had to admit the Italians were mere novices behind a wheel compared to the Indians.

Somehow a policeman was almost managing to control the chaos - and as we returned to the shuttle bus he even held up the traffic for us to cross.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We wandered down the street, wondering if there was anything to see other than this phone - wired into the telegraph pole you'll notice....

...when we chanced upon this market. It was fabulous. Fruits and veg, some of which I didn't recognise, sacks of chillis, packs of leaves that are used as plates, coloured powder which they throw into the air when worshipping. And the people were so friendly despite a bit of a language barrier. These young lads just loved having their picture taken.

Getting off the Silver Wind was not such a lark, mind. It took more than two hours for the Indian authorities to clear the ship - and there are only 213 of us on board, incidentally being looked after by 219 crew so I've struck gold again in the brilliant service stakes.

The shuttle bus into the city arrived just as our feet touched terra firma, but took 15 minutes to get going as there was much debate between the driver and the crowds of port workers who had clustered around the ship. I'm told they get two cruise ships a year so it's a bit of a novelty. I've no idea what they were debating but eventually the driver gave up and drove off.

But then we had to get out of the gate. Official-looking people came on, got off, more official people came on. We brandished the immigration forms we'd been given but no one was remotely interested. They got off and more people came on - and got off. The bus moved - but only to let a lorry around us. But finally we were on the way.

This was a maiden visit for Silversea and I'm pretty sure they won't be back. The long time for clearance was tough for the officers and crew, and I reckon most passengers stayed in town only long enough to decide they wanted to get back to the ship.

I'm left pondering why people would spend a lot of money coming on a luxury cruise ship around India if they don't want to see it.

"It's such a big suite for one person," Barbara, my room stewardess, from Hungary, laughs as I returned from breakfast this morning. I guess a single traveller in an Owner's Suite is a little unusual, but I love having so much space.

This suite was the spa until Silversea's Silver Wind went into dry dock in October/November last year and is apparently a mirror image of the Owner's Suite that was already on the vessel. It's one of several big changes they made on the ship during the upgrade.

There are four new Millennium Suites by the bridge on deck eight, where the officers' accommodation used to be, the spa has moved to the top of the ship, deck nine, where once there were sun loungers and there is a new Medallion Suite.

Apparently it's bigger than my room, but has no balcony so it's popular with passengers because the price is nice! I'm hoping to get a look sometime but as it's occupied I'll have to bide my time.

But let me take you on a quick tour of the Owner's Suite: As you come in the door, there is a guest toilet on the left. It's my Mount Everest. I feel must use it because it is there.

You enter into the spacious sitting-cum-dining room. There's a Espresso coffee-maker, a bar stocked with various spirits (all free as this is an all-inclusive ship), an exit to the balcony and a huge flat-screen TV and DVD player.

There's a DVD library downstairs so I plan to treat myself to an evening in at the flicks at least one night; not quite so sure about the Piano by Candlelight 10 CD collection they've provided. Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, the music of Burt Bacharach. Not quite me, I'm afraid.

There's also an atlas, which is great as I love to keep an eye on where I'm going - and like to feel I can step in if the Captain needs a hand!

From the sitting area, you go onto a small corridor. The bathroom is to the left, with a bath and shower (took me a while to find the latter as it somes out of the ceiling and drains into the floor), the bedroom to the right, with another door onto the balcony and another big flat-screen TV. Straight ahead and you're into the big walk-in wardrobe.

And then there is Suren, my wonderful butler, who comes from India. He appears every now and again bearing gifts such as this bowl of fruit, tidies my clothes and generally keeps me in order. How did I ever manage without him?

Did I say I have seen it all when it comes to driving in India? That was before Mumbai, formerly Bombay, which makes everywhere else I've been on this Silversea cruise around India on Silver Wind look amateurish when it comes to bad driving.

Not that the driving was my problem on my day in the city. I left that to my taxi driver Gurcharan Singh, who I promised to recommend if anyone is visiting the city. His car is clean and in good nick, he speaks English well and he'll make sure you see all the must-see sights (you can call him on 9821375607 but be prepared to bargain a bit!)

No. My problem was crossing the road to get from the cab to see the colourful fruit, veg and spices at Crawford Market. Going one way I sheltered behind a local who was making the death-defying trip; on the way back I was on my own. Thing is, they don't stop, but weave around you, leaving you an island amid all the cars.

In desperation I resorted to holding my hand up as a stop sign, hoping they would take pity on me. They didn't exactly stop, but as you see I lived to tell the tale.

Mumbai is an amazing place. If you visit be sure to go to the Dhobi Ghat, or laundry (below), where 4,500 people live and work keeping the 16 million citizens of the city clean. Gurcharan explained that smaller laundries, acting as agents, collect the washing and bring it to one like this. He claims they never lose anything.

You also have to see the Gateway of India, built 1911 to commemorate a visit by King George V and Queen Mary; the last British troops left India from here in 1948.

In the days of empire, this is where important people - governors and the like - disembarked after sailing from the UK with P&O; these days it's full of hawkers trying to sell you stuff or spin a bad-luck story so you'll hand over wads of cash. It's irritating but the way of the world here so grin and bear it - and hang on to your money!

The Taj hotel so badly damaged during the terrorist attack in November is just to one side of the gateway. They've done a great job fixing it up and it's good to see life going on as normal all around.

My tour took me into the red light district, past some of the famous Mumbai slums, now even more famous thanks to Slumdog Millionaire, and to the Victoria Terminus.

Like so much in India, the station has been renamed. It's now called Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vaastu Sanghralaya. Don't panic, though, because like so much in India, the locals still call it by its original name. Can't think why.

And yes, they do still call Mumbai Bombay. "It's much easier to say," Gurcharan explained.

"There are three things you need when driving in Goa", Mario, our guide for the day, informs us as our rickety old bus puffs and wheezes its out of the port of Mormugao on the temples and spices tour. "A good horn, good brakes and good luck."

This is the fifth port in India that Silver Wind has visited on this Silversea around India and I reckon I have seen it all when it comes to driving in this country.

Drivers who fit their vehicles through gaps as long as there is a paper width of space on either side, overtake in the face of oncoming traffic, hoot horns in the hope it will save them from meeting their maker, and motorbikes that weave in and out of cars and tuk-tuks, often coming to a sudden stop when there is no more space.

Yet it all seems to work.

Mario was full of interesting information about Goa, which was Portuguese rather than British, and only got its independence in 1961 - 14 years after the rest of India.

Part one of the tour was a Hindu temple, which was interesting, but the highlight for me was the spice farm. I've been there before and knew that after a walk through the spice plants they serve a proper spicy curry - something I have been dying for every since joining the ship.

This poor man has to shin up and down a beetle nut tree every time tourists walk by to show how it's done...

...and this is Sandhip, our guide at the plantation, with a cashew nut flower. It's soft and smells of peaches. The skin is used to make the local fire water, which was not bad. but it smelt vile.

The food on Silver Wind has been really very good, but why oh why, on a cruise around India, is there not at least one curry option on the menu each evening?

I had a curry on the galley lunch day (this is an amazing event on all Silversea ships where they open the galley as a self-service restaurant) and another a couple of evenings ago, which French executive chef Laurent Austrui squeezed in among the veal and duck due to popular demand.

I have always thought cruise ship menus should better reflect the places they visit - spicy jerk chicken in Jamaica, tapas dinners in Spain, crispy duck in China, and so on.

Seems a lot of passengers might just agree with me.

Silversea's Silver Wind is a lovely ship, but by the third sea day after leaving Visakhapatnam, I was starting to dream of containers (you know, those big boxes that any port worth its salt has in spades) and silos.

So I was thrilled and relieved in equal measure to arrive in Cochin, where we have been for the past two days.

I had booked a tour to the Kerala Backwaters for the second day, so decided to go exploring in Cochin on day one. What an experience. First you have to run the gauntlet of the taxi drivers who are allowed in the port. A second tier of taxi and tuk-tuk drivers is waiting as you get out of the port gates; past another barrier, it's the third rank tuk-tuk guys.

I began to get an idea of what honey pots must feel like as drivers swarmed around, followed me, and drove past me, waiting until I got near so they could pounce again. It sounds awful, but they were not at all threatening, just a bit of a pain.

By walking quite a distance from the port, I not only got a good price for a ride into the city and back, but also travelled in style - in this air-conditioned Ferrari (that's what he said it was anyway) driven by Wahab.

He took me around some of the highlights - these fishing nets, the spice shops - waiting for me at each and then delivered me safely back to the ship.

Day two was a trip to the Backwaters. The first time I did this, the excursion was a transfer to Alleppey and a two-hour cruise on a tourist boat before returning to our cruise ship, and I loved it so much - so beautiful and peaceful - I decided to go again despite the rather scary (at current exchange rates) $199 price tag.

But boy, was this different. The 90-minute drive to Alleppey was in a mini bus with just eight people (there were more people in other buses) and we cruised for two hours on one of these houseboats. Just us eight. How exclusive is that!

These have anything from one to five bedrooms, and tourists come on usually for a night, but longer if they wish. There are around 500 of them plying the Backwaters.

Then it was off to the Marari Hotel for a lunch - a curry at last! - and paddle in the sea before returning to the ship. Two hours later the ropes were cast and we're now off again. Next stop New Mangalore.

Next time you moan about forking out $20 or $25 to eat in a cruise ship's speciality restaurant, spare a thought for the poor souls on Silversea vessels.

On Silversea's Silver Wind (and actually all the ships in the Silversea fleet except Prince Albert II), a night out in the speciality restaurant will set you back $200 a head. Yes really. But boy, do you get a night to remember for your $200!

As you sit down you are presented with a menu bearing your name (a copy is waiting for you later in your suite) and Bharati, the excellent maitre d' and sommelier - and also a bit of a dab hand when it comes to taking photos - and Raj, the waiter in Le Champagne, start to work their magic. Between them can't do enough to make the evening really special.

And then there is the wonderful food, all carefully prepared by Ryan, chef of Le Champagne, and the excellent wines. After a welcome glass of Champagne, you launch into the food and Bharati serves a specially-picked wine to go with each course. Pouring only after explaining its finer qualities, of course.

As you can see, by the end of the evening I was disappearing behind the glasses - there were another two wines to come after this picture was taken!

I was there for the Burgundy night, but there is also a Bordeaux one, an Italian one, a North American one and a Spanish one. Menus change every two days.

Whichever you choose, Bharati won't book more than 16 people per evening, spread out over a maximum five tables, so the experience is very special. In fact, when I dined there it was just me and two friends. Brilliant.

If the $200 price tag sounds just a little too high (actually it doesn't even cover the cost of the wine), you can pay just $30 per person to enjoy the food, but with this option you also have to pay for the wine (whereas it's free everywhere else on the ship). "We have wine for $1,800 a bottle," Bharati tells me.

Makes the degustation menu sound a bargain.

Oh to be crossing the Atlantic on Cunard's Queen Mary 2 on June 19, when James Taylor will be playing two gigs (actually they're "command performances" on the QM2).

I admit I am not the world's greatest James Taylor fan - far from it (if he walked past me in Sainsbury's I would never know) - but how I have longed to see some real singing talent on cruise ships. And here it is.

He'll be on a eastbound crossing from New York to Southampton and is using it as a way to get his band, crew, gear and family to Europe - minus jetlag -  for a summer tour.

I, meanwhile, will be at the Association of Cruise Experts' Cruise Convention in Dover.

By the way, there is still room on the June 19 crossing if, like me, you would like a break from the traditional belt-em-out singers they so love on cruise ships.

Nakheel, the Dubai company that now owns QE2, says it is considering opening the ship to tours in its current state in response to popular demand. Probably also because it is rather expensive having a ship moored up with engines running, especially in these tough economic times.

The company is clearly smarting over rumours that money is so tight it has droppped plans to spend millions transforming QE2 into a luxury floating hotel and might now sell it for scrap.

A very long statement says, in a nutshell, that it takes time to work out how best to do all the work. It explains an engine is running to provide power and light and keep the air circulating.

"Irrespective of short-term plans, the ultimate goal is to renovate and refurbish QE2, and for her to be the focal point of a luxury precinct, dedicated to her, that will recreate an authentic luxury ocean liner ambience and lifestyle. There is no question of QE2 being operated as a cruise liner or of her being sold to any third party whatsoever."
 

First reports on the future design are expected at the end of the summer, at which point they will issue a timeline for the refurbishment (well, almost total rebuild really).

I can't wait.

I'm delighted to read MSC Cruises is to recognise the bravery of the four crew members who dived in to rescue the passenger ditched into the sea when MSC Fantasia's gangway collapsed last week.

It all happened in Palma, when high winds caused Fantasia's bow mooring bollards to come loose. The ship moved away from the dock and the gangway went down. The local port authorities have admitted responsibility of the incident.

The Fantasia four - Caso Salvatore, chief crew steward, from Italy; Naim Samsudin, able fireman, from Indonesia; Andrian O Williams, housekeeping cleaner, from Madagascar; and Faamoe Lalopua, Able Sailor, from Samoa - went immediately to the rescue and had the 80-year-old passenger out of the water in minutes. He is said to be recovering well in hospital.

That has to be service beyond the call of duty. I hope they are well rewarded. They certainly deserve it.

Regular readers will have been following my recent travels around India; now, almost two weeks after my return - where does the time go? -  it's time for a few thoughts on my ship, Silversea's Silver Wind.

I last cruised with Silversea in 2008 and visited some drop-dead gorgeous places in the Mediterranean, but felt Silversea's six stars need to be taken out and given a polish; other ultra-luxury lines were not just snapping at the heels but overtaking.

Not any more. Money is being invested across the fleet to modernise the ships. Silver Wind only emerged from drydock in November, a couple of months before I was on, and is sporting a lot of new features.

All the suites on Silver Wind now have flat-screen TV - that might sound trivial but clunky old TVs make a room look very outdated.

There is also a new category of large Medallion suites on deck eight forward (pictured) and a new Owners' Suite - that was my room! - where the spa used to be. The spa is now on deck nine, where there was once open deck space.

When I was on board, I was one of the lucky ones to have a butler, the lovely Suren, but Silversea has just announced that butler service is being rolled out across all suite categories on all ships this year. As every cabin is a suite in Silversea's world, that means everyone gets a butler. Polishing those six stars again, you see.

Like most of the top-ranking luxury lines, Silversea is all inclusive so there's nothing to pay for drinks, whether soft or alcoholic. It does mean Silversea costs more, I know, but it's so nice not to have drinks waiters hovering awkwardly while you try to find your cruise card - and you never hear anyone moan about the 15% gratuity other lines slap on the drinks bill!

Included drinks also helps the onboard ambience no end. You can sit and enjoy a drink with someone you've just met without worrying who is going to pay. As one woman pointed out, that is especially nice if you're cruising alone.

My evenings were spent in The Bar - yes, that's really its name and it was above The Restaurant (functional but not too imaginative) - where we were looked after like royalty by Oliver and Covi. It was always packed before dinner, a bit busy after and empty by 11.30pm. There is a nice Panorama Lounge on deck eight (always busy for the cute sandwiches and cakes they serve for afternoon tea) and a cosy library if you want a quiet read or to borrow a DVD.

The service on Silver Wind was faultless. Not just efficient, but genuinely friendly. These guys never stopped smiling. They were even smiling when three of us turned up at the 11th hour for dinner one night, just when they might have been hoping for an early night. Nothing was ever too much trouble.

The food was also consistently good - even the hotdogs and burgers around the pool. Dinner in the main dining room (The Restaurant - pictured here) is open seating so you can eat when you want and sit with whom you want. I like that. And that food was almost always delivered hot, which was another plus point for me.

For a change, you can eat in La Terrazza, which is the buffet by day and a speciality Italian restaurant by night. There's no extra charge to dine there, but you do need to book and numbers are limited so as not to spoil the ambience.

There is another alternative - the paid-for Le Champagne, which I have already written about.

While on the subject of food I must mention the galley lunch. I have never seen anything like this. On a sea day, on every cruise where possible, the galley is turned into a self-service and you just go in and help yourself to the salads, cold meats, stir-fries, fish, roast beef, fiery curry (well it was by the time I had added a good dollup of chilli) and other dishes on offer.

It was brilliant - not only because the food was so tasty but because this was so very different. The crew had worked so hard getting the galley dressed up for the occasion and I think I can safely say that everyone appreciated it.

Silversea has some unheard of deals at the moment - not just great discounts, but you'll also get spending money to use in Le Champagne or put towards shore excursions. It's a cliche I know, but luxury really has never been so affordable. Why not give it a go?

It was always such an easy equation. SeaDream Yacht Club ships had 55 cabins - sorry, suites - and held 110 passengers. I could do that even without O level maths.

But things are changing over at the diminutive luxury specialist. SeaDream II is now sporting a new suite, and sister ship SeaDream I - because the company is very fair - is going to get one too.

On both, the new Admiral's Suite is where the boutique used to be. I'm told the folk at SeaDream who did pass O level maths did a few calculations and decided they could make more monely selling the space as a suite than they did from it as a shop where passengers bought the odd tube of toothpaste or branded shirt.

You can still buy that stuff, but it's all at reception now.

SeaDream I is going into a shipyard in Lisbon for its new suite refit. Work starts in June, so the accommodation will be ready for the start of the Mediterranean season.

"It's a bit smaller than the Owners' Suite, so it's a bit cheaper," SeaDream's head of UK business Ian Buckeridge says. If size means anything, it's 375 square feet, while the Owners' Suite is 450 square feet.

The new suite has a separate living/dining area - the latter with a dining table that seats four - a master bedroom and one-and-a-half bathrooms. There is an entertainment center with wall-mounted flat-screen TV, refreshment centre - I assume that's what we ordinary mortals call a minibar - and writing desk.

The master bedroom features a queen-sized bed with flat-screen TV and a master bathroom with marble walls and floor, multi-jet shower massage, tub and vanity area. There is no balcony - none of the SeaDream rooms have balconies - but the suite has three panorama windows looking out to sea.

The suite is a great addition, but the timing is lousy as SeaDream is having to discount to fill existing capacity - just 110 passengers (112 with the new room) don't forget."It's a tough environment," Buckeridge admits.

Sixties band The Merseybeats have signed up to be on Black Prince's farewell cruise from Liverpool on September 9.

The Fred Olsen ship is retiring in October after more than 40 years of sterling service because it's too expensive to do all the work needed for the vessel to meet new SOLAS (Safety of Life at Sea) regulations coming in 2010.

The Merseybeats were in the charts when Black Prince set sail, which means its members must be at least as old as Fred passengers (average 60-plus) - unless of course this is the Merseybeats mark 2 (or 3, 4, 5).

That was the case on P&O Cruises' Aurora last year. We had the Batchelors. Well, actually one Batchelor. The other two were imitations, but still no spring chickens.

If the Merseybeats have also plucked some ageing singers from obscurity to make up numbers, I guess Black Prince will sail gracefully, rather than rock, into retirement. But that's just perfect for dedicated followers of Fred.

Prices start from £1,045 for the 10-night cruise, which visits Belfast, the Hebrides, Chatham, St Peter Port in Guernsey, Falmouth and Dublin.

Princess Cruises is back in the Med in force in 2010 and offering a new selection of seven-night cruises, which are great for anyone desperate to cruise but short on time and money.

These week-long "Interludes" are on Ocean Princess (that's currently the Tahitian Princess but the ship is being renamed Ocean Princess in November 2009). The ship holds just under 700 pasengers and the Interludes will be around the Greek Isles, Scandinavia, Norway, Ireland, Scotland and the Western Med.

There are also more overnight options. The ships will be staying two days in Israel, Egypt and St Petersburg (a regular two-nighter) so there's more time to explore these fascinating places. Pyramids in Cairo anyone? Or a day floating in the Dead Sea?

There are also some interesting new ports lined up - Cephalonia (made famous by Captain Corelli), the Greek island of Khios, Koper in Slovenia, for days out in Ljublijana, and Constanta in Romania to name but a few.

Princess will have six ships in Europe next year. Itineraries include the signature Grand Mediterranean Voyage - a brilliant cruise for ticking off some of Europe's most iconic cities. Athens, Istanbul, Rome, Florence, Naples. I'll be doing it in August on their newest ship, Ruby Princess, pictured here at the very red naming ceremony last November, and can't wait.

People booked to cruise on Hebridean Spirit, just sold by Hebridean International Cruises, have become hot property.

We've had Swan to the rescue offering them a 5% discount, Silversea to the rescue offering a 10% discount and now SeaDream Yacht Club has stepped in offering 15% off the "book today" prices for 2009 and 2010.

Decisions, decisions.

SeaDream's two 112-passenger vessels are closest in size to Hebridean's 98-passenger Hebridean Spirit (and they have the added advantage of being all-inclusive, as was Spirit) but they only sail in the Med and Caribbean.

Silversea's Prince Albert II, with capacity for 132 passengers, is also pretty close, and also all-inclusive. But at the moment it only sails in the Arctic and Antarctica.

If passengers want greater choice of exciting destinations, it has to be Swan. Minerva is bigger - 350 passengers - and unfortunately you have to pay for drinks on board, but you do get to visit places such as North Africa, the Black Sea, South Africa, Turkey and Mozambique. And that's just the sort of thing that Hebridean Spirit did too.

The way things are going, though, the best thing is probably just to sit tight and wait for the next "rescue package". Judging from past experience it will be offering an even bigger discount!

News that The World - that's the cruise ship that sells apartments but also carries "ordinary" passengers - will be cruising the Sea of Cortez in May had me scurrying for a map.

It transpires the Sea of Cortez is actually the Gulf of California and is the area of water that separates the Baja California Peninsula from the Mexico mainland.

The sea is just 868 miles long and 130 miles wide; The World will be taking 10 days to voyage up and down on the cruise from Cabo San Lucas in Mexico, which is at the tip of the Baja California Peninsula. That means the ship will be cruising just 86 miles a day!

That's still faster than John Steinbeck (Author of The Grapes of Wrath). He took six weeks to sail the sea, but he was on collecting marine specimens for a non-fiction book.

It's the marine life that attracts people here; over 10 days the people of The World should have time to see some of it while they are hiking, kayaking, diving and snorkeling, especially as there is an expedition team on board to help them with sightings.

Catch it at the right moment and you get humpback whales, killer whales, manta rays, leatherback sea turtles, even the blue whale, the world's largest animal, passing through. And there are lots of smaller fish and marine mammals.

The World is sold through The Cruise Line. Call 0800 008 6677 for more information.

Nobuyuki "Nobu" Matsuhisa, the man generally credited with having introduced the western world to sushi, is joining Crystal Serenity's Venice to Athens cruise departing July 28.

Nobu already has restaurants on both Crystal Cruises' ships - Serenity and Symphony. There's the Silk Road for his famous Japanese-with-a-Peruvian-twist-style dining and the Sushi Bar for those who fancy a finger-sized bite of raw fish.

While on board, he will be preparing meals for the Silk Road, signing books and hosting cooking demonstrations.

The 12-night cruise costs from £4,285 per person including flights, transfers, soft drinks and all the sushi you can eat (there is some other food too). You'll also get $2,000 per couple shipboard credit through the promotion called "As you wish". You can spend it on drinks, shore excursions, in the spa. Basically as you wish.

Regent Seven Seas Cruises has been forced to cut short Seven Seas Voyager's world cruise after discovering the damage done when fishing lines got tangled in a propulsion pod was greater than first thought.

Attempts had been made to fix the damage in Cochin and Dubai, but it's not been enough. Now the ship is going into dry-dock in Rome for repairs, meaning the end of the line for the world cruisers on board.

They should have sailed from Istanbul, arriving in Fort Lauderdale on May 8. Instead they will all be flown home from Rome. Regent has also cancelled the May 8 sailing from Fort Lauderdale to Southampton via Reykjavik.

It must be pretty gutting to have got so far around the world, only for the voyage to end on such a sour note. But there is a silver lining: Regent has offered a generous compensation packet - and without the passengers even having to threaten a mutiny - including a full refund for passengers on the March 18 voyage from Singapore to Dubai, which was marred by missed ports (the damage was done on leaving Singapore).

Cruise Critic quotes one member saying the "mood of the ship has changed from disappointment and complaints to elation".

Nice one Regent. It might be painful financially but at least passengers will leave with happy thoughts.

Hearing that my cruise to Libya was cancelled when Hebridean International Cruises sold "my" ship, Swan Hellenic has stepped in and I am now booked to go with them instead.

There are just over three weeks until the off and I can't wait. Internet allowing, I'll be reporting back daily on the cruise and destinations.

Swan, you may remember, moved fast on news that Hebridean Spirit had been sold, offering all the newly de-Spirted passengers a 5% discount. Details on the website.

I wonder if others who should have been going to Libya with Hebridean will be on Minerva with me. We could form a Swan Appreciation Society.

Is anyone surprised that Miles Morgan Travel took 100 bookings in 24 hours for its Titanic memorial cruise?

The ship might have sunk 100 years ago, but there can't be anyone in this country - dare I say in the western world? - that does not know, and is not interested in, what happened that fateful night in April 1912. Even the young generation knows thanks to Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio.

When she heard of the memorial cruise, my 15-year-old daughter asked whether it wasn't a bit gruesome. Well yes. But that's the point. We all love the gory and the gruesome. It's why people go on Jack the Ripper walks in London and why Ground Zero in New York became a huge tourist attraction.

A Titanic cruise that even stops for a memorial service where the ship went down fits the gruesome bill perfectly, but there's more to it than that. Those on board - Miles Morgan has chartered Fred Olsen Cruise Lines' Balmoral for the voyage - will be living history in their own small way.

I expect the other berths to be snapped up in no time, even though the cruise doesn't happen until 2012. A website has been set up with all the details for those who want to book.

Miles says they will be avoiding ice-bergs at all costs. It'll certainly be a good idea to avoid hitting any, but I bet most passengers will be disappointed if they don't see at least one. It would add just enough authenticity.

I'll also bet a few passengers will be sussing out the lifeboat deck as soon as they get on board. Counting seats. Just in case.

Depends what you think of Marco Pierre White and spending your holidays being yelled at while slaving over a hot stove.

Because the Hell's Kitchen star will be hosting cookery classes on three Ventura cruises this year.

Why Marco? The White Room on Ventura is named after the fiery chef, who also devised all the menus served there, and he rather fancies passing on his culinary skills to us ordinary mortals.

Marco Pierre White Heavens Kitchen sessions - for groups of up to eight adults and children only - will cost £75 per adult and £35 per child and are available on three 14-night cruises from Southampton to the Med. One departs on May 8, another on July 3 and the last on September 25.

It's getting hard to keep up with what's happening in the cruise market from the UK for 2010.

First Norwegian Cruise Line pulls its cruises from Southampton on Norwegian Jade - the ship will instead be sailing from Venice - then Thomson launches its 2010 brochure with all traces of cruising from the UK gone. Instead it will be sailing from Marmaris, Palma and Corfu.

And now Royal Caribbean has announced it will sail year-round from Southampton with the 3,600-passenger Independence of the Seas starting winter 2010/11. Cruises go on sale June 1 2009.

Winter in the Med? Departing from Southampton? Taking on the Bay of Biscay when the weather can be atrocious? The very thought fills me with horror, especially after Balmoral's rough ride over Biscay this winter.

Independence might be a newer ship, but it was built to cruise in the Caribbean. It's got stabilisers it's true, but they are not much good when things get too rough. It's also very tall - the equivalent of a nautical brick wall. Just what you don't want on a windy day.

Robin Shaw, Royal Caribbean Cruise Line vice-president and managing director UK and Ireland says bringing the ship to Southampton year-round is all about cementing the line's position as one of the leading players in the UK cruise industry.

Very flattering. But what's wrong with a nice flycruise from Barcelona, where there's a chance of better weather, cutting out the two potentially rocky days it takes to sail from Southampton to the Med and the two it takes to get back.

It's great news for the city of Southampton of course - it reckons that each passenger who joins a cruise at the port generates £380 for the local economy. That's a potential £50 million if the line can fill the ship all year. But that's a big if.

Or is it? The cruises, ranging from 11 to 18 nights, will be visiting the Italian Riviera and the Balearic Islands and cost from just £799 for an 11-night cruise to the Canary Islands. That's £73 a night with all food and entertainment thrown in.

It's a small price to pay for a few days of discomfort.

News of the fun and games on MSC Melody at the weekend has put Fred Olsen Cruise Lines off taking its chances through the Gulf of Aden.

It probably was never too comfortable with the idea of sailing through pirate waters after its own experience back in March. The Sun's version makes fun reading. What I believe to be the more accurate account is here.

Whatever happened that night, Fred is not taking any more chances. The return leg of its world cruise on Balmoral in 2010 will now take passengers from Australia across the Indian Ocean to South Africa and back to the UK by the west coast of Africa.

They should have been visiting ports in the Indian Ocean en route to Dubai, Oman and Egypt, and coming home through the Suez Canal.

The cruise will still leave Dover on January 5 2010 and return 106 nights later on April 21.

The Israeli security staff on MSC Melody who repelled an attack by pirates in the Gulf of Aden over the weekend by firing on them have become overnight heros.

Not with the bleeding heart human rightists - they are still wringing their hands over news that the Israeli security staff had guns - but with ordinary people who can't understand why governments from all countries are dancing around the Somali pirates instead of blasting them out of the water.

The Israelis on MSC's Melody, hired from a private security firm, didn't even need to do that. Captain Ciro Pinto, who is also something of a hero in my book for having the courage to take action, ordered that pistols kept in a safe on the ship be handed to the guards.

They opened fire as the pirates tried to board the ship and water hoses were also turned on the bandits so they gave up.

Domenico Pellegrino, MSC Cruises managing director, said of the Israeli security guards: "We use them because they are the best -- and we have just had a demonstration of that."

Interestingly, Ally suggests on TravelMole that MSC brought the attack on by telling the world last week it was changing its route through the Gulf while another writes on Cruise Log that MSC was a brand struggling to become known in North America. "Now everybody knows who they are.....the cruise line with REAL security on board. Bravo!" writes King Bob.

See where I'm going? No. A marketing ploy too far surely!

But do take a moment to read some of the comments on Cruise Log. These are some of my favourites:

* In a related news story in which Royal Caribbean says: "We will charge a surcharge for pirate entertainment."

* A new on-board activity......shoot to kill the pirates. Prizes for the best killshot, sinking the pirate craft, etc. Ship could offer free gratuties, free casino plays and free pirate costumes for the winners.

* Bring back skeet shooting on cruise ships! Then passengers could provide their own security. More fun than any rock-climbing wall. For every pirate taken out, the cruise line could offer an onboard credit!

The people have spoken!

P&O passengers have voted Aurora their favourite ship, with Ventura (above) bottom of the pile at number six. The ship even scored less than Artemis, the old lady of the P&O fleet.

Given the negative publicity Ventura has suffered since its launch last April, it's really not a surprise, so I mention it only because interestingly, the results are so very different from the scores in the Berlitz Guide to Cruising.

Author Douglas Ward puts Ventura in top place with Aurora at number five. Arcadia is number two (5th place with passengers), Oriana number three (2), Oceana number 4 (3) and Artemis down in 6th place (5).

Has the Bible lost touch with the people? I'm cruising on Ventura at the end of May so I'll let you know.

After a horrible day rocking and rolling across between Alexandria and Benghazi, I am pleased to say the Med returned to it more usual millpond self for the journey to Al Khums, our second stop in Libya.

It's meant another day at sea and finally I've been able to get a taste of real life on Minerva - one where everyone does not walk around apparently drunk.

Like everyone else, that means I've done very little.

Sea days on Swan Hellenic's Minerva are quiet affairs. Everyone goes to the lectures so they can talk about them later over lunch or dinner; in between times they sit and read or chat, walk a mile or two around the Promenade Deck, have a go at the jigsaw in the library and send emails.

At least they try to. There are just three terminals, lined up in a row at the edge of the library and they go at a snail's pace (which is why you are having to do without links on these blogs, so my apologies for that). Judging by the constant moans and groans, a bit of modernisation wouldn't go amiss.

And of course the passengers eat. Non-stop it seems. About five minutes after 12 today, barely three hours after breakfast had finished, the pool deck was packed as everyone got in line for the curry specials executive chef Christian Wastl was serving outside. I waited an hour, not just for the queue to go down but to find somewhere to sit.

Was it worth it? Well, I guess it wouldn't have been so popular if it wasn't any good - or was it just that it was something new to do? - but the curry was too mild for me, even after a hefty dose of chilli was added.

Overall though, the food has been good and the service excellent. The barmen know my favourite drinks already and which cabin to charge. All I have to do is say yes please and thank you when the drink arrives - oh, and sign the bill as well, but prices are very reasonable and there are no gratuities added.

The lectures are the highlight for most passengers. I have been watching them, but on my cabin TV rather than going to the lounge as it's more comfortable and you can switch over if they get too heavy or detailed, which they tend to do.

"We only went to one today and it went on for far too long," a couple I met over lunch admitted after discovering that I too had been very errant in my education this morning. But there are only so many pictures of ruined vases and tales from the antiquities a girl can take.

I use the term advisedly, having been called the "girl" from the Telegraph yesterday. I pointed out I was neither a girl or from the Telegraph, but do write for the paper, but inwardly was rather flattered.

I guess it indicates the age of many of my fellow passengers, but I should say there are also quite a few younger people than on my last cruise with Swan. Put it another way, no one has asked me yet if I am the entertainment!

After a series of delays, caused first by rocky seas in the Mediterranean, and then by the Libyan authorities (of which more another time), my excursion from Benghazi to the ancient city of Cyrene finally set off.

Originally we were supposed to leave at 8.30am but our arrival in Benghazi had to be rescheduled when we lost time rocking across from Alexandria. As the morning ticked on, it was delayed again and again, until morning became afternoon and the authorities just ran out of reasons why we shouldn't set foot ashore.

So five hours after the original time we were supposed to leave and more than three and a half hours after the rescheduled one (if you're still with me), we were finally on our way.

A quick aside. As we passed the morning reminiscing about the bumpy crossing the day before, one woman revealed she made the mistake of saying she didn't think they got such bad weather in the Med. Apparently that was the cue for the "I remember when..." brigade to pop up - something they do with alarming regularity on Minerva.

But more of life on board this Swan Hellenic ship another day.

Mohammed, our guide, was very apologetic for the delay, said a few words about Libya's coastline and then did the unthinkable. Sat back and said almost nothing until we arrived at the site. In fact, he was at a total loss when one person asked if he could tell us about life in Libya. I was not alone in thinking the trip was going to be a disaster.

We were all wrong. As soon as we got to Cyrene, Mohammed (pictured below) came alive. He told me he was involved in the excavation work there for 40 years, in between working at the university, and was passionate and knowledgeable about everything to do with Greek and Roman archaeology.

He taught himself English - and Italian and a bit of French - because they don't teach any languages in school and now, having had to retire (62 and you're out in Libya), he takes the few tourists who get to Libya around the site.

Leptis Magna is the best-known Roman site in Libya, and we will be visiting there in a couple of days, but Cyrene has to be a very close second.

I won't go into the historical detail as you can look that up, but in a nutshell it was built by Greeks from Santorini, taken over by the Romans, destroyed during a Jewish uprising, rebuilt and destroyed again in an earthquake in 365AD which destroyed all the cities along the North African coast, which sank four metres.

The site is huge - and they have only excavated 20% of it - and there are some fascinating remains to see. Temples, columns, a huge gymnasium, which was built as a forum by the Romans, theatres, amphitheatres. Below is the Gymnasium, which became the Forum under the Romans, the running track, overlooked by the gods, and me with one of the remaining statues. Mohammed said they reckon up to 25,000 people once lived here.

What was as fascinating for me, though, was the three-hour drive there from the port, which gave just a small glimpse of life in Libya. Good roads, hardly any cars, no road signs (I am intrigued as to how anyone finds their way around), no arrows to indicate a bend or roundabout (so how do they know what to do), and just two pairs of traffic lights - and they weren't working.

As I am walking around the site, a voice in my ear says, "I remember when..." As I said, they pop up everywhere.

Getting to Alexandria and on board Swan Hellenic's Minerva was rather like a military operation, which was very fitting given my first excursion was to El Alamein, famous for the battle that proved the turning point of Britain's fortunes in the Second World War.

My flight landed in Cairo at 12.40am, by 1.15am I was in a car and heading out of the airport, 4am I checked into the Hilton hotel in Alexandria, 7am I checked out again and by 8am I was stepping on board Minerva. At 9am I disembarked again for the excursion.

It was a good two-hour drive from the port to the museum and cemeteries at El Alamein, which was a good chance to see what the countryside is like. Amazingly, it's almost one big building site, with one resort after another going up along Egypt's the north coast.

What was even more surprising was that they were all called Marina, which must be very confusing if you are trying to find your way back one evening, and that they all looked deserted. I know it is out of season - the chill wind bore testament to that - but there was no sign of life at all. To be honest, the area anyway looked so bleak, I can't imagine who would want to go and stay there.

That bleakness, without the hotels, is what met our army during the war. It's hard to think what the young lads must have thought about being stationed in an area many had probably never even heard of.

First stop on the excursion was El Alamein Military Museum, where there are displays of what life was like and some of the weapons that were salvaged. It was all done at a bit of a gallop, but was interesting, and then it was on to the British cemetery, where a wreath was laid and a prayer said for the people who died.

Some 7,367 men from Britain, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Greece, France and Malaysia are buried in the Commonwealth cemetery, which is beautifully looked after by the War Graves Commission; another 11,900 are names on the wall because their bodies were never found. It's a very moving sight. 

By now the wind was whistling across the cemetery so hard that we were almost blown back to the coach. "It's not usually like this," Farouk, our assistant guide, assured me (in Egypt, everyone comes in pairs, which is a brilliant way of keeping unemployment at a minimum).

Mind you, when he picked me up from the hotel that morning he said it was going to get into the 80s!

Two hours later I was back on board Minerva and at 6pm that evening, we sailed out of the port at Aexandria, leaving Egypt and on the way to Libya.

That's it for land-based blogs from me for a few days as I'm off to join Swan Hellenic's Minerva for a cruise around Libya.

I'm visiting three ports in Libya - Benghazi, Al Khums and Tripoli - then Corfu, Delos and Myknos in Greece, before flying home from Athens.

Remember to keep checking back as, Internet willing, I'll be posting details every day about the ship and the sights including Leptis Magna and Sabratha.

Royal Caribbean International has finally rolled its My Time Dining scheme out fleet-wide, allowing passengers to escape the evening shackles of old and eat when they want while sitting with whom they want.

They've been trialing the scheme since early last year on selected ships, apparently keen to avoid mistakes made by other lines (I'm mentioning no names) where passengers opting the new flexible system couldn't get a table in the restaurant.

So what a surprise to see they are allowing guests who don't want to take their chances with being flexible to make bookings as that proved one of the big mistakes!

Unusually passengers can register for My Time Dining on board if they wish. Most other cruiselines require you to decide in advance so they can manage numbers.

Less surprising is that My Time diners have to prepay gratuities. It's the way Royal wants everyone to go. Which comes back to that thorny one when is a tip not a tip question.

Naturally fixed dining is still available for those who prefer the Soviet system of being told when to eat and who they have to be friends with.

There is also a new My Family Time Dining scheme, which promises to get children aged 3-11 fed, watered and back to the kids club in 45 minutes (escorted by a youth counsellor) so parents can eat undisturbed and the youngsters don't have to learn the art of dining out.

I'm not sure why mums and dads don't just take kids who want a quick meal to the self-service. Or is it just too much trouble for them?

A few weeks ago I posted a few pictures of Golden Princess, stripped bare and definitely not looking her usual elegant self.

Well after three weeks hard labour for the shipyard workers in British Columbia, the ship has re-emerged with a host of Princess Cruises latest signature features, including an adults-only Sanctuary and piazza-style atrium.

I've seen it happen loads of times, but the transformation in such a short time is amazing. You can check out the new-look Golden Princess here.

The ship is now back in action and cruising in Alaska.

I was intrigued by news of a "no hidden extras" cruise on Marco Polo from Tilbury to the Norwegian fjords over the May Bank Holiday. Had they suddenly become all inclusive?

Actually, the news was that there are no gratuities to pay. Which is not really news as tips are always covered on Marco Polo.

It's still a great deal - from £549 for an inside cabin and £649 per person for a room with a view for an eight-night cruise. That's less than £70 or just over £80 a day, depending which cabin you go for, including all meals, entertainment and the tips.

You will have to pay if you want something to drink or want to take an excursion. But now you know, they are not hidden!

One of the most unusual sights on Minerva are the inflatable Zodiacs that adorn the top deck of the ship. They've not been used on this Swan Hellenic trip around Egypt and Libya, but they are an essential piece of kit when the ship relocates to Antarctica for winter as they are the only means of getting ashore in the White Continent.

Minerva will be back there this winter - if you book now there are still cabins for £2,995 per person for departure in December, and that's with all flights, transfers, meals and drinks included - but it then joins the procession of ships that are quitting Antarctica.

Sister line Voyages of Discovery and Saga's Swan look-alike Spirit of Adventure are both pulling out of the White Continent this winter and sailing instead to the Far East, while Hurtigruten is cutting back to having one ship there.

Destinations do fall in and out of fashion, and it could be Antarctica has had its day for a while, but I wonder whether it's not also getting very difficult - and too expensive - to operate there, just as Alaska, which is also seeing a mass exodus of ships at the moment.

The environmentalists are keen to see all the cruise ships leave Antarctica, the US has been talking about tighter regulations and there has been a spate of potentially serious accidents recently, not least when Gap Adventures' Explorer hit ice and sank in November 2007.

A note I've had in my cabin about 2010 itineraries says the plans is for winter Minerva to sail to India and the Far East in winter 2010/11 - as I said, destinations come in and out of fashion and right now the east is hot stuff.

So hot, that Royal Caribbean International has not only decided that Brilliance of the Seas will stay in Dubai for a second season in winter 2010/11 - this before it has even completed one season cruising the Gulf states - but has added two 12-night itineraries that will be calling at Mumbai, Mormugao and Cochin in India.

Having just been to all three ports with Silversea, I admit to being more than a little intrigued by what Royal passengers will make of them. And indeed what the locals will make of Royal passengers.

But back to Swan. Before Minerva embarks on its as-yet-not-finalised Far East tour, it will be spending summer 2010 back in the Med and Northern Europe, sailing from Dover, which is good news for anyone not keen on flying.

The ship will be back in Libya in May and November; in July there's a lovely (if, like me, you love France) French Vintage cruise, with five ports in France including an overnight in Bordeaux; in September, there's a Venetian Republic cruise from Naples that includes a transit of the Corinth Canal. I've never been through but the pictures of ships going through with inches to spare fascinate me.

Minerva will also be making a return visit to Jeddah, in Saudi Arabia, as Minerva sails from Aqaba to Dubai. I suspect the rules and regulations there - and the much stricter alcohol policy - will make Libya look like chicken feed.

You can find out more at Swan's website or call reservations on 01444 462 180 for more information.

Nearly 48 hours after leaving Tripoli, Minerva reached Greece yesterday, tying up in Heraklion, Crete, just before lunchtime. Today's blog should have been all about Knossos, which was the main attraction we all trooped off to see.

My coach started with around 20 people; by the end of the tour we had dwindled to seven as people got bored, fed up, older passengers were unable to cope with the steps and so on. Back on the coach I overheard the woman behind me say: "So that was Knossos; I won't be going there again."

I stuck with the tour through to the bitter end, sure there must be something really good lurking around one of the corners, but I think we had all been so spoilt on this Swan Hellenic cruise by the wonderful sights in Libya.

So I will just say Knossos is the site of an old Minoan palace, destroyed in the 14th-century BC, when the Minoans - who came from the Middle East - also died out, and tell you instead some more about the passengers on board Minerva.

There are 347 of us - including the lecturers and their wives - so the ship is pretty full (it holds a maximum of 352).

I have met one other Hebridean refugee - regulars readers will remember I was supposed to visit Libya last month on what as then called Hebridean International Cruises, before the company sold the ship - and she tells me there is at least one other couple who were saved by Swan, possibly a few others but we have not found them.

Most of the people I've met are charming, well-cruised and well-travelled sorts, quite elderly, but I heard tonight there is a couple on their honeymoon.

Many have only ever cruised with Swan Hellenic and have no desire to try another line; a few are happy to shop around. Some have been on since Mombasa and came through Pirate Alley; this morning I met a couple who have been on for seven weeks, since Minerva left Cape Town in South Africa.

Another couple I met today were on a Spirit of Adventure cruise I did around South Africa a couple of years ago (SoA, by the way, is a Swan lookalike, started by Saga, but for all ages, when it looked like Swan would disappear for ever).

We were happily reminiscing about the day we were supposed to visit Durban, but it was so rough that the pilot, who risked all to get on board, had to be winched off by helicopter. We never got to Durban and finally ended up in Maputo, in Mozambique, which I now feel able to happily strike from "must-visit" list (note - actually if you never go there it won't be a great loss!).

As Walt says: "It's a small world after all."

This morning Minerva docked in Tripoli for the third and final call to Libya on this Ancient Wonders cruise on Swan Hellenic.

The excursion options today were between Sabratha, another ancient Roman city, or the Jamahiriya Museum in Tripoli. There was also a coach transfer to the city, to spend a couple of hours in the medina.

That last option was tempting, but I was finaly won over by the thought of seeing the theatre at Sabratha. It was rebuilt by the Italians between 1926 and 1936, is still used for concerts (Mussolini attended the first one in the reconstructed theatre in 1937) and is simply stunning.

As I saw it for the first time I was reminded of my Ephesus moment, when I saw the façade of the ancient library there for the first time, and the fact that it was reconstructed as opposed to having survived the centuries did nothing to detract from it for me.

Our guide Toriq explained that the three levels were for the different roles being played by actors. If they were playing gods, they were at the top, if they were emperors they were in the middle and ordinary folk were at the bottom.

The centuries have not been as kind to Sabratha as they were to Leptis Magna and you do need to use quite a bit of imagination (and Toriq's books) to picture things as they were.

For instance, this was the main road in Roman times, stretching from Carthage in Tunisia to Alexandria in Egypt. About 3,000km. Not quite the M25 is it?

Now that we have left, here are some final thoughts about Libya.

It was somewhere I'd always wanted to go, to see the ancient Roman sights, and I was certainly not disappointed. The sights were wonderful, and I was also very impressed by the guides, who all spoke good English and really knew their stuff, and by the coaches, which all had air-con (sometimes too much) and were in far better condition than many I've been on in America.

Mind you, they obviously haven't got many as the same coaches and drivers - and actually the guides as well - were at each port.

It is incredible - and amazing - that at all these ancient sites you can clambour over the remains to get that perfect picture and touch the mosaics and no one tells you off! It's so very refreshing.

But there are some frustrations. The delay I mentioned in Benghazi was caused by the authorities insisting everyone on the ship - passengers and crew - have their temperature taken to make sure we were not harbouring swine flu.

That's fine, but the helpful thing would have been for the immigration lot to clear the passport side of things while the medics did their bit. It seems that was asking too much. As a result, my feet did not touch Libyan soil until 1.20pm that day - more than four hours after we had docked.

Once we were back at sea, Hugh Leslie, our cruise director, thanked us all for our cooperation with the medical checks and said the chief medic had said "only the British" would have submitted to that in such good humour. Was it a test or am I being too cynical?

Also, because Libya is a strict Muslim country with no alcohol allowed, bars have to be locked while ships are in port. At least that's the theory. In practise, anything can happen.

In Benghazi they allowed the bars to open, in Al Khums they not only had to be locked but stay shut for the overnight cruise to Tripoli, and only open again once our ropes were cast and we were away from the land.

The no-alcohol rule is hardly a problem, but I can see it would annoy less-tolerant people than the lot on this cruise - and of course it's not great for cruiselines that rely heavily on sales of booze.

It's a fabulous destination, but ready to take its place on the cruising map? I don't think so. It's been hard work for the shorex team on Minerva so full marks to them for getting it all sorted - and still smiling at the end of the day!

I've only heard passengers on this Swan Hellenic cruise around Libya moan about two things so far.

Many are missing Minerva II, the ship which replaced the one we are on now when Swan was owned by Carnival. It's an interesting turnaround, as on my last cruise with Swan, in June last year, Minerva II was almost a dirty word.

And just as many - the men, I should add - are really fed up they didn't spot a single pirate coming through the Gulf of Aden.

Somehow I don't think they are joking either. "A bit like going to Antarctica and not seeing any penguins," one whispered to me.

I have visions of them all with walking sticks at the ready (hopefully not the chairs and tables on the pool deck, as used by the passengers on MSC Melody, as there are not enough to go around as it is), ready to fend off any bandits.

That's the kind of spirit that made Britain great!

Judging by the comments on the coach, today's visit to Leptis Magna was not just a dream come true for me. "I've been wanting to come for so many years," one passenger told me later. "Fabulous."

That one word just about sums up Leptis Magna, in the city of Al Khums, about 15 minutes by coach from where Minerva tied up this morning for our second stop in Libya on this Ancient Wonders cruise with Swan Hellenic.

Today there was no messing about with the Libyan authorities and we were off the ship within 30 minutes of the scheduled time and on site before 9.30am, which gave us a whole morning to do justice to the place.

It's an enormous site, founded by Phoenicians, once ruled from Carthage and finally Roman (that's the very abbreviated version, by the way, because I got very lost somewhere in the 4th century BC).

It became a colony of Rome in 109AD but really shot to prominence in 193, when Lucius Septimius Severus, who came from Leptis, became Emperor of Rome, and set about turning his home town into a city to rival any other along the North African coast.

What's so amazing about this place is how much has survived the centuries and attacks, first by the Vandals and then by the Berbers.

Our visit started at the baths, where there are the usual hot, cold and tepid rooms, all once covered head to toe in marble and heated by the fuel produced from the residue of olive oil manufacture, according to our guide Ziad, and what must be the most public public loo in the world, with seating for 70 people.

In front of the toilets there is a channel with clean water for washing - except just how clean it was after 70 people had been using it is anyone guess.

From there we walked through the sports ground, past the Nymphaeum, where once there was a fountain (water, nymphs, geddit?), into the colonnaded street, once lined with covered shops, and then into the Forum - a huge area measuring 60 metres by 100 metres and in Roman times with two storeys.

We also visited the Severan Basilica, the harbour (experts reckon it was only just finished when the 365AD earthquake hit so was actually never used), the market and the spectacular theatre. This is me in the plebs' seats!

Apparently the 1957 film Legend of the Lost, starring Sophia Loren and John Wayne, was filmed in Leptis Magna and gives a good picture of what it looked like before all the statues were removed for safe keeping. I suggest Blockbuster dusts off its copies as there'll be a rush on when we all get home next week.

What was almost as interesting as the ruins was the number of locals milling around the site. There were teenagers hanging out and what seemed like hundreds of school kids, all smiles and laughing, who were definitely more interested in trying out their English on us than learning too much about the history.

I was also enthralled by the immaculately-dressed traffic cops stationed at the busy junctions between the ship and Leptis Magna. At one junction, he had our coach and two cars to cope with. On leaving the site, I noticed three cars had been halted to allow us to pull out.

A tough job but someone has to do it!

You've got to hand it to MSC Cruises for a worthy attempt at putting a positive spin on the fact they have changed course and will now be cruising up the west coast of Africa to avoid another encounter with the Somali pirates.

MSC Melody was attacked by pirates last month; a potentially serious incident was averted thanks to the quick thinking of a few passengers who spotted the bandits trying to board the ship and threw deck chairs and tables at them.

To avoid another such incident, MSC Sinfonia will be sailing "exciting" (so the missive says) new itineraries around West Africa, calling at Morocco, Senegal and Namibia.

I gather gather sand-boarding in Namibia is good fun but none can replace the amazing sights in Jordan, Yemen and Egypt that you visit by cruising though the Gulf of Aden.

Be interesting to know what the passengers think, especially after meeting the gung-ho lot on Swan Hellenic who were so disappointed to have sailed through Pirate Alley and not seen a single miscreant. I'd say that was the Brits for you, except for this report on Silversea's venture through the pirate-infested waters.

While on the subject of wind, this excerpt from a review on Cruise.co.uk is for all those who dismissed my qualms at the thought of crossing the Bay of Biscay in rough weather on Royal Caribbean's Independence of the Seas when it starts its winter cruises from Southampton.

For the largest cruise ship in the world surprised at the lack of stability in rough weather. Whether this was the result of an economy measure or cruise schedule in not utilizing the ships stabilisers which adds to the fuel consumption and slows progress, is not clear, as there was very little feed back by the Captain or ships crew. By the end of the cruise the ship looked like a hospital ship by the number of walking wounded.

You know who you are!

So that's it. It's official. The first vessel in the new TUI Cruises fleet really is called Mein Schiff (my ship), a moniker chosen in a "name-that-ship" contest. And it's painted large on the side, just so no one forgets.

TUI Cruises, which is aimed at the German market (guess the name gives that away), is a joint venture between Royal Caribbean Cruises and TUI AG.

Mein Schiff, which holds 1,914 passengers, was the former Celebrity Galaxy. It's had a 38-day makeover and will be sailing the Baltic this summer, and from Santo Domingo in the Dominican Republic in winter.

My question is, what happens if they add another vessel. Does it become Mein Schiff Zwei? Or Mein Anderer Schiff? We could start the contest now.

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I disembarked Swan Hellenic's ship Minerva - high time for my final thoughts about my cruise around Libya.

The one thing I didn't mention much in my daily blogs was the crew, so I will make up for that first. They are a lovely crowd, friendly, courteous and always willing to stop for a chat if they have time.

I must single out Bella, my room stewardess, from Odessa in the Ukraine, who was so caring and thoughtful - ordering me a few nibbles when she knew I was having drinks in my cabin, worrying about my wereabouts when she spotted my cabin was empty late at night, after the excursion to Cyrene.

I was actually in the library, one of the only wi-fi hot spots on the ship, posting blogs and sorting emails; she had visions of me still on the quay in Benghazi!

Also, apart from tidying a few clothes, she left my things were I'd put them. How annoying is it when you put your suncream or toothpaste in one place and they move it, or they keep tidying papers you have carefully put in separate piles into one stack.

There are too many crew to mention every one I came into contact with, but I will also single out Kennedy, the assistant maitre d' in the Veranda self-service, who was so concerned about my well-being on the day we hit bad weather, and Michael, in the bar, who kindly served a drink late one night in the library (see above!) while I was working - and had the sense to come back later and ask if I'd like another!

The excursion team also did a great job, smoothly disembarking everyone at each port deck by deck to avoid queues at the gangway - but always varying the order so everyone got a chance to go first - and being on hand at each site to get passengers on the next coach to get back to the ship. It's a slick operation and usually means very little hanging around.

Excursions, which are mostly included in the price (there are a few that cost extra, but very reasonably priced), are an important part of the whole Swan experience so getting these right is vital. And they do, in spades.

The open dining in the evening is also important for Swans, as it means they can move around tables, meeting new people, or just go down for dinner as a group one night. The food overall was fine, but not great. There were moans about it, but to be honest what was on the plate was always far less important than the conversation going on around it.

Last but by no means least, Swan would not be Swan without its lectures. There were three on the sea days and they often managed to sneak one in an afternoon if we left a port early.

As a very rough generalisation, I would say from my conversations with other passengers that almost everyone goes to the lectures when they first get on board, then the numbers slowly start to fall so the room is full rather than packed.

I did watch a few and one or two were of interest, but personally I found the presentation dry. Full of facts, but assuming a level of knowledge that I for one did not have when it came to the ancient civilisations, and lacking any light and dark. My solution, as I mentioned before, was to watch in my cabin so I could turn over if things got too dull.

On the positive side, you could always get a seat in the sun around the pool during the lectures - the trick was to hang on to it when the talks were over!

Libya itself, which was the reason I was on this specific cruise, was magic, with amazing sights and friendly locals - the school kids at Leptis Magna especially were enthralled to see so many tourists. Even the immigration people had a smile and hello if you bothered to greet them.

If you ever get a chance, do go. It won't be like that forever.

It was another day of wind and rain - and even hail - in Norway yesterday, but everyone on Ventura was being very British about it, dusting down our stiff upper lips and bringing out the rain coats and umbrellas that have been as vital to the packing as the formal gear on this cruise of the Norwegian fjords.

This being Norway, the weather could have gone either way. Captain Keith Dowds was really delighted when the pilot bade him farewell the other night with the words, you should be here next week, when apparently a ridge of high pressure is on its way.

"I really didn't want to hear that!" the captain admitted, having just had to cancel our call to Alesund due to high winds.

It's not just that bad weather upsets plans - and stomachs - but it can also be very costly. About a dozen coaches, each with a driver and guide, were waiting for our arrival into Alesund that never was. They still have to be paid, but not with passengers' money as the cost of the missed excursions had to be refunded. And then there were the extra port fees for Olden.

As I forecast - actually it was supposed to be in jest - a few people have tried the "I only came on this cruise for Alesund" trick to try to get some money back. I think they have been told where to go, politely of course. This is P&O after all.

Stavanger, the last port on this P&O Cruises voyage, turned out to be an sweet little town (well actually it's the fourth largest city in Norway), but fairly dripping money thanks to the oil and gas industries.

My daughter got very excited when she found an H&M and Mango, but instead of allowing her time for shopping, we dragged her off on a boat excursion along the Lysefjord to see the Pulpit Rock (that's the one high above a fjord, open on three sides, always pictured with people sunning themselves on the top).

There were a few disappointed faces when we finally reached the rock (it's the one with the flat top to the right of the picture). Did we really get so wet to see something so small?

No matter. It was a nice trip through the scenic islands around Stavanger and we also got to see three goats that live on a patch of grass at the foot of the rock (I never quite worked out why they were there) and so close to a waterfall that they filled a jug and handed around cups of water for us to taste.

We arranged our boat trip ashore, but P&O does sell excusions to the Lysefjord and Pulpit Rock. I see their excursion booklet warns the rock will look small because it's such a long way up. Just proves you should always read the small print!

Back on Ventura, the ropes were cast and we headed back out to the North Sea for the return run to Southampton.

Last night, after my first dinner in the dining room, I just caught Elton John and Dusty Springfield performing in the Havana Lounge. Not the real thing, you understand, but a couple of tribute acts. Elton, aka Jimmy Love, was actually quite good, Dusty, aka Maxine Mazumder, was blond, which was probably a good thing as just a couple of days before she had been Lulu.

Coincidentally, the real Lulu will be performing on Fred Olsen's Boudicca in November. I hope she is a little more authentic!

At 7.40 Monday morning, just as we were expecting to see the port of Alesund on this P&O Cruises' voyage around the Norwegian fjords, news came through from the captain that it was too windy to dock Ventura.

As the ship was shivering and shuddering and the sea was grey and stormy, I was not too sorry to hear his next announcement - we were going into Olden, our next port, a day early and staying overnight. As the town is down a long fjord, we would be in calm waters and protected from the worst of the wind by the high mountains on either side.

Needless to say, my teenage daughter managed to sleep though the announcements, even though they were made into the cabin. When she finally came to soon after 9.30, she was a little baffled that there was no sign of land out the window.

I brought her up to date on the day's news, adding that while there didn't seem much to see in Alesund, I was quite sorry not be going there because "sometimes it's nice to see new things even f they are not interesting".

"A bit like Fujairah really," she said, smiling, remembering they were the words of the receptionist on Costa Victoria when we were cruising the Arabian Gulf in January.

I'm now just waiting for the first compensation claims from passengers on the grounds they "only came on this cruise because they wanted to go to Alesund".

It's a shame the weather has turned on us as yesterday in Bergen was quite pleasant. We planned to take the funicular up to the top of Mount Floyen, to get a good view down over the town, but unfortunately half of Norway had the same plan (it was a Sunday) and after calculating we would queue for an hour for the seven-minute ride to the top, which was a little too disney-esque for my liking, we - daughter and partner - decided to walk.

So there we were, puffing our way up the hill while locals who looked twice our age came sprinting past. It's back to the Wii Fit for me if I ever get home long enough!

The views from Mount Floyen were stunning, as was the price of a drink at the top - £7 for a 40cl beer. "You'll have to stick to drinking on the ship," Mark said. A pint on Ventura costs £2.90.

Of course, Norway is renowned for its expensive booze, but I did a piece in the Telegraph recently proving that across Europe it's cheaper to drink on board than ashore now the value of sterling has fallen through the floor.

The cruise lines must be rubbing their hands with glee!

After a fleeting glimpse of home last Friday - about three hours! - I left again, this time bound for Southampton and a one-week cruise to the Norwegian fjords on P&O Cruises Ventura.

It promised to be a bit of a shock. Temperatures in New York had been in the early 80s; the Norway weather forecast was for fleeces and raincoats weather. Well it is only the end of May!

Ventura was berthed at Southampton's new Ocean Terminal. "It's where Titantic sailed from back in 1912," I told a passenger in the lift as we got on board. "I don't think that's what people want to hear," my daughter whispered as we got out.

The terminal is very spacious, inside and out, which means the meet-and-greet parking works much better than it did at the Mayflower terminal, but the passenger flow is poor.

There must be at least 20 check-in desks, but all the checked-in people then have to get through just five security scanners, which created long queues. All the scanned passengers then had to get past one man on the gangway checking they were in possession of a ship's card, which created yet another bottleneck.

We finally made it to the cabin in time to pick up our lifejackets and exit again for the lifeboat drill. Strangely, our muster station was the corridor outside East, the Asian restaurant, which was fine for most of us, but I spotted a few elderly people with walking difficulties who were desperate to sit down.

Day one was spent crossing the dreaded North Sea. Dreaded? It was like a mill pond and there was even some sunshine in the morning, although it was several degrees too cold for me to think of sitting outside. Nevertheless, I did venture out and up to deck 19 to have a go at the bungee trampoline.

Unlike when I did it last July, there were quite a few kids (and adults!) queuing for their turn, and others trying their hand at juggling and stilt walking, which was good to see. I still didn't quite manage to do a somersault - a rather scary move that involved having to throw yourself backwards.

"Try later in the cruise, after you've had another go," Nicole, from the Circus School, suggested. I smiled and nodded but she has got to be joking!

Yesterday I made a great discovery on Queen Mary 2 - the Canyon Ranch Spa. It's the only Canyon Ranch spa at sea and there was a real friendliness and genuine helpfulness on the front deck that seems to be missing in the ubiquious Elemis spas. Put it another way, I felt like a customer rather than a moving dollar sign.

Actually I wasn't going to have a treatment as it is very expensive, especially with the poor £ to $ exchange rate (all prices on QM2 are charged in dollars), but I couldn't resist the Thai massage.

As it was, it turned out to be a good choice, first because it came up as one of yesterday's daily offers so I saved $36, second because the masseur, Jintana, who trained in Bangkok, was very good, bending my legs into positions I would never have thought possible.

"Your neck is in knots," Jintana told me. After bearing the pain of her pressure, all the time telling myself it was doing me good, I had worked that out. I did feel good afterwards though.

On the issue of cost, one thing that did impress me was that all prices include a 10% gratuity (although like all bills on here there is space to leave another tip, maybe hoping people won't have read that it is included).

It's far more honest than one cruiseline I know that lists one price but slaps on a mandatory gratuity (and nothing so reasonable or easy to calculate as 10%). As you have no choice but to pay, surely that is the price that should be in the brochure?

As I had bought a treatment, I was entitled to one day's free access to the aqua therapy pool and thermal suite, where I cooked nicely in the steam room, herbal sauna and ordinary sauna. There's also a quiet relaxation room with views out to sea - or there would have been except we were sailing in low mist the whole day.

"We did see some dolphins earlier," a couple I knew from dinner with the hotel manager a few nights ago told me. They had been looking for a quiet place with a view so they had paid $40 each for a day pass to the thermal suite (there's also a three-day pass for $75 and a five-day one for $95).

"It was free when we cruised on Celebrity," they added, a bit miffed at having to pay so much just for somewhere to sit away from the grey skies and wind (the indoor pool was packed, apparently). I tried to mollify them by telling them that most lines charge for the thermal suite these days as it's a nice little earner.

And judging by the number of people in there yesterday, they were earning very nicely. Miserable weather must be manna from heaven for them.

I'm lucky enough to be crossing the Atlantic in one of Queen Mary 2's Princess Grill suites. That's not quite the top spot - there are Queens Grill suites passengers above me, but it's still a nice position to be in.

It's not the biggest stateroom I've ever had - that honour has to go to the fabulous Owner's Suite I had on Silversea - but it is spacious and there is more storage space than I have in my bedroom at home, with a walk-in closet, two big wardrobes and plenty of shelves.

My selection of clothes looks very meagre (I'm keeping the closet door shut in the hope the room steward won't see!) but I'm only on board for a week; for the world cruise passengers could be on for four months.

On one wall there's a glass cabinet that is, surprise, surprise, full of glasses. I am intrigued to know what happens to them in rough weather but honestly am happy never to find out!

There is also a lovely big sofa, a rubber strip all around the sill of the stateroom door so it closes with a sort of sigh rather than slamming - a great touch - and joy of joys, no net curtain. Actually that's not quite true. There is one, but my room steward, Reneboy, has never closed it, for which I am very grateful.

I've never understood why you pay huge amounts of money for cabins with sea views, only for the view to be obscured by a piece of net. In fact, my first task on entering a cabin with a net curtain is to tuck it out of the way.

The best room stewards - for which read Bella in Swan Hellenic's Minerva - catch on and leave them open, but most just operate on auto-pilot and shut them as trained.

There was a bottle of fizz waiting in the cabin to welcome me on board and bottled water is provided free, which are both nice touches.

But there are also some disappointments with the cabin. I have a chunky TV, and no DVD, rather than the sleek new flat-screen model I would expect in a ship that sells itself as luxury.

"I suppose it's a problem if you want to spend your time watching DVDs," one of my table companions said disdainfully. Actually I don't - I've not even had time to put on the TV these past two days - but it's a question of expectations. And again, Cunard is pitching itself in the luxury market.

Also, while I have no end of wine glasses, there is no corkscrew. I had to call room service for one and it arrived with incredible speed on a silver tray. I asked the waitress whether she wanted to do the honours, but she apologised and said she didn't open bottles. Luckily, it is one of my skills.

Neither is there a stopper to keep an opened bottle of wine fresh, which seems especially strange to me given I use one at home with "Cunard" written on the top.

Some nice plump pillows on the bed would be nice too. I have four rather deflated ones that are so small they can all fit abreast across the double bed.

"They are a rather small, but at least as we are cruising alone we can stack them up to make a back rest for reading in bed," Edward, a fellow single traveller, told me. He is one of 500 so-called in-transit passengers, out of about 2,450 people on board, which is a rather strange term used to mean they are doing a return transatlantic crossing.

He's right, of course, but it's not quite the same as sinking into a stack of deep, soft pillows like you do on other less classy ships. I wait to hear news of a refurb! 

It's always interesting to listen in on other people's conversations, especially when they turn to cruising.

This morning I forgot to take my single traveller's companion - my book - to breakfast so I had nothing to do but listen in as the other two couples in the alcove I was in started talking about Queen Mary 2 and QE2.

The alcoves, by the way, are along each side of the self-service restaurant on Queen Mary 2. They are a pain when you are trying to find a table because you have to stick your head right inside to see if there is space and if there isn't you have to go to the next one. And all the while your food is going cold.

Of course there are other tables but I do like the alcoves because they have a seaview and are quiet and feel very private, away from the usual self-service clatter. Of course that privacy also means it is almost impossible not to overhear conversations, book or no book.

Neither couple had been on Queen Mary 2 but the American duo had cruised with Cunard on QE2. "Did you prefer QE2," British wife asked, making a wild assumption because a couple they had met last night said QE2 was a much nicer ship.

"Oh no," American husband replied. "It was so noisy, creaking and vibrating. This is so peaceful I even forgot I was on a ship last night."

I have to concur, at least in how quiet the ship is. Despite its size, it's also very friendly - people say hello when they pass on the stairs or in the alleyways, complete strangers start chatting at meal times (especially in those alcoves) and in the lift.

I met one woman today who was over the moon to discover the shop allows passengers to take garments to their cabins to try on. "They think I'm going to buy it," she said.

It struck me as a reasonable assumption, but I suspect they might be disappointed!

After a whole two days at home, I was off again - this time back to New York to join Cunard's Queen Mary 2 for a transatlantic cruise back to the UK.

Surprise number one. I got in a cab at JFK Airport and asked for the cruise terminal in Brooklyn, only for the taxi driver to ask me where it was. I replied that I was kind-of hoping he would know, but said I did remember it was near Brooklyn Bridge.

Thanks to heavy traffic and several wrong turns, what should have been a $40-ish ride, according to a piece of paper thrust in my hand at the airport, the meter ran up $70. "I never even knew this was here and now I do," the driver enthused. Rather wish it had not been at my expense.

Surprise number two was that on boarding (an incredible 15 minutes from walking into the terminal to walking onto the ship, which has to be a record), there was no one escorting passengers to their cabins - or staterooms, as Cunard likes to call them.

I actually like finding my own way but I had expected ranks of crew waiting to show passengers the way given Cunard prides itself on being so traditional.

Over the next week, internet willing, I will be reporting back from the ship as well as keeping an eye on other things happening in the world of cruising, so keep checking back.

A lot has changed on Ventura since I was on the ship in July 2008 - all of it for the better, I'm pleased to say.

I must admit I decided to have another cruise on Ventura with slight trepidation. Sure, P&O told me they had ironed out the problems they were having with Freedom dining and sunbeds (or lack of them), but then they would say they wouldn't they?

The bags in the cabin and lifeboat drill over, my first test was to go to a bar and ask for a drink. Do you know what? The barman served me in a twinkling of an eye. The nonsense where all drinks orders had to go through a bar steward, causing huge delays in service, has gone.

It may sound trivial, but actually when you want a drink with your meal, which I like, and the drink only arrives after the food is eaten, which happened last time I was on board, it does matter.

Incidentally, if you did order a drink from a bar steward this time, the drinks turned up promptly and with a smile, which also never happened before.

I also smiled when I ordered a drink from Melvin, dived for my cruise card and he said, "don't worry, I remember your details from yesterday". I was on a ship with 3,337 other passengers remember. How impressive is that!

Freedom dining - or rather the lack of it - was a big problem when I was on Ventura last time. In a nutshell, it's supposed to mean you can eat in the dining room at a time that suits you, on a table with your nearest and dearest or sharing with other people if you want.

In practice, getting a table in the Freedom dining restaurant was like looking for hens' teeth, largely because so many passengers booked tables every evening, which somewhat negated the freedom aspect of the whole thing.

You had to eat either very early or very late, which didn't suit, so as a result, on a two-week cruise my family and I ate in the main dining room just four times.

Actually we didn't do much better this time, only making it down there once on the seven-night cruise, but this time it wasn't because we couldn't get a table but because we discovered the Beach House Diner.

This is a new - and free - evening-only waiter-service restaurant P&O has created on one side of the Beach House self-service to help take pressure off the Freedom dining restaurant and it is brilliant.

The menu includes chicken wings, potato skins, chicken tikka masala, ribs, sizzling chicken and plain old fish and chips - all tasty stuff, cooked fresh and served hot.

We discovered it the first evening, when we dined there almost alone; by the last evening of the cruise it was packed and they were having to issue bleepers to alert diners when a table was ready. "It'll be 15-20 minutes," we were told. Actually, it went off in less than 10 minutes - so fast we were still deciding what drink to order in Metropolis, an über-popular bar at the aft end of the ship.

That evening we had been intending to eat in the dining room, but hearing there was a 15-20 minutes was the excuse we all wanted to change plans and head upstairs to the diner, where we were happy to put up with the small delay.

It's not that there was anything wrong with the food in the dining room, but the diner is just so much more relaxed and the menu less fussy. And I do like my food served hot.

Other notable changes include waiter-service breakfast in The White Room for suite passengers to take pressure off the buffet - it was very nice but the service was desperately slow - and staff in the self-service are no longer causing a bottleneck by insisting on handing out trays, plates and cutlery.

At lunchtime on the last day we treated ourselves to tapas in Las Ramblas. It costs £2.50 for three dishes but the food was so good last time we had to go back.

This time, the experience was made even better by Sid Real, from the Philippines, who is a wine waiter in the evening but was helping out in Las Ramblas during the day and took time to chat with us between serving our drinks and food.

"Have you noticed what's missing in here?" he asked. I looked around, but saw nothing. "Spanish brandy," he said triumphantly. "We have Spanish beer, but no Spanish brandy. People are always asking for it."

I pass the message on.

People celebrating birthdays on cruises usually have to make do with a cake and rather tuneless happy birthday to you from the crew at the dinner table, but Dorothy Dick is a bit special.

Not only did she celebrate her 90th birthday on Hebridean Island Cruises' Hebridean Princess, but it was her 33rd cruise with the cruiseline. That makes her a very important person. So she was presented with a Harley Crossley print of the ship and a card signed by all the crew.

Here she is with the Captain Michael Hepburn, chief officer James Forbes Simpson, assistant purser Valeria Semina and chief purser Dave Indge.

It's been a few days since I disembarked Queen Mary 2 in Southampton so it's time for some last thoughts about the ship.

I still find it strange to reflect that it took me seven hours to get to New York and five days at sea to get back to the UK, with no sign of land at all. "Is this the view all the way," one of the passengers mused at breakfast on the first morning, while looking out at the horizon. I said I thought it probably was. He didn't look overly impressed.

On first walk-about, QM2 is a confusing ship, especially if you are a regular cruiser, because nothing is where it should be. But it all soon falls into place.

The self-service, always aft on one of the top decks on modern ships, is on deck seven and mid-ships because the Princess and Queens Grill restaurants - these are the ones for the higher-paying passengers - are aft.

Likewise, the theatre isn't at the front of the ship; instead there is a huge another part of the ship forward of the theatre containing the Planetarium.

I watched three different shows there - they are free but you should pick up tickets in the morning to guarantee a seat - and loved them. Didn't always follow the narrative - at one showing in particular the snoring man in front kept grabbing my attention! - but the effects were great, planets whizzing about the dome, collisions, explosions and so on.

A bit of rough weather (which thankfully we didn't have) and you'd think you were at a theme park.

The show was only marred by the ridiculous safety warnings broadcast at the start of each show. I could just about live with the spiel about locating the emergency exits (but they don't ask you to do that when in the theatre, self-service, dining room, etc) but what was the bit about banging your leg on a protruding table as you leave the seat all about?

There was very little chance anyway. Intrigued to find this table, I fumbled about but couldn't even get it to come out of its slot at the side of the seat. And I tried each time I went to the show.

Before you get the idea I am really sad, I should add you have to do something to pass the time while passengers bumble around trying to work out what "sit in the red seats" means! "How difficult is it," the exasperated guy in charge said under his breath - or it should have been but I'm sure I wasn't the only one who heard him.

Illuminations, the room which houses the Planetarium, was also used for the lectures, which were the best I've seen on a ship. Interesting subjects and well presented by people who really knew their stuff.

I went to three presentations by film historian Barry Brown, who had brought lots of wonderful old film clips to illustrate his lectures, and the one about the history and restoration of the Statue of Liberty by art historian and conservator Christine Rousell was the talk of the ship.

Apparently when Frenchman Frederic Bartholdi had this plan to build a colossal statue (that is the technical term), his plan was for it to stand at the entrance to the Suez Canal, but the Egyptians turned down the idea because it was too expensive. He then offered to America as a gesture of the friendship between France and the US.

Both countries had huge problems trying to raise money for the project, but finally they did, although it meant it was finished 10 years behind schedule, in 1886. Almost 100 years on some French engineers went up the statue and saw it was falling apart. Cue Christine and her team to set things right.

It took the best part of three years and $150 million but they did it. She said the crown is being reopened this summer but for just 30 people at a time. Expect long queues.

I was less enthralled with the art auctions - and so were all the other passengers if the lack of bidding was anything to go by. These events are so tacky I'm surprised they even have them on QM2. I was also surprised to see those awful car boot-type stalls set up in the corridors on a ship where, I was told, they carry guests, not passengers, in staterooms, not cabins. Oh and of course the ship is actually a liner.

It makes it all sound so sophisticated and refined, but you soon realise Cunard is only out to make money, money, money, just like any other line.

There are some big rooms, especially the Queens Room, where afternoon tea is served by waiters in white gloves (tradition, tradition) and all the dressy folk go to dance in the evening.

Another couple of surprises. When I went to the Queens Room one evening, they were holding a Miss Queen or some such competition. It was just not in keeping with the elegance of the room and the evening. Also, there are three formal nights on a six-night transatlantic crossing and most people do dress for the occasion - it's part of the Cunard thing - but there were quite a few who just didn't bother. And they got away with it.

The ship has lots of small bars, which gives QM2 a small ship feel. My favourite hangout was the Chart Room, a popular place thanks to the jazz band that played there every evening.

My biggest complaint about the ship was the dining. If you are in the standard class cabins you eat in Britannia Restaurant. Two sittings, set tables. Easy and traditional (that word again), as Cunard likes to be, but not really to my taste.

If you are in a Princess Grill cabin, as I was, you dine in the Princess Grill, if you are in the Queens Grill cabin your table is in the Queens Grill. Both are small restaurants, much more intimate than the Britannia. Easy so far, but crucially you don't have a set time to dine.

That normally works for me. Turn up, join others who have also just arrived and dine together. It's a nice social occasion. Ah, but that's not how it works here. Grills passengers are allocated a table so you could turn up just when the others are finishing eating, as happened to me the first evening.

It made for a very awkward dinner as they clearly felt it would be rude to leave me, but I felt equally unhappy eating while being watched and trying to make conversation.

I guess it was partly my fault as I was asked before the trip if I wanted to share a table or dine alone. So great. The other option would have been to dine on my own each night.

"It doesn't work because you are alone," the hotel manager David Stephenson told me. So there are no single passengers on the ship? I don't think so. Actually, the system wouldn't necessarily work for me if I was with a partner. Mine was a table for eight. I would not want to sit on a table of that size with just one other person either.

Luckily, it wasn't too much of an issue as I dined one night in Lotus - part of the self-service by day that becomes a waiter service Asian restaurant in the evening. The food was delicious.

The lovely maitre d' in the Princess Grill, Sandro Ranieri, also arranged for me and a companion to eat in Todd English one evening - $30 per head extra, but again the food was very good (had to take out a mortgage for a bottle of wine mind!) - and he also got me a table in the Queens Grill, which was actually just like the Princess Grill, except this time I was dining alone.

No matter. Osman Pinaroglu, the charming maitre d', came over regularly to see all was OK and the service was good, even though the waiters were rushed off their feet. The wine waiter was less impressed with me. I just browsed his menu to make a note of the prices. "You don't want to buy a bottle," he asked. Not at those prices I didn't.

It's lunchtime on my first day on Queen Mary 2 and I've picked some rather scrummy-looking Asian dishes from the Lotus, one of four sections in the King's Court self-service.

I find a table, sit down, taste the food and realise it needs some seasoning. Great. I've chosen a table without any salt or pepper pots. So I look at the neighbouring tables. No condiments on any of them.

I remember seeing chilli sauce at the servery yesterday afternoon. That will do, so I go to get some and what do I find? The salt and pepper. Not in pots, though, but small paper sachets, like you might expect in a cheap seaside cafe.

Most unimpressive for a luxury liner.

Apparently they have had to do that because the rather affluent people who think they are a bit special because they are cruising with Cunard (ah yes, I did come across a few of those during my transatlantic crossing) steal the salt and pepper pots (and anything else, given the chance).

"Do they have the Cunard logo on them," I ask David Stephenson, the hotel manager, thinking this might make it understandable, if still a bit tawdry. But no. They are ordinary, cheap pots - cheap especially after they discovered they kept going walkies.

I was assured more would be delivered to the ship when it docked in Southampton the next day. I wonder if they were.

Saga Rose will be saying a very long goodbye as she prepares to leave the Saga fleet in October. Like QE2, the ship falls foul of new SOLAS regulations that come in on October 1 next year. Saga had the choice of spending shed-loads of money to make it compliant (assuming it was even possible) or getting rid of it.

Saga decided it had to go.

The first farewell is to Dover, from where the ship will sail today for the last time, cruising to Guernsey, the Isles of Scilly, Ireland and Scotland, and ending up in Liverpool, where it will spend the summer, sailing to Norway, Iceland and Greenland.

After saying more goodbyes in Liverpool, the ship will move to Southampton, from where it will be saying its final farewells.

The very last voyage, after 44 years in service, departs October 30 and will be visiting Spain, Italy, Croatia, Greece, Cyprus, Israel, Egypt, Malta, France, Morocco.

What happens then has not been decided. At one point it appeared Dubai would snap it up, as happened with QE2, and turn Rose in to a floating hotel as well, but that seems to have fallen by the wayside now the recession has hit and the emirate has discovered cash is in short supply and it has rather too many hotels anyway.

I guess the other options are to find a buyer in a part of the world where no one bothers too much about SOLAS (as Fred Olsen did with Black Prince) or selling it for scrap.

All Saga says at the moment it that it is discussing plans for a fitting retirement.

Who says cruising is all about putting on weight?

Starting Monday morning, GMTV's Mr Motivator will be showing the female half of the nation how to get fit, healthy and in shape to wear a bikini this summer in live show broadcast from Princess Cruises' Ruby Princess while it cruises the Med.

Three "Bikini Ladies", representing the body shapes of an apple, a pear and a tofi (that's thin outside, fat inside, by the way, not lousy spelling), have been picked by GMTV to take part in the programmes, which are on all next week and will come from a different port each day.

The ladies will be working out in the ship's gym and on-deck and learning how to prepare healthy food with the help of the ship's executive chef, as well as getting active on ship's shore excursions.

Oh, and Princess will be using the opportunity to show you the many best bits of Ruby Princess of course.

It takes me back to a cruise I did in the Caribbean a few years back that also proved you don't have to put on weight on a cruise.

Don't believe me? Then tune in to ITV1's breakfast show all next week and get Mr Motivated!

I'm really excited to be cruising with Crystal Cruises this summer but looks like I picked the wrong date.

If I had gone for the Venice-Barcelona run departing October 20, I could have been getting the there style experts on board to help me with my fashion sense.

Or lack of, perhaps I should say.

During the Fashion and Style cruise, experts will be offering one-on-one consultations, answering fashion dilemmas (but possibly not ones along the lines of "why doesn't my dress fit any more") and helping passengers develop their own sense of style. How useful that would have been!

The style gurus - Anna Wycoff and Gayle Davis - will also be talking about the evolution of European fashion in the 1950s and '60s, and hosting a themed 1950s fashion show.

Prices for the 12-night cruise, on the 1,073-passenger Crystal Serenity, start at £3,775 including flights and transfers, soft drinks and basic gratuities. And as you'll get $1,000 per person on-board credit as well, to spend on alcohol, spa treatments, shore excursions - really anything you want - you'll have virtually nothing more to spend.

To book, see your travel agent, call 020 7287 9040 or check out the website.

Proving that glitz isn't everything, the 800-passenger Marco Polo, which cruises from Tilbury in London, has beaten off ships with lavish theatres and big entertainment budgets to come number three in Cruise.co.uk's reader surveys.

Actually it was at number at the start of the week, but these scores change faster than Yulana Plotvinova changed her clothes on Crown Princess last summer.

At the time it was brought to my attention, Marco Polo was number one with 4.29 points out of 5. As I write this, it is number three with 4.23, behind Cunard and Thomson, but ahead of Princess, Royal Caribbean, Ocean Village and P&O Cruises.

If you want to see what all the fuss is about, there are always bargains to be had on Marco Polo. How about an 11-night cruise around the British Isles departing July 26 for £699 per person? And there are no gratuities to pay. At that price, you can't afford not to trade up to an outside cabin, which is just £100 more.

Katy Setterfield, who won the BBC TV series The One and Only as Dusty Springfield will be performing on board. Call 0845 833 9798 or check out the website for more information. 

Less than a week after Peter Deilmann announced the imminent demise of its river cruise operation, its ocean-going vessel, Deutschland, arrived in London on a round-Britain voyage.

The vessel was moored in the Thames at Greenwich, it's usual spot by Tower Bridge having been closed. That's a real shame for passengers, who still had to tender ashore when they were by the bridge but at least they didn't have to negotiate the DLR once on dry land.

With river cruising almost gone - it finishes at the end of the season in October 2009 - Deilmann is pinning its hopes on Deutschland and ocean-going cruising, and especially the US and UK markets, which are seen as the growth markets.

The problem is, Deutschland feels very German, which could put off most Brits (although there were four on board, I am told, who had travelled to Hamburg to join the ship and sail back to the UK).

It comes across in the name of the ship (and the names of some lounges and restaurants - Berlin, Lili Marleen), which helpfully is on the chairs so you'll never forget where you are (as the average age is 72 maybe that is considered a possibility)...

...the fact that so many passengers are German or German-speaking and the slightly decadent, verging on kitsch, very 1930s Germany decor. This is the Terrasse Lounge (note the statues), below is the ballroom, below again the Old Fritz Pub.

The spa is interesting. This is called a Kraxen Oven and it is basically a sauna for people who don't do saunas (with apologies to Ocean Village). You sit here with a towel covering your front half and the hay behind is heated, which in turn heats the top half of your body. It costs €5 for 15 minutes.

And this is Cleopatra's Bath. It's filled with either goat's milk or coconut milk and you can lie here for half an hour with a glass of Champagne and the one you love (they reckon two can fit in it), doing oodles of good to your skin. It costs €45 for 30 minutes, but I suspect that excludes the bubbly.

I have to admit I was not a great fan of the ship when I first saw it a few years back, but it has grown on me. The little bit of service I experienced in my very short time on board was lovely - the passenger-facing crew all speak good English - and I was impressed with the food.

I also loved the fact there are nuts on tap in the Terrasse throughout the day. Such a mark of civilisation, but a bit of a killer where the diet is concerned. It's probably also one of the reasons why the average per diem is an eye-watering £250. And that excludes drinks.

You don't have to be elderly to cruise on Deutschland, but if you need to find that kind of money, it certainly helps.

Dawn Princess is the latest Princess ship to have been given a makeover. After two weeks in dry dock in Brisbane, Australia, the vessel is now back in service sporting a signature Movies under the Stars screen by the pool and an adults-only Sanctuary.

It's a case of one out, one in for Princess.

Royal Princess checked into a shipyard in Piraeus at the weekend, where it will undergo repairs following the engine room fire on June 18, as the ship was departing from Port Said in Egypt.

No one was hurt in the blaze, but two engines were disabled. That cruise and the June 25 departure were cancelled. The ship is expected to be back in service in time for its next scheduled cruise, departing Venice on July 7.

The trouble with a four-night cruise is that there is just not enough time to report from the ship. I got off Holland America Line's Eurodam in Dover early yesterday (Friday) morning and have a day at home to get myself organised and am then off again.

But more on that later.

Eurodam is a nice ship. I thought so when I saw it in Southampton last year and have not been disappointed this time around. It's a comfortable size, certainly not overwhelming, with some nice design features.

I loved these bar stools and the cabanas pictured below, which are by the pool. The pool area itself It has a roof that opens when the weather is nice. Must admit I was amused to see they had opened it on our cruise, when it really wasn't very warm - so everyone was wrapped up under their towels!

You can rent these cabanas by the day - $30 a day on a port day, $50 a day on a sea day, which buys you this private area (you can shut the curtains), an iPod with pre-selected music, the towels and bathrobes, chilled bottled water, a fuit basket, glass of house champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and more.

I was surprised how well used they were, even on our cruise, especially give the weather was so overcast. It's not cheap and you would feel you have to stay there all day to get your money's worth. I'm afraid I would find that too boring.

I am less sure about these other cabanas, higher up the ship and with a view of, well, the retractable roof. Surely it makes more sense to book a cabin or suite with a balcony and sit on that - at least you get a view of the sea.

I was also intrigued by this - as in why did anyone think it looked nice? There were several suggestions as to what it looks like, some of them not printable in a family blog. You almost expect it to start moving.

The thing that disappointed me most though, was the service. I have already reported that my cabin didn't get turned down the first night (it did subsequent evenings, I'm pleased to say, but was never made up in the mornings until well, the afternoon).

I should add here that it really doesn't matter to me personally if it is or isn't turned down. I can switch off lights, shut curtains and turn down the bed myself. But the point is that these things should happen automatically on a premium cruise line.

Most of the crew were charming and polite, with a cheery hello if you passed them on the stairs, but every now and then there was one that let the side down, forgetting that a smile and "hello" is a nice way to greet someone who is about to spend money with you. That was a shame.

One of Holland America's proudest features is its culinary arts centre, where chefs put on "how-to" demos. Our cruise had guest chef Jeremy Bloor, top man at the OXO Tower in London, on board to show off his cookery skills.

The kitchens are impressive - apparently they cost $1 million each to install - but they do need a chef with the gift of the gab to get the show going. HAL should see if Jamie Oliver fancies a cruise with the family!

When I went down to the theatre on Holland America's Eurodam to pick up a sticker for my cycling excursion from Zeebrugge I was sure they would say it was cancelled.

While working in my cabin, I had been watching my balcony flood with all the rain that was pouring down. Even if that didn't put them off, surely the fact that I was wearing a pair of sandals (wot, no protection for your toes!) would break all the health and safety rules.

Wrong on both counts. So an hour later, I found myself in Bruges, doing some practice turns on my bike during a break in the clouds. There were quite a few such breaks, and the sun even came out at times, which was very welcome as in between, we looked like a group of drowned rats.

Actually despite the rain, the trip was really good. Jos, the manager of the bike company QuasiMundo in front, Rony, who had picked us up at the port, bringing up the rear and doing a grand job of stopping the traffic by taking off his clothes and lying in the road.

OK, that was Jos' joke. But Rony really did stop the traffic for us when we needed to get over roads - just a formality really as the Belgian drivers are all very polite and stop anyway when they see a bike (actually I think it has a lot to do with the fact they are always to blame if they hit a cyclist, but whatever, it works).

Our bike ride took us from Bruges to Damme, a thriving port until the entrance from the sea silted up and the port was moved to Zeebrugge. Now it's a pretty little village with a handful of people and cobbled streets, which are not a lot of fun when you're on a bike.

On the way we learned that Belgian Blue cows are white and have been so inbred to create stocky little cows with lots of meat that they can't give birth naturally and always have to have a caesarean. We learned about windmills, bridges on ropes that are rolled up to let boats through, the canals around the city that were dug by Napoleon (there's me in front of one, in one of my drier moments) and the German officer who became a hero because he ignored orders given in the last war to destroy Bruges.

Jos was very lavish in his praise for our cycling abilities, which struck me as strange until he explained a lot of people come on the tours who can't ride a bike. How odd is that?

Back on board Eurodam, I sat in while Diana Moran, otherwise known as the Green Goddess, gave an inspiring talk on the importance of staying fit and healthy despite growing old. As I had just cycled about 15km, I felt very virtuous.

Next stop on this mini-cruise is Cherbourg, where hopefully the weather will be a little kinder.

The port of Dover was at its most awkward when I turned up yesterday to board Holland America Line's Eurodam. The man at the gate sent me down to the terminal where someone would give me further instruction.

There was indeed somone else to give me instruction. It was to drive back to the entrance and park in the red car park. I asked why, given I was talking to the man within easy walking distance of terminal 2 and right next to some parking spaces. "Because that is what we are doing," was the reply. Don't you just love jobsworths?

Anyway, by the time I got to the terminal, it resembled the Marie Celeste, so I was able to check in and get on board fast, which was excellent.

My cabin is comfortable but not nearly as grand as the one I had when I was on Eurodam in Southampton last summer (luckily I am cruising alone because by the time I had spread myself out, as I have a bad habit of doing, there is no room for anyone else!), but this time there are real passengers on board so naturally they have been allowed to snap up the best accommodation.

As I say, the cabin is comfortable and the bed is supersoft, but there are a few strange things for a line that calls itself a premium brand. I've got shampoo, conditioner, bath gel and soap in the bathroom, but no body lotion. There's a mini bar but it's locked.

Last night before I went to dinner, my room steward gave me a form to order room-service breakfast, a card reminding me the clocks go forward an hour and two chocolates. And that was the last time he came in my room. When I got back after dinner - we ate in the main dining room and my meal was very good, by the way - all the lights were still on, the curtains were open and the bed was just as I had left it.

It wouldn't have been so bad except I just put the bundle of stuff he gave me to one side and promptly forgot, however many hours later when I went to bed, to change my clock.

I'm assuming the lack of a turndown was because these guys are super busy on the first night. I'll let you know what happens tonight.

I said before I left the UK for this Lindblad cruise around Svalbard that I wanted to see Polar bears and I have not been disappointed.

The first was spotted just after breakfast on the first morning, the second just after lunch, as we were on our way to the end of a fjord to go kayaking. Yes, as well as Zodiacs to take us ashore there's a fleet of infatable kayaks on board our ship, National Geographic Explorer.

The expedition team strings a platform between two Zodiacs and then we can get in and out of the kayaks with ease - well almost.

Unfortunately the rudder on the one Ilana and I were in got stuck so we spent a long time going around in circles! Finally someone came and took the rudder out of the water, which helped, but we are not planning to enter any kayaking competitions just yet.

We were warned not to go too close to the big icebergs, which was useful as one split and then turned over. Spectacular but a little scary when you are underneath. But it was fun trying to kayak over the small bits of ice.

We were also kitted out with emergency alarms in case a Polar bear came up to the kayak. They are a constant danger so the expedition team guides always carry guns when taking us on hikes ashore. This is Jason, our guide, on a short tour ashore yesterday.

But back to the bear spotting. This morning's 7am call alerted us to yet another Polar bear, so it was on with the hats, gloves and cameras. This was the picture I got with the help of a telescope and my camera zoom (naturally the ship doesn't get too close and upset the animals).

What a great way to start the day.

I've never had a cabin so low down on a ship as on Lindblad's National Geographic Explorer.

My daughter and I are at the very front of the vessel, as low as it is possible to go if you are a passenger - neither places I would choose to be. I just hope we don't hit bad weather as we will be the first to feel it!

The cabin has a pole - guess it's a structural thing rather than decor - and a tiny porthole, which is really not great as you can't enjoy the views and it is always dim in there (it looks bright in the picture as the sun was shining in - but we haven't seen sun for two days!).

The other drawback for me is that you either have to close the porthole at night, in which case the room is too dark for me (I always sleep with cutains a bit open on a cruise ship), or leave it open, in which case it is too light to sleep (there is 24-hour daylight up here). However, we have discovered that a towel, drapped over the window, works to dim the light enough.

On the plus side we have a huge shower, which is wonderful, and bath robes and slippers, which seem a little incongruous but did a sterling job this afternoon when we returned wet and cold from a fabulous non-landing Zodiac cruise, of which more later.

Walking along the corridors at cleaning time I have been able to spot bigger and better cabins, and ones with proper picture windows. Yesterday, as we were returning in the Zodiacs from a walk on shore, I spotted some balconies.

OK, so it's too cold to sit out on them up here in the frozen wastes of Svalbard but how lovely to have the view.

First P&O Cruises reported record sales for its long voyages for 2011 - 1,374 passengers booked on the first day on sale, July 1, and more than 1,000 of those for a full circumnavigation.

Now Cunard says first-day sales for its 2011 world cruise programme, also on July 1, were up a recession-defying 150% compared to last year.

It's terrific news given the experts tell us we are in the grip of a global economic crisis. I suspect people are just fed up with the bad news and determined to have some fun instead of sitting watching their money earn paltry interest.

Interestingly, P&O reports increased demand from first-timers. Now that's brave. Imagine booking a three-month cruise and discovering you didn't like cruising. My advice always would be to try a seven-nighter first just to make sure.

The record demand could, of course, also have something to do with the prices -book with P&O and you can see the world from £6,899 per person - and the fact P&O and Cunard have come out with something a bit different for world cruisers in 2011.

P&O has four long voyages, including an 84-night cruise on Oriana that sets sail in September 2010 instead of the usual post-New Year departure (OK, so it really shouldn't be in the 2011 programme, but they did that, not me).

Cunard will be offering its first circumavigation on new ship Queen Elizabeth, but also a veritable Queen cruise-fest - voyaging from Southampton to New York on Queen Victoria, New York to Sydney on Queen Elizabeth and Sydney to Southampton on Queen Mary 2.

Inevitably, the norovirus outbreak on Marco Polo last week has sparked a "how clean is your ship" debate on Cruise.co.uk. You can read the official cruise ship inspection scores and pick up tips on how to have a healthy cruise.

Reading the comments, it's amazing how paranoid people are and what lurid tales they have. I wonder how they dare to go on a cruise. And how do they get on at home, where there are no crew washing and cleaning day and night to keep surfaces clean?

Personally I have a theory that one of the problems generally is that we are all so clean these days that our systems have no immunity when faced with a dirty bug.

Not that I'm advocating we all give up washing or cleaning, you understand. For my part, I never touch the bannisters on a ship (if it's rocky, an steadying elbow or sleeve does the trick) and am very careful opening public toilet doors, having seen too many people who do not wash their hands. Sad to say, while the kids are often blamed, it is usually the older women who don't bother.

I have to say I have been very impressed with the way Bremen-based Transocean Tours has handled the outbreak on Marco Polo, with regular updates on what is happening and no attempt to cover up the severity of the outbreak.

The latest news is that Marco Polo arrived in Tilbury this morning and will be cleaned from stem to stern, inspected and hopefully cleared to depart as planned on July 14 for a 12-night Baltic cruise.

Yesterday, all passengers on the curtailed cruise - the ship had been moored up at Invergordon since Monday July 6, when the bug struck, and have now just returned to Tilbury - were told they will get a full refund of the cost of the cruise, a refund for all their beverage expenses and a 50% off voucher to put against another Marco Polo cruise from the UK.

The company has also said it will continue investigating the cause of the virus outbreak, which is quite unusual in the summer. Suppose they find a passenger brought it on, which is highly likely. Someone is going to feel awful.

 The ship I am sailing on in Svalbard, Lindblad's National Geographic Explorer, was once a passenger/vehicle ferry called Lyngen that sailed the Norwegian coast between Bergen to Kirkenes for Hurtigruten.

It was acquired in 2007 by Lindblad, a US company that specialises in small ship exploration cruises, completely gutted so instead of carrying 500 passengers it carries 148, and had a super class 1A ice-strengthened hull added that can take on sea ice.

Or at least that's what the captain told us as we smashed our way through the ice floes. And I guess I am still here to tell the tale.

The ship itself is simple but functional, designed to ensure you never walk in a straight line, as one passenger observed!

There is a lounge, an observation lounge-cum-library, a sauna and two spa rooms where you can have all sorts of treatments with fun names such as Marine Iguana salt glow and Sea Lion relaxation massage. I had a very deep Humpback Whale deep tissue massage.

There are two bars and one restaurant where you help yourself to breakfast and lunch, and dinner is served. It's always open dining, so we can sit with different people each night; dinner is served in one sitting, usually at 7.30pm.

Where the car deck used to be is the mud room, possibly the most important place on the ship, as this is where you get on and off the inflatable zodiacs that take you ashore. The ship carries 11 ordinary zodiacs, one with a glass bottom and a last one used to take a remotely-operated camera deep down to see what's happening below the surface.

We've had three film shows courtesy of David, who even went diving one morning to bring us footage.

Each day we have had a wake-up call at 6.30am to 7am, during the day there are non-landing zodiac cruises that get us up close to glaciers or icebergs, or go in search for seals, hikes ashore, hours spent looking for - and watching - Polar bears and whales, and talks. And of course the chance to have a spa treatment.

All very exhausing - at least the business of getting ready is, as you lots of need layers of clothes, hats and gloves to stave off the cold.

By 10pm each night, unless there is a walrus or bear sighting, the ship has been like the Marie Celeste as everyone is in bed getting ready for the next busy day.

Day two of our cruise in Svalbard, the inflatables were lowered into the water and we all went on a non-landing zodiac cruise in search of wildlife.

No sooner had we cast off from our ship, Lindblad's National Geographic Explorer, than we hit the jackpot - three walruses sitting on an iceberg apparently only too content to have their pictures taken.

They are frighteningly big animals. Mike, our zodiac driver and one of the expedition team photographers on board the ship, was getting very nervous when two slid into the water and disappeared from sight, leaving this one to pose for us.

Just to make sure we shared his concern, he said a walrus had been known to rip open the bottom of a zodiac. With those tusks, I guess it's not such a surprise. After we had all duly ooohed and aaahed, we carried on shooting. After all, how many times do you get a chance to take a picture like this?

Next day we were due to go ashore but plan A had to be abandonned when a Polar bear was spotted where we were going to walk. So we reverted to plan B - a landing on the island of Barentsoya.

Ilana and I did the long walk - about three hours - with Richard at the front, armed with a gun, and Jen at the rear, also armed, to make sure there are no stragglers as they are the ones most likely to be picked off by a bear. The rules are strict here. You stick with your group at all times; once you set off on a walk, there is no turning back.

For those less mobile, there are short and medium walks, and even photography walks, which you might spend 30 minutes snapping a flower so you need to be keen!

Back on board we continued north, cruised through a narrow channel known as the Worm Hole because of the way the currents twist and turn, and into what they call the East Side.

It was colder and more barren than where we had come from but produced more Polar bear sightings, including a mother and cub and this little guy, who we caught having breakfast. He then came right up to the side of the ship, quite unperturbed by the giant blue and white thing that had been breaking up his ice.

We found him after our breakfast and spent about two hours watching him, by which time my feet and hands were frozen. And then I spotted one of the expedition team guys wearing flip-flops. I'm still intrigued to think anyone would even think of packing a pair to go to the Arctic!

Moon-walker Neil Armstrong is joining Lindblad/National Geographic Journeys on a 26-day expedition cruise to the Antarctic departing November 15.

He'll no doubt have some amazing tales to tell of the time he took that one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind as the ship, National Geographic Explorer, makes its way over Drake's Passage.

As I'm just back from a brilliant Lindblad/National Geographic Journeys cruise in Svalbard, I have no doubt this will be an amazing experience. You can book it here in the UK through Titan Travel. Prices start from £8,998 per person including all flights and overseas and VIP UK airport transfer service.

If you don't fancy getting your chills in Antarctica, there's a Baltic cruise from Copenhagen to St Petersburg departing September 6, with special guests Mikhail Shvydkoi, Russia's former Minister of Culture, and Lech Walesa, Nobel Peace Prize winner and former President of Poland on board.

Prices for this are from £4,448 per person including flights and UK and overseas transfers.

European Waterways is offering a six-week, 1,000-mile journey from Avignon to Amsterdam on the hotel barge Anjodi, which rose to fame a few years back when Rick Stein and his film crew were on board to make a 400-mile French Odyssey for TV.

Stein won't be on this journey, but it sounds as if it'll be pretty good without him, visiting cities such as Lyon, Paris and Cologne, cruising the Rhone, Seine and Rhine and the Canal de Bourgogne (the canal, 150 miles long, with 209 locks, connects the Med to the Atlantic via the Yonne and Seine to the Saône and Rhone). The full itinerary is here.

You'll spend the days cruising, sightseeing and enjoying good food, prepared by the on-board chef, and wine from the regions you are sailing through. And you'll have to do that for six weeks, from November 8 to December 18. How tough is that!

Anjodi is small, with room for just eight passengers in four cabins, and looks lovely with lots of wood panelling and brass. All the accommodation is en-suite with air-conditioning, and there is a sun deck with heated sunken jacuzzi.

Prices start from £15,000 per person including all food, an open bar and excursions. Alternatively, you can charter the vessel for £110,000.

It was good to read a review from, oh dear, an elderly person, giving a personal account of what happened on Marco Polo when the norovirus bug struck earlier this month.

She talks of an "immaculate" ship pre-bug, with a crew that spent their days cleaning and polishing, and says she has nothing but admiration for their patience and understanding after everyone started to get ill.

She mentions their efforts to change bedding, fumigate cabins, make sure no one touched surfaces in the buffet (which was suspended) or around the tea and coffee stations to try to stop the spread, and she has special praise for Richard Sykes, the cruise director, for his efforts to keep everyone informed and organising entertainment and extra activities.

Almost all the comments following, some from people who were also on the ship at the same time, likewise have nothing but praise for the ship, crew and Richard Sykes as well.

People on board Marco Polo when the bug hit were well compensated, it's true - and swiftly, by the sound of it - so they have no grudge to bear, but how refreshing to hear from cruisers prepared to acknowledge the good side of their holiday as well.

Law firm Irwin Mitchell has taken up the case of 17 passengers on a Thomson Spirit cruise in May who were struck down by norovirus.

It's the same-old story. Passengers get ill on a cruise and their holiday is ruined, so they seek compensation. If they are lucky they get a good hand-out - good enough for them to afford another cruise with the same line that have just accused of lacking hygiene standards.

What interested me more when digging around on the Irwin Mitchell site was the following statement by Vivien Sadler from Notttingham on Marco Polo, which was recently so badly hit by norovirus that the cruise had to be cancelled.

A tolerant soul clearly, she has usefully found a way to stop these outbreaks.

"I am extremely upset as it appears they continued to allow elderly people to board the ship despite knowing how vulnerable they are to illnesses such as Norovirus."

So there you are. Ban elderly people because they get ill. Wonder how that will go down at Fred Olsen, Swan Hellenic - and Transocean Tours, which runs Marco Polo for that matter - given "elderly people" are their bread and butter.

Quite fitting really for the Love Boat cruiseline. Except it's not that sort of passion.

For 2010, Princess Cruises is offering a cruise tour that has tickets to the Oberammergau Passion Play, held every 10 years in Oberammergau, Southern Germany.

The Passion Play, which depicts the life and death of Jesus, has been held every 10 years since 1634, performed by the villagers, in thanksgiving for deliverance from the Black Death in 1633. It goes on for so long - about seven hours - that a meal is served in the intermission.

More than 2,000 actors, singers, instrumentalists and technicians take part. They make their own costumes for the production and, as no wigs are used, participants must grow their hair and beards for several months prior to the performances.

It's all very heavy stuff, but the eight-day tour visits some great German cities as well, including Frankfurt, Munich and Berlin, and then connects with a 10-day Scandinavia/Russia cruise on Star Princess. Departures are August 2 and August 12, 2010.

Nakheel, the company that bought the QE2, has admittted the ship will be making another final cruise, this time to Cape Town, South Africa, where the ship will be moored at the V&A Waterfront, which is owned by Dubai World, Nakheel's parent company.

It will be put to work as a floating hotel, providing additional accommodation in Cape Town during the 2010 World Cup and much-needed cash for Nakheel, which Maktoob Business reports has been hard hit by the collapse of Dubai's real estate market.

The company itself has put some of its projects, including the Trump Tower, on hold and has retrenched hundreds of staff amid a slump in property sales.

Presumably then Nakheel can't afford to carry through its grandiose plans to turn the 40-year- old ship, for which it paid £50 million, into a seven-star floating hotel. Not at the moment at least.

Manfred Ursprunger, chief executive officer of QE2 Enterprises at Nakheel Hotels said the move to Cape Town is only for 18 months so the next last voyage won't be the last either.

I wonder where it will go next? How about back to Southampton?

I also wonder if they will sell any of these voyages to paying passengers. Imagine if you had paid to be on the last one, from Southampton to Dubai, only to find there is another last one. There would be some very unhappy people out there.

Before I left for my Arctic cruise with Lindblad I mentioned I was taking my daughter so I would be able to get a teenage perspective about the trip. A bit delayed but here it is, after this picture of her in reflective mood on one of the warm days (note the lack of hats, scarfs and coats compared to the picture below).

I was really looking forward to my cruise in Svalbard. The main thing I wanted to see was the Ice Bear, and on the first day I saw two. It was a shame that you couldn't go very close to them, but the ship had powerful telescopes for us to look through which was great - although once they became pointless as a young Polar bear came right up to the ship.

I also found the history of Svalbard very interesting and one of the naturalists in the expedition team gave a fascinating talk about his experience when he lived as a trapper for one year. At the end of every day the naturalists would do a thing called a recap, when they picked up on something that happened that day and gave us more information related to it.

There was one under-sea naturalist and he looked at the underwater life. I found this interesting, because in geography you talk about the effects the glaciers have on the land but not on the effect they have underwater, and you never get to see the animal life right at the bottom of the ocean.

The ship was small, but it wasn't crowded and there was good service. The only problem I had with it was that there was nothing to do during the days at sea, which there could be a lot of, because you couldn't be sure of getting ashore due to bad weather or Polar bears!

We did a couple of Zodiac cruises, which were great fun. Zodiacs are small inflatable boats that allowed us to get very close to icebergs and glaciers. The first one we did we saw three walruses and on the second one we saw this seal.

While cruising around the islands one of the expedition team spotted a Blue Whale. The Blue Whale is the largest animal on the planet. This was very exciting and we were very lucky to see it. We also saw puffins and huge bird cliffs inhabited by thousands upon thousands of Brunnich's guillemots.

It was a great cruise but the drawback is that you can't be guaranteed to see any of this. It's not a zoo. And the wind was usually very cold which meant we had to keep well wrapped up.

This might be of interest for anyone yet to book a cruise this year.

Norwegian Cruise Line has launched a sale offering not just a few healthy savings on cruises themselves, but also up to $150 credit to spend on board as well.

It's not a huge amount given the poor exchange rate it's true, but as a supermarket insists on telling us, "Every little helps".

The sale goes on until the end of August, but you'll have to move quick to get the spending money as that's only available when you book through a travel agent before the end of July. And that's on Friday!

There are sale tags on cruises in the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Panama and South America, with up to £830 per person off a 14-night Caribbean Panoramas sailing in December from Miami. The price now is from £1,479 excluding flights.

You can also get £370 per person off a seven-night Western Med cruise in November from Barcelona. It's now £539 per person, or £77 a day and for that you get the flight as well.

If you read the Berlitz cruise guide, you'll have heard of Europa, the only ship author Doug Ward reckons merits a five-star-plus rating.

Now you can find out if you agree as German owner Hapag-Lloyd is offering its first bilingual mini-cruise on Europa next year.

It's one of seven bilingual cruises on the ship in 2010 - part of the company's strategy to get more Brits on board - and usefully it's just Monte Carlo to Monte Carlo so you don't have to travel too far to see if you like it. Departure is October 6 and it costs £1,413 per person.

That's a rather eye-watering £350 per day, which doesn't even include the flight, but you can help yourself to free soft drinks and beer from your minibar.

As an interesting aside, yesterday I was talking to Silversea about a 10-night cruise from Cape Town next January that costs £2,438 per person - £244 a day - including flights, all drinks and gratuities.

Your choice.

Nothing to do with having a miserable weather or being feasted on by mozzies in the Scottish highlands and islands, but everything to do with Hebridean International Cruises, which went into administration earlier this year.

Mundy Cruising, one of the top creditors of the failed company, has put together a top-10-tips booklet ostensibly to help Hebridean fans get over the demise of their favourite cruiseline but to try to win a few bookings from people who missed their cruise when the line collapsed.

Tips three to nine are suggestions of other small cruiselines that might appeal, starting with Noble Caledonia's Island Sky, a sister ship to Hebridean Spirit, which Hebridean International sold off just before its demise.

Next comes Orion Expedition Cruises, an Australian-based cruiseline that sails around the Kimberley region of Oz, Papua New Guinea and Antarctica. Coincidentally, an Australian couple of my cruise in Svalbard had been on Orion and loved it.

With luck I'm meeting the lady behind Orion in a couple of weeks so I'll be able to tell you more about it.

Others selected by Mundy include Cruise West, Yachts of Seabourn's three small sisters, Viking River Cruises, Windstar Cruises two 147-passenger ships and SeaDream Yacht Club.

Interestingly, the one cruiseline not mentioned is the phoenix-like Hebridean, which was acquired by All Leisure Group, lock, stock and one ship, Hebridean Princess, and renamed Hebridean Island Cruises.

The tiny Princess, with room for just 49 passengers, is still cruising the Scottish islands from Oban, offering cruises with drinks, excursions and gratuities included in the price.

Personally the Princess itineraries aren't as interesting as those on the Spirit, which sailed to some exciting and exotic parts of the world, but surely it's still an option for anyone in need of a Hebridean fix?

In the latest Cruise.co.uk ratings, Thomson not only comes top for entertainment, but also holds poll position for best food and best crew.

In fact, in the entertainment category, Thomson has three ships in the top five, while in the best crew section, it holds first, second and third place. Quite a result.

As ever with this type of poll, one has to be a bit circumspect and the results do tend to change with the wind so when you look it could all be a bit different. Nevertheless, it gives an indication of what each line is doing well.

Thomson also comes second in the cruiselines top 10. Here's the full table:

1 - Cunard

2 - Thomson Cruises

3 - Princess Cruises

4 - Ocean Village

5 - P&O Cruises

6 - Royal Caribbean International

7 - Celebrity Cruises

8 - Fred Olsen Cruise Lines

9 - Island Cruises

10 - Norwegian Cruise Line

Interesting to see Ocean Village at number 4. The cruiseline is being disbanded by Carnival UK apparently because it couldn't be made to pay. If only all the people who liked it so much had been prepared to pay a bit more for their flycruise it would have survived.

Or would it? Cruise Critic says P&O Cruises has been asking passengers what they would think if it were to offer flycruises from, say, Palma and Crete. Rather as Ocean Village does.

Could it be that Ocean Village had to go, to make room for P&O?

It's been a long time coming but Saga finally bought the Astoria yesterday, when a metaphorical hammer fell on the company's bid at a closed auction in Gibraltar.

The story of Saga and Astoria started last year and has become something of a, well, Saga.

First Astoria was going to join Spirit of Adventure as Quest for Adventure, then Saga decided to sell Saga Rose early so Astoria was to switch to the Saga fleet and become Saga Pearl II.

But just as the deed was about to be done, Astoria's owners went into receivership and the ship was impounded in Barcelona. It was then taken to Gibraltar for auction.

Now it's back to the drawing board for Saga - but in the positive sense. After paying what it calls an "appropriate" price for the ship, it is planning a £14 million refit that will upgrade the show lounge, spa and two swimming pools, create one of the best libraries afloat and install new kitchens.

Saga is adding balcony cabins and the ship, which weighs in at 18,591 tons and has capacity for 446 passengers, will also have a special coating of paint applied to the hull that will enable it to travel through the sea with greater ease and significantly reduce fuel consumption.

Saga Pearl II's inaugural cruise will depart Southampton on March 15 2010, for an 18-night voyage to the Norwegian fjords and high Arctic. That will be followed by a 16-night cruise to the Canary Islands and a 16-night Mediterranean Discovery.

Yesterday was the first sea day on Crystal Serenity so this is a good moment to reflect on what Crystal Cruises is all about.

The cruiseline is a bit of hybrid - definitely up there with its six-star peers if you equate luxury with service, but the odd one out against other ultra-lux lines Silversea, Regent Seven Seas Cruises and Yachts of Seabourn in that it retains traditional two-sitting dinner in the evening and you have to pay for alcohol (but soft drinks are free).

Serenity is also the biggest ship in the ultra-lux fleet - actually not much different in size to QE2, but where QE2 squeezed in 1,700 passengers, Serenity only holds 1,070. And on this cruise, from Piraeus (for Athens) to Barcelona, there are only 550 of us. Which means we are outnumbered by the 655 crew.

No wonder we are being treated like royalty!

Actually that was a joke, because when I was on this ship last September I was still treated like royalty, and then they had to cope with a full complement of passengers.

Many of the are crew are Croatian, Hungarian and Bulgarian and so many have names beginning with Z that I am beginning to wonder if that is one of the main qualifications for working on Crystal! As well as having a captivating smile and slightly cheeky sense of humour.

Any passengers who thought today's sea day was time to relax would have been sorely disappointed as there was a packed schedule of lectures (Math and the Mona Lisa or the Presidency of Barack Obama anyone?), Italian lessons, a free wine tasting, which I still cannot believe I managed to miss, golf, team trivia, ballroom dancing, needlepoint - yes, really - music and computer classes. Phew.

And somehow everyone had to find time to get ready for the first formal night as well.

What has really surprised me is the number of children and teens on this cruise, which, let's face it, is an expensive line to bring kids on. Ilana has been out in the evenings and much of today with her new friends, who all seem to be enjoying themselves but are not upsetting non-kid fraternity in the process.

Strangely under-18s they are not allowed to be in anywhere with a bar after 11pm unless they are with an adult, which seems a bit harsh as that's just the time Ilana does not want mum hanging around. So she and her friends walk around the ship, sometimes nipping into a lounge just to see if they can get away with it.

I couldn't possibly say any more.

Although I am not a fan of fixed dining, so far things have worked fine, mainly because we keep moving around so haven't had been in the same place twice. The first night we changed from an empty table of eight, where we looked very sad indeed, to one for just two, the next night it was open seating anyway as a lot of passengers were at an evening concert at Ephesus, so we had a different table for two.

Two waiters but both called Zoltan. See what I mean about the Zs?

Tuesday night we were in Prego, the Italian restaurant, which is my favourite and serves the best mushroom soup ever, last night we were back in the restaurant but this time on a table for 10. I think we will be at the same table tonight, hopefully sitting with the people who were at the other end to us as we have exhausted conversation with the ones we were with.

We would also like to try Tastes one evening - that's a casual eatery by the Neptune pool, and we'll be dining Nobu-style on Saturday, before we disembark Sunday. The speciality restaurants are all free, incidentally, but they recommend a $7 per person gratuity. Given the level of service, I don't think anyone could have a problem with that.

Tastes is in a glass-roofed "conservatory", set around a small pool, and also open for a late served breakfast, which is a lovely alternative to the self-service and much lighter and brighter than the dining room. Yesterday it was also dressed up for a special Cuisine of the Sun Mediterranean lunch buffet.

I took these pictures before it opened, planning to return to eat later but lost track of time and managed to miss it altogether, so I ended up having a late lunch in the Bistro, where you can help yourself to cold meats, pates, bread, cheeses, fruit and French bread.

Leave out the cheese and add a glass or two of white wine and you have my idea of heaven.

Cheers!

I wrote a couple of days ago that I had challenged my daughter Ilana to walk with me up the 588 or so steps from Santorini harbour to Fira, the island's capital. Well, here we are at step 569.

OK, I'll be honest. The picture was taken while we were walking down the harbour to take the tender back to Crystal Serenity, our home this week.

As there were only two ships in Santorini yesterday - a big improvement on last time we were here when there were six - there was no queue for the cable car and as it's only €4 per person to go up, it seemed churlish not to take the easy way.

Of course, there are also the donkeys, which share the zig-zag steps with walkers. Ilana and I took them up last time and swore never to do it again.

Apart from the inhumane side, it was actually a rather unpleasant experience, especially as my donkey seemed to have an overwhelming desire to bite my foot and Ilana's beast got to the top of the hill and ran up to a wall, surrounding itself with other donkeys while she was still on top. Stuck, until I could get one of the men in charge to understand her plight.

Fira, if you have never been, is a beautiful place, a whitewashed town perched on top of a volcanic island that is full of steps and cobbled alleyways filled with shops selling white dresses, jewellery made from lava and bags covered in pictures of donkeys.

It's terribly touristy, but I can forgive that in return for the spectacular views over the lagoon where the ships moor. This is Serenity at anchor yesterday. And at least there are no heavy selling tactics such as you encounter in Kusadasi, our first stop after boarding in Athens on Sunday.

There's a huge bazaar packed with stalls selling "genuine fake" designer goods (the signs on the stalls actually say that) and Turkish carpet shops whose owners start unrolling carpets in front of anyone who dares enter. Within five minutes you are buried in pile, silk and other such carpets, whether or not you are interested in buying. It's a challenge getting away empty-handed but after being buried several times I'm pretty good at it.

Rather than salesmen, in Santorini we had to run the gauntlet of the donkeys' rear ends and hind legs as we started our descent to the harbour and also avoid getting run over as some donkeys staggered up and other slip-slided their way down the steps with lazy tourists, looking most uncomfortable, on their backs.

At one point, this north-bound convey met a south-bound crowd so we jumped to safety on the wall. Having seen the way last time they just walked into people (there is no steering!) we were taking no chances (luckily we didn't understand the choice Italian words that resulted that time but I got the impression they were not complimentary!)

In another part of Santorini, I spotted a train of donkeys going home for the day being followed by a man with a broom and a shovel. S*** job, but as there must be 100 or so rear ends to clean up after, at least it's secure employment.

I was reminded of fellow cruise blogger Captain Greybeard yesterday as I sat through the muster drill on Crystal Serenity.

In the traditional way of muster drills, the alarm sounded, the signal for my daughter and I to take our lifejackets from our Penthouse and head to our muster station.

We were all required to be wearing them before we entered the muster station - in our case the show lounge - and looking neat, too, with straps tucked away in the side because of course that makes a difference if the ship is sinking.

Why then, after explaining this was where we should come in the event of an emergency, was there a demonstration of how to put on a lifejacket? I mention this in connection with Crystal Cruises, but this is what most cruise lines do.

And why did I think of the Captain? He mentioned the aircraft safety drill, telling you how to buckle and unbuckle your seat belt. This is done, as I am sure you all know, when the aircraft is taxi-ing to the runway and the cabin stewards and stewardesses (or girls and boys if you are flying with Virgin) have checked that everyone's seat belt is done up!

The safety drill is always a bit of a thorny issue - important for first-time cruisers, a pain in the posterior for regulars, not because it takes very long but because we've heard it all before. Basically, it's a bit of a bore.

It's like the aircraft safety demo, which we are asked to watch because every plane is different. Really? I'm no expert but I've noticed they all have emergency exits, floor lighting, seat belts. lifejackets under the seats and oxygen in the panels above, so which bit exactly is different?

When I was on P&O Cruises' Ventura in May, I remember looking along the length of the ship from the Metropolis Bar on deck 18 and wondering who would go down to decks three, four, five, etc, to fetch a lifejacket if the ship was sinking - or actually in any emergency?

Presumably that same thought prompted the changes now happening on Royal Caribbean and Celebrity Cruises, which the Captain mentioned and which I also experienced on Celebrity Equinox the other day.

Instead of going to their cabin to fetch their lifejacket and then finding their way to the muster drill, passengers are now instructed to go straight to the muster station, where lifejackets will be waiting.

It's a sound idea and one that will catch on across the industry I am sure. I can't imagine the panic as passengers, told there is an emergency, try to find their way back to their cabin. After all, many people, who are perfectly intelligent on land, have enough problems trying to find ther rooms under normal circumstances. So how much more sensible to get them to the muster area and then kit them out with a lifejacket.

On Equinox, we were supposed to watch a safety video on a screen. Good idea. Except I couldn't see the screen for the sea of taller people in front of me. Then there was a demo of how to put on a lifejacket. Fine, as none of us was wearing one. Except again, I couldn't even see the guy doing the demo, let alone see how to do it.

It didn't matter for me as I know after years of mustering, but what if I had been a first-timer? I reckon they will have to start mustering people in their stations according to height.

Or would that be considered sizeist?

There are some things you don't want to see on a Sunday morning - including 3.15am, but that was the sight that welcomed me as I was rudely awakened by my alarm clock yesterday.

I was all in a good cause though. My daughter and I were taking an early flight to Athens - so early that Heathrow hadn't even opened when we got there at 4.30am - to join Crystal Cruises' 1,080-passenger Crystal Serenity in Piraeus for a cruise to Civitavecchia, the port for Rome.

We were in a taxi at Athens airport by 11.55am, at the port of Piraeus by 12.35pm and on the ship having lunch - because that is the first thing you always have to do when you board a ship! - by the Neptune pool by 1pm. No queues, no delays. Fabulous.

It's what I would expect of a luxury six-star ship, but I do love it when things go right.

We are staying in a Penthouse with a butler, two stewardesses to look after the room, a lovely big bathroom with two sinks, and a separate shower and bath, and a closet for our clothes. Must remember to explain that to Ilana, who in the space of a few hours has managed to scatter numerous garments around the Penthouse.

First stop is Kusadasi in Turkey and there are some drop-dead gorgeous places to follow, namely Taormina and Sorrento. In Santorini, I've challenged Ilana to walk up to the town, Fira, with me. All 588 steps. The "are you mad" response was a bit negative, but we'll see.

As ever I'll be reporting back from the ship and the places we visit , as well as keeping an eye on other news, so keep looking.

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? A dreamy day in beautiful Venice, wandering around the canals, over bridges, generally getting lost in the back streets.

Well a dream is all it was, because although the itinerary proclaimed the day after we embarked Ruby Princess as "Venice", by 9am we were reversing out of the port - a tricky manoeuve given Italian drivers are just as mad on water as they are on land and clearly don't believe in giving way, even to a giant like Ruby Princess - sailing past St Mark's Square and off down the Adriatic en route to Athens.

Confused? Well so was I, not because we had left Venice so early, as I had read on the itinerary that we would be leaving at 8am - so actually we were late departing - but because the ship insisted on calling it a Venice day even though we were very much at sea.

So I couldn't understand why the teens' club wasn't open - it was operating on port times, not sea day times - and why it wasn't a formal night, as it always is on the first day at sea. Most shocking of all, it meant the rest of my itinerary was thrown because after "Venice" there was the real day at sea so we were arriving in Athens a day later than expected.

Luckily we had raced into the city as soon as we dumped our bags on the ship the previous evening or the only Venice we would have seen was as we sailed out, but I bet several others missed out.

Just to emphasise it was a sea day, at 11am the whistles sounded to call everyone to the lifeboat drill.

"No need to have your lifejackets on yet," DJ Mark told us incessently as he killed time waiting for everyone to saunter to their muster stations. Well it is supposed to be an emergency you know! "In fact, if you have yours on, can you take it off because we will show you after the briefing how to put it on."

Make sense of that...!

After a hectic three days at home, I'm flying back out to the Mediterranean today, for a cruise on Princess Cruises' Ruby Princess, which I was lucky enough to see last November when I was at the naming ceremony in Fort Lauderdale.

I'm joining Ruby in Venice and cruising to Barcelona by way of Athens, Istanbul, Kusadasi Mykonos, Naples, Rome, Florence and Monte Carlo so this is a brilliant way to tick off some of the greatest cities in Europe on one holiday - and a rather attractive little Greek island - and without having to keep packing and unpacking bags.

Internet willing, I'll be posting my thoughts about the ship and the cities we are visiting, as well as keeping a lookout for news from the industry, so remember to keep checking in.

Just to prove that a cruise on Crystal Serenity is not all about food, it's time for some words - and more importantly some pictures - about the places we visited in the last three days of the cruise.

I said at the start of the cruise we would be visiting some drop-dead gorgeous places and I was so right. The problem with them, for other cruise lines, is that they were all tender ports. On Serenity, and with so few people on board, it was not a problem but on a ship with even 1,500 passengers it would be a real pain.

Incidentally, while on the subject of the people count, I found out that another 100 passengers were on board but not included in the official head count so we were actually 650-ish. Still outnumbered by the crew, but only just.

It was lovely in that there were never any queues for anything, but it made the fixed dining in the evening a rather sad affair, with a sea of empty tables all around.

First stop after our hectic day at sea was Taormina, or more correctly Naxos, as that's where cruise ships anchor. We landed at pier 1 (I was impressed that there were two), made our way through the terminal and into the shuttle bus for the short drive up to Taormina, which is perched in the surrounding hills.

Actually the coaches get you to a car park, from where you can walk up seven floors or take a lift up to the town, which is stuffed with beautiful buildings with equally beautiful balconies, jewellery and souvenir shops, ice-cream parlours and this authentic Roman night club!

The main claim to fame is the Teatro Greco, from where there are fabulous views over the town and surrounding countryside. Sadly they have done a terrible restoration job on it so these seats, where Ilana is sitting, is the only bit worth taking a picture of. On the positive side, I was delighted to see they still use it for plays and concerts - there were setting it up for something while we were there.

Next stop was Lipari, which was a maiden call for Crystal, which is in the "fortunate" position of sitting between a couple of volcanos - Stromboli and Vulcano.

There were any number of places selling excursions to Stromboli, but coming back about six hours after our ship was due to leave so they were not much good. And walking to Vulcano took two hours according to the ship's info (although I discovered that Christian, who gave me a wonderful deep-tissue massage, and Nick, the fitness instructor, did it in 45 minutes), which sounded too much like hard work in 90 degree heat.

So Ilana and I stayed in the town. It's a sweet little place but unbelievably expensive and after we had walked around a little, explored the castle and enjoyed the spectacle of traffic trying to dodge the tables and chairs the cafe owners simply put in out into the road, we felt we had done Lipari.

As we weighed anchor that afternoon, the captain announced we would be passing Stromboli between 10pm and 10.30pm and to look out for volcanic activity. As we were on the late sitting for dinner we were still eating as we went by and only realised the time as we bade farewell to the First Engineer, who had been hosting our table.

"Oh don't worry", I said. "They would have said if there was anything to see." How wrong can you be. Apparently there was a great show and we missed it because the ship's policy is to avoid making announcements. I'm all for cruise lines avoiding announcements for the sake of them, but when it's something a bit special like that? I'm sure I was not the only one who was very disappointed.

Our last stop before disembarking on Sunday was Sorrento, which always strikes me as the classy side of Naples. Again, where the smaller ships go because they have to tender you ashore.

The town is at the top of a cliff, which was becoming a bit of a theme, and there was a shuttle bus to take us to the top (all the shuttle buses provided by Crystal were free, which is a sign of an ultra-luxury line, but you might have to pay if you're cruising with others).

We took it up, wandered around town and then walked down to the harbour - and then went back up to town for lunch and walked down again. For the exercise, of course. And there are only so many trinket shops you can look in!

After my mammoth cruise on Ruby Princess I feel I have become something of an expert on European trains, or more specifically Italy's trains.

I would hate to tempt fate but I totally disagree with the guide I met once who told me cruise passengers should never use the Italian trains as they are so unreliable, because each one was bang on time.

But then she was guiding a ship's tour at the time, so it's in her interest to keep the cruisers paying her wages.

Based on the number of coaches waiting to whisk passengers off on their day trips, I reckon her job is safe for a while, but the number of people who are opting to do their own thing in ports is noticeably growing by leaps and bounds, which is not surprising when you look at the price difference.

Our train from Civitavecchia to Rome was €9 per person return, a bargain compared to basic Rome on your own - a coach there and back and six hours in the city (about the same as we had) - which cost $64 (about €44).

But for the extra money, of course, you also get the peace of mind that the ship won't sail without you if things do go wrong and that's still worth a lot to a lot of people.

Our train journeys took us from Naples to Sorrento and back in a very rickety old train that stopped about 35 times, which was very tedious, but at least we got a view of Pompeii along the way, from Civitacecchia to Rome and back and from Livorno to Florence and back, giving us the freedom to do as we wanted in each of the cities.

In Rome that naturally meant throwing a coin into the Trevi Fountain, visiting the Colosseum, the Pantheon and looking out over the Forum, which they have started to charge for, but they are also putting up boards around the outside to explain what the ruins are, which is a good move.

Thankfully, you can still fill your water bottles from the fountains like this for free. These are all over the city, and the water is cold and fresh. It's a sobering thought that these were there way back when Rome was an empire.

There is something very civilised about getting free water - one of the differences I really noticed between a cruise line like Crystal, which I was on at the start of August and where bottled water is free, and Princess, which I have just got off, where it costs something like $3 a bottle - plus a 15% gratuity.

If cruise lines have to charge, why not sell water for, say, $1 a bottle? They could buy it in bulk for half that so they'd still make a nice profit, but also sell masses much more than now as most people with an ounce of sense buy water ashore at the moment.

After Rome, we had another busy day in Florence. It was all a bit rushed because train times into the city are not great, but there was time enough to see the highlights and have a nice lunch as well, which is most important!

I also discovered that you can get a taxi from the port to Livorno station for €20. Get eight people in the cab and you've a one-way transfer for €2.50 per person. Much more acceptable than the €14 per person return the port was charging for a coach.

From Livorno, it was on to the jetset capital of Monaco, where we were moored near a yacht that made you realise Ruby Princess was not that big after all. And it's only the 10th or 11th (depending on what you read) biggest private yacht in the world.

My daughter Ilana so fell in love with the place, she decided we should buy a place there so we checked out a few prices. One flat looked very nice - and was a mere €28 million. Hmm. Maybe not.

While we were car spotting outside the Casino - Rolls Royces, Bentleys, a Ferrari here and there - we noticed these guys cleaning the window outside the Hotel de Paris. Surely this is the only place in the world where people wear suits to clean windows?

Two days ago I was going to write that I had been sitting next to a group of passengers booked on the Chef's Table for dinner one evening on Ruby Princess and tell you what I saw of their experience, but things suddenly changed and thanks to a cancellation my partner and I ended up being two of the select few on our cruise to take part in this special dining option.

It only happens three times per cruise, and for just 10 passengers each time, who each pay $75 to take part.

That first evening it happened to be a group of friends, all from Australia, who said it had been worth every penny as they rolled out of the dining room after their feast. When Mark and I took part, we were with four other couples, all from the US, who had never met until that point.

"It can be either a group or people who have never met, but always we are over-subscribed," Generoso, the Maitre d' and Princess Cruises' very own Mr Fixit, explained.

I call him that, by the way, because he organised for us to sample the breakfast in Sabatini's, the Italian trattoria, even though it is normally reserved only for passengers in suites.

It's a relatively new thing for Princess and a wonderfully peaceful experience, away from the maddening crowds in the self-service, but in a room with a view (as it's on deck 16), unlike the main dining room, which is lovely. Naturally the food is cooked to order so it's hot, and of course served in style. If you're not sure whether to book a suite or not, this is the reason to do so!

The Chef's Table evening starts by the lifts outside the dining room, where we donned chef's coats before being escorted into the galley to meet executive chef Joel and start on part one of the feast - a glass (or two) of Champagne and five appetisers while we were standing in a corner of the galley that had been decorated just for us by pastry chef Andrzej from Poland.

TV's best loved fox, Basil Brush, has started a summer season at sea, sailing around the Med with casual cruiseline Ocean Village's original ship, the eponymous Ocean Village.

He will be performing live (!) for kids of all ages and making himself available for photos, naturally wearing his trademark tweed cape, waistcoat and cravat.

If you fancy a cruise with the foxy fella, call 0845 358 5000 or contact your ABTA agent.

Basil Brush® © 2009 I Owen/P Firmin/Entertainment Rights PLC

The last time I was in Istanbul (also with Princess Cruises strangely enough), there was a queue of guides sitting outside the Blue Mosque waiting to snag an unsuspecting tourist.

That'll be me then.

"Are you English," one asked, as Ilana and I headed towards the entrance. Rather than say yes, and then have to shake him off, I responded in German, hoping he would shrug and turn to the next person.

Big mistake. Turned out "are you English" were the only three words of English he knew but he was fluent in German. We ended up having a very interesting, I think (my German wasn't nearly as good as his) tour of the Blue Mosque before being whisked off to his employer's carpet shop in the hope we would buy one and he would get his commission.

All that has gone. When Ilana and I arrived in the city on Tuesday, on day six of our Med cruise on Ruby Princess, we found a well-organised system with plastic carrier bags provided for your shoes (you enter and exit from different doors so you carry them with you), shawls for women in shorts or vest tops and not a "guide" in sight.

It's an incredible place, both from the outside and inside, where there are 20,000 blue tiles - or that's what said in the book. I didn't bother to count.

Even more incredible, though, is the Grand Bazaar, where 4,000 vendors do battle for business. What I find bizarre about the bazaar, and about the nearby spice market, is that they all seem to be selling the same stuff - carpets, t-shirts, bags, cushions, jewellery and spices, of course. How does anyone make a living?

As I said, this was day six of the cruise. Day five was Kusadasi, from where the cultural lot went to Ephesus and the rest went shopping. Actually Ilana went swimming - for €2.50 you get a sunbed, use of a shower and toilet, and access to the water, which is a great deal and it's all kept very clean.

Day four was Piraeus, from where we took the train into Athens - €3 for an all-day card, which is fantastic value. As it was Sunday, there was maintenance work on the line so after three stops on the train we had to swap to a replacement bus service (sound familiar?), but at least it all worked.

As we sailed away, smoke from the fires north of the city was clearly hanging over Athens, fanned by the strong winds that had nearly blown us off the Acropolis. Scary. The winds were due to calm down by now. I hope they have, so the Greeks can get the fires under control.

Princess Cruises might have done away with Captain's evenings, when the masters of their vessels had to shake hands and be photographed with an endless procession of passengers on the gala evenings, but that doesn't mean they get an easy life.

No, instead they have to greet and have their photo taken with every passenger who wants to pour some fizz into the Champagne waterfall. Or at least Captain Tony Draper, the master of the Ruby Princess, had to on our first formal night.

Seemed a great idea until I saw the queue...

...so I contented myself with a captain-less picture of me in front of the waterfall instead.

Can you imagine the patience needed to get all those glasses set up? Or being the person who knocked one while the tower was being built? And I certainly would not like to be the one having to clean up the mess afterwards!

This is a strange tale, and certainly not a lot of fun, from the line that likes to calls its vessels the Fun Ships.

Chris Harvey and family were stopped when disembarking from Carnival Freedom at the end of their cuise, taken back to their cabin and accused - very nicely, apparently - of causing damage to the edge of the desk.

They were given two options - accept responsibility (which no doubt really meant give us some money to pay for the damage) or be banned from Carnival for life.

Now I don't know about anyone else, but I've often noticed minor damage in the cabins I'm staying in - a mark on a carpet, a scuff on the desk - and never really thought too much about it. I will now. In fact, after this I imagine everyone will be rushing round taking pictures before their luggage is unpacked to use as evidence. Just in case.

Anyway, back to the Harveys. They were adamant they had not caused the damage (and later found a picture taken early on in the cruise that proved they were telling the truth) so they chose to be banned.

When they got home, Chris posted their experiences (and the picture) on line. The story was picked up by a US journalist, who contacted Carnival for a comment. Within an hour, the line had apologised and the ban was lifted.

The thing is, having been treated like that, do they really want to cruise with Carnival again? After all, there are plenty more ships in the sea.

I was down in Southampton yesterday, getting my first glimpse of Seven Seas Voyager since they spent millions of dollars on it earlier this year.

The Prime 7 steakhouse is the big new thing - literally. Just look at the sizes of these meats on the menu: 10oz New York strip, 18oz rib-eye steak (OK, so it is bone in but even so) and 32oz Porterhouse Steak. That's for two people, but that's still 16oz apiece. There was also 10oz of New Zealand lamb chops (just imagine the size of the lambs!) and a 14oz pork dish.

The sizes are pretty amazing but even more amazing is the fact this is all free. When Regent says it is all-inclusive, they really mean it. There are no cover charges or gratuities - and remember drinks are included in the price as well.

I was discussing Regent's prices with some travel agents over lunch and they are pretty incredible when you factor in all the things that are included.

Prime 7 looks really lovely - it was just a shame I didn't get to eat there. I guess it wouldn't have done much for the diet but I could have waived it in the interests of research!

There's also a new pizza outlet and a new coffee bar where you can tank up on as much caffeine as you want for free. Next door there's a counter where you can help yourself to cold meats and fruit. I could have lingered longer there too.

As the ship was pretty full I was only able to see a couple of suites - the lowest category one, which is what your average cruise line calls a mini suite, and this Master suite.

It has a living room (top), a main bedroom off to the left (middle) and another to the right. And just look at the size of the bathroom (bottom). That's for the "Masters". People in the bedroom to the left get their own bathroom, a bit smaller.

Yeah, I reckon I could just about manage in there.

One of the biggest disappointments on my recent Med cruise on Ruby Princess was the entertainment in the atrium, especially after I saw some great cameo acts there on Ruby when it launched last year and also on Crown Princess in the Baltic last year.

This time we had two stilt walkers dressed as pirates, who appeared again and again, really just having their pictures taken with passengers, which was deadly dull.

But just as we were getting to the end of the cruise, these two appeared - duo Claudio, an act that basically involved him throwing her about at breathtaking speed.

This balancing on him is nothing. Several times he threw her way up into the air - and caught her luckily! - and one time I swear he nearly dashed her brains out when he swept her, upside-down, between his legs, centimetres away from the floor.

I was so amazed at his strength and her absolute faith in him that I was there for each of their performances. I also saw them in Monaco, posing for a picture outside the Royal Palace, he holding her in the air with one hand.

Guess standing side by side for a picture is just so mundane.

Am I the only one who spots a similarity between the new test-drive lunches Thomson Cruises is launching next year and my idea about excursions to ships?

OK, they're not quite the same as Thomson Cruises is only opening its gangway to land-lubbers on resort-based holidays booked with either Thomson or First Choice, not cruisers who want to take a look at another ship.

But the philosophy is the same: Make use of port days to show off your ship to new potential passengers.

It's good to know someone is taking notes!

Tempted to see what all the cruising hype is about or just planning to book your next holiday at sea? Then get on down to your local travel agents next week and see what offers they have in store.

From September 20-27 it's National Cruise Week - seven days when the cruiselines go mad and offer some amazing prices.

* More than £650 off the cost of a nine-night Caribbean cruise with Windstar departing November 21 2009, bringing the from price down to £2,087 per person including flights. And if you book next week you'll also receive £300 credit to spend on board.

* Get a free cabin upgrade with Carnival Cruise Lines by quoting "National Cruise Week" at the time of booking. Prices from £969 for nine nights in the Caribbean including flights.

* Orion Expedition Cruises is offering 20% off a six-night Great Barrier Reef voyage departing November 20 2009.

* Save £300 per stateroom when you book a Princess Cruises' Mediterranean voyage on Ruby Princess. Prices from £1,149 per person including flights and transfers.

* Save £1,000 per couple on Viking River Cruises Imperial Jewels of China cruise. Prices from £2,135 per person including flights, transfers and excursions.

The list goes on and on, and your cruise agent will have them all. But don't think too long. Remember it all ends September 27.

Is this a first? Fred Olsen Cruise Lines' Black Prince is making a maiden visit to Chatham in Kent today - and bidding farewell to the port at the same time.

The ship is retiring from UK service next month because it would be too expensive to make all the changes needed for it to meet the SOLAS (Safety of Life at Sea) 2010 regulations.

Black Prince is currently on a 10-night voyage around the UK and Ireland. After that there will be two more ordinary sailings, before it sets off on its farewell cruise - 14 nights from Southampton to the Canary Islands and back departing October 2.

The internet is showing space on the cruise so there's still a chance to be on board for this historic goodbye. Prices start from £1,395.

I'm delighted to have received an invitation for a farewell lunch on board in Southampton on October 16, when Black Prince returns from that last cruise. Then it really will be goodbye as the ship is off to start a new life in Venezuela.

I've never understood why anyone would choose to go on a cruise when they don't know where they are going. Magical mystery cruise sounds exciting, but don't most people choose their cruise based on destination? A little hard if it's all a secret.

And how awful if you were to end up in a real dump of a place you've visited once and vowed never to return to!

Such concerns haven't put off Saga, which has offered mystery cruises for the past three years and has another in 2011, and now Hebridean Island Cruises is jumping on the nautical equivalent of the bandwagon.

All you're can know is that the Hebridean Surprise cruise, on the 49-passenger Hebridean Princess, departs from Oban on October 8 and returns on October 13. Only one man on the ship will know where you'll be going in between (or so they say) and that's the captain.

It's a no-brainer that you'll be visiting various Scottish islands and given that it's Scotland and October I would suggest it's a good bet you'll need warm clothes and waterproofs.

After that, who knows?

You'll just have to sit back, relax and enjoy the free drinks while you wait to see where you end up next. It's a hard life, isn't it?

Prices for the Hebridean Surprise start from £2,091 per person. Call 01756 704704 or click here for more information.

My cruise in the Black Sea on Princess Cruises' Royal Princess is like a never-ending history lesson with stories about this tzar or that tzarina, Stalin and Lenin.

It's all fascinating stuff, especially for me as I devoted four years of my life to learning who did what to whom and why in Russia for the past 400 years and now I am able to see it all come alive.

Thursday's history lesson was in Yalta, where I did an excursion to the Livadia Palace. The first half, on the ground floor, is dedicated to the conference, held here, where Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt met between February 4 and 11 1945 and carved up Europe after the Second World War.

This is not the actual table where they sat, but you can see the plaque with Churchill's name written in Russian and some pictures taken at the time.

The second half of the tour takes place upstairs, where you can see the former imperial rooms photographs of the last tzar, Nicholas II, and his family.

As the tour ended, our guide raced through an explanation about how the family was imprisoned after the revolution and then murdered, with their bodies burned and buried in the forest near Ekaterinburg.

She ended with the words "and on that tragic note, it's time for the shopping I promised you" as she bustled past us and out of the door. Somehow I don't think tragedy was really on her mind.

Under the Soviets, the palace became a sanatorium for the workers and during the war it was headquarters for the Nazis who occupied the area - and sadly looted most of the furniture so there is very little that is original. After the war, Stalin added it to his list of summer residences. It later became a sanatorium again and in 1991, after the fall of the Soviet Union and when the Ukraine gained independence, it became a museum.

And a very popular one with the locals as well as visiting cruisers judging by the number of groups being shown around while we were there.

Today - Friday - the history lesson was in Odessa, famous for the Potemkin Steps that featured in the Eisenstein film Battleship Potemkin.

The city was founded in 1794 by Catherine the Great, providing a warm weather port for the Russian Empire. A visit to her statue, put up just a couple of years ago to replace one dedicated to the sailors from the aforementioned battleship, is on every excursion itinerary.

I'm told both Stalin and Hitler also had statues here at one time or another.

Odessa is a very cosmopolitan city, with a nice, bright feel and an eclectic mix of architecture in Greek, Baroque, Classic and Renaissance style. Underneath is the longest network of underground tunnels in the world - 2,500km if laid in a straight line.

There's also this lovely park, very French, with this monument to a chair. Apparently if you sit on it you will become a millionaire. Naturally I had to give it a go. I'll let you know if it works!

I also loved the Mother-in-Law Bridge, where newly-weds put a lock to signify their eternal love and mothers-in-law stroll every day to make sure it hasn't been undone. Well it's a good story anyway.

Now we're on the way to Varna in Bulgaria. More on that - and Royal Princess - to come.

A coincidence that the day I was joining Princess Cruises' Royal Princess news came through that the first Royal Princess, now called Artemis and operated by P&O Cruises, had been sold.

It officially goes on October 6, but is being charted back by P&O to complete its 2010 itineraries and 2011 world cruise. It will finally be going on April 12 2012.

New owner Artania Shipping will be then be chartering the vessel to German operator Phoenix Reisen.

Sochi, in Russia,  proved an interesting place, though probably not one that is going to attract too many tourists if only because of the hoops you have to jump through to get a Russian visa (as I was flying in to Sochi I needed a visa; if you arrive on a ship and only go out on a ship's excursion, you don't need one).

Having said that, it is the host city for the Winter Olympics 2014 so they are going to have to learn to cope with lots of visitors, even if only for a couple of weeks.

Our guide for the day, Elena, was not impressed that her adopted city was wasting so much money on the Olympics. Somehow I felt a certain kinship with her.

Elena was originally from Novgorod in the much colder north but has lived in Sochi for 23 years and was explaining how strange it had seemed when she first arrived that you didn't need fur coats, hats or boots in winter.

I was in Sochi to join Princess Cruises' Royal Princess, but had a night in the city first, which meant I had to be registrered. Here's my registration document. There is still a lot of the Soviet Union left in Russia.

I can't say the town is packed with must-see sights, but there were a few little gems - the tall apartment building they call Titanic because it is sinking (strangely they are struggling to sell the flats in it!) and the central market, packed with stalls selling fruit, veg and these great slabs of meat.

You'll notice the health and safety police have not been in town. I'll simply observe that the pork and chicken I ate at a restaurant the night before was the tastiest I've had for a long time. Could there be a link?

We also visited Matzesta, what the Russians call a sanatorium (an unfortunate word, I think, as really it's a spa hotel, but of the Russian variety, without the marble, whispered tones and calming music, I suspect), and sniffed the sulphur water.
 
Words cannot describe how awful it was - and people actually immerse themselves in this ... and out of choice! It's supposed to have great healing properties. I suspect they make sure they get better to avoid a second dip.

The highlight of Sochi had to be Stalin's dacha, just one of the many dachas he had around what was then the Soviet Union.

I did enjoy seeing the house and hearing Elena talk about him and his family, but there was something rather unpleasant about the waxwork of Stalin at his desk. Even worse, people were having their picture taken with it. I made do with the plaque at the entrance.

The tour over, I boarded Royal Princess and we set sail across the Back Sea. Next stop Yalta, where I'll be visiting the Livadia Palace.

It's famous as the site of the Yalta conference between Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin after the last war but for me it will always be the home built by Nicholas II, the last tzar of Russia.

But more of that later.

I'm on my way to Sochi in Russia, via Moscow, where I'll be joining Princess Cruises' 700-passenger Royal Princess for a quick jaunt around the Black Sea.

The last time I cruised on this ship it was called Minerva II and operated by Swan Hellenic, so it will be interesting to see what has changed since it became part of the Princess fleet and how it differs - or not - from Princess' big ships.

It will also be interesting to see how Royal Princess is looking compared to sister ship Regatta, owned by Oceania Cruises, which I visited in Dover on Saturday. Both were once part of the long-defunct Renaissance Cruises.

In its first incarnation, Royal Princess was called R8, which is not the most inspired name for a cruise ship but at least it is less confusing that trying to remember which Freedom (Voyager or Liberty) belongs to which cruiseline.

I'll be spending Tuesday night in Sochi and have a day in the city tomorrow - I'm hoping we'll be able to visit Stalin's dacha - before joining the ship and then it's off to the seaside resort of Yalta and the city of Odessa, both in the Ukraine, and then on to Varna in Bulgaria, from where I'll be flying home.

As always, internet willing, I'll be bringing you daily reports and pictures from all these places, as well as from Royal Princess so keep looking in.

It really was a quick look on Saturday, when Oceania Cruises' Regatta was in Dover for a turnaround - on at 10.45am, off at 2.30pm, but long enough to remind me why I like these former Renaissance ships just in time for Wednesday, when I will be cruising on one of her sisters - Princess Cruises' Royal Princess in the Black Sea.

But more of that later.

It's an exciting time for Oceania, which has the three sisters (the others are Insignia and Nautica, also former R vessels) but is also launching a new ship, Marina, next year. Or at least that's the plan, but I gather there is some debate going on as to whether it's a good idea to launch at the end of 2010 when people's minds are on the festive seas, or wait and come out in early 2011, when hopefully they are thinking of holidays - and specifically cruising.

Whichever it is, as Marina will be almost twice as big as the sisters, holding 1,252 passengers instead of 684, you can expect to hear a lot more about Oceania in the coming months as sales step up a gear.

Back to Regatta....

I was on the ship with several agents and we managed to see a standard balcony cabin - OK but quite small - and a Penthouse (pictured below), which is a real step up in size and presentation and come with a butler. Apparently these are popular with passengers who usually travel with the ultra-luxury lines because they are a good size, but quite a bit cheaper.

Well they should be because you don't get the free drinks (alcoholic and soft), although for summer 2010, Oceania is including soft drinks and bottled water in the price.

Bernie Carter, Oceania's UK sales and marketing director, said the standard suites on Marina will be close in size to the Regatta penthouses, which should make them very attractive to the ultra-luxury market.

The picture below is one of the Owners' Suites, a nice-sized room at the aft end of the ship, and below that the speciality restaurants, Toscana and Polo Grill. Every passenger gets an "allowance" in terms of the number of times they can eat in these restaurants, but they can book more evenings if there is space. There is no charge.

Bernie tells me they are just trialling a new system that will allow passengers to book the restaurants on line. "We don't like queues," he said, as we passed passengers who had just come on board standing in line to make their reservations. I can see why.

Marina, incidentally, will have these two speciality restaurants and two new ones - Red Ginger for pan-Asian dishes and Jacques, for French "comfort" food. Not sure exactly what that is but I'm thinking (probably incorrectly) cassoulet and tartiflette. These will also be free.

One of my favourite things on Regatta was these double loungers - they looked so inviting in the Dover sunshine (yes, the sun does shine there now and then). I also loved the library - it's where you get the real country house-style feel these ships are known for.

I have to admit the food was pretty good too - and they did a great job pulling out all the stops when it transpired the ship did not have my dietery requests after all.

"The best food at sea" is how Bernie describes it. But then he is a bit biased.

The winning cruiselines might love it and it might make a story for the papers but at least one person is totally unimpressed with the latest results from Cruise.co.uk's regular survey of the "best" cruise lines and their ships, food, entertainment and service.

"...it must be said that some of its results are highly dubious. For example, for "best cruise line" the ranking was Cunard, Thomson, Ocean Village and Princess. No mention at all of Crystal, Regent, Seabourn or Silversea. Since when did Ocean Village become the third best cruise line in the world (or even in the UK)?"

Mark Tre of Cybercruises, who wrote this, points out, as I have in the past, that the scoring is highly flawed, biased in favour of the lines that atttract the most reviews.

Take that best cruise line category, where Cunard came top, Thomson second and Ocean Village and Princess were equal third.

"How anyone might accept that Thomson could ever be the second best cruise line and that Ocean Village ties with Princess for third is ludicrous .... surely "best" is not the way to decribe these results. "Most popular" would be more like it."

I have to say I totally agree. Or maybe be even more specific - "most popular among the Brits".

The piece continues, dissecting the best food, best service and best accommodation categories, and finally concluding that the whole thing is a publicity exercise for Cruise.co.uk.

Surprise surprise.

But it succeeded. Even the Telegraph and Travel Weekly (not written by me!) ran with the story. And let's face it, so did Mark Tre, whoever he might be!

One of the most interesting comments to come out of this week's Cruise Forum at the Travel Convention in Barcelona is the news that Royal Caribbean International is "evaluating" its tipping policy for the UK market.

Robin Shaw, Royal's UK & Ireland vice-president and managing director, was adamant that they are always evaluating everything, but it seems something might be happening on the tipping front because as a result of the mean old Brits' refusal to tip, crew are not earning the kind of money they have come to love and expect from the Americans.

It's an issue for the cruiseline whatever that sailing, but an even bigger one when it has ships cruising from the UK packed with non-tipping Brits. This year, that means Independence of the Seas and Celebrity Cruises' new ship Celebrity Equinox, both be sailing from Southampton from April 2010.

Interestingly, I'd highlighted gratuities as one of the things Brits really don't like about cruising in my Q&A session at the forum, just before Shaw took part in a panel discussion, and to prove the point I read out a few quotes from people. This sums up the general feeling nicely:

"Trust me, all you have to do to find out how to remove the prepaid tips is sit near to reception for the first and last three days of your cruise. Here you will find 85% of all cruisers removing their pre-paids. People don't want to be told how to tip on a cruiseline the same way people wouldn't accept pre-paid tips on a taxi fare. There is a waiting list to serve on a cruise ship and at every port of call you can hardly get on the shuttle buses for staff carying cases of beer and bottles of spirits. They are hardly starving."

What could Royal Caribbean do? Well your guess is as good as mine, but building gratuities into the cruise price and selling the holiday as including all meals, entertainment AND gratuities makes most sense to me.

And then they could take the 15% charge off drinks as well so you can help yourself to a beer or Coke from the minibar without paying a tip to, well, who? The man whose job it is to stock the minibars, I suppose.

Sure, people would have to accept they must pay a little more for their cruise, but in return they wouldn't have the embarassment of having to go to reception to ask for their tips to be removed. Passenger is happy, crew are happy, cruise line is happy.

Royal Caribbean would get lots of credit and then all the other cruiselines that use tips as a way to remunerate their crew could follow suit.

I fear it is all but a dream. But it was a nice one.

Fantastic news greeted the cruise industry here in Barcelona for the Travel Convention this morning as the Passenger Shipping Association revealed 5% more Britons will have a holiday at sea this year.

That's despite the fact we have been locked in the worst recession known to mankind for the past year.

I'm especially delighted as only last month I forecast there would be growth this year, flying in the face of the PSA's nil growth prediction. And I said in in front of two people from the PSA so there's proof!

Sadly my forecasting skills let me down badly when it came to predicting what sbjects would be covered during the Q&A session with Carnival Corp chairman and chief executive officer Micky Arison here in Barcelona.

Was he asked the prospects for a future new-build programme, the need for more capacity, about what is happening in Alaska, about whether he will bring a Carnival ship back to the UK - or at least the Med - in 2011.

No. Moderator Jeremy Vine asked him about "that" fight on P&O Cruises' Ventura, about the problems of discounting so much that the "wrong" sort of passengers are able to cruise, and why Carnival vessels became known as the Fun Ships.

What a wasted opportunity. I know I'm not the only one who was disappointed not to hear some real insights for the future from a man with so much power and influence in the world of cruising. Judging by some of his responses, I reckon Arison was a bit bewildered by it all a well.

But the interview did allow him to show us what a great sense of humour he has.

Asked which is the biggest cruise ship, he admitted he couldn't recall, but that "Queen Mary 2 was up there". When asked whether the industry could have been "knocked for six" by the recession, he admitted he didn't know what that meant. "Smashed", Vine translated. "That means being drunk to me," Arison smiled.

Every destination has its day. Unfortunately for Alaska, this would appear neither its day, month nor year - or two.

True, Disney is sending a ship there for 2011, but one ship in against the fact that Carnival Corporation, which has a weighty presence in the 49th State through Princess Cruises and Holland America Line, has already reduced capacity for 2010. and is considering pulling more ships out? And that Norwegian Cruise Line and Royal Caribbean International have also cut capacity for 2010?

I would not like to be involved in the tourism industry there right now.

Carnival Corp chairman Mickey Arison blames the high cost of doing business in Alaska for the fact that more of ships could be pulled. He reckons the vessels can make more money elsewhere. It's understandable then, but a shame.

I had a great cruise in Alaska a few years ago with Princess. It's something very different from the Mediterranean and Caribbean, and surprisingly foreign - even the Americans on my cruise found it so - given it is actually part of the US.

But destinations come and go. Just look at what is happening to Antarctica. It was the must-go place for a few years, but now it's on the way down because those who wanted to go have been and it is very expensive, both for passengers and cruise lines. Result? Voyages of Discovery and Spirit of Adventure have left already, Swan Hellenic will be quitting after this winter.

I have no doubt it will bounce back, just as Alaska will, but it will take a few years and a fresh generation of cruisers to come along looking for something new.

The $50 head tax Alaska imposed on cruise passengers has been cited as a key reason for its downturn. It probably didn't help, but are we seriously to believe that people who could afford to go on a cruise there, with all the attendant flying, could not afford an extra $50 per person tax?

The Alaska Cruise Association has filed a lawsuit challenging the tax, presumably hoping that if it is repealed people will flood back. Somehow I doubt it. Not for a while anyway.

I expect we'll be hearing more of Arison's thoughts on the future of cruising in Alaska tomorrow, as well as many other cruise-related issues, when he takes to the stage on the opening day of the Travel Convention in Barcelona.

I will be there to hear what he says of course, and on Thursday I'll be on the stage myself, in my capacity as the Telegraph Travel's cruise corresponent, during the spin-off Cruise Forum on Royal Caribbean International's Navigator of the Seas.

My subject? What consumers like and don't like about cruising. If anyone has any thoughts for me to pass on to the cruise lines before then, do let me know.

I do hope the woman deemed responsible for the outbreak of a norovirus-like infection on Fred Olsen's Balmoral last month doesn't read Gene Sloan's Cruise Blog.

Suggestions as to what should happen to her range from sending her the bill for everyone's ruined cruise - the illness spread to more than 100 people and eventually the ship returned to Dover a day early so it could be thoroughly cleaned - to well, sending her the bill. Hit her in the wallet "pour encourager les autres", as the French would say.

It's a strange story in so much as Fred Olsen's marketing director Nigel Lingard has said publically that they identified the cause of the viral outbreak - a woman who came on in Dover. He also told the Scotman she had been spotted "sneaking out" of her cabin when she was supposed to be in quarantine.

It begs the question why she was allowed on the ship if she was unwell. Equally, why whoever saw her "sneak out" did not challenge her, or at least report the situation to the poeple in charge.

But let's leave that one for a moment. It's the comments on Sloan's story that made me smile - the 21st-century equivalent of being hung, drawn and quartered (and so much less messy).

"They should fine her carelessness"

"The inconsiderate b#%& should have to pay for everyone's cruise ... The only way people like this learn is through their wallet."

"A score of lashes and a lusty keelhauling clearly dictated!!! On a more practical tac... send the wench THE BILL!!!!!"

"I hope that this greedy, selfish hag gets a bill from the cruise line for the lost revenue and the additional expenses incurred by the passengers who had to disembark early."

Wonder if Fred will circulate her details to other cruise lines, as insurance companies do when they have identified a fraudster? Either way, I suspect it will be a long time before she dares to show her face on a Fred Olsen ship again!

About two minutes after embarking Royal Princess in Sochi, Russia, last week I got a real sense I had been here before.

I had, of course, not only because I had sailed on the ship when it was Swan Hellenic's Minerva II, but also because just three days before, I had been on Oceania's Regatta in Dover, one of seven sisters built for the now defunct Renaissance Cruises (before becoming Minerva II, Royal bore the unlovely name of R8).

It's amazing how little they have changed on Royal Princess since its Minerva days. Inevitably what changes there have been have taken it from being a one-off British niche discovery-type cruise ship to a American vessel that has to appeal to our friends over the Pond.

So where there used to be a collection of novels by the bar on deck five there is now a photo gallery. At dinner and as you disembark at each port, happy snappers are there to capture the moment.

I forget what the bar itself was called, but it has been renamed the Casino Bar, which gives a hint as to what has been installed there. And what were all those pictures I saw stacked up in the Royal Lounge? The dreaded art auction has found its way on board.

When I was on Minerva II, I got chatting to a lovely couple who were telling me why they liked Swan. "Do you know, they have bingo on P&O," the last word said in a whisper so no one else might hear and be offended. What would he think of art auctions!

The really big change, and the one I don't understand, is that open dining has gone and dinner is now served in two sittings. If Swan could operate an open dining system, and Oceania can do it on Royal's sister ships, why can't Princess?

On Swan, rather than being able to pick who you dined with you just turned up when you wanted to eat and joined the next available table (although of course friends and family could turn up together and therefore sit with each other). It worked a treat as you had different dining companions each night.

Incidentally, it's still the way they do things on Swan Hellenic and Spirit on Adventure, which speaks volumes in my book.

Minerva II had two additional restaurants on deck 10, which were free but I seem to remember you needed to book as they were very popular. These have become Princess' trademark speciality restaurants - a Sterling Steakhouse on one side and Sabatini's on the other.

They are open alternate evenings, which seems to make sense when you are on a ship with just 700 passengers, and cost an additional $15 and £20 per person respectively.

I ate in the steakhouse and have to say the food was fabulous and cooked to perfection. I'm not a great fan of the way they present you with the uncooked lumps of meat at the start of the meal to help you make up your mind what to order, but here's Alexandru from Romania doing his stuff anyway.

Princess is also offering the Chef's Table dinner that I have already told you about and balcony dining - either a Champagne breakfast ($28 per couple) or a Lobster dinner ($100 per couple).

It is also installed its trademark Lotus Spa - I treated myself to a fabulous 50 minutes of reflexology - and there is now wi-fi throughout the ship, which might not impress too many people but for which I was eternally grateful.

The country-house hotel-style library is unchanged (but different books as all the Swan ones are now on Minerva). A couple of elderly gents were in there while I was nosing around, discussing how much they liked this little hideaway and I can see why. It is a lovely quiet area.

The top deck looked largely unchanged - sadly with no teak deck or loungers as you get on Oceania, but then there were none before either.

And I was so disappointed there were none of the double sun loungers I spotted on Regatta - especially as we had such unexpectedly glorious sunbathing weather each day as we cruised around the Black Sea.

Wonder if it's still an Indian summer if you are in the Ukraine?

Anyone still mourning the passing of Hebridean Spirit, sold off by the then Hebridean International Cruises last March, should sign up for the Mediterranean Spring cruise on Swan Hellenic next April.

The 13-day voyage on Minerva from Cadiz to Piraeus, the port for Athens, has been designated a Hebridean Spirit reunion cruise, to be joined by Marjorie Baker, former tour manager on Spirit, and Michael Smith, a former guest speaker on the ship.

The cruise is from April 7 to 19 2010 and prices start from £1,295 per person including flights, transfers and gratuities. Unfortunately it might be a Spirit reunion, but it doesn't look as if they will also include drinks in the price, as was the case with Hebridean!

For more details call 0845 246 9700 or visit the Swan website.

Hebridean International Cruises is now Hebridean Island Cruises and owned by All Leisure Group, which also owns Swan Hellenic. It operates just one ship, the 49-passenger Hebridean Princess.

It was a sad day for Fred Olsen on Friday, as a lucky few of us gathered on board Black Prince for cruising's answer to the Last Supper - the Last Lunch.

After 43 years of sterling service for Fred, the ship has fallen foul of new SOLAS (Safety of Life at Sea) regulations coming in in 2010 and been sold to a company in Venezuela, where it will be operating three and four-night cruises in coastal waters (as it will never be more than 12 miles from the coast, the SOLAS regs don't apply).

Black Prince has an interesting past - it was built in 1966 and combined the roles of summer North Sea passenger and car ferry and winter joint passenger and cargo vessel to the Canary Islands until 1986, when its ferry days ended and it became a fully-fledged cruise ship.

At that time there were 100,000 cruise passengers in the UK and Fred Olsen carried 10,000 of them, marketing director Nigel Lingard reminded us. Today, there are 1.55 million British cruisers and Fred Olsen carries 100,000 of them. Times have certainly changed.

While we were saying our fond farewells over drinks and lunch, workers were busy painting out names and packing up everything that was not nailed down, including about £1 million of artwork. Goodness knows how they were going to get this one off the wall, but they have to - it's allegedly worth "a six-figure sum".

All the art is going into storage in Oslo, while everything else - crockery, cutlery, glassware and so on - is going into a warehouse in Southampton until such time as it is needed again.

And it will be one day, it seems, as Fred Olsen has eyes on a new-build - or at least it did until the euro went wild. If the currency ever returns to normal, the plan is to build a ship that holds around 1,500 passengers and has lots of balconies.

Passenger Shipping Association director Bill Gibbons added his memories of cruising on Black Prince to the farewell speeches. Something about a rubber ring and split swimming trunks. Enough. This is a family blog after all.

Provided all the money is transfers according to plan, Fred Olsen will hand over the keys to the new owner on Tuesday but the ship will remain laid up in Southampton until October 25, when it will leave the UK for the last time.

As Lingard said: "A sad moment but life moves on."

Of the four ships in Barcelona last week during the Travel Convention, the only one I did not know was Thomson Cruises' Thomson Destiny so it was good to have a few hours on board, eating - the food was very good and wow, what a lot of it! - drinking and even finding time for a quick look around.

It's an older ship, built in 1982, and the first thing that struck me was the big corridors. Very much the style in those days when cruise ships were so much simpler. Somewhere to eat, a coup[le of lounges and that's you lot. Oh, and you can have big corridors too.

It would have been interesting to see how big (or small) the cabins were, but it wasn't possible as they were all occupied.

Destiny is currently the biggest ship in the Thomson fleet - 37,773 tons and with room for 1,450 passengers - but that will changes in April next year when the 1,506-passenger Costa Europa becomes Thomson Dream.

But things could be changing anyway, even without the arrival of the new ship. Having done a U-turn and decided to keep the more casual Island Cruises as a separate cruise line, TUI's director of cruise UK and Ireland David Selby is keen to build up the brand.

Thomson Celebration and Spirit are sister ships and unlikely to be separated, and Dream is a nice fit with both as, like them, it used to be a Holland America ship. So apart from taking on additional tonnage, that leaves Destiny.

Don't expect anything to happen immediately though. Selby reminds me that Thomson took Destiny on in 2005, on a six-year charter so decisions on its renewal or otherwise have to be made before plans move any further.

But remember, you heard it here first.

Here are a few picture from the Destiny. I took the top one as I was so intrigued by the name. Klahoma lounge. I was even struggling to say it. Then I discovered that bit at the beginning was an "O"!

You can also see the Can Can show lounge, the amazingly wide corridor outside the lift and some of outside deck space. I was surprised to see a large - for British ships - casino. Apparently as long as you don't ask for big bucks, the Brits will give it a go.

It's been almost 10 years since I last cruised with Disney Cruise Line, so not surprisingly I've found one or two things have changed since boarding Disney Wonder yesterday.

There is now a big screen by the Goofy pool, a much bigger gym and flat-screen TVs and wi-fi in the cabins - a huge change as actually there wasn't any wi-fi at all on the ship back in 2000. OK, so that last one probably doesn't excite too many people but it's great for me while blogging.

Far more interesting, though, is that soft drinks are now included in the cruise price - almost. They are free with dinner and there are soda stations on deck nine in the Beachside Blanket Buffet and by the pools, where you can help yourself to Coke, Sprite, water, fruit punches and the like. I am told by my daughter that they are also free in Aloft, the teen club in one of the stacks at the top of the ship.

In fact, the only time you have to pay for fizzy pop is if you order it from a bar or room service.

Given Disney is supposed to be the ultimate in family cruising, it is a very welcome development for anyone travelling with kids (although I noticed there were more adults than kids flocking around the soda station today!).

Other family-friendly ships have soda packages - you buy one and get free drinks for the duration of the cruise - but they can put a £35 or so hole in the budget (especially now the pound is so weak). Not a fortune maybe, but multiply that by two or three for a family and it starts to hurt.

Now all I need is for alcohol to be included. But I suspect that is just a Disney Dream!

It's been a mad week and another is to follow.

Last Saturday last week I flew to Antigua for a few days at the beautiful Blue Waters Hotel. Lovely place but very strange for me as there was not a cruise ship in sight. I even went to the port in St John's to see if any were in.

Of course it's a bit early in the season, but it was interesting to see the capital now has a proper harbour mall area with expensive jewellery and diamond shops - why do they think that's what cruise passengers want to buy? - but also a market with stalls selling the usual t-shirts, baseball caps, bracelets, necklaces and other trinkets. Oh and a Cheers! bar.

That's all new since I was last there 16 years ago.

An overnight flight on Thursday got me home for Friday night, then today (that's Saturday again) I am about to head back over the Atlantic for one night at Walt Disney World before joining Disney Wonder on Sunday for a four-night Caribbean cruise.

I'll be visiting Nassau, Castaway Cay and there'll be a day at sea before returning to Port Canavaral. From there, I am flying to New York for one night to hear more details about new ship Disney Dream, launching in 2011.

Disney is big news for the UK right now as Disney Magic will be based in Dover next summer, sailing 12-night cruises to the Baltic. Then there are the two new, and bigger, sister ships - Disney Dream launching in 2011 and Disney Fantasy in 2012 - which will increase Disney's capacity hugely and means they need to open a few more markets. Hence the Dover cruises.

They'll certainly be an easy way for the Brits to get on board and see for themselves how the Disney magic works at sea.

But that's all to come. In the meantime, internet willing, I'll be reporting back on what it's like to cruise with Mickey and co. So stay tuned, as they say.

Got any P&O Cruises' bits and bobs lying around the house? Well now's the time to turn them to good use.

The cruise line is calling all collectors to loan them their memorabilia - pictures, souvenirs, whatever - for a heritage display on Azura during its maiden season that will later do the rounds across the fleet.

It's all about celebrating P&O's long and illustrious history, explains Carol Marlow, managing director.

"I am sure many people have items of historical importance and sentimental relevance which we would love to share with all our passengers and have on loan for Azura's maiden season....Our ships have played a significant part in the shaping of the cruise industry and I am sure that this collection will evoke many memories of cruises past."

If you'd like to contribute something to the display, send a photo and short explanation of the item and its history and provenance in the first instance to Michele Andjel, P&O Cruises, Carnival House, 100 Harbour Parade, Southampton SO15 1ST, marking your envelope "Memorabilia".

The information can alternatively be emailed to michele.andjel@carnivalukgroup.com.

You should not send any items until asked.

The Cruise Vessel Safety and Security Act of 2009, requiring more transparency when it comes to reporting cruise ship crime, has been passed by the House of Representatives.

The bill, which will also require peepholes and security latches on cabin doors, and sets a minimum height for ships' railings, now goes to the Senate for a vote.

There are all sorts of other requirements under the bill, including deploying new technology, when it is available, to detect passengers who fall overboard. Fall overboard? You'd have to have really plan well to "fall" overboard from a cruise ship these days.

As I've made my thoughts about this bill known already, I'll leave you instead with some comments in Travel Weekly US.

"With 10% unemployment, foreclosures going through the roof and billions being proposed for forced medical insurance and Congress spends time on this kind of nonsense."

"...there really is nothing much in the bill preventing another sexual assault which appears as [Congresswomen Doris Matsui's] motive for introducing it. So one looks thru the peep hole and sees room service or a cabin steward, unlocks the deadbolt, opens the door and is assaulted by one bad apple out of 100,000 crew members..."

"I daresay more young women have been assaulted at land-based resorts at a much greater rate than on a cruise ship. There's a price tag for all of these "nanny state" laws and the consumer will pay for essentially nothing better than what exists today..."

You didn't have to be a cruise ship expert to spot Disney Cruise Line's Disney Wonder in Port Canaveral last Sunday as only one of the vessels in that day had red funnels with white ears. And played "When you wish upon a star" as it left port, although of course the idea was that you were on by then!

The ears set the scene well for what was to come on my four-day cruise around the Bahamas. Mickey, Mickey and, more Mickey, with just a little Goofy, Minnie, Donald and co thrown in.

The vessel itself, which is more sleek liner than modern-day cruise ship, is an interesting mix of Disney meets art deco. I rather like it, but it does look a bit dated at times, especially, I imagine, to a younger generation.

The ship launched in 1999, so it is 10 years old and it is showing its age in places. There are big heavy doors out onto the deck, which I've noticed a lot of children struggling with, and from the self-service to the open deck at the back of the ship. There are actually buttons to press to open those doors, but no one, myself included, noticed it so again there were kids and parents with trays struggling to open a heavy door.

The dining system is unusual. It's the traditional two sittings where you are allocated a table number, waiter and time to dine - either 5.45pm, which is unbelievably early, and another at 8.15pm - but you eat in three different dining rooms, taking your waiter with you as you go.

Ilana and I started in the Animator's Palete,  which starts with black-and-white décor and ends up in colour (and the waiters switch from a black-and-white waistcoat to a colour one), then moved on to Parrot Cay, which is self-service by day and waiter service by night.

Last stop on the fixed dining circuit was Triton's (if you are cruising for a week you just repeat the sequence), and I also managed one night in Palo, the adult-only Italian speciality restaurant. The food and service were very good and all for an extra $15 per person, which was excellent value.

They also do a Champagne brunch in Palo on sea days, again for adults only, again for $15 per person, and again excellent value considering the mountain of great food on offer. It was just a shame Ilana couldn't come as well.

The number of adult-only areas of the ship is surprising given this is a family ship. There's Quiet Cove, which is the adult pool area (where ironically a singer who really should have "Let it be" was belting out a Beatles' song the first time I went there so it was anything but quiet), and also the Cove Café attached to the pool.

A new observation lounge just added to the ship for when it goes to Alaska has been deemed adult-only - which makes me wonder where the kids are going to go when it rains or to get away from the cold - and downstairs, the Route 66 bars are closed to under 18s after 9pm.

There is also a sign at the entrance to the Vista Spa announcing you have to be aged over 18 to go inside, but they do have some teen treatments. Ilana had a manicure and pedicure and a friend had a facial.

I treated myself to a very relaxing massage courtesy of Karen from Ireland and am delighted to report there was no hard sell at the end so I left feeling as relaxed as I was while she was doing her stuff. I should add that I later found out that I had escaped lighty. Clearly Elemis does not change its selling spots.

The kids have two pools - the Mickey pool with a small slide for the youngsters and Goofy pool for the bigger kids. And naturally they can also spend their days in the kids' clubs, while teens have Aloft, where no parents are allowed, to hang out in.

Entertainment is naturally all Disney-based and very schmaltzy, but also extremely impressive, with clever use of moving backdrops and curtains to make it look as if the live action on the stage is part of what is happening behind.

Away from the shows, there are films in the theatre and non-stop on the TV, but the main attraction seemed to be the character appearances. Whether it's Mickey, Donald or one of the princesses, mums had their kids in line - and some of those lines are very long - cameras and autograph books in hand.

Judging by some of the kids' faces, I think many would have preferred to be out in the sun playing on the Mickey slide. They just didn't dare to let on!

It's been a packed two days in the Caribbean since Disney Wonder sailed from Port Canaveral late Sunday afternoon.

Day one was in Nassau, in the Bahamas, where Ilana and I opted for the ship's dolphin swim excursion. I admit I was a bit negative about it as I've done a really excellent dolphin swim at Dolphin Cove in Jamaica and Discovery Cove in Orlando, but a really awful one in Cancun, where you just stood in water and touched the animals as they came by. Wouldn't have been so bad if they had explained that was all it was and not charged a fortune for the experience.

The information about this one made it sound good, but I feared making another expensive mistake.

It didn't start well. Despite all the officious checking-in process on the ship ("form an orderly line, ID, waiver and cruise card in one hand, one person only to get stickers for the party"), one hour after arriving at the meeting point we had got no further than the boat that would take us to the dolphins at Blue Lagoon Island.

Thankfully we did get going and 30 minutes later were being directed to the swim area of Dolphin Encounters for a quick briefing, then split into groups of just 10 people, each with two trainers.

My heart sank as we were directed to get in the water and touch the dolphins as they swam past - oh, and pose for the inevitable photographs. But then we were split into pairs and took it in turns to hug, "kiss", dance, feed and be splashed by the dolphins. Mine even dived down and brought me a stone. Things were definitely looking up.

But the finale was the clincher. Individually we were to lie flat on the water, our legs apart and outstretched, and we were then "whooshed" along by two dolphins pushing each of our feet.

I'm sure many will tell me it's cruel but honestly these animals seemed so well cared for and respected by the trainers that I felt absolutely comfortable with it. And it was a really awesome (as the Americans in our group said) experience.

It certainly made my day, and that, plus a couple of hours afterwards on the beach at the island, was far better than trawling around Nassau, which I remember to be very uninspiring, or a few hours at the Disney-esque Atlantis Resort, which looks amazing but is all a bit to manufactured for me.

Yes, I really did write that while cruising on a Disney ship!

Today we have been in Castaway Cay, Disney's private Caribbean island, also in the Bahamas, where we had booked a three-part Getaway Package - an hour's bike ride and snorkelling gear and use of a float for the day.

The island is very developed, and there's even a tram to transport people around (even though it is very small!) but they have done a great job with it.

There are separate areas for the pedal and sail boats, the snorkellers and swimmers. There is also a separate adult-only beach and a teen beach so youngsters can escape mum and dad.

There are shops, a big dining area (lunch, consisting of burgers, hot dogs and ribs, is prepared ashore) and they had even transported the free soda stations onto the island.

The snorkelling was really good, although you did have to go a long way out to find the fish and I loved the bike trail, which was a peaceful trip on a hard road to the other side of the island, away from the crowds. It's all signposted and easy going as it's flat, and there are water stations all the way around, which was very welcome.

There's a lot of development on the island, including at the dock, which I imagine is to make it ready for the new big ships launching in 2011 and 2012. A new water slide - Pelican Plunge - is due to be ready for summer 2010.

Wednesday is a day at sea, so that seems a good moment to bring you some information about the ship.

When I went down to Southampton for a farewell lunch on Black Prince on October 16, Fred Olsen was expecting to hand over the keys to the ship's new owners within a few days.

In the event, it took almost three weeks, but at last, on November 4, Fred got its money and new owner, Servicios Acuaticos de Venezuela Saveca, a Venezuelan company, got its ship.

In its new life, the vessel will be called Ola Esmeralda and sail three and four-night coastal cruises off Venezuela.

I did promise to let you have some thoughts about Costa Europa, the ship destined to become Thomson Dream next April, from my visit a couple of weeks ago.

It was quite fleeting but long enough for me to realise that I had forgotten most of the ship from when I last saw it - well it was 2002, when it was being handed over from Holland America Line to Costa Cruises.

In fact only the Medusa lounge, a nice big room with raised seating either side, rang any bells when I did my whirlwind tour. Yet there were other good features I should have remembered, such as the comfy sofas in the theatre and the retractable roof on the swimming pool, which will be a great addition to the Thomson fleet.

The decor is smart but not at all garish and I liked the spacious feel of the ship, which Thomson's director of cruise David Selby promised me they won't change.

There are also some very strange things about Costa Europa, not least the fact that most of the cabins were below the reception desk on deck eight, there is no atrium at all, not even an attempt at one, as was usual on older ships, and the gym was in the mid-ships on deck 10, separated from the spa back down on deck eight. Not quite Poseiden, I know, but it did feel very upside down to me.

Thomson is not planning to do much to the ship when it first takes delivery - changing a few names and putting a smiley face on the funnel are immediate priorities - oh and putting a new menu in the speciality restaurant.

The restaurant served the strangest collection of dishes I've ever seen and certainly would not appeal to your average British Thomson passenger

There was "egg cooked at 65 degrees" (which turned out to mean it was cold and raw), snails that really looked like snails for a main course and a pasta dish with brocolli "stuff". Actually the pasta was quite nice but certainly contained no brocolli so I never found out what "stuff" was. A strange Italian translation - but of what? - or had the broccoli man just failed to deliver that day?

Sorry Costa, but whatever Thomson decides to serve up, it can't help but be better.

In November 2010, Thomson is putting the ship into drydock for six weeks, by which time I reckon they will have found a few other things to sort out and spruce up.

The fun thing will be to go back on board afterwards and see I can spot the difference. As a hint, David, the first place I will look is my bathtub...

Poor old QE2. Sold with such pizzazz to Dubai World, it is now up for sale because they no longer have any money to lavish doing up the old girl.

Carnival Corp probably can't resist a little chuckle. They pocketed £50 million for an old ship they decided long ago would cost too much to renovate and able to meet 21st-century cruising safety regulations.

The alternative would have been to pay good money to have it scrapped.

Now Dubai World, which bought the ship through subsidiary Nakheel, intending to turn it into an iconic floating hotel, has run out of money and is looking to hive off a few assets.

The rumour is that Abu Dhabi is interested. Really? I know they have plenty of oil millions, but they might also want to bear in mind that the ship has sat in Dubai for over a year now, unused and deteriorating.

Whatever the price tag for renovation that Nakheel was looking at, it will certainly have gone up by now.

As all eyes were focused on Oasis of the Seas as it emerged from the shipyard in Finland and set off on across the Atlantic to its new home in Fort Lauderdale, a small comment went unnoticed on Royal Caribbean Cruises chairman and CEO Richard Fain's blog - almost.

He mentioned Royal Caribbean president and CEO Adam Goldstein insists the rooms in which passengers sleep be called "staterooms" and not "cabins" and says he doesn't understand Adam's "obsession" with which term is used.

I so agree. I have been pulled up many times by cruise lines for calling a spade a spade, or in this case a cabin a cabin. "They are staterooms," I am told. Really? Rooms of state? Inhabited by kings, queens, presidents and other persons of state?

Of course stateroom does make a cabin sound so much grander, which is why cruise lines prefer it, and I do use it now and then as it's a useful alternative to the "c" word.

What do you call the room in which passengers sleep? Why not let me know.

Must admit, I checked the date when I saw this story that MSC Cruises' has made MSC Splendida into the world's first "fully-fragranced, sensory-branded" ship.

"It's no April Fool," I was assured by the UK office. So I dug back in my memory and remembered that at one time travel agents introduced "holiday" smells into their stores to get people in the vacation (and buying) mood.

This isn't quite the same because you've already bought the cruise by the time you're onboard and sniffing MSC Splendida.

MSC says they want the scent to "enhance the customer experience during the cruise and stay with passengers forever as a sensory trigger to fond MSC Cruises memories". And get them to buy another cruise, I assume.

The scent, called MED by MSC, has been specially created for the cruise line and is described as "an effervescent fruity green fig accord with delicate floral notes blended with gentle musk".

Unfortunately they didn't send a sample so I've no idea how that actually translates into a smell.

All I can say is that as it's everywhere - in the air conditioning in the stairwells, corridors, lounges and spas (but not the cabins), and also in the toiletries, cleaning products and laundry softener - I just hope it's nice.

On Tuesday I docked the Emerald Princess in Ketchikan, Alaska.

OK, so it wasn't the real thing. If I had gone in too fast, Princess Cruises would not have been sending me a bill for millions of pounds worth of damage.

But it was the simulator P&O Cruises, Princess, Cunard and other Carnival Corp brands are using to train their officers and captains - and also the nearest thing I am ever likely to get to driving a cruise ship.

The simulator is in Almere, just outside Amsterdam, and was set up by P&O and Princess after a string of what Captain Hans Hederstrom, who is in charge of the Centre for Simulator Marine Training (CSMART), with wonderful understatement, called "unfortunate events".

Remember when one of Queen Mary 2's propellors was pulled off as the ship manoeuvered out of Port Everglades and the near mutiny that followed because ports had to be missed? Or when QE2 became grounded? They were "unfortunate" incidents.

P&O and Princess decided something had to be done, approached Hans in 2007 and the rest, as they say, is history.

At the CSMART complex, which has been open for six months, they have two bridge simulators - even with bridge wings - where officers learn about, or are updated on, the latest developments in bridge technology.

There are also 11 virtual ports, with more being added all the time. This is me on one of  bridge wings steering into Singapore. Southampton is about to join the line-up, while Fremantle and Adelaide have been added because QM2 will be visiting both for the first time next year and the officers need to get a feel for the two ports.

They are learning not just the port layouts, but how QM2 copes coming in when all sorts of bad weather is thrown at it - high winds, rough seas, heavy swells, maybe all three. If the training goes according to plan, they will also learn when it's time to call it a day and say, actually it's too dangerous to try to dock today.

The control room at CSMART put on some rough weather for me and it really feels the part (apparently some officers once felt so unwell they had to go and sit down!). And every so often, they programme in other vessels - big ships, small yachts - which of course you are supposed to steer around. It's all incredibly realistic.

So far the centre has 12 ship models, mainly P&O and Princess vessels, but also the Costa Atlantica, and it trains captains and officers from most of the Carnival brands, including AIDA, Costa, Seabourn and Holland America Line as their bridges are all very similar.

Carnival Cruise Lines has a contract elsewhere at the moment but when that ends, they will use CSMART too, and Norwegian Cruise Line is about to become a customer, which will help to recoup some of the $5 million the CSMART hardware alone has cost.

All the officers have to do a five-day course each year at CSMART - it runs up to three courses a week for about 40 weeks a year - and another week's training elsewhere learning about updated methods of security, safety and so on.

They can't fail as such, but they can be told they need to do another course. And maybe another and another "until it's time to agree to part", Paul Hailwood, one of the trainers, told me.

One interesting development at CSMART is the way they have inverted the captains' role. On P&O, Princess and Cunard ships, the captain is now no longer the guy at the top making all the decisions but he is leading from behind, allowing his officers to make all the decisions and learn from having their hands on the buttons (unless. of course, there is a problem, at which point the captain steps in and take control).

Hans said when they initially did their review, before creating the training course, they found officers were bored because they were not allowed to do what they were trained for and as a result became too passive.

"There were instances when assertive action from officers could have prevented an incident."

So how did the captains feel about it all, I wondered. "Some initially didn't like the idea of no longer being at the front," Hans admitted. "They have big egos and found the new structure difficult, but all have now embraced it totally."

Before I cruised on Queen Mary 2 earlier this year, Cunard was always telling me how brilliant their lecture series was. Well they would say that, wouldn't they? But it was a good excuse for going on board and finding out.

When I was on in June we had a talk by art historian Christine Roussel, who was involved in the restoration of the Statue of Liberty and spoke about its history and the restoration project itself.

The talk was fascinating - did you know, for instance, that when raising money for the statue, they had the arm and torch in Madison Square Gardens in New York (50 cents to go up the torch) and the head in Paris (must have looked very odd!), where people could go to the top of the crown? - to a packed and enthralled audience. Her lecture became the talk of the ship for the rest of the cruise.

And then there was film historian Barry Brown, with his talks about some of the screen greats - David Niven, Ingrid Bergman, Alfred Hitchcock - that were all really interesting and came with lots of film clips to keep our attention.

Neither Christine nor Barry are famous names, but theirs were definitely the most interesting talks I have ever attended on a cruise ship, not just because of the subject matter but the way the way they were presented.

So I was interested to see that for its 2010 "Insights" lecture series, Cunard has gone for big hitters - Radio 4's Today programme presenter John Humphrys, broadcaster turned politician and man in white Martin Bell, honorary Brit and author Bill Bryson, comedy script writers Dick Clement and Ian le Frenais, psychosexual therapist Dr Ruth and motor racing broadcaster Murray Walker.

And then there's the really big one, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who will be talking as Queen Mary 2 sails from Port Louis in Mauritius to Cape Town in South Africa in March.

"We are confident our passengers will be transfixed by what he has to say," says Cunard president and managing director Peter Shanks. I am sure they will, and also by what the other speakers listed here have to say as well, but so much of lecturing is all about the way they say it as well.

Is a "name" any better at lecturing than a person who really knows their stuff and is passionate about it as well, as Christine and Barry were? I'd be fascinated to find out.

In case you're wondering what's been happening in the world of cruising for the past two weeks, apart from the launch of Silversea's new ship, Silver Spirit, here's a quick update.

* Celebrity Cruises has announced its fourth Solstice-class ship will be called Celebrity Silhouette. And I was betting on it becoming a Star, in keeping with the astrological theme set by sisters Solstice, Equinox and Eclipse. Oh well. The 122,000-ton ship will carry 2,850 passengers and is due to launch in 2011. Like its sisters, it will have a half-acre real grass lawn on the top deck.

* Tempted to try Norwegian Cruise Line's new ship Norwegian Epic but can't afford a week in the Caribbean? Then a one-night taster cruise from Rotterdam to Southampton departing on June 21 2010 might be just the ticket. I can't guarantee sunny Caribbean skies or steel bands (a blessing you may say!) but it won't break the bank. Prices start from £89 per person plus the cost of a one-way flight to the Netherlands. See your travel agent or click here.

* French cruise line Compagnie du Ponant is courting the British with a selection of new on-board features. From now, all officers and crew will be bilingual, and shore excursions, daily programmes and menus will be in English and French. The cruise line is launching new yacht-like ship, the 264-passenger Le Boreal, in May 6 2010.
 
* Yachts of Seabourn is calling all motor enthusiasts for a seven-night Mediterranean cruise from Monte Carlo on Seabourn Legend on May 17. The cruise starts as the Monaco Grand Prix ends, so Seabourn points out it's a perfect voyage for anyone who will be in the Principality anyway for the race. Prices start from £1,799 per person including drinks and gratuities but excluding flights.

If you're looking for your next big adventure, this is surely it. A 24-day cruise through the Northwest Passage from Kangerlussaq in Greenland to Nome in Alaska next August on Hapag-Lloyd's expedition ship Hanseatic.

It's not the easiest of routes to sail, as explorers of old will testify. Sir John Franklin and his entire crew died while trying to get through in 1845 after their ship became trapped in the ice and it wasn't finally navigated until 1906, when Roald Amundsen managed to get through.

The route is now mapped and Hapag-Lloyd's captains have been through several times so you won't have to worry about freezing to death on the Hanseatic expedition, but it sounds quite thrilling even so.

The ship's captain Thilo Natke says the ship's ice-strengthened hull means it is well equipped to go through the Northwest Passage, "only needing the help of an icebreaker in extremely severe ice conditions". Well that's reassuring.

And of course the cruise line can't afford to make a mistake when calculating how much fuel, drinking water and food is needed for the journey as Carrefour has not opened a branch that far north yet.

So why go? Well, apart from the sheer excitement of going on such an expedition, there are the icebergs in Disko Bay in Greenland, the visit (hopefully) to the wreck of the Maud, the ship Roald Amundsen used to conquer the Northwest Passage, the chance to go ashore in Barrow, Alaska, the most northern city in the world, not to mention the various landings by inflatable zodiac at places along the way, weather permitting of course. 

You'll also cruise close to the Canadian Arctic coast (look at the pictures below, one taken in warmer climes, the other off Ross Point in the Northwest Passage, to see how shallow Hanseatic's draught is) so you can see the shore and hopefully spot caribou, polar bears, musk ox, bald eagles and whales.

Unfortunately, such chills don't come cheap. Prices start from £12,136 per person for an outside cabin, but there'a a 5% discount if you book before January 18.

Although Hapag-Lloyd is a German cruise line, this is a bilingual cruise. Contact The Cruise People on 020 7723 2450 or Mundy Cruising on 020 7734 4404 for more details.

Everyone always goes on about service on cruise ships but have you ever wondered why it is (usually) so good?

The cynics, of course, would say it's the thought of all those tax-free tips and the hope, in these days of auto gratuities, that they might just pick up a little extra cash in hand if they smile and are helpful.

But it could also have much to do with the training - especially when it comes to Crystal Cruises.

I have discovered their crew have to undergo a minimum six-months' training at the cruise line's own college in the Philippines before they are even allowed on to one of the cruise line's two ships, Crystal Serenity and Crystal Symphony.

Over that time, they are taught the Six-Star Crystal Basics, which focuses on attitude, communication, competence, style, safety/environment and execution.

Basically, it means they are taught to address passengers by name from the time they are introduced and to identify and focus on personal preferences such as how they take their coffee, where they like to sit and in which restaurant, their favourite types of wine, what amenities they use, and so on.

There is all sorts of Japanese words (Crystal is a Japanese company) thrown in to the training philosophy as well, all to do with being on a "never-ending journey" and "belief in continuous improvement".

It all sounds very impressive but the important thing is, does it translate into good service. And the answer is a resounding yes. In fact I might even be inspired to say "excellent" in connection with Crystal.

It must work well for the crew as well as the turnover rate is just 9%, which I'm told (by Crystal, it's true) is the lowest in the industry.

Interestingly, many of Crystal's crew are from Eastern Europe and Turkey, which brings me to an interesting debate that keeps coming up when I'm on a cruise ship. Who offers the better service? The Eastern Europeans or the Filipinos?

The Filipinos are very good, full of smiles and one or two I've known have been excellent but as a generalisation I prefer the Eastern Europeans as I feel able to build a better rapport with them.

They might not have wall-to-wall smiles, but I like the fact you can go off script - maybe talking about places or politics, even the cruise line - and you don't get another wide grin and the standard cruise ship reply, "excellent".

Who do you prefer - Filipinos or Eastern Europeans? I'd be interested to hear your views.

No sooner had I written how mean cruise lines are when it comes to charging for kids than news came winging my way from Crystal that it is offering free cruises for kids in 2010.

OK so they actually only go free on two cruises. but that's two more than last year and more importantly, the offer applies to all those aged 17 and under so they, at least, are playing fair with families.

I'm not convinced Crystal this is an ideal cruise line for young children as they generally want to play with kids their own age, but I took my daughter, aged 15, on Crystal Serenity this summer, cruising from Pireaus to Civitavecchia, and we had a ball.

On port days, we went off and did our own thing, discovering local sights, lunching ashore and fitting in a bit of shopping as well.

On board, she quickly discovered the video library and was happy relaxing with a film while I was working. She was also old enough to appreciate the fine and friendly service and also to enjoy the good food in the main dining room and the speciality restaurants.

After dinner, she usually met up with the handful of other teens on board and they'd hang out at the swimming pool as they weren't allowed in any of the bars without parents after 11pm.

In fact that was her biggest complaint because after all the last thing she wanted was mum hanging around with her friends. And mum wasn't too keen to act as chaperone either.

Crystal definitely needs to do something about that policy if it wants to win the hearts and minds of the under-18s. I couldn't see why they couldn't go in the nightclub - especially as few other passengers did.

Crystal's two kids' free cruises are on Crystal Symphony. One is a round-Britain voyage from Dover on June 14, the other a Baltic cruise from Copenhagen to Stockholm on August 7.

Prices start from £1,942 per person for the round-Britain cruise and £2,048 cruise-only for the Baltic cruise. Contact Crystal on 020 7287 9040 or click here for more information.

Cruising and bridge go together like hearts and diamonds, so it's no surprise to see that Fred Olsen has teamed up with the English Bridge Union to offer a debut EBU-sanctioned tournament at sea.

It takes place on Balmoral's 12-night Canary Islands cruise from Dover on May 3 and will be hosted by Daily Express bridge correspondent Paul Hackett and keen player, who will be giving talks and daily play updates during the cruise.

During the six days at sea - and probably during port days if I know anything about bridge players - there will be tournaments for experienced and novice players. They will earn EBU points for taking part.

These special-interest cruises are great for single people - for bridge players it's a perfect way to make friends - but I see this is also a cruise-and-walk voyage in association with Ramblers, so it will work well if any non-playing spouses fancy going along as they'll have something to do while their partners are up to their tricks.

The cruise will be visiting Madeira, La Palma, Tenerife, Gran Canaria and Lisbon before returning to Dover.

Prices start from £1,004 per person, plus it costs an extra £100 per player to take part in the bridge sessions (which must be pre-booked through Fred Olsen). Your travel agent will have more details, or call Fred on 01473 742424 to find out more.

I'm probably not the only person who really only associates Cambodia with the Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot and the Killing Fields.

It was a very important time in the country's history, and of course we should all know about it, but I was amazed - and just a little humbled - when we visited yesterday on Spirit of Adventure to discover his regime lasted just four years, from 1975 to 1979.

That means Cambodia had an awful lot of history both before and after that I knew nothing about. After attending a very interesting lecture about Thailand given by former British ambassador Sir James Hodge en route to Vietnam, it seems quite a bit of it was spent invading their Thai neighbours. But that was a long time ago.

Cambodia is one of the poorest countries in the world, at peace only since 1998, because once Pol Pot had gone it was still ruled by Communist dictators and in the grip of civil war.

My initial plan on seeing it on the itinerary for this cruise was to do the excursion to Phnom Penh, the capital. But that's before I saw it was a four-hour drive each way - eight hours on the road - and you had just four hours there.

It would have been fascinating to visit, and very soboring to see the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, where the Khmer Rouge tortured and killed thousands of people, but I also noticed that if I did the local sightseeing tour in Sihanoukville, the port town where we were tied up, I would also be able to join the Evening in Cambodia excursion and get a taste of local food. Decision made.

Incidentally, the few people I've spoken to who did do the 12-hour trip to the capital said it was a very long day but was well worth going.

There isn't much to see per se in Sihanoukville, but it was fascinating to get a feel for the local culture and hear Bora, our guide, talk about his country. Actually it was also quite a challenge to listen to him as his English was poor, but he was quite charming - so cheerful and so keen to try to give us an understanding about his country.

It would have been so easy to go for the sympathy vote by dwelling on those terrible Pol Pot times, but he didn't. He talked about them in the same even tones that he talked about the French times, the civil war, the communists. It was his history and now they are rebuilding. He told us about that too. He was visibly so pleased that we had come to see his country.

First stop, the Ngean Pagoda, we picked up our first batch of young children, this lot just intrigued to see the things we were carrying (in my case my pen and notebook) but by the time we visited Tumnub Rolok fishing village they had become more demanding.

One woman made the mistake of handing out either some money or pens to a couple of the kids and rapidly became a modern-day Pied Piper.

In between the pagoda and fishing village, we had time at the local market - a fascinating, noisy, busy, grubby place selling clothes, souvenirs and the most scary-looking fishy things and sticky desserts, made all the more yucky because when a buyer came along, they were spooned into little plastic bags and handed over. They really did not look at all appetising.

I'll post some pictures, either when I feel strong enough to take on the steam-driven computers on Spirit of Adventure or when I get home.

The market made me realise that evening's local dinner might be a bit of a problem for me as I don't eat fish or seafood, so back at the ship I tucked into extra lunch. A good thing too!

Dinner was a buffet with fish soup, a shrimp salad, squid spring rolls and pasta with a fish sauce on the menu (there was also beef bourgignon but after the woman next to me pronounced it was a good thing she had her own teeth to chew it, I decided to give it a miss).

Luckily, on a cruise ship you're never going to starve so I just sat back and enjoyed the rest of evening. The Sokha Resort where we were dining had set out tables on the beach, we had lovely smiley waiters who could not do enough to help (some of the more elderly passengers found walking in the sand quite hard) and were treated to a performance by a local dance troupe. Apparently all were orphans who are picked early and go to a special dance school, which gives them special privileges.

Back on board, the ropes were cast and we set off. A day at sea and next stop Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam, where we are staying for a day and a half. I'll see you there.

Remember the good old days, when friends and family could go on board a cruise ship to say farewell to loved ones about to head off on a voyage?

Well no, actually neither do I, but we are about to find out what it is all about thanks to Princess Cruises, which is daring to be different with a new Bon Voyage Experience.

I dread to think what the for-your-own-safety-and-security brigade think about the idea, but essentially around 50 friends and family will be able to go on Princess ships on embarkation day with their cruising buddies for a look-see at the ship, a four-course lunch and wine, and "even" (to quote Princess) a souvenir photo.

In all they'll get about four hours on board before the tearful farewells and all for $39 per person, which can be put towards a future cruise with Princess.

And that's what it's all about. A new way to rustle up business.

I say new, but it reminds me of the test-drive lunches Thomson Cruises is launching in April. The difference is the test-drive lunches are available to any Thomson and First Choice clients on a land-based holiday near one of the Med ports Thomson's ships visit. And they are not available on turnaround day.

For now Princess' Bon Voyage Experience is only available in the US, starting with Sapphire Princess in Los Angeles and Crown Princess in Fort Lauderdale on March 6 and then rolling out across other ships including Coral, Emerald, Island, Ruby, Golden and Sea Princess. It'll also be on Sapphire, Golden and Royal Princess in Alaska starting in May.

So why not in Europe and the UK? Surely if they can do it in the US, where security has gone mad - yes, even more mad than in the UK - we can do it on this side of the Pond?

Or are we also now running scared of our own shadows? Let's hope not.

I await news of the start of the European season with interest.

What are the chances? A couple on Cunard's Queen Mary 2 drop their camera over the side and into the Atlantic when taking pictures of the QE2, sailing alongside on its last transatlantic crossing, and 15 months later it reappears in the nets of a Spanish fisherman.

The camera is damaged beyond repair but the memory card is intact, enabling Benito Estevez to guess what had happened, contact Cunard and the BBC and reunite the pictures with their owners, Mr and Mrs Gregory from South Africa.

After my cultural sightseeing extravaganza in Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, I decided to indulge my spirit for adventure in Borneo on the, well, Spirit of Adventure.

After a day at sea, cruising from Nha Trang in Vietnam to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia, on the island of Borneo, my first adventure was river rafting on the Kiulu River, about 90 minutes' drive from where the ship was moored in KK, as the city is known.

I was one of the chosen few on this trip - just five of us from the ship and our tour escort and resident pianist, Clive, who when he is not tinkling the ivories, is usually found biking around port cities with unsuspecting passenger in tow or teaching scuba diving for what passes for a pool on Spirit of Adventure. Goldfish bowl is a more apt description.

The problem with the rafting was the local tour company had slapped on a maximum 60 age restriction so although plenty of passengers wanted to go they had not considered the small fact that reception has all our passports and could check their ages!

Actually it was a shame for the over-60s who wanted to do it as the rapids are only graded 1-2 and as they haven't has much rain for a while, they were very much more 1 than 2. As long as you could get in and out of the dinghy and could swim (strangely I don't remember seeing that as a requirement) anyone could have done it.

We had two dinghies, so there was plenty of space for us all to mess around. By the time we got to the end of the 8km stretch we were drenched from head to foot - and I hadn't even been in the water! But it was excellent fun.

Spirit of Adventure stayed in KK overnight and day two I did the tour to Mount Kinabalu National Park, home to the tallest mountain in South-East Asia at almost 13,500 feet tall. It takes a day and night to climb it and there is a six-month waiting list to go up, according to our guide Mary Ann.

She reckoned anyone can do it - a 93-year-old is the oldest recorded, a six-year-old the youngest. And then went on to tell us about the people who have died trying. I quickly struck it off my to-do list.

Especially after learning that the tectonic plates below the mountain are rubbing together and the mountain is growing. OK, so it's only an inch a year but clearly if you fancy climbing, do it sooner rather than later!

As we didn't have time to climb, we walked through the foothills, admiring the "naked" trees (they have no bark), the orchids (there are about 1,200 species), the ferns (650 species) and endless exotic plants.

All very interesting but painfully slow. I appreciate the ship is full of elderly people (hence so few could go white-water rafting) but why does the world "step" seem to fill them all with fear. We have steps in the UK and they work in much the same way as over here. But over here, they see one and word is passed back through the group with growing angst until the last person is seriously considering turning around while there is still time!

I would have loved also to visit a memorial in the park erected in memory of almost 2,500 Australian and British POWs who died at the hands of the Japanese during three forced marches in World War Two but instead we had to endure a visit to a cultural market, which turned out to be selling the biggest collection of tourist tat I've seen for some time.

Not that we could have bought anything anyway as they only wanted Malaysia Ringgit and all most of us had were US dollars. Every other country on this trip has been happy with dollars so we never thought to change money, and even if we had considered it, there was little chance anyway as the tourist authority hadn't thought to provide an exchange facility at the port. Some lessons to be learned here.

The day finished with a visit to a local pottery. "You have 15 minutes," Mary Ann said. Within 10 minutes everyone was back on the coach, agreeing shopping time could have been better spent enjoying the national park. More lessons to be learned.

Next stop after KK was Muara in Brunei, a tiny state less than a quarter the size of Wales that juts into the north coast of Sarawak, also in Malaysia, also on the island of Borneo.

It's an extraordinary place, dripping in oil and gas, which means they are not short of a bob or two.

Our guide Min explained he was always smiling because there is no income tax, sales tax or VAT, education is free and if you need the health service, it costs $1. If they don't have the facilities to treat whatever illness you have, they will fly you to another country for treatment. Cost still $1. And that's a Brunei dollar, which is worth about 35p.

There are just 50 taxis in Brunei and hardly any public transport as it's so cheap to drive - petrol is 53 Brunei cents a litre, diesel 31 cents and road tax is B$2.20 a year for every 100cc engine size. The average family has four to five cars; you could see them all, parked in drives or along the roads.

But before you start packing to live in this tax-free paradise - even the weather is lovely year-round, with hot and very hot, punctuated by rain - bear in mind it is a dictatorship, even if a financially-friendly one, where the Sultan is king, prime minister and finance minister, and you have to live there 20 years and pass an exam to get citizenship.

There were tours from the ship to Bandar Seri Begawan, the capital, about 45 minutes from the port, but again I opted out of the cultural stuff in the city and instead went for the Temburong tour, which promised a speedboat ride, a visit to an Iban Longhouse and a ride in a Longboat.

I wasn't too keen on the longhouse, a "cultural experience" I've done before and disliked then - tea, dull local dancing and a taste of rice wine with the Iban people, headhunters in days gone by - but at least the first time it was in the jungle, not at the side of a road!

If you've not come across longhouses, by the way, they are literally long houses, shared by a number of families (the one we visited had eight, but Min pointed to one later that had 27) that are usually related but are also allowed to inter-marry. They have a communal area the length of the house and their own rooms off the back.

But the speedboat ride was great, 45 minutes pelting along the river lined with mangroves with a stop when a crocodile was spotted, and so was the longboat, especially as we kept getting grounded on the rocks because the water level was so low.

Each boat had five passenger and our poor guys managed to pick the one with three heavyweights (not me, I hasten to add!) so when we were grounded, we really were grounded. The lad at the front was in dispair trying to push the boat off the rocks.

If I'd had my swimming cossie I'd have happily jumped in to help (not that I would have been able to do much but it would have lightened the load a little and been good fun). Next time I will know.

Our last stop in Borneo is Bintulu, in Sarawak, but I'm skipping the tour today (there is only one) as it's time I brought you some information about our ship, Spirit of Adventure. That'll be for another post.

Nha Trang was the second stop in Vietnam on this South-East Asia cruise on Spirit of Adventure. I had done my homework on Saigon, but had no idea what to expect of this city.

It turned out to be a beautiful place. We were moored in a bay surrounded by islands and a picture-postcard view every which way you looked. Just by the ship was what Tuan said was the longest cable car over water in the world - 3km long - that led to the Vinpearl resort on one of the islands. The journey across took 10 minutes.

The strip along the 9km beach is lined with local hotels, but international names are moving in. There's a new Novotel, a Sheraton is close to being finished and work has just started on a Crowne Plaza.

I suspect in five years or so, when they might also have built a new international airport, this place could really take off as a holiday spot.

There was a tour to a Vietnamese village or to a beach resort, but I opted for the city tour, which included a stop at the Po Nagar Cham towers, a Hindu place of worship built by the Cham people who used to live in this central Vietnam area, and the Long Son Pagoda, from where you could walk up 150 steps to a big white Buddha statue built in 1954 and standing 24 metres high.

At least the guides said there were 150 steps; in 94 degrees of heat it felt like a lot more.

We drove past the French cathedral and then Tuan pointed with pride at the Victory column. "Victory over who?" I asked, slightly bemused. "The Americans," he told me. My mind whirred and clicked, remembering that the guides in Saigon regarded the fall of South Vietnam as a defeat.

Then Tuan revealed he had been born after the war. Different generation, different education, different take on the whole thing.

We also had time to wander around Dam market, so-called because it was built on marshland, which was a lively tangle of humanity, motorbikes and stalls selling everything from evil-smelling dried fish and sweets to vegetables, luggage and clothes.

I managed to get lost in the vortex that was the clothes section having made my big purchase of the day (one $2 t-shirt!) and was eternally grateful, after passing the same stalls the second time, to tag onto passengers from another coach who were to scared to enter the fray alone and were following their guide around.

I have to say, that despite all the dire warnings about "bad men" who would follow you and try to steal your bag and stallholders who would rip you off, I felt absolutely safe. Just a little stupid when I couldn't get out!

That's it from Vietnam. Spirit of Adventure is now crossing the South China Sea en route to Kota Kinabalu in Borneo. I'll see you there.

Spirit of Adventure stayed overnight in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) last night so today it was time to take a tour of some of the city's highlights. So it was back on the coach for another hair-raising drive trying to avoid the 3.8 million scooters.

I have to take my hat off to the drivers on these excursion coaches for the very calm way they negotiate their way around the scooters just at the moment the scooters are negotiating their way around the coach.

Imagine this: He's turning left, but they keep driving around his left side until he is 90 degrees across the road and there really is just no more room for them to squeeze through. Well all right, maybe room for just one. Basically, the word stop just doesn't exist on Saigon's roads.

I decided to put Vien's advice from Monday on how to get across the road to the test. Walk slowly and don't stop. Easy ... ok so there was no traffic the first time but I did also give it a go on a much busier road and I'm still here to write my blog!

Our guide for today's highlights tour was Dung, known as Zoom for his love of photography. In fact, the tour turned into something of a lesson in how to take pictures ("take a picture here, use your flash, push it to 400 ISO") as we visited the history museum, the church of Notre Dame de Saigon, the oh-so-grand Post Office and the former presidential palace, now the Reunification Conference Hall.

A North Vietnamese tank crashed through the gates at 11.30am on April 30 1975, signalling the end of the Vietnam War. Zoom told me President Minh, who formerly surrendered to the northern troops, had only taken office at 5pm on April 28. Must be one of the shortest presidencies in history.

We also visited the Rex Hotel, a favourite with foreign correspondents reporting on the war. Having seen the glorious colonial decor and rooftop garden, I can understand why they liked it so much. When I come back - like everyone else I was smitten with Saigon, so note I say when, not if - I'm definitely booking a room there.

It felt a really friendly city and although there are people hanging around all the main tourist sights trying to sell things, they are rank amateurs compared to the Egyptians. A nice smile, polite no thank you and they set their sights on someone else.

Although officially a socialist country, capitalism rules - and is actively encouraged by the government.

I was especially interested to see how the scooter has become a status symbol in Vietnam. Zoom said you can buy one for $300, but it's made in China, so they all aspire to buy $9,000 one. "You are buying respect," he explained.

Vien was more specific. With a $9,000 bike that girl you've always wanted to talk to is more likely to take off her mask (remember I said the women all wear masks when riding their scooters?) and smile back. That means things are happening. Then it's off to one of the city's coffee houses and the sound of wedding bells.

And all because the lady loved his bike.

We left Saigon at lunch time Tuesday. Next stop Nha Trang, also in Vietnam.

This was the day I had been so looking forward to. An excursion to the Cu Chi Tunnels outside Ho Chi Minh City or, as the Vietnamese call it, Saigon.

Crashing and banging on the ropes outside my cabin announced Spirit of Adventure's arrival in the city just before 9am on Monday. When I emerged onto the aft deck for breakfast, there was Silversea's Silver Whisper moored up behind us. First other cruise ship I've seen on this trip.

The big cruise ships have to dock way a long way out of town, but Spirit of Adventure was able to sail right up the Saigon River and moor in the city, 85km from the sea. Once we were loaded on our excursion coach, we turned a few corners out of the port and dived into the chaos that is Saigon roads.

There are eight million people in this city and 3.8 million scooters. To cross the road, you should walk slowly and never stop because the drivers will see you and steer around you. At least that's what our guide Vien said. So far I haven't put it to the test.

Drivers have to wear helmets by law. Woman also wear masks against pollution and gloves so they don't get tanned by the sun. "Men want to wear masks too but it's seen as a bit womanly," Vien whispered.

I'll bring you more about Saigon in the next post (we're in the city overnight so it's the city tour tomorrow) because today was the tunnels. They are about two hours' drive outside the city, in the province of Cu Chi, which was a Viet Cong stronghold during the war with the US.

Around 15,000 Viet Cong lived in the province, many of them in these tunnels, where they could hide and leap out at unsuspecting GIs. The entrance to the tunnels was incredibly small - this is me going inside, ready to shut the "door" behind me. I was the only one in our group small enough and agile enough to be able to give it a go. That really made my day!

The others had to make do with going into the tunnels that have been "westernised" - that is, they have made the entrance bigger! You can see once inside, they are still not very big and many either wouldn't try going in or turned back when they realised how small and claustrophobic it would be.

The first tunnels were dug in 1948, when the Vietnamese were fighting to be free of the French. Then there were 20km of tunnel. Twenty years later, they stretched 200km, were on three levels, either three metres, six metres or up to 10 metres below ground, and even ran under an American/South Vietnamese army base at one point.

As well as going inside the tunnels, we were able to see some of the booby traps the Viet Cong used to snare the Americans. It's brutal stuff. This was a pit, camouflaged with grass. When the GIs stood on it, it swung around, they fell in and were pierced by the sharpened bamboo stakes below. And there was a lot more in this vein.

There was also a hospital - well, a bed but no anasthetic where they would operate in an emergency - a workshop where they made weapons and another where they made VC uniforms.

Vien had some fascinating stories from the war. His was an affluent family so he and his sisters had a driver to take them to school and his mother also had a chauffeur to take her around. Turned out one was Viet Cong, the other was CIA, each in a covert job trying to get information about the other side. And neither ever knew who the other was!

After the war ended, life was very tough under the Communists and 90% of the South Vietnamese tried to leave. Remember the boat people?

But by 1985, when the old guard died out and younger people took over the government, things started to improve. And remember I said they call it Saigon? "We won the war as the name is still the same," Vien said.

You've read about the destinations I visited on my South-East Asia cruise and about Spirit of Adventure, the cruise ship I was on. Now take a look at what the ship is like on my video tour. Enjoy.

Over the past couple of weeks I've told you a lot about the destinations I visited on my South-East Asia cruise on Spirit of Adventure, but nothing about the ship, also called Spirit of Adventure. It's time to put that right.

First a little background. Although many passengers call it Saga, it's not. It was set up by Saga in 2005 but is now a brand within Acromas Holdings, which also owns Saga. But they are two quite different cruise lines.

For one thing, you don't have to be aged over 50 to cruise with Spirit (there is a 21 minimum age though), for another, Spirit operates an open dining system so you can eat when you want and with who you want, whereas Saga has fixed dining,

The chance to escape being regimented was one of the big attractions for the Spirited bunch I've just been cruising with. I probably hardly need add, it was for me too.

Lastly, as I noted in an earlier blog, the drinks are cheaper on Spirit than on Saga. A pint of beer for £2, bottles of wine from just over £10 (wine at lunch and dinner were included in the price on my cruise, but that is not always the case) and there are free shore excursions at every port. That all takes some beating.

Spirit of Adventure, the ship, is no spring chicken. It was built in 1980 and is looking its age in many places, but what it lacks in glamour and wow, it more than makes up for in service and attention to detail. And it is definitely one of the friendliest ships I've been on - that's crew and passengers.

An example of the Spirit way of dealing with gripes: One of the passengers was disappointed there was no natural yogurt at breakfast. Result? Someone was assigned the task of getting 20-odd pots of the stuff to last the rest of the cruise. True story.

The ship is small - just 9,570 tons with room for 350 passengers - so cabins and public areas are quite cramped.

Having said that, I was lucky enough to be in a spacious cabin at the front of the ship with a separate sitting area and a double bed. It was a good size for two people but it's sold as a single because of the way the bed is up against the wall and semi-enclosed at the end. Easy for one person, very difficult for two (especially the one on the wall side!)

The range of lotions and potions in the bathroom on Spirit always amazes me, with body and foot scrubs in addition to the usual range of body lotion, shampoo and conditioner. And look at the size of the bottles.

It's much better than anything you get in the higher-priced spa cabins on the likes of Celebrity and Carnival even though they are supposed to have "enhanced" toiletries.

On the downside, my shower was pretty feeble and had a nasty habit of going hot or cold of its own free will if you made the mistake of showering in the early evening along with everyone else.

The ship is what I would call functional rather than flash. There's a dining room, a self-service, one bar, one lounge and a big library with what has to be the most antiquated internet system in the cruising industry.

If I had a pound for everyone who asked me to write how terrible it was as they did battle with the three terminals (there are four but one was out of action for the entire two weeks) I would have left the ship a rich woman.

The passengers might have been on the wrong side of 50 - and many were way over that - but they still wanted to keep in touch with friends and family, and some were trying to do a little work, but it would either stop or go on a go-slow at any moment.

As I found many times, it's incredibly frustrating waiting five minutes for your emails to open, especially when you are paying 18p a minute, only for it all to crash when you've managed to read just one. A bit of investment in technology would not go amiss.

Spirit also has an outside swimming pool, so tiny that you can get from one side to the other in three strokes where Clive the pianist-cum-onboard action-man, holds snorkelling classes. Down in the bowels of the ship, is the one-room spa and gym and another small pool.

It's all very simple and all very comfortable, but that suits Spirit folk to a tee. They don't want to climb rock walls (I know that because several told me!) but they do want to make friends, enjoy the food - and I reckon executive chef George excelled himself with his tasty curries and Asian dishes - and have a reliable hand to hold while visiting exotic parts of the world.

But there niggles as well. That internet for one, but also no storage in the bathroom, no safes in the cabins (actually I believe a few do have safes but all I had was a very shallow lockable drawer), the fact that when the ship was full, as it was on my cruise, they could not seat everyone in the dining room at the same time.

Does it matter? Around 220 passengers on my cruise were repeaters and almost 80 were staying on for another two weeks. Many others were already planning when (note not "if") they would be back.

Frankly, it doesn't smack of too much discontent in the ranks.

It's time to get the hankies out. The very last Ocean Village cruise is going on on sale at 8am on Monday March 8.

OV is the cruise-for-people-who-don't-do-cruises brand and has built up quite a fan club among Brits who wanted a casual holiday at sea since it was created in 2003 but Carnival UK is closing it down at the end of this year.

One ship, Ocean Village Two, was sent Down Under to join P&O Cruises Australia last November as Pacific Jewel. The original Ocean Village follows in November this year and then OV will be no more.

The Fond Farewell cruise is a 23-night voyage from Crete to Singapore from October 21 to November 13, calling at Egypt, Dubai, Cochin in India, Langkawi and Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia on the way. You'll also transit the Suez Canal and cruise through Pirate Alley (the picture shows OV2 going through last year, escorted by the Royal Navy's HMS Cornwall).

Prices start from £1,889 per person including return flights and £150 per person on-board credit.

There's also a Big Goodbye cruise - 30 nights from October 14 to November 13 by adding a week sailing from Crete to Venice, Croatia and Greece before the final voyage to Singapore. Prices start from £2,199 per person including flights and £150 on-board credit.

Instead of the £150 on-board credit, you could opt for a free night in Singapore and £75 spending money, or two free nights and no on-board credit. If you want a third night in the city it'll set you back just £75 per person.

These final sailings are all focused on adults so there will be no children's facilities available on the ship from October 21.

Demand for the final cruise is expected to be high so get your dialing finger at the ready at 8am on March 8 or save yourself the angst and ask your travel agent to make a booking for you. Call 0845 358 5000 or click here for details. 

Royal Caribbean International president and chief executive officer Adam Goldstein writes on his blog that they will have 10 of their 22 ships in Europe in 2011.

It's very impressive but I fear we could be in danger of a European overload. Places like Barcelona, Santorini and Naples are often bursting with cruise ships as it is and just can't take anymore - or at least can't take anymore and still deliver a good experience for visitors.

Dare we hope Royal might look for new destinations as they plan their saturation campaign?

Goldstein doesn't say which ships will be over here - all will be revealed over the next couple of months - but I'm guessing it won't be Oasis of the Seas, the world's biggest cruise ship, or its giant sister Allure of the Seas. Yet.

Let's face it. There has to be a limit as to how long they can have two huge ships just going round and round on rather unexciting Eastern and Western Caribbean itineraries. Norwegian Cruise Line clearly thinks so, hence it is bringing Norwegian Epic here in 2011.

So I reckon we could yet see one of them in Europe. Probably not in 2011 but maybe 2012.

These ships are too big to get into any port over here, or so it has been said, but 2012 is still a while away and anyway, my suggestion of seven-night cruises to nowhere, giving passengers loads of time to spend, spend, spend on board (and boost Royal's profits), is still up for grabs.

Star Clippers must have decided a cruise on one of its sailing ships is not enough to pull in the punters, so it has launched a range of cruise-and-stay options as well.

It's a classy range, as befits this niche cruise line, and they don't come cheap, but if price is an issue, then Star Clippers is probably not for you anyway.

Choose the Cocktails and Casinos one in September and you'll have two nights mixing with the jetset in the four-star Ambassador Hotel in Monte Carlo before taking off for a three-night cruise around the French Riviera on Star Flyer. It costs from £999 per person including flights, transfers and B&B accommodaton in Monaco.

Or how about Pyramids, Pharoahs and Greek Islands on April 16, which combines two nights at the five-star Sofitel in Cairo with a nine-night cruise on Star Clipper, sailing from Safaga in Egypt, through the Suez Canal, to Piraeus, the port for Athens. That's from £1,499 per person including flights and transfers.

There's also a Spa and Cruise in the Caribbean between November 2010 and March 2011 - eight nights at La Source in Grenada and seven nights on Royal Clipper - and Where the Wild Things Are, a 14-night cruise and stay in Costa Rica from £2,599 per person.

For more details, see your travel agent, call Star Clippers on 0845 200 6145 or click here.

At the recent floating out of Oceania Cruises' new ship Marina, the line made the surprise announcement that its next ship would be called Riviera.

They then surprised the invited guests further by saying that work on the ship was to start that very moment.

So, everyone jumped on coaches waiting dock side where Marina was being fitted out and made the short journey to another section of the Genoa shipyard where the ships are built.

Here Riviera's first steel was cut. Watch our video to see how a multi-million dollar cruise ship starts its life.  

Ocean Village has had to delay sales of its final farewell voyage again (there was one last year onOcean Village Two) due to system failure caused by the strong demand. It is now due to go on sale from 9am on Friday March 12.

The voyage, from Crete to Singapore though Pirate Alley, was supposed to have gone on sale at 8am on Monday but the systems went down as people tried to book.

The cruise line had hoped to resolve the problem by today, but instead there is an updated message on the website giving the new on-sale day.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for them.

MSC Cruises is the latest cruise line to come out with an AA-sponsored drinks package. "Sponsored" as in it is clearly trying to drum up trade for Alcoholics Anonymous.

The cheapest alcohol package is £33.30 per person per day. Now I just happen to have a bar list from MSC Magnifica, from when it was in Southampton at the end of last month, and can tell you a large draft beer (40cl) costs €4.70, which at today's exchange rate is £4.40.

You'd have to drink more than seven of those each day to make that package pay.

Let's assume you'll have a bottle of wine with dinner. The list has bottles from £15.00 (excellent value, by the way) so you can down a whole one each (this is a per person package remember) every day and still have plenty of credit left for beers and cocktails.

There is also a premium drinks package at £37.80, which I assume includes spirits, and a couple for non-alcoholic drinks costing £18.90 and £23.40.

I'm all in favour of drinks packages as I dislike the way waiters have to otherwise hover over you for your cruise card and signature - and it's not very nice for them either - but they are all so ridiculously priced. Unless you really are a candidate for AA.

Of course clever people will buy one and use it between two. It means you'll have to get a drink at one bar and then go to another for the second one, but suddenly the package looks excellent value. Just don't say I suggested it!

MSC is giving away a drinks package with bookings for balcony cabins on MSC Fantasia (sailings from March and October) and MSC Spendida (sailings from March to November) made before March 31.

An offer not to be cheered at, I feel.

So now we know what "wouldn't rule out" really meant. Namely that P&O Cruises will be launching Mediterranean flycruises next summer.

Well it's more like next autumn and winter really, because in October 2011, Adonia, which joins the P&O fleet in May 2011 from Princess Cruises, where it is sailing as Royal Princess, will be based in the Med for a series of open-jaw cruises, sailing from Savona, Athens, Trieste and Naples.

Until then, the ship, which will be for adults only, will be based in Southampton, sailing cruises lasting anything from seven to 26 nights in the Med and Northern Europe.

P&O managing director Carol Marlow said the Med flycruises "will make many of our existing passengers very happy". Has she been reading my blog?

"At the same time, we hope this will attract new customers who have previously chosen a holiday in a Mediterranean resort."

Sounds to me like they are trying to attract "people who don't do cruises".

The other big change for 2011 is that Oceana will be based in Southampton year-round, braving the Bay of Biscay in winter - and taking on Royal Caribbean International's Independence of the Seas - while new ship Azura gets to bask in the Caribbean sun.

Some ships get all the luck.

It all goes on sale on April 27 and I suspect little Adonia - only 710 passengers - might start flying off the shelves so get your phoning finger ready (0845 3 555 333) or better still, see your travel agent and let them make the booking for you.

Alaska's Governor Sean Parnell seems finally to have noticed the exodus of cruise ships from his state and decided to do something about it.

Namely lower the cost of the $46 per passenger head tax that has caused cruise lines to pull ships from the region and Stein Kruse, Holland America's President and CEO to brand Alaska as having regulations that are "more burdensome and more costly than anywhere else on earth".

Alaska will receive about 140,000 fewer cruise passengers (17%) this year as a result of the exodus, which has meant many locals involved in tourism have lost their jobs.

An agreement between Parnell and cruise ship representatives was hammered out during Seatrade in Miami last week. The state will cut the head tax, introduced in 2006, by 25% in return for the nine cruise lines who have filed a federal lawsuit against the state agreeing to drop their action and send more ships to Alaska.

The reduction brings the tax down to $34.50 per passenger. There is also an existing $4 per person charge to fund an Ocean Ranger programme that monitors pollution in Alaska's waters, This is not in dispute and will remain.

All sorted then? Well no. The agreement now has to get through the Legislature and that is not a given because it is an election year and the Legislature is due to adjourn for the year on April 18, according to the Anchorage Daily News.

So there is a definite need for speed. Let's hope the people in power recognise that and respond accordingly. After all, cruise ships have proved they can go somewhere else and I haven't heard too many passengers moaning so the only ones who are really suffering here are the locals.

What is it about Australia all of a sudden? Ocean Village is being disbanded and sent down there, Cunard's Queen Mary 2 will be circumnavigating the continent in 2012 and now Silversea has said Silver Shadow will be cruising around Australia next year.

Silversea's 30-day Sydney round-trip, from January 19 to February 18, visits Brisbane, the Whitsunday Islands, Willis Island (for the Great Barrier Reef), Port Douglas, Cooktown, Darwin, Broome, Exmouth, Perth, Albany, Port Lincoln, Adelaide, Geelong, Melbourne and Hobart in Tasmania.

Prices start from £11,282 per person including all meals, drinks and gratuities, but excluding flights.

Cunard has three circumnavigation options in 2012 - 22 nights sailing from Sydney on February 14, 20 nights departing from Fremantle on February 8 and 21 nights cruising from Adelaide on February 11.

Cunard hasn't released any prices yet. The circumnavigation will go on sale in spring.

Incidentally neither can claim a first as Princess Cruises circumnavigated Australia in 2008/09 on Sun Princess and Dawn Princess - 31 days departing from Sydney or Melbourne.

I'm sure I can't be the only person rejoicing that Crystal Cruises is to introduce a new flexible dining option for passengers who want the freedom to eat when and with whom they want.

Regular readers of this blog will know I am no fan of the same table, same dining companions system that Crystal currently operates.

When my daughter and I sailed with Crystal last year we ate in the dining room only four times, preferring the freedom of the speciality restaurants. At least there was another option - well two of them actually - and happily Crystal doesn't charge for them either.

But how nice for passengers like us not to feel they have to eat somewhere else.

Crystal's Open Dining by Reservation will be available on both Crystal Serenity and Crystal Symphony from January 2011. Passengers can either make reservations before they cruise - stipulating the number of people and required table size - or on a day-to-day basis. For those who prefer it, fixed two-seating dining will still be available.

Apparently, Open Dining is being introduced in response to feedback from passengers, but there are still some who prefer the old regime (I wonder how long for?). As Crystal's UK sales and marketing director Andy Harmer points out, it's good they are also being catered for.

The change pulls the carpet out from under all those people who have previously argued that Crystal can't be luxury because it tells passengers when they can eat.

And incidentally, the All-inclusive As You Wish promotion, which gives each passenger up to $1,000 to spend on whatever they want on board, also puts the cruise line up there with the other all-inclusive six-star lines because with that much spending money you should never have to pay for a drink.

Play your cards right and you should get a spa treatment or shore excursion for free - or both - as well.

Harmer also revealed "As You Wish" will be available for all cruises in 2011 and next year also Crystal is returning to Alaska after six years, offering nine 12-night cruises from San Francisco on Crystal Symphony.

That's all he's saying for now. As soon as I hear more, I'll let you know.

Last week I asked "what is it about Australia" as I reported Silversea and Cunard will both be circumnavigating the continent, one in 2011, the other in 2012.

Now Princess Cruises president Alan Buckelew has announced his line will have four ships Down Under for the 2011/2012 season for the first time.

Sea Princess will be joining Dawn Princess and Sun Princess, which are based in Australia, while Sapphire Princess will be doing its regular seasonal trans-Tasman cruises between Australia and New Zealand.

Sea Princess will be based in Sydney, cruising to New Zealand, Japan and Tasmania, allowing Sun Princess to move to Brisbane for cruises to New Zealand and Fiji. There is also a 41-night voyage to Asia, visiting Brunei, Vietnam, Japan and China.

Australia is not quite taking on Europe yet, but should we be watching this space, I wonder?

Cunard's Queen Mary 2 steamed into Cape Town on its maiden visit yesterday with a very special passenger on board - Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He had been on the ship since Port Louis in Mauritius, taking part in the Cunard Insights lecture programme. A fasinating opportunity. No wonder it was standing room only.

Always fancied doing Antarctica but never dared to take on the notorious Drake Passage? Then read on, because have I got the cruise for you.

Or rather flycruise. Because starting in 2010/11, Antarctica XXI will be flying passengers over Drake to join its ship, Ocean Nova, for a six-day cruise.

The flight, on a 72-seater BAe146, goes from Punta Arenas in Chile to King George Island on the South Shetland Islands and takes less than two hours. If you cruise, it's at least a day and half, always with the possibility of battling some of the worst seas in the world.

The Ocean Nova holds 62 passengers, is ice-strengthened, has all outside cabins and carries a of fleet of inflatable Zodiac boats for excursions and landings.

Doing Drake in comfort doesn't come cheap. It costs $9,990 (£6,900) per person, but that includes the flight, a night in Punta Arenas before the cruise (and after if required) and all drinks during the cruise. Oh - and the use of Wellington boots for landings.

Well there are a lot of penguins in Antarctica you know.

If you like chocolate, you'll love this seven-night cruise around Italy on Windstar Cruises' 312-passenger sailing ship Wind Surf.

American master chocolatier Fran Bigelow will be on board, talking about how she creates chocolates and conducting tastings.

She will also host a shore excursion to the Gay-Odin Chocolate Factory in Naples, where you'll be taken on a guided tour but more importantly get to sample the stuff.

If you've never heard of Bigelow (and I hadn't) she has apparently been credited for sparking a chocolate renaissance - since when did chocolate need a renaissance? - partly through her cookbook Pure Chocolate.

Just a guess, but I'm thinking you'll be able to buy a copy while on board.

The cruise departs Civitavecchia, the port for Rome, on May 2 and visits Porto Vecchio in Corsica, and Messina, Sorrento, Capri and Ischia, all in Italy, before returning to Civitavecchia. Prices start from £1,640 per person including flights and transfers.

For more information, see your travel agent, call 020 7292 2369 or click here.

Good news for lone travellers. New cruise line Voyages to Antiquity has got rid of those nasty single supplements.

The cruise line also has some other good deals on offer as it starts the four-week countdown to its launch - up to £500 per person savings, and free cabin and flight upgrades, depending which category of accommodation you book.

Voyages to Antiquity first cruise departs May 4, sailing 15 nights roundtrip from Piraeus, the port for Athens, and visiting Greece and Turkey. Cruise number two is a Sicily Odyssey, again 15 days and again cruising from Piraeus, but this time visiting eight ports on the Italian island. The cruise ends at Civitavecchia, the port for Rome.

All sorts of professors, reverends and doctors will be accompanying the cruises, talking about the places you'll be visiting.

It does sound rather educational, but Voyages UK managing director David Yellow assures me you'll be able to opt out of all the learning and just enjoy the cruise if you wish.

Prices start from £1,995 for 15 days, which includes flights and transfers, all shore excursions, wine with dinner and gratuities.

Voyages' one ship, Aegean Odyssey, is not new, but the Aegean I that it used to be has been taken apart and rebuilt so it might as well be. Balcony and deluxe cabins have been created by knocking rooms together, reducing capacity from 570 passengers to 380.

I'm hoping to get a sneak preview of the ship in Piraeus later this month so I'll let you know how it's looking.

So much happened in the cruising world while Cruise Lines was out of action. Here's a quick catch up of the main stories.

* Holland America Line's 1,260-passenger Statendam set off on its first cruise sporting its new Signature of Excellence features. They include Italian restaurant Canaletto, a lounge called Mix with three bars (martini, Champagne and ales and spirits) and 16 spa staterooms with little extras such as a yoga mat, quality bathrobes and special room service menus.

* Oceania Cruises' Marina, launching in January 2011, is to feature La Reserve, a wine-tasting centre with seating for 24, where passengers can learn about and sample fine wines selected by connoisseurs at Wine Spectator magazine. They'll also be serving seven-course paired food and wine menus here - free food and service but you pay for the wine.

* CruiseDeals, part of TUI UK, has been rolled out to selected Thomson and First Choice agencies to cash in on the growing number of cruise bookers who are migrating back to the high street. They sell all cruise brands.

* Royal Caribbean International's Liberty of the Seas is to offer four and five-night Western Caribbean cruises from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in winter 2011-12. Jewel of the Seas will also be sailing short cruises, but from Tampa.

* Windstar Cruises will have 10 spa suites on Wind Surf from May 30. The suites will have plush bath robes, a pillow menu, a choice of L'Occitane and O Spa bathroom amenities and fresh fruit delivered daily. There'll be a welcome cocktail party for spa suite passengers and they'll also get two facials, two massages and two manicures or pedicures (or a shave for men). Spa suite prices start from £1,657 per person including flights and transfers.

* Paul Gauguin launched its 2011 programme of cruises in the South Pacific, offering free air fares from Los Angeles. The cruise line's ship, also called Paul Gauguin, will be cruising around Tahiti, French Polynesia, the Cook Islands, the Society Islands, the Marquesas and Tuamotus. Prices start from £2,815 per person for seven nights excluding flights.

* Star Clippers is continuing to steer clear of pirates in winter 2010-11, when all three of its ships will be based in the Caribbean and Central America. Star Flyer will be cruising around Costa Rica, Panama and Nicaragua, Star Clipper will be sailing seven-night from St Maarten. Royal Clipper will be based in Barbados, sailing seven, 10 and 11-night cruises.

* P&O Cruises has appointed a female captain for the first time in its 173 history. Sarah Bretton, 45, has command of the 1,200-passenger Artemis.

And then, of course, there was the volcano ash crisis, when a no-fly zone was imposed across the whole of the UK, leaving thousands of holidaymakers stranded.

Cruise ships came to the rescue, picking up people here and there if they had spare cabins, while Celebrity Cruises and Thomson Cruises mounted massive rescue operations.

Celebrity got 2,200 passengers back from Bilbao on new ship Celebrity Eclipse, Isl Island Escape, part of Thomson, brought stranded passengers home from the Canaries to Falmouth in Cornwall, while Thomson's new Thomson Dream operated two cruises between Palma and Barcelona, rescuing 2,800 holidaymakers, who were then coached to Calais for a ferry journey home.

"It was certainly an experience," Thomson Cruises managing director David Selby told me when I did a quick overnight visit on Thomson Dream's inaugural cruise this week. I'm guessing from the tone of his voice that it's one he won't be in a hurry to repeat.

I was relieved that the one change that Thomson Cruises made as a matter of urgency on the new Thomson Dream, which it started operating last week, was in the speciality restaurant.

The uncooked egg and slimy snails that were served as specialities when I was on the ship when it was Costa Europa last November have gone (I ate neither but I did see the faces of those who did!), replaced by some more palate-friendly items.

In Thomson's speciality Grill (£25pp) I had Peking duck crepes followed by a spicy pasta main dish, and there were also plenty of fishy things as well as beef and chicken. All the food turned up at the table cooked! And mine was very tasty, which was a pleasant surprise.

The ship, which has been chartered from Costa Cruises, had a bit of a nightmare birth into the Thomson Cruises' fleet. There was a fatal accident in Sharm el Sheikh about six weeks before Thomson was due to take delivery, when the ship crashed into a pier and three crew members were killed.

Just as the hole was patched, the volcano ash crisis struck and Thomson Dream was pulled into service to rescue holidaymakers stranded in Palma. It meant any tweaks Thomson had planned to make before it sailed its inaugural cruise as Thomson Dream had to be dropped.

The name was changed, the funnel got a smiley face, some areas have been painted TUI blue and that speciality menu has been changed, but that's it so far. David Selby, Thomson Cruises managing director, is now going to wait and see how the ship, the largest in the Thomson fleet, sailing from Palma this summer, beds down before deciding what other changes to make when it goes into dry dock in October.

Generally the ship is looking nice if a little old-fashioned in places (others call it stylish!), with large public rooms that give the ship a feeling of space. It's one of the ship's big selling points, along with a sliding roof on the main swimming pool that can be closed in bad weather.

You can see more of the ship on my video here.

The Medusa Lounge, which spans the width of the ship, will always be popular as they're going to use it for cabaret acts and games, and I think the Ocean Bar will become a favourite (it was certainly mine) as it's smaller and has a more intimate feel.

The speciality restaurant, once dressed up for the evening, looked very smart, as did the main dining room. It's open dining, which is another great selling point in my book.

Personally I'd get the rather dull-looking signage changed as a matter of urgency, and give the public rooms some sparkling new names at the same time.

And can I put in a word about the shower in my otherwise-lovely suite (very spacious, with a big balcony), which was not really fit for purpose - namely showering (and I'm assuming the showers in the other suites were the same).

Thomson also somehow needs to create a second servery or separate stations in the buffet as the queue was horrendous on the last morning when I went down there, causing tempers to fray.

There's just one counter with everything on it, so even if you only want a bread roll, you have to queue with everyone else picking up bread, yogurts, fruit, fry-ups and so on (and Thomson cruisers want the lot, believe me) unless you are bold enough to barge your way though the line.

Given the disquiet in the ranks as I joined the queue, I decided such a manoever could spark a riot so I decided to wait patiently. Well wait anyway.

I'm on my way to Dover today, for a Baltic cruise on Saga Pearl II, the ship that joined the Saga fleet in March.

I know the Baltic well, but this will be my first time cruising through the Kiel Canal, which I am looking forward to. We're also visiting Travemunde in Germany, from where I'm off on a tour to Lubeck - another first for me - and then it's return visits(for me) to Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsiniki and Tallinn.

We'll also be spending two days in St Petersburg, which I am so looking forward to. It's a fabulous city, so full of history and wonderful buildings.

I am looking forward to visiting my favourite restaurant for a beer and these pasties filled with mushrooms, meat, cheese or cabbage that my daughter and discovered last time. They were so good we went back next day and ordered twice as many!

The internet is going to be a bit sticky - there's no wi-fi on the Pearl - but where possible I'll be posting information about the trip, plus any other bits and pieces I hear on the grapevine. So keep checking in, but please bear with me.

One of the nicest things about Copenhagen - apart from the fact that it is such a delightful laid-back city - is that everyone speaks such good English that you don't have to worry about making yourself understood when you stop off at a restaurant for lunch and drop of the local brew.

One of the bad things is that same lunch will leave you several pounds lighter. My bill today for two bottles of beer, a burger and a very small - but very delicious - portion of chicken in a curry sauce on a tiny sliver of bread was not far off £40. Wow.

Not that I am complaining. Copenhagen, even without the Little Mermaid (she is in Shanghai for Expo 2010 and there's a live video of her in China instead), has been one of the highlights on my Saga Pearl II cruise in the Baltic that has already been packed full of highlights.

And it is only day three.

The first highlight was finding myself in Grand Suite Ninety Nine (note how the number is spelt out, making it even more Grand!). It is a fabulous room, spacious, stylish and with a shower that just empties onto the bathroom floor so there is no messing about with curtains or cubicles.

It comes with Dennis, my rather handsome butler, who serves canapés in the afternoon (and bothers to ask first which you'd like, which is a really special touch), any or all meals if wanted and even does my washing for free. And there's a bar that most certainly isn't mini but is all complimentary.

Highlight number two was going through the Nord Ostsee Kanal - that's Kiel Canal to you and me - linking the North Sea to the Baltic.

It's probably one of the least-known canals in the world - certainly not on the list of must-dos with Panama or Suez - yet if anyone ever wants a reason to cruise on smaller ships, the fact they can nip through the Nord Ostsee, cutting off all those sea days going around Denmark, is surely it.

The canal, built between 1887 and 1895 on the orders of Kaiser Wilhelm II, is nearly 100km long and took something like five hours to transit. It was actually just like being on a river cruise, with fields, forests and towns to look at as you went along.

Highlight number three was Lubeck, in Germany, which I visited on a day trip from our first port, Travemunde. Actually, the city wasn't so much the highlight, although it was very pleasant, but rather Hans the hippy, who guided us at high speed from one point to another, telling us from the moment we left the ship that we were "already very late".

He was good though, full of information - about the free three litres a day of beer everyone (men and women) received in medieval times (they used to make a baby and child version of beer as well) and the fact they used a picture of a gladiator in the court room in the Rathouse to symbolise discretion because a woman couldn't be trusted not to talk.

But my favourite was about Bach, the composer, then 20 years old and with a dream to become master organist in the Gothic-style St Mary's Church - until he discovered that to achieve his ambition he had to marry the oldest daughter of the existing master.

She was 40 years old and "a bitch", to quote Hans, so Bach did the only decent thing and scarpered.

The church was almost completely destroyed by the British during a bombing campaign in 1942, during the Second World War, and reconstruction was considered so dangerous that only bachelors were employed to piece it back together again.

I'd love to know what that did to the marriage statistics that year.

You might have to be the wrong side of 50 to come on a Saga cruise (and because I can tell you are wondering, no I'm not) but that's apparently no excuse to sit around doing nothing all day.

I thought our day at sea on Saga Pearl yesterday, cruising from Copenhagen to Stockholm, was supposed to be a time to relax and gather strength in time for the hectic sightseeing programme that is Stockholm, Helsinki, St Petersburg and Tallinn.

How wrong could I have been?

There were bridge and galley visits, four lectures, a pre-dinner music hall singalong with banjo man Steve Galler, which was very popular, and dancing, a quiz and cabaret after dinner.

Somehow in between all that I managed to squeeze in a relaxing massage with Kerry-Ann in the spa (a rather grand name for two treatment rooms but no matter!) for the bargain price of £65 for 85 minutes, which has to be one of the best deals I've come across in a ship's spa, and join the singles lunch.

I'm not quite sure how I got roped into that, but it turned out to be a great way to meet other soloists - and what a lot of us there are on here - especially as they move everyone around to a different table once during the meal.

There was Avril, who likes Saga but cruises mostly with Fred Olsen because they're cheaper, Madeleine, who had cruised once with Costa, and was enjoying the fact that announcements are only made in one language, and Charles, who was a cruise virgin and came on to see if he still has his sea legs from his days as a merchant seaman.

A real mixed bag then, none with a bad word to say about Saga Pearl II, although one Saga regular said she preferred Saga Rose (which the Pearl replaced) because of its more classic design and higher ceilings.

Another said she preferred Saga Pearl II to the Fred Olsen ships because Saga operates an open dining system on here so you can eat when you like and sit with whom you want.

I'm with her. It's lovely to have that freedom, but I reckon anyone who likes to eat at the same time and table every night could have a quiet word with the maitre d' and get themselves sorted. It's a small ship - it holds about 450 passengers - and the crew are so good I'm sure they can fix anything.

Although I have never cruised with Saga before, this cruise has felt a bit like coming home.

Barry Brown, who has been giving lectures about the movies, was on a Queen Mary 2 cruise I did last May, while Gavin Baxter, the executive chef, was on a Black Sea cruise I did a couple of years ago with sister cruise line Spirit of Adventure. He used to make me special hot curries.

And then there is John Parton, who was cruise director on my Spirit cruise in Asia in February and is about to reprise his role as CD on Pearl II.

Come on board. You'll have some fun.

I'm sure it's not chance that cruise specialist Voyana has launched rail-sail cruises in the Med as air space continues to be terrorised by Iceland's volcano ash.

The company has teamed up with MSC Cruises to offer holidays that whisk passengers to Marseilles on Eurostar trains from St Pancras in London and France's high-speed TGV network. From Marseilles, they will join either MSC Fantasia or MSC Splendida for a seven-night jaunt around the Med.

It's a great way for those who don't want to fly to get around the long, and often dreaded, cruise over the Bay of Biscay, especially as Voyana says passengers can be in their cabins the same day they leave the UK.

Coincidentally I heard just two nights ago that Saga decided to offer something like this. Unfortunately the first departure coincided with a strike by French train drivers.

I wish MSC and Voyana better luck.

Plan A for my visit to St Petersburg on Saga Pearl II was to get a visa and go ashore alone - something I've done many times and a far better option if you know a place well than taking a ship's tour and having guides fuss over you like a mother hen.

Don't they know we have roads and cars in the UK as well?

Unfortunately I did not have time to get the visa (actually I would have done had I known an ash cloud was going to disrupt all my travels) and as you can't go ashore alone without one in Russia I chose for the next best thing - a private car with driver and guide so I could go where I wanted.

It was a bit awkward as actually what I wanted to just go and walk around the city, enjoying life like a local as I would have when on my own, having lunch here, a drink there. Not the sort of thing guides want you to do.

And then I had a flash of inspiration and asked to be taken to the Alexander Palace in Tsarskoye Selo, about 29km from the city.

It's unknown to tourists as it's still being restored and there are only about 10 rooms open at the moment, but I wanted to see it as it was where Tsar Nicholas II lived and was then imprisoned after he abdicated the thrown in 1917.

It's not an ornate palace and never was, but it gives a fascinating snapshot of the family life of the last tsar - he had four girls and one son, Alexei. Rooms have been laid out to try to give an impression of how they lived, and there are pictures of the family, along with exhibitions of some of the children's toys.

A sign said restoration will be finished in June 2010, which is more than a little over optimistic, but it will be a wonderful extra attraction for visitors when it is done.

Back in town, I did manage to drag my guide around on my planned walking tour around the city, past St Isaac's Cathedral, the Hermitage, the naval museum, the Peter and Paul Fortress and to the battleship Aurora, which fired the shot that signalled the start of the 1917 revolution.

Then we hopped on a metro to Premorskaya station, where the driver was waiting, and which turned out to be just 10 minutes' drive from the new cruise terminal. Very handy if you do come with a visa.

All the stations now have names in our alphabet as well, by the way, which makes it a lot easier if you do want to explore alone.

It was the first time I'd been to the new terminal and it was disappointing. No band to welcome you, as had been the norm at the commercial port, no sign of life, just a shiny new building in a big bare wasteland. All very sterile. It's still being finished though - the plan is seven terminals - so maybe it will improve.

That evening, I joined an excursion to the ballet, to see Swan Lake. I last saw a ballet many years ago in Moscow so am hardly in a position to judge whether it was good or bad, but I do know it was very enjoyable. Give it a go if you ever have the chance.

Next day on a boat ride around St Petersburg's canals - it's not known as the Venice of the North for nothing - we were joined by a teenager who ran the route, appearing on each bridge, waving and blowing kisses as our boat went under.

Having walked a good bit of the route the day before, I could only admire him for running further - it must have been nearly three miles - and in just an hour. I'm happy to say most of my fellow passengers realised he was doing it for money (our guide reckoned he does it at least twice a day) and his entrepreneurialism was suitably rewarded as we disembarked.

From St Petersburg, Saga Pearl II sailed to Tallinn, where I had to abandon ship and get home. It will be carrying on to Sweden, Lithuania, Poland and Denmark, before coming back through the Kiel Canal to Dover.

Sounds fun. I'm sad to be missing it.

With Azura out of the way, excitement is mounting at P&O Towers about the imminent arrival of new ship Adonia.

When I say imminent, it's actually a year from now before the ship enters service and new is not quite accurate either as the ship has been doing the round for a while now.

It launched in 2001 as R8 for the now defunct Renaissance Cruises, became Minerva II for Swan Hellenic, then when Swan was sold it was moved across to Princess Cruises and renamed Royal Princess.

It joins P&O Cruises as Adonia, an adult-only ship, in May 2011 and will be based in Southampton until October, sailing to the Med and Northern Europe. In October, it moves to the Med so P&O can try its luck with six flycruises.

I have cruised on the vessel twice - once when it was Minerva II and then last September in the Black Sea when it was Royal Princess, and it is a lovely little ship. There's room for just 710 passengers so it has a more cosy feel than the likes of Azura and Ventura, which I am sure will go down a storm with P&O people.

The only drawback for me is the fixed dining system that Princess operates and which no doubt P&O will continue. However, there are also two small restaurants where Princess has its steakhouse and Sabatini's, the multi-course Italian trattoria, on alternate nights.

It'll be interesting to see what P&O does with these spaces given its love affair with celebrity chefs. How about a Sindhu spin off (that's the Indian restaurant on Azura) alternating with an Adonian Rhodes? Yum!

What a difference six weeks makes. Celebrity Cruises announced at the start of April that it would have six ships in Europe for 2011 including Celebrity Mercury; yesterday speculation that Mercury was actually leaving the Celebrity fleet was confirmed.

The 1997-built 1,898-passenger ship is to renamed Mein Schiff 2 and moved to TUI Cruises, a joint venture between Royal Caribbean Cruises and TUI AG, tailored to the German market, and the crew moved across to one of Celebrity new Solstice-class ships.

The switch happens in May 2011 after a refurbishment that will add balconies and a teen bar, and create a bigger spa.

The original Mein Schiff was formerly Celebrity Galaxy, a sister to Mercury, so the two vessels will be reunited.

Mercury will spend its first season sailing as Mein Schiff 2 in Northern Europe. Itineraries will be revealed on June 1, when the cruises go on sale.

Travel Agent Central reports that US citizens are once again able to get visas for Libya thanks to a trade and investment agreement between Libya and the US.

The change also means US cruise ships can get blanket visas for their passengers. I guess that means passengers will be able to go ashore on a ship's excursion but will need a visa if they want to explore alone (as happens if you visit Russia).

So does this mean US cruise ships will be redesigning their Mediterranean itineraries to include calls at Libya?

Probably not - or at least not in too much of a hurry given cruise lines have been bitten once before; told they could call but then been unable to disembark US citizens.

Travel Weekly US quotes Oceania Cruises' Tim Rubacky as saying simply: "We are watching the situation develop with interest."

For the sake of the Americans, I do hope that Libya does open up for them. I was there last year on a cruise with Swan Hellenic and it is an incredible destination. The ancient Roman remains were amazing, as expected, and I loved the fact they were not cordoned off from visitors because, well there just aren't that many visitors to worry about.

Of course that will all change if the new visa rules stick and many more cruise ships - and passengers - start heading Libya's way.

On second thoughts then maybe it would be better if Libya changed its mind again on letting the Americans in. Or maybe put a maximum on the number of cruise ships allowed per year.

Elitist I know, but some things are worth preserving.

OK that's a bit of an exaggeration. I was only a butler for about 15 minutes when I visited Azamara Journey in Greenwich today. No matter. It was still a bit of an eye-opener.

I discovered there is such a thing as synchronised service, where butlers walk in step one after another, take their places around a table (they have to time their walk so all arrive in place at the same time) and take their instruction - a slight eye movement -  from the lead butler on when to serve the plates.

They hold in position, hand on plate, until another almost imperceptible eye movement tells them to stand up and back away from the table and another gives them the nod to leave the room.

And I had to do all that. Phew. Here I am "serving" Jo Rzymowska, Royal Caribbean's associate vice-president and general manager UK and Ireland.

The aim was to show us the rigorous English-trained butler service now offered on Azamara since its rebirth as the more inclusive Azamara Club Cruises.

Big changes happened in April - new itineraries that linger longer in destinations, gratuities and wine with dinner included in the cruise price and an English-trained butler to service each suite (previously they had a butler for every cabin but they were not "proper" butlers, it was whispered to me today!).

To be honest much of the training comes down to common sense, an individual's people skills and learning eye for detail - they have to spot when a cushion is the wrong way up or a water bottle label is facing the wrong way, for instance.

The key for me is that they also have to learn how to "read" passengers in double-quick time so they can provide a service that suits each individual.

For instance, the butlers can be your wardrobe manager and tidy your clothes away, which no doubt some people would love but I would dislike. Their skill is in finding that out before I have to tell them. Assuming I can pluck up the courage to admit I prefer to be untidy!

I was dead chuffed after the role play when Rob Preston, marketing and service coach for Triple S Consultancy, which was pulled in to train Azamara's butlers, said my synchronised service skills were excellent. Was this another career waiting in the wings?

And then I overheard him say it to everyone who had a go.

Oh well. Back to the keyboard.

Sister cruise lines Swan Hellenic, Voyages of Discovery and Hebridean Island Cruises have been brought together under a new trade-facing umbrella brand, All Discovery Cruising, which has been launched simultaneously with a video training programme for agents.

It's all designed to help agents learn more about the three cruise lines so they can give good advice to customers looking for a small-ship discovery-style voyage.

The three cruise lines each has one ship - Voyages of Discovery has the 708-passenger Discovery; Swan Hellenic the 394-passenger Minerva and Hebridean Island Cruises the 49-passenger Hebridean Princess.

The training uses video and voiceovers from the lines' sales managers to explain the difference between the three brands, including their customer profiles and price points.

All Leisure Group, which owns all three cruise lines, acquired the 508-passenger Alexander von Humboldt last year. It is currently being operated by Germany's Phoenix Reisen and will join the All Leisure fleet in 2011.

There's still no hint which brand it will join - or if it will be used to start a new cruise line. Anyone care to lay some bets?

Thomson Cruises was having major plumbing problems with new ship, Thomson Dream, when I went on board at the end of April, as a vocal minority of the passengers made clear to me at the time.

Then, managing director David Selby said he was confident the problems had been sorted, but judging from recent comments on the Cruise Critic website, that was either a little too optimistic or Dream is having another nightmare.

Now Thomson Cruises says it is confident - again - that the plumbing problems have "largely been resolved".

In a statement, it said:

"The technical fault causing an occasional unpleasant smell found in some parts of the ship has been corrected, and the smell has disappeared.

"Regarding the plumbing issues, there are a small number of cabins that are still affected but these will not be occupied by customers until the problems are completely fixed.

"While plumbing maintenance and repair work is still continuing on the ship, we are confident that the remaining issues experienced will soon be rectified.

"Recent reports from our team onboard confirm that the mood on board is positive and the majority of passengers appear to be enjoying their cruise."

Has anyone been on Dream recently? Why not tell us your experience?

Disney Cruise Line's Disney Magic will be arriving in Dover for the first time tomorrow, for the start of its debut Baltic season.

It's only short - four 12-night cruises - but the ship will be calling at all the favourite places on the way around, including Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki and St Petersburg, where it is staying overnight.

No doubt plenty of heads will be turning on the first cruise, also departing tomorrow, as none of these places will have seen a cruise ship with Mickey Mouse ears on the funnel.

Or that plays "When you wish upon a star" as it pulls out of port for that matter. 

SeaDream Yacht Club has launched a honeymoon competition for couples planning to be married this summer.

All you have to do is visit the special website they have set up, complete the form and add a picture of yourselves, then get friends and family to write reasons why you should win. Their comments will determine if you are the lucky winners.

At stake is a seven-night £20,000 honeymoon voyage around the Greek Isles on the 112-passenger SeaDream I on September 11 2010.

Unfortunately, you have to pay for your own flights. Proving there is no such things as a free lunch, you will also be expected to blog and Twitter your way around the islands, and also post entries on Facebook.

When I met the new v-p sales and marketing for Europe and Asia Morten Leite, he said they wanted to make more of social media so I guess this is the first step.

The competition small print, incidentally, also says you have to be of good moral character to enter and background checks will be made. You have been warned!

You have until July 30 to create a personal page. The winning couple will be announced in early August.

I've cruised on Crystal Serenity several times, but this week I'm going to experience the baby of the Crystal Cruises' fleet, Crystal Symphony (it holds 922 passengers vs 1,070 on Serenity).

Mine is a odd seven-night part-way round-Britain cruise. We depart from Dover tonight and go to Guernsey, three ports in Ireland and Liverpool, where the ship turns around and returns to Dover after a day at sea.

I'll be leaving in Belfast though, as I have to get home in time to head out to join Norwegian Cruise Line's new ship Norwegian Epic in Rotterdam.

I'm looking forward to seeing Crystal Symphony, which recently had a $25 million makeover that upgraded the Penthouses, and spruced up the other cabins and suites, the Lido Cafe and Prego, the Italian speciality restaurant.

Internet willing, I'll let you know how it's all looking.

All often I've discovered that being shown a cruise ship after a refurbishment can be a real anti-climax. The men who've spent the money are thrilled they have a new throw on the bed or a different colour scheme in the bar. You, on the other hand, nod politely while wondering what on earth they spent all those millions on.

Happily I had no such struggle on Crystal Symphony this week, because its $25 million refit last autumn resulted in some pretty significant changes.

The biggest has to be the area outside the Lido self-service, where once there was the Neptune pool and now there's the Trident, a large room with a roof than can be opened on warm days, decked out with comfy sofas, chairs and tables.

It makes a lot of sense, The pool was small and never used as it was surrounded by tables and chairs where other passengers sat chatting or eating. It really was like being in a goldfish bowl - not very nice for the swimmers or indeed the diners.

They have the same area on Crystal Serenity, which I am familiar with, so that's why I knew what it used to look like. And what they have done on Symphony is exactly what I have always through they should do on Serenity - and maybe will do when that ship goes for a dry dock next May.

President Gregg Michel, who was on my cruise along with most of Crystal's top brass as it was a special sales achievement voyage to reward their top-selling agents, wasn't committing to anything but I just happened to mention it's what I reckon they should do!

Watch this space.

The other big change is in the Lido self-service, where they have replaced long food stations with individual islands. Apparently it's done wonders for getting rid of queues and Michel seemed pretty sure they will do the same on Serenity.

Prego, the Italian speciality restaurant, has been refurbished and looks elegant but it's one of those instances when you really need to know what was there before to be impressed.

Not so the new rattan-effect deck furniture. The green-and white umbrellas and blue, orange and stripy coloured cushions looked so smart on the one day the sun deigned to come out.

By the pool, there is now what must be the biggest hot tub at sea; in the two Crystal Penthouses, a portion of the balcony has been brought into the room using floor-to-ceiling glass walls and turned into a dining room with the best view at sea.

And just look at this all-white marble bathroom in the Crystal Penthouse. I could just see myself luxuriating in that bath tub, glass of Champagne in hand as I look out to sea.

And then I woke up.

Hurtigruten is not only sticking with Antarctica despite the impending ban on heavy fuels but expecting a rush of bookings as other cruise lines pull out because of the increasing difficulty of operating there.

From August 2011, the International Maritime Agency is banning the use of heavy fuels in the region. It means ships that want to cruise there have to empty their tanks of heavy fuel, clean them and refill them with lighter fuels such as marine gas oil.

It's an expensive operation that is expected to force the big 2,000-plus passenger ships that offer non-landing cruises to pull out of the region just because the whole operation is so expensive.

It leaves the field open for small cruise ship operators such as Hurtigruten, which has just launched its 2011/12 brochure with news that it already has advanced registrations for the 2011/12 season.

It's newest ship, Fram, is operating in Antarctica - and is small enough that you can go ashore - and then moving to the Arctic for the summer as usual.

New for summer 2011 are five-night cruises along the north-west coast of the Svalbard archipelago. Hurtigruten also has a one-off "climate voyage" between Iceland and Spitsbergen in July 2011, with lectures designed to help passengers understand global warming.

Details are in the cruise line's new Explorer Voyages brochure, available here or see your travel agent.

The sun is beating down and there is an enormous - and noisy - worksite outside my balcony.

Welcome to Malaga and Princess Cruises' Grand Princess, which I boarded earlier today for a wine-themed cruise to Civitavecchia, the port for Rome.

I'm doing a wine-tasting on board tomorrow, visiting wine cellars from Barcelona the next day and Chateau de Cremat from Monte Carlo the day after that for yet more wine-tasting.

It's a tough life, isn't it?

Actually it's all a bit nostalgic for me as this is the ship I got married on in 2004. Then I was in the Baltic, somewhere between Copenhagen and Stockholm. And yes, although I seem to be rarely at home these days - I managed a record five days between getting off Nieuw Amsterdam and this trip! - I am still married. Maybe brief encouters are the secret?

In between all the wine tasting, I'll be sampling the food in Sabatini's, the ship's Italian multi-course speciality restaurant, and in Sterling Steakhouse, which is my favourite place to eat on a Princess ship.

I also plan to have lunch ashore a couple of times as a cruise is such a great way to try local cuisine in several countries on one holiday. I know eating ashore costs extra and the food on board is all paid for so in effect you are paying twice for a meal, but hey, you only live once and surely travelling - even cruising - is all about experiencing, and tasting, local cultures.

Internet willing, I'll keep you posted about the ship, the food and the excursions so be sure to keep checking back.

When Princess Cruises launched the Ultimate Ships' Tour including a visit to the laundry I wondered who on earth would want to go and look at other people's dirty washing.

Having now visited the area on a cut-down version of the tour on my Grand Princess cruise, I admit it was fascinating. Not the dirty washing, but the place itself.

The washing machines are bigger than big and look as if they are preparing for take off when they get to a fast spin cycle. I was standing close to one in full throttle and the floor all around was shaking as well. If your machine did that at home you'd think it was dying.

But my favourite was the giant pressing machine, which folds sheets. The picture below shows the sheet disappearing down, two second later it emerged ready to put on a bed. How clever is that.

I did feel sorry for the guys who work in the laundry though. It's warm with no windows. They are on a cruise ship sailing to exciting places in Europe but life is just one big wash day.

Every three days the bed linen in all 1,296 cabins is changed. That's a minimum 1,296 sheets - actually a lot more because many beds are configured as singles - at least 5,184 pillows (based on four pillows per bed). And just think how many towels and napkins also go through the system.

The tour also took us to the print room, the medical centre, the galley, the food storage areas - there are giant freezers and a butchers' shop - and behind the stage in the theatre.

I thought the number of costumes on a moving rack was amazing - check out the picture; they go up as far as the eye can see - until I felt the weight of some of the dresses. That was even more amazing. I'll swear they were heavier than me.

It's all the layers, I was told. Personally I suspect it's to weigh the dancers down so they don't topple off the stage in rough weather.

Whatever, I felt for the male prancers who have to lift not only the female dancers, who are all as slim as twigs, but the dress as well.

There's only one Ultimate Ships' Tour per cruise, and then it's only for 12 people, so you need to sign up fast. Cost is about $150 per person.

I mentioned that my cruise on Grand Princess this week has something of a wine-theme as it's been all about discovering how easy it is to visit wineries in the various countries we are calling at and enjoy a glass or two of the local tipple.

It links in with a mini brochure Princess Cruises has produced that's aimed at inspiring passengers to do their own wine-themed thing in the ports in France, Italy and Spain that Grand Princess visits on its cruises from Southampton.

"We're not just out to sell excursions," Princess head of brand marketing Pieter van der Schee explained. "We actually want our passengers to have a really enjoyable holiday and wine tasting is one thing we believe many people will enjoy. Hopefully the leaflet will help to give them ideas."

How refreshing is that?

In fact my tasting lessons started on Grand with a wine-tasting session with sommelier Stefano, below, who had picked a Champagne and five wines - two white and three red - for us to sample.

We learnt where the wine came from, how to swirl it properly before sniffing, how to sniff it - why can I never get the aromas of strawberries, blackberries, roses and so on, like everyone else? - what the colour told us, what legs are and what food to eat with the wine. And then finally were allowed to taste.

Two hours later we all left as very happy experts!

Next day, from Barcelona, we drove 45 minutes out of town to Cava country, to visit the Freixenet estate and taste the Spanish sparking wine they produce.

I'd never heard of Freixenet and expected a small company in a little town of Sant Sadurni d'Anoia, which I'd also never heard of. How wrong can you be? They produce 80 million bottles of Cava a year, 70% of which is exported. And boy do they love their branding. Just look at this bottle lamp and the picture below of me in front of the car!

We were taken on a tour of the vineyards, the visitor centre, which explains how Cava is made, the bottling plant and the cellars, ending the visit with a 15-minute mini-train ride through more cellars ... and more cellars ... and more cellars. Enough cellars in fact to hold 80 million bottles.

Actually the train ride was not quite the end as naturally there was a Cava tasting, augmented with some Spanish jamon, saucisson sec and bread with tomato. So if you do this you also get to taste some of the local tapas as well. Heaven!

And then it was on to Monaco, from where we snuck into France - not so difficult considering how tiny Monaco is! - to visit Chateau de Cremat just outside Nice, which was quite different from Freixenet. An estate with just 15 hectares that produces just 40,000 bottles of red, white and rose wine a year that's all sold in local shops and restaurants.

Roxanne, the guide, took us into the cellars, which date back to Roman times and where you can still see the rooms where they used to tread grapes. That tap on the left side is where the juice came out.

To do this tour, you need to pre-book and have a minimum 10 people. Cost is €15 (€19 at weekends), which includes a visit to the cellar and three wines to taste. For €25 (€32 at weekends) they'll throw in a feast of local ham, saucisson sec, cheese and bread. Highly recommended!

Princess has plenty of other suggestions for wine-based tours - excursions to bodegas from Seville to find out all about sherry-making, Chianti-tasting in the countryside around Livorno, trips to find out about the Campania wines produced outside Naples.

What a shame I'm getting off now so I can't try them out for you.

But at least it gives me a great excuse to come back!

If you've ever wanted to go to the South Pacific, now's definitely the time as Paul Gauguin is offering free flights from London to join the ship.

You'll have to be quick though as the offer is only valid on three cruises.

There's a 14-night voyage from Papeete to Auckland in New Zealand on November 6 that visits all sorts of exotic sounding places such as Taha'a, Bora Bora, Aitutaki and Tauranga and a mirror-image 14-night cruise coming back from Auckland to Papeete on November 21.

These voyages, incidentally, are also Paul Gauguin's maiden visit to New Zealand.

Finally there's a 14-night round-trip cruise from Papeete, visiting more unpronounceable exotic-sounding places.

Prices start from £4,187 per person, which includes soft drinks, alcohol and gratuities as well as the free air.

If none of these dates works, Paul Gauguin is also offering free or two-for-one air travel between Los Angeles and the ship on all voyages in 2011. Not quite so generous, but better than nothing.

I see Voyages of Discovery is returning to Asia in winter 2011/12 - they were there for the first time last winter - and also a cruise Down Under. I'm sure they have never been there before.

It is a really exciting selection of cruises - voyaging through the Middle East and along India's west coast in November, on through Thailand and Vietnam to Hong Kong, China and Japan and finally arriving in Australia.

They call at Sydney, Cairns, Cooktown and Darwin and then head back west, through Indonesia to Singapore, Myanmar, India and the Red Sea.

There are long cruises of up to 59 days, or you can dip in and out, doing 20 days or so.

A cruise really is the best way to see so much of Asia and the Far East, as I discovered on my Spirit of Adventure cruise in February. You can read all about it here.

Have a look at what Voyages is offering. A word of warning. Some of the itineraries have a lot of sea days, so if you like to see places, as I do, choose with care.

Barely two weeks after disembarking from Holland America Line's Nieuw Amsterdam, my daughter and I are back on a HAL ship. This time we're on the Veendam, sailing from New York to Bermuda, that tiny British enclave in the Atlantic.

It's a funny itinerary because we have a day at sea, stay in Bermuda for four days, then turn around and have a day sailing back to New York. At least the ship visits two ports while we're at the island - we have a day and night moored at St George and then relocate to Hamilton.

We won't be lazing in the sun, though. My daughter and I have lined up a couple of scuba diving lessons each and we're also hoping to have a go on a Segway, one of those upright scooters.

After getting a taste for cycling around Central Park during our overnight stopover in New York - in a steaming 93 degrees Fahrenheit! - we thought it might be fun to rent some cycles on the island as well.

As Bermuda is only 22 miles long and two miles wide, I expect we'll know it quite well by the time we leave. We'll also know the Veendam well, as it's one of Holland America's smaller ships, with capacity for just 1,350 passengers.

Internet willing, I'll be reporting back about the ship and what there is to do on the island so keep checking back.

It's a busy start to the week for the cruising industry with P&O Cruises playing host as four finalists in GMTV's Chefs at Sea contest do battle on Ventura and HRH The Duchess of Cornwall popping in to visit Cunard's Queen Victoria, when the ship calls at Liverpool today.

The GMTV finalists embarked Ventura in Southampton on Saturday and are sailing a week-long cruise to Lisbon as they cook their way through a series of food tasks on board and on shore in a bid to take the top prize - a family cruise in the Caribbean on Ventura with a private cooking masterclass with Marco Pierre White.

All the action will be aired live from Ventura on GMTV every morning this week between 7am and 9am. If you missed today's, be sure to tune in tomorrow.

Meanwhile, The Duchess, who named Queen Victoria in December 2007, will be cutting a cake to help celebrate the 170th anniversary of Cunard's first ship setting out from Liverpool in July 1840.

At noon, she will sound the whistle from the Bridge.

My first task on boarding the Veendam in New York on Sunday was to check out the new stuff Holland America Line added to the ship last year as part of its latest Signature of Excellence package of upgrades.

Veendam was the first to get the $40 million package, which is now being rolled out across the line's other older ships.

There's the adult-only Retreat, a shallow pool that comes complete with loungers - it's a little cramped for my liking but they have been very popular on this cruise to Bermuda - and Mix, which comprises three different bars, one for Martini, one for Champagne and one for Spirits and Ales.

The Martini bar houses HAL's signature piano man - I say signature because the piano bar has been one of the most popular evening venues on every Holland America ship I've been on. Until now. Romeo is a perfectly good player but lacks charisma so the area has no people and no atmosphere.

Instead of trying to get a seat at the piano, my daughter and I have been hanging around to grab one of these great tables with built-in games. You just touch the table to move the pieces around.

There's chess, checkers and all sorts of other games that we haven't worked out yet (mainly because we can't be bothered to read the rules!).

Veendam has a Canaletto Italian restaurant like the one that debuted first on Eurodam - like the Eurodam one it's actually part of the buffet turned into a waiter service eatery in the evening with no charge to eat there.

We tried it last night and were very tempted to book a table there for the rest of the cruise as the service was friendly and the food tasty.

Not that there's anything wrong with the dining room food or service. It's just that we haven't actually managed to get in there yet. We are on open seating and want to turn up and dine, which surely is the whole point of it, but other open-seating diners make reservations because they don't want to take a chance. Upshot? You can get a table before 6.30pm or after 9pm if you want to eat then. Which we don't.

But the really big change has been the addition of this new grade cabin called Lanai. These have floor-to-ceiling doors that open out to the Lower Promenade Deck, making them something between an oceanview and a balcony cabin, albeit your balcony is a little communal.

You can come in and out of the promenade-side doors and they are very handy for the lifeboat drill you'll notice. No prizes for guessing who'll be first in the boats if there's an emergency!

On the down side, you have to put up with passengers taking their morning constitutional past your door (the deck is also the walking track).

And apparently you do have to watch out at night as passers-by can see inside when the lights are on! But then that's what curtains are for.

I'm always a little scathing about people who profess they "always get lost" on a cruise ship, even when they are about to disembark after a week on board.

It's like they have an overwhelming desire to prove how stupid they are.

But I almost understand passengers getting confused on Holland America Line's Veendam. My daughter and I are on deck nine and in cabin 184 on this cruise from New York to Bermuda.

Cabins on deck four begin with a seven or eight.

Make sense of that!

I thought the three and a half days I spent in Bermuda on Holland America Line's Veendam would be quite long enough but I would have been happy to stay longer.

It's a lovely little island, very British but a bit quirky and obsessed with the colour pink. Houses are pink, buses are pink. In deference, when my daughter and I hired cycles in St George, where we were at anchor for a day, we picked pink helmets.

I had expected Bermuda to be like the Caribbean, but it's unlike any country I've visited there.

For one thing it's a very affluent society. For another it's clean. Everywhere. It's also not become just one big shopping opportunity. You can actually walk off the ship and into town without passing a single stall selling baseball hats, I Love Bermuda t-shirts and other tourist tat.

In fact, the only time we saw souvenir stalls was during the Harbour Nights Festival, which takes place every Wednesday evening on Front Street, the main road in front of the cruise terminal in Hamilton, where Veendam was docked.

Veendam is able to get into the city because it is small - just 55,400 tons - whereas Celebrity Cruises' Celebrity Summit and Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Dawn, which left New York with us and spent the same few days in Bermuda, had to tie up at the Dockyard, at the west end of the island.

But back to the Harbour Nights Festival.

For a few hours, Front Street is closed to traffic and filled with stalls selling everything from jewellery and food to tattoos and paintings. There was also a big stage with music and dancing, including a display from some local kids, pictured below.

What I really liked was being able to look at the stuff they were selling - and some of it was quite nice, if astronomically priced - without anyone hanging over your shoulder telling you "no charge for looking, no hassle" while pestering you to look at this, look at that, and offering a price and to do a deal, usually on something you don't even want!, as happens in the Caribbean.

But it's not all rosy in the Bermuda garden. I mentioned the astronomical prices for souvenirs. Actually everything costs a fortune - burgers in a bistro on Front Street cost from $13 (about £9), pizzas were from $15 (£10) - because everything has to be shipped in.

Oliver, who taxied me to Blue Water Divers, where my daughter and I had our first lesson in scuba diving, said they can't even catch enough fish to feed everyone on the island, so supplies have to be topped up with imported stuff from the US.

Apparently the smart locals always ask for the local fish if they eat out as it's so much better.

Oliver was full of interesting facts. All the houses have their own water tank to catch rain water as there is no mains supply, the speed limit is 21mph (but the police will usually turn a blind eye to speeds up to 30mph), by law each household can have only one car.

He also said they were having a drought - about an hour before about two and half inches of rain fell!

What really surprised me was that official segregation between the races only ended in 1961, even though it is a British territory.

A Canadian on the diving trip whose daughter is married to a Bermudian also told me about their strange second-hand car market. It you put a car on the market, you have just 30 days to find a buyer. After that, the car has to go for scrap.

"My son in law wants a bigger car for the family but there's nothing wrong with the car he has. But if it doesn't sell it'll be scrapped."

Crazy or what?

When I boarded Holland America Line's Veendam for a cruise to Bermuda last week I said there were three things I wanted to do on the island - go scuba diving, ride a Segway and go cycling.

Well I achieved two and a half out of three.

Day one, in St George, my daughter and I managed to rent what I am sure were the only two pedal bikes on that side of the island and spent the rest of the day melting in the sweltering heat as we pedalled along the lanes.

For some reason I had thought the island would be flat. It wasn't!

Day four, which was really only half a day, before Veendam set off back to New York, we went over to the Dockyard, and found a bunch of tourists about to set off on a 90-minute Segway tour.

It was 90 minutes we didn't have as we had to be back at the ship, but Ky, the guy in charge, kindly let my daughter and I have a quick go on his machine so we could get the feel for it.

It was so quick the fact we did it really only deserved a half score, but it was brilliant. I definitely want to try that again somewhere.

And then there was the scuba diving, something I'd never done before although the day before the dive we did try snuba - a cross between scuba and snorkelling, where the tank rides on the surface instead of your back, which is much easier.

In the event I was quite impressed that I gave scuba-ing a go as I was a bit nervous as we motored out to the dive site. Not because of the actual diving but I didn't like the idea of being in the water with all that weight attached to me. It seemed a sure way to sink.

In fact the only scary bit was having to step off the back of the boat at the start - I'm not good at standing on the edge of anything and the boat was heaving up and down a lot, which didn't help - and trying to get out of the water at the end.

I got to the third step of the boat's ladder and my legs buckled under me, unable to carry the 12lb of weights strapped around my waist and the 10kg tank on my back. Michael, in charge of Blue Water, had to take the weight as I waddled back to a seat.

I would have been truly embarrassed except I noticed that others were just as pathetic as me!

So Costa Cruises has bowed to the inevitable and is trying its luck with a series of ex-UK cruises next year.

It's an interesting move given Marco Rosa, until recently the Italian line's UK-based boss, but now their Genoa-based area director for the UK, Ireland, Scandinavia and South Africa, always told me it was not worth basing a ship here as their name was not well known enough to compete against the likes of P&O Cruises and Fred Olsen Cruise Lines.

So I wonder what has changed? Are the Brits all suddenly coversant with Costa? Unlikely given the cruise line even closed their UK office on May 1 this year.

Actually I think it's just because someone came up with this rather good idea of a Great Capitals of Europe linking Amsterdam, Hamburg (for excursions to Berlin), Copenhagen, Oslo, Edinburgh and Le Havre (for Paris), and the UK was a handy place to start and end it.

It's a clever itinerary - but bear in mind that it's a bit of a trek from Hamburg to Berlin and from Le Havre to Paris. And watch out for the May 29, July 18 and August 7 sailings, because Edinburgh is out and Invergordon is in. And that is no way a capital, let alone great.

The 10-night cruises are on Costa Magica and mostly roundtrip from Dover - but one at the start of the season starts in Harwich and ends in Dover and one at end of the season is roundtrip from Harwich.

Prices start from £1,019 per person cruise-only.

Due to a technical glitch, Cruise Lines has been out of action for a few days. Apologies.

Just after it went down, my daughter and I flew out to New York to join Princess Cruises' 3,080-passenger Caribbean Princess for a one-week New England and Canada cruise.

It's been non-stop since coming on board, visiting Newport, Boston, Bar Harbor and today we have arrive in St John, our first stop in Canada.

I'll let you know what these places were like in a later post. Meantime I have to dash as we're off to ride the rapids on a jet boat. Sounds fun, especially as we go backwards! The ticket warns we will get very wet.

The Reversing Falls are a strange phenomenon and occur when the high tides in the Bay of Fundy force the St John River to reverse its flow.

Guess I'll know more in a few hours' time. Wish me luck!

I have to award full marks to Princess Cruises for the huge choice of vegetarian dishes they offer at each dinner in the dining room.

On the first evening on this New England cruise on Caribbean Princess there were 10 dishes, the next nine. Admittedly that included the fruit and cheese plates, but it's still an impressive choice.

It's not something I've ever really taken much notice of until recently, when my daughter became a vegetarian.

She was thrilled with the choice on Princess, especially after struggling on Holland America's Veendam a couple of weeks ago, when there was just one veggie main course each evening in the dining room.

Thy did have a very tasty minestrone soup in Canaletto, Veendam's Italian specialty restaurant, but on the third night we went there the chef decided it would be better if there were bacon bits in it.

The waiter was mortified. "No no it can't be meat, it's a vegetarian soup," he proclaimed as he took the bowl back to the kitchen. He arrived with another. Again it had meat in it, again he was sure it couldn't be. He returned armed with a salad and apologising profusely on behalf of the chef. "He's new," he explained.

Happily, when they served minestrone on Caribbean Princess it wasn't just been meat-free, but also cheese free (they automatically put cheese in it on Holland America - actually they put cheese on almost everything, which I find a problem - rather than offering it at the table, as I believe is more correct).

Where Holland America did score was in the Pinnacle Grill steakhouse, where there was a veggie option. In the Crown Grill on Caribbean Princess, my daughter had to make up a main course with a selection of side orders.

And before anyone points it out, I know it's not the best eating venue for a veggie but I like the steaks and didn't want to eat alone.

I had no idea that Halifax, the last port on my New England and Canada voyage with Princess Cruises, had such a tragic history.

I knew the city was linked to the Titanic, although not the detail, but I had never heard of the terrible Halifax Explosion, which occurred five years later.

The Titanic went down 750km east of Halifax, which sent three ships out to help with the recovery of passengers. In the end, they came back with bodies.

Paul, who works for tour company Ambassatours and has spent a long time researching the story of the Titanic, said of the 2,228 passengers on the ship, just 705 managed to get into lifeboats, leaving 1,520 to perish. They found 328 bodies and 209 were brought to Halifax.

He took me to Fairview Lawn where 121 people were buried and explained the different headstones. White Star Line, which owned Titanic, paid for a stone with a name and number if known, but no mention that the person had died on the Titanic as they didn't want to draw attention to the fact their ship had sunk.

Relatives who paid for the stones were not sympathetic. They made sure to put that the loved one died on the Titanic.

This one, for J Dawson, is believed to have been the inspiration for the name of Leonardo DiCaprio's character in the film - Jack Dawson. Paul says when the film first came out this was the most photographed headstone in the cemetery. His research shows J Dawson was one of the lowliest crew the ship.

They have a very good exhibition about the Titanic in the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic, which is close to where Caribbean Princess was docked so easy for cruise passengers to visit, and also about the Halifax Explosion, which Paul said was the worst manmade explosion in history other than the dropping of the atom bombs in Japan.

It happened in December 6 1917. In a nutshell, a French ammunition ship, Mont Blanc, was sailing into the harbour, and struck by a Norwegian vessel, Imo, on its way out but on the wrong side of the waterway.

The French crew, expecting the ship to blow immediately, escaped on the lifeboats, leaving the ship, now ablaze, drifting in the harbour. Twenty minutes it came to rest at a pier in the industrial heart of the city and exploded.

Some 2,000 people were killed, another 9,000 were injured and 1,600 homes were destroyed. As this picture shows, parts of the city were levelled.

On the Harbour Hopper tour of Halifax - it's like a Duck tour except you travel in a Lark V amphibious vehicle that was used the Vietnam War instead of one from World War Two - Gina, our guide, pointed to one of the clocks on the City Hall, which always stands at 09.05, marking the time of the explosion.

She also introduced us to Theodore Tugboat, who starred in a children's TV series in the 1980s (a bit like Thomas the Tank Engine I guess) and now does fun harbour tours for families, and pointed out a statue of Winston Churchill.

"He once said, 'Halifax is more than a shed at the end of a wharf', and we were so pleased we built him a statue,' she told us.

I don't know if it's true, but it made me smile!

It's not often you get to see a cruise ship from this perspective!

This is Caribbean Princess anchored outside Bar Harbor in the US and my daughter and I on a sea kayaking excursion that took us past the ship and around the shore of a couple of the islands across the bay.

The paddling was hard work - especially after we had been out for a couple of hours, but I reckon we made a good choice as Bar Harbor was cute but rather lacking in places of interest.

Actually it was also rather lacking in the seals that Molly, our guide, said would pop up around the kayaks, but it was a wonderfully peaceful way to spend a couple of hours - and a more interesting way to exercise than on a treadmill in the gym - so we didn't really mind.

Newport, our first stop on the New England and Canada cruise, was equally cute - very Stepford Wives with its ornate mansions and manicured lawns - but equally not the most exciting place in the world.

Some of the mansions are open for tours, there are bike rides and Segway trips (which we couldn't do as you need a driver's license and Ilana, as a 16-year-old Brit, doesn't have one), but I'd recommend you explore alone as it's so easy.

We visited the Touro Synagogue, below, America's oldest place of Jewish worship, dedicated in 1763, and popped into St Mary's Church, where former US President John F Kennedy married Jacqueline de Bouvier on September 12 1953.

We also walked to the beaches on the other side of the island and went for a stroll along the cliff path. Not a cliff path like the narrow ones I know in Cornwall mind, with mud and puddles, and lined with spiky gorse and brambles, but tarmaced and wide to cater for walkers, joggers and cyclists.

As I say, all very manicured, all very clean all very neat, but a delightful little place, full of very polite and friendly people.

Actually people were polite and friendly everywhere we visited on this cruise. The locals offered to help if they saw us looking at a map, cars stopped for us to cross the road. A bit embarrassing really as the first couple of times we didn't realise they had stopped for us, so we stood looking at them, wondering what they were doing!

It was even like that in Boston, a big city but a fabulous place. I fell in love with it as we walked from the port to the centre of town, along the waterfront, a lovely walk which took about 30 minutes, going slow and enjoying the views.

Once you are near the city, you can head into the centre or just carry on walking around the harbour, as we did, passing the aquarium, which was a big attraction judging by the queue to get in. Actually the seal pools were visible from outside so we saw the seals we missed in Bar Harbor without queueing or paying to go in!

There are hop-on, hop-off buses around the city from about $32 per person per day, harbour tours, dolphin-watching trips and DIY walking tours taking in the key revolutionary sites, but we found our way to the Old State House Museum, which was built in 1713 to house the government offices of the Massachusettes Bay Colony and where guides explained Boston's pivotal role in the American War of Independence, and tells the story of the Boston Massacre in 1770, in which five people died (OK not much of a massacre but it helped to solidify hatred of the Brits).

Then we headed to Quincy Market, which is a lively places of stalls, places to eat and street entertainers, past the burial ground where revolutionary Samuel Adams and victims of the massacre were buried, and to the real Cheers Bar (there is a bar called Cheers by the market and it was packed, but a friend who lives in Boston assured me it was not the one that inspired the TV programme).

By then it was time to stop for a beer. The local brew of course, called what else but Samuel Adams.

Cheers!

Most New England and Canada cruises are in the autumn so you can go and see the fall foliage.

I'm sure the red leaves are stunning, but I reckon August is a far better time to be there.

For one thing we had superb weather every day on our Princess Cruises' voyage - in the 70s and 80s Fahrenheit - and flat calm seas. In autumn, I was told, it can get rough as they catch the tail end of the hurricanes.

For another, we had the ports to ourselves. We could hardly move in Bar Harbor because of the 3,400 or so fellow passengers who had come off the Caribbean Princess and were swarming around trying to find their coaches, while the coaches themselves were trying to manoeuvre along the narrow streets.

And that was just one ship. I dread to think what it would be like with two or even three ships in, as apparently happens on some days in September and October. In St John and Halifax, I was told they had days last autumn when there were six ships in town.

A nightmare, according to the guides. And they are the ones who should be happy to see the crowds as they make money from them.

So my advice? Go in July or August to get the weather and avoid the crowds. Princess Cruises is starting its New England and Canada cruises very early next year, on May 17.

My other advice? Pack a hefty dose of patience. You have to tender ashore in Newport and Bar Harbor and Princess really struggled to cope in both places. We got to the harbour at Newport with an hour to spare, looked at the queue, and decided to sit on the grass by the pier, enjoy the sun and wait until we could see the end.

Two-and-a-half hours, lots of sun and five coach-loads of passengers later (all of them arriving after the last tender was supposed to have left) we finally got on the last tender going back to the ship. It was 5pm and the ship should have left at 3.30pm. We had waited for an unbelievable two and a half hours.

I've never seen a crew make a ship ready to depart so fast!

Seems I am not the only one interested in the Titanic. A centenary cruise organised by Miles Morgan Travel is almost sold out - and there are still about 20 months before it sets off.

The cruise, on Fred Olsen Cruise Line's Balmoral, leaves Southampton on April 8 2012, exactly 100 years after the ill-fated ship set its course for New York.

People from all over the world have booked, including relatives of those who died, historians and people who are just interested in the Titanic story. Prices for the last remaining cabins start from £3,350 per person including the one-way flight back from New York.

Interestingly, Balmoral itself has hardly had a history of smooth sailing. I just hope it makes the crossing without losing too many passengers to the dreaded Norovirus vomiting bug.

Less than 24 hours after landing in the UK after our Princess New England cruise, my daughter and I were back at Heathrow, this time on the way to Venice for a Greek Islands cruise on ultra-luxury cruise line Yachts of Seabourn's 450-passenger Seabourn Odyssey.

A bit of a change from the 3,400 passengers with us on Caribbean Princess last week!

Venice was cloudy when we landed and gradually got wetter and wetter - much like the UK we had left and the weather when I was in Venice last June for a two-night pre-naming inaugural on Odyssey.

Then everything went wrong because the ship wasn't quite ready; this time everything has gone right.

We woke up in Split, in Croatia, next day to baking hot sun - and it was only 9am. Everyone raves about Dubrovnik, the walled city in Croatia, and it's a brilliant place, but Split is as amazing, built up around the palace of Roman emperor Diocletian, the only one to resign rather than be assassinated or just die (actually I'm not sure any managed that).

The picture shows the walls of the palace, and how the new houses have been built on the side of it.

We decided it would be fun to go up the bell tower and have a view across the city. Bad move. My daughter got nervous and turned around when she saw the iron staircase start to bend; I made it up three more stairways, white knuckles clutching the handrails, until my fear of heights turned me completely to jelly and I had to go back as well.

Next day we arrived in Bari, Italy, and took an excursion to Alberabello, about an hour's drive from the city, to see the trulli houses - houses built using the dry-stone wall technique and with conical roofs.

Maresa, our guide, explained the gentry in years gone by didn't want to pay taxes on houses for the farmers who worked their land, and they didn't want the farmers to pay the taxes wither as that would mean it was their land.

So they came up with these trulli, which could be demolished fast by removing the keystone at the top if tax inspectors came sniffing around.

There are about 1,000 trulli in Alberabello, and they were impressive, but a traffic jam on the way home meant we were delayed getting back to Bari and missed the chance to look around there too, which was a shame as I was looking forward to having a Marinara pizza - that's one made without cheese that is only available in Italy as far as I am aware.

Today has been very different - Seabourn Odyssey anchored off the Greek island of Cephalonia this morning, the one made famous by the film Captain Corelli's Mandolin (although the book was far better), and the marina at the back of the ship was lowered.

The crew spent ages getting everything ready, including a rather bizarre makeshift swimming pool (so small that a beach ashore would have been a far better bet for anyone wanting to swim) before the powers that be decided there was too much swell in the sea and it was unsafe.

So then they had to pack away the marina, which has sail boats, kayaks and pedal boats. But they did let us go out on the banana boat, which was a bit sedate although we kept asking to go faster, and in the donuts, which were much more fun.

Basically you sit in an inner tube and get pulled behind a speed boat, getting half-drowned in the process! If I could market the massage your posterior gets in that 15 minutes or so, I would be a rich woman - especially if I charged the kind of prices they levy in the spa on this ship!

Tomorrow it's Katakolon and a trip to Olympia, site of the first Olympic Games. See you there.

Some 260 people live in the Greek town of Katakolon. Yesterday four cruise ships descended on the place - Seabourn Odyssey, which I am on, Ruby Princess, Costa Fortuna and Louis Cruises' Coral - between them swelling the population by around 7,000 for a few hours.

I reckon almost everyone of those 7,000 went to Olympia, site of the original Olympic Games, which is where I found myself soon after 9am.

It's a fascinating place - made all the more interesting by our guide Giovanna. She was so good my daughter and I made sure to get her coach the next day, when we visited the Diros Caves from Gythion.

You can get a taxi from the port to Olympia but I knew from the previous visit a few years ago that without a good guide the site looks like nothing but a collection of ruins with a column here and there. My daughter had never been and my memory needed refreshing!

The buildings were demolished by an earthquake in 522AD and the place forgotten. Over the centuries, 20 feet of earth and mud buried the site, which was rediscovered at the end of the 19th century when excavations uncovered the remains of the temples, stadiums and statues.

Someone then had the idea of restarting the games. The first modern Olympics was held in Athens in 1896 and of course it was back there in 2004.

Olympia was actually a religious place where ancient Greeks came to pay respects to the god Zeus and held athletic races at the same time. By 776BC, the event had turned into a five-day pan-Grecian event with competitors coming from all over the Greek world to take part. Because it was not an easy journey to get there, the priests then decided to make it every four years.

Originally competitors hid their modesty under a skirt, but one day one runner's skirt fell off so they all decided it was better to run naked - because of that women were banned from attending the games and if any were caught trying to sneak in dressed as men they were put to death!

Rather than millions of dollars or getting to name a cruise ship, as happens now, their reward for winning was an olive wreath and a statue outside the Temple of Zeus.

In the 2nd century BC, the Romans conquered the area but continued with the games. However, they ended in 392AD as they were a celebration of Pagan gods and Rome had just become Christian.

Giovanna was full of interesting snippets of information:

* The athletes tried to enhance their performance by drinking red wine mixed with honey. If found out ("I don't know how; suppose they could smell it"), they were banned from competing for life.

* In 1997, when Athens won the 2004 Olympics, money was donated for five columns on the Temple of Zeus to be restored. Work started in 2001; finally, in 2003, one column was put up. It allegedly cost £5 million so they couldn't afford to put up anymore. You judge - was it worth the money?

* Running tracks are supposed to be 184 metres long but the one at Olympia - above - is 192 metres because it was measured out by Hercules and he had big feet.

OK, so it's a myth, but who cares!

A bit of fast manoeuvring meant Ilana and I succeeded in joining Giovanna's tour to the Diros Caves. It was so worth while for another interesting day out (and at almost $100 for each shore excursion we have done on Seabourn Odyssey, you want to be sure you have your money's worth!).

As an aside, there was a five-and-a-quarter-hour bike ride in Bari that cost $599. $599!! For that I would want to take the bike home! On ultra-luxury ships you don't pay for drinks or gratuities, but they make up for that in other ways.

Gythion, the port nearest the caves, is famous for its octopus - a speciality in the restaurants - and being the "land of the gods", but as we drove to Diros things definitely went downhill. We were driving though the land of the Mani, a land forgotten by the gods.

It is certainly a hard place to eke out a living. No water so even tough-old olive trees are stunted, a landscape that no livestock other than goats can survive on and, in Turkish times, from 1460-1827, a lawless society.

It all started when one man's goat ate another man's olive tree. Olive tree man shot the goat, goat man decided here was no point in shooting the tree so he shot the olive man's son and after that anyone was fair game and society revolved around revenge.

It meant the Mani were not very sociable. Not very surprising! Their front doors were on the first floors of their houses; if they liked you they lowered steps so you could enter, if not they probably shot you!

Giovanni also told us about nearby Sparta, where men were "owned" by the city and spent their lives at war, while boys were trained to fight from age 14. The Spartans were conquered just once - by the Romans in the 2nd century BC. Sparta ceased to exist until 1827, when Greece emerged from Turkish rule and a new city was built on the ruins of the old one.

And then finally we arrived at the Diros Caves - discovered apparently when a hunter chased a fox down a hole and found himself in an underground palace.

The caves are 14km long so you don't cover them all - it's a 1,200-metre boat ride though low caverns - we had to duck most of the time or risk being decapitated - and a 300-metre walk.

Next stop on this Greek Islands cruise is Mykonos, made fashionable in the 1950s by Aristotle Onassis and where the motto apparently was "let them do what they want as long as they pay for it".

Giovanna said you have to arrive on the island by yacht or you are "just one of the crowd".

Heaven forbid that I should ever be that! I just hope the Yachts of Seabourn's yacht I am on counts, even if it does hold 450 passengers!

Heaven forbid that cruising should ever become as elitist as it once was. You must know the old saying that cruising used to be for the "well bred and nearly dead".

But things are surely going too far the other way when passengers have to be kicked off a cruise ship for fighting, as happened recently Carnival Cruise Lines.

Reports say a brawl broke out in one of the dance clubs on Carnival Dream and led to 10 people being escorted off the ship in Costa Maya, Mexico, with an 11th person deciding to disembark.

It's not the first time something like this has happened. Two passengers on P&O Cruises' Ventura were "put ashore" during the ship's Christmas/New Year Caribbean cruise in 2008/09.

Then the fighting and bad behaviour was blamed on chavs who had bought a cheap cruise and didn't know how to behave on a ship. Well anywhere, surely, if the reports of what they did were true.

That sounds frighteningly like the "us and them" syndrome but I fear a bit of human nature is also to blame here. Mix alcohol, high holiday spirits and Caribbean heat and things can get out of control - usually for the most ridiculous of reasons I'm sure.

Not that I can see it happening on Seabourn Odyssey, which I was on last week and where there's plenty of alcohol sloshing around as it's all free.

Happily I know from my own experience such incidents don't happen too often - or maybe it's that I am tucked up in bed by the time they do! - and the cruise lines don't mess about when it comes to dealing with any problems.

What does anyone think? Is brawling on cruise ships a growing problem?

Fellow blogger Gene Sloan reports that Americans can now get a week in a balcony cabin on Royal Caribbean International's Oasis of the Seas, the world's biggest cruise ship, for under $1,000 (£666 at current exchange rates).

It's not really surprising prices are falling given Royal Caribbean has to fill the 5,400-passenger ship week after week, even now the launch hype has ended. And very soon they will also have to fill sister ship Allure of the Seas, launching in December.

There are some great cruise-only prices here for Oasis - Royal Caribbean's website has balcony cabins from just over £1,000 per person this year, Cruise.co.uk has them from just under £1,000.

But they always say we import all our trends from the US so I reckon you should keep a look out for some even better prices over the next few weeks.

You can always tell when National Cruise Week is looming. First, even better cruise deals than usual start trickling into the in-box and second, you start to get silly pictures.

Well I'm all for the latter if they raise a few spirits. So here's to Stephen Moffet, MSC Cruises UK sales director, Adele Foster, left, and Flo Powell, right, both from the Passenger Shipping Association, seen here on MSC Opera during a turnaround in Dover recently.

National Cruise Week runs from September 19-26 and promises good deals and fun events to get you in the mood to buy a cruise.

I had a sneaking suspicion my cruise on Yachts of Seabourn's Seabourn Odyssey was going to be good, mainly because I know the ship and have experienced Seabourn's service before.

My daughter and I were in a standard veranda suite, so not the best accommodation on the ship, but with Seabourn you don't need to aim for the top to have a room big enough for two of you to have our own space. A real sign of luxury to me.

The bathroom was spacious - honestly as big as some single cabins I have seen - with a separate shower and bath. The suite had a walk-in closet, an iPod dock and of course a balcony; the TV had a built-in selection of something like 200 films.

Before you ask, no I didn't count them so I may be way off the mark. But there were a lot and it was an eclectic mix to suit all tastes. My only gripe was that there wasn't a book listing the films as it would have been so much easier to see what was available.

At 30,000 tons, the ship is a lovely size, not so small that it feels every wave, but not so big that you feel exhausted just getting from one end to the other.

The décor is tasteful but understated as suits the ultra-luxury market and I just love the way you can go to a bar and waiters appear offering Champagne, cocktails, any drink you chose - and it's all free.

OK, I know you pay for it in the cruise price, but not having waiters hovering for you to sign for drinks makes the atmosphere on board so much friendlier.

I really enjoyed the itinerary - and give myself a pat on the back that we chose good shore excursions in Katakolon and Gythion, neither of which ports has much to do that can't be done in under an hour.

I overheard one man desperate to book an excursion in Mykonos after our day in Gythion ("we'd seen it in half an hour. I can't stand a day like that again") and disappointed when there was only a beach trip, which he didn't want.

Just as well he didn't book though, because the wind was blowing a gale in Mykonos, more so than usual, so the captain changed the all-aboard time from 10pm that evening to 2pm because the forecast said it would get even worse.

Just before 2pm, he decided the wind had risen as much as it was going to and announced the tenders would keep running.

But by then most passengers had "done" Mykonos, so they put on a film to give people to do.

Ilana and I went back ashore and had another walk around the maze of streets. It's a great place to just lose yourself for an hour or so.

Although overall the cruise was excellent, and I could happily be seduced by the ultra-luxury lifestyle, some things were very disappointing.

The shows were dull at best, even the comedian, and as a result mostly poorly attended (the best evening was when they had a party on the open deck, when everyone was up and dancing), they let themselves down a few times on service - food and drink ordered that never showed - and I was surprised how inflexible they were at meal times.

One evening in the dining room I asked if I could have a starter from upstairs, in the bistro. The waitress said that was not allowed but she would ask for special permission.

It was granted, but how strange she had to ask. When I have cruised with Spirit of Adventure, nowhere near so luxurious, they have never batted an eyelid if I asked for a meal from "upstairs".

My daughter had a bigger problem as a vegetarian. In the dining room there was always at least one veggie starter and two main course veggie options - one different every day, the other the same pasta from the always-available menu.

In the bistro - it's the buffet, which is waiter service with a themed meal each evening - there were no veggie meals at all. They would deign to fetch the one from the dining room menu, but for some reason they would not bring you the pasta dish (which often was much nicer!).

So Princess still wears the veggie crown!

As an aside, during the Captain's welcome, when neither of us could eat the fishy canapés going around, one kind soul (I know her name but don't want to risk spelling it incorrectly) whizzed off and fetched us some peanuts. Brilliant!

That's more what I expected and have experienced before with Seabourn. For a moment they were back to their old top-notch service self.

Here's a heartwarming story to end the week.

Passengers and crew on Voyages of Discovery's ship Discovery and Swan Hellenic's Minerva started a collection for the Pakistan Emergency Appeal and raised a total of £2,936.70.

All Leisure, the parent company of Voyages and Swan, decided to double this and has donated a total £5,873.40 to the Disaster Emergency Committee's Pakistan Flood Appeal.

I've been at home a week; high time to get cruising again. So first thing Saturday my daughter and I are flying to Catania in Sicily to join Star Clippers' 170-passenger sailing ship Star Flyer.

Only problem is, while we will be there on time (hopefully!), the ship won't. It's been delayed, so we are going to have a day and night in Giardini Naxos, the port for Taormina, and will be joining it a day late, on Sunday.

We then cruise through Italy, calling at Lipari, sailing past Stromboli (fingers crossed maybe this time it will be erupting!), visiting Sorrento and the tiny ports of Ponza, Giglio, Portoferraio on Elba and Lerici (actually because of the delay one of those calls will probably have to go, but not sure which as I write this) before we fly home from Nice in France.

If I can post, I will but the ship has no wif-fi as I don't hold out much hope. So ciao ciao. I'll see you when I'm back in the UK in a week's time.

I wasn't going to put up any posts on this cruise but a) I've discovered why Star Flyer was delayed a day, preventing me from getting on board when I should have, and b) there is wi-fi after all and given they have gone to the trouble of putting it on, it seems churlish not to use it.

According to my spies (that's the passengers who were already on the Star Clippers-owned ship when the delay occurred) the ship's flag was changed from Luxembourg to Valletta a little while ago but nothing was changed on the ship.

Small things like changing its call sign, the country of registry on the lifeboats and lifebuoys, and so on.

Seems the Greeks were not happy with this so when, on this cruise - a 14-nighter that has been sold also as two seven-night voyages - the ship was due to move from Greek to Italian waters, they "arrested" it.

For 23 hours, the ship was held outside Elafonisos by customs officials while things were put in order. Passengers were not allowed off the ship and some hasty paint work changed the name on the lifeboats from Luxembourg to Valletta.

Captain Yurii Kuschenko said he didn't know why was the ship's registry changed after 20 years or so flying the Luxembourg flag, but I'm guessing money is in there somewhere.

Or maybe Star Clippers is getting ready to offer weddings at sea, which is possible under the Malta flag. It would be a wonderfully romantic way to say "I do".

It was not really a surprise to hear that German cruise line Hapag-Lloyd's exploration ship Hanseatic sailed successfully through the Northwest Passage.

If it had been unsuccessful, I'm sure we would have heard about it.

Nevertheless, it's been quite an adventure for the passengers, especially as very few cruise ships will even try to go through this stretch of water, which has tripped up many experienced explorers in its time.

The Northwest Passage bit of the cruise took 15 days, with very little to see other than ice, wildlife - oh and Hapag-Lloyd's other expedition ship, Bremen. In all, it was a 26-day voyage that started in Kangerlussuaq in Greenland and ends today in Nome, Alaska.

Don't worry if you missed it. Hanseatic will be going through a portion of the Passage next year, on a shorter 19-day cruise from Kangerlussuaq to Reykjavik in Iceland on August 14-September 2.

If you want the full experience, go for Bremen. It's going through in August - a 25-day journey from Nome to Reykjavik from August 13 to September 7.

It's not every day you go to a cruise event and come away with a packet of gnocchi, a pot of tomato sauce and a large wedge of cheese.

So I was bewildered to be handed all three items in my press pack when I went to Southampton this week to see the traditional handover of gifts to mark MSC Poesia's maiden call to the port.

Maybe MSC Cruises was looking to cut costs by getting everyone to cook their own lunch?

Happily not. It was all because there was a cookery demonstration before lunch with one of the chefs showing us how to make gnocchi.

It was also to promote MSC's three forthcoming food and wine-themed cruises - on MSC Lirica as it sails from Genoa to Buenos Aires in November, on a Venice roundtrip voyage on MSC Magnifica next April and a Genoa-Genoa cruise on MSC Splendida in December 2011.

On sea days, there'll be cookery demonstrations, wine, cigar and liquor-tasting events, sessions explaining how to mix a cocktail, as well as lessons on how to receive guests.

That's the good old napkin folding!

Who says cruising isn't what it used to be?

As well as handing over plaques, books and other gifts during MSC Poesia's maiden visit to Southampton this week, MSC Cruises UK and Ireland MD Giulio Libutti took the opportunity to remind everyone that MSC Opera's no-fly cruises next summer will depart from Southampton.

They are switching from Dover because Southampton has better road, rail and air links - a fact passengers seem to agree with as bookings for 2011's no-fly cruises are 100% up on the same time last year.

I reckon they are also making the move because they can now offer cruises to France and Spain instead of only going to the Baltic and Norwegian fjords.

MSC Opera, pictured here going through a fjord, will be sailing nine eight-night cruises that call at Amsterdam, then spin around and go to La Rochelle and Cherbourg in France, and Bilbao and La Coruna in Spain.

Passengers can embark at any of the ports - a clever move which allows MSC to tap into the Dutch, French and Spanish markets as well as the UK.

Britons taking no-fly cruises from Southampton can expect traditional afternoon tea, free tap water with their meals and tea or coffee afterwards (you don't get any of that on MSC's other cruises) and some Brit dishes on the menu.

I'm intrigued to know what Italian-style cottage pie is like!

I know we shouldn't laugh when other nationalities make a mistake speaking English. Heaven knows I have probably made enough howlers in my time trying to speak another language.

But there are just those few times when something is said and you have to stop and think "what on earth does that mean?"

It happened when I was on MSC Poesia this week, during the gnocchi cookery demo. The chef only spoke Italian so cruise director Anna, from Holland I believe, translated.

All was going well until we were told we have to put two axe in the mix. Now I can think of several things to do with an axe, but none have much to do with making gnocchi.

My thanks to Massimo from MSC Cruises, who was on my left and able to explain they were eggs. He knew because when he was growing up his job every Sunday was to help his mother make the gnocchi for lunch!

The other WHAT??? moment was when I was cruising with Star Clippers last week, on a excursion to Pompeii from Star Flyer. At one place I was unable to hear the guide, Cecilia, an Austrian living in Italy, so when she had finished and everyone had gone to look around, I asked what we were looking at.

"It's the house of the dancing phone," she replied.

I know the Romans left us with many things, but I was pretty sure phones were not one of them. "Dancing what?" I asked, more than a little bewildered. "Phone," she replied.

There comes a point when it's embarrassing to keep asking but in this instance I really had to know. Phone was just so unlikely! Finally we got there, mainly because some of the other passengers had come back and helped me out. It was a dancing faun.

Cecilia was clearly irritated that I had dared to ask anything, as she was when anyone asked a question, which left a very bad taste.

As did the fact it took us two hours to get from the ship in Sorrento to Pompeii, after messing about with tenders, coaches, more coaches and toilet stops, which left us with just one hour, 10 minutes on the site.

That was barely time to see anything, especially as she translated everything into German (although I'll swear everyone on the tour spoke English).

I tell all this because a) it is quite funny looking back and b) it shows how hit and miss cruise ship excursions can be. Two I did with Seabourn a couple of weeks ago were great.

This was definitely the worst 120 euros (60 per person) I've spent in a long while.

Have you has good, bad or indifferent cruise ship excursions? Drop me a line and let me know.

Crystal Cruises has a new Go Green excursion in Malta for passengers visiting the island on two itineraries on Crystal Serenity next month.

It's not one of the new voluntourism days out it announced it is introducing in 2011 when I was on Crystal Symphony because they will be free and you have to pay for this one, but it's in the same vein.

It costs $95, lasts eight hours and involves planting trees and learning about conservation efforts at the island's Ta' Qali National Park. That's followed by lunch at an organic farm and a visit to an orphanage, where passengers "will donate time and food to the young residents".

I assume the idea is you buy food from the organic farm rather than bring tins of baked beans and packets of pasta from the UK.

However, think how worthy it would be to go without that fourth or fifth pair of shoes and instead bring some toys for the kids instead.

Surely everyone could manage that?

SeaDream Yacht Club is to cruise up the Amazon for the first time in 2012, offering voyages from Barbados to Manaus with an optional seven-night extension all the way to Iquitos.

President Bob Lepisto, on a visit to London yesterday, says everything is still in the planning stages but as he gave away the secret to me he must be fairly sure it will go ahead.

The ultra-luxury line is clearly becoming more adventurous in its old age - it will be 10 years old in September 2011 (that's an anniversary you'll never forget).

Next summer it is offering its first Baltic season. Very short, but it's giving past passengers somewhere new to cruise other than the line's usual Mediterranean and Caribbean stamping ground and should also help them pick up a few Scandinavian followers.

Best of all for the Brits, the cruise line will be making its first visit to our shores en route to the Baltic, so SeaDream is going overboard (sorry!) to make sure as many people as possible have a chance to visit the vessel.

SeaDream I, which holds just 112 passengers, will be arriving on May 7 2011, mooring up alongside HMS Belfast and staying there for the next two days for various events including an overnight on board for a few lucky folk.

Bob didn't let on whether my invitation was in the post so guess I'll just have to wait and see as well.

A message on Cruise West's website confirms that as of today, Saturday September 18, the cruise line has ceased operations.

It admits it was unable to keep going financially and blames the continued lack of economic confidence for the fact that its negotions with third parties came to nothing.

It's very sad for the company and its employees, but I also feel for the passengers who booked, not knowing at the time that the company was in trouble and their holiday - and money - might be jeopardy.

They now face having to get their money back, which is always a long drawn-out procedure, as I discovered last year when the then Hebridean International Cruises collapsed.

As reported by Cruise Community last Tuesday, and also by cruise watcher Ally Jones, writing in to this website, one of Cruise West's ships, Spirit of Oceanus, the former Renaissance Five, has already been sold and will be renamed Sea Spirit.

Renaissance Cruises, you will remember, collapsed in 2001 after the terrorist attacks on the US. Clearly this is not the world's luckiest ship!

Cruise Community also says Orion Expedition Cruises, itself a small ship expedition cruise line, is offering discounts of up to 50% to passengers who were booked with Cruise West.

It's a great opportunity for Orion to grab new business, but one I'm sure it wished had not happened. Failing companies understandably create jitters that the cruise industry could well do without.

It's not often I can't make up my mind about a ship, but after one week on Star Clippers' sailing ship Star Flyer I was still asking myself, was this a luxurious experience or not?

For sure it's not luxury in the conventional sense of the word as Yachts of Seabourn and Silversea are. The cabins are small, the bathrooms are pokey, there's no one to escort you to your cabin when you first arrive.

Indeed when my daughter and I were disembarking after seven days on board, the crew in the dining room said goodbye and just watched as we carried our luggage up the stairs.

But look at it from another angle. You are on a real sailing ship that gracefully slices through the water when the canvas is hoisted (and that's most of the time, on the orders of Mikael Krafft, who owns the cruise line).

It holds just 170 passengers (and on my cruise there were only around 100), there are no dress codes and no one telling you where to sit in the evening. That's my idea of luxury.

The decor is lovely, with lots of brass and mahogany (see pictures below), the guys behind the bar and most of the waiters did a great job and the food, while not gourmet, was not bad.

My daughter and I boarded Star Flyer in Giardini Naxos, Sicily, the port for Taormina, and the first thing that struck me (apart from how small it looked) was that they were operating the tender in conditions other cruise lines would have deemed too rough and therefore dangerous.

True they had to keep going for a while because it was the only way we and 10 others who were starting our cruise there could get on. But the captain could have told the passengers who sailed in on the ship they would stop the tender service early.

It happened on Seabourn when we were in Mykonos just a week before and the sea was nowhere near as rough.

But no. On Star Flyer they treat you as adults, able to make up your own mind whether you can get on and off a tender, which was very refreshing.

(My only complaint was that the crew in charge of the tenders told you to take your time and when you did, they yanked you out. On one occasion, it left me with a cut and bruised leg.)

The bruise aside, everything (including the price, from £2,600 per person for 14 nights cruise-only) should have combined to provide a luxurious experience.

But it wasn't. Something was missing and I'm still struggling to know what.

The poor entertainments team didn't help - the cruise director excelled in speaking French, English and German but little else, and the two lads with her did as little as possible the entire seven days.

While you don't come on Star Flyer for the entertainment, some of their efforts were so lack-lustre they would have been better not bothering at all.

I don't think the excluded drinks helped either. You've got the small ship, the sailing, the convivial open dining - and each couple ordering their own bottle of wine. Or more usually getting the last dregs from the bottle they bought a few nights before.

I'm sure if you asked everyone if they would like wine included with meals they would all say "oh no, we don't drink much".

But you just include the drinks and then tell them and watch their faces light up and the conversation flow. I saw it happen the first night I was on Spirit of Adventure in February, when none of us knew drinks were included.

Given the cruise line's buying power, it wouldn't cost them much so likewise it would add very little to the cruise price, but it would take the whole experience to another level.

And maybe help fill their ships - although actually I think Star Flyer was much nicer with so few passengers on board!

Tomorrow's Watchdog - BBC One, 8pm - promises "undercover cameras expose the true conditions on board one of the UK's most popular cruise ships".

Sad to say, it's Thomson Cruises' Thomson Dream, which has turned out to be a bit of a nightmare ever since they decided to charter it from Costa Cruises.

They took delivery of it in April - so it's a bit premature to call it one of the UK's most popular ships - and when I was on board passengers were moaning about the food, the fact there was no hot water and the air conditioning.

I'd understood the problems had been sorted so either Thomson was a little too optimistic or this programme is a little out of date. And I ask you, if there are continuing problems, how can they say this is one of the UK's more popular ships?

Adds a bit of spice, I suppose.

In a statement Thomson says the feature follows-up complaints from three customers and shows undercover footage taken by reporters who travelled on the ship over the summer.

The cruise line declined to be on the programme and instead sent Watchdog a full statement, apparently seeking to clarify its position and refuting the majority of the claims they are intending to make.

Thomson's communications director Christian Cull has also issued a holding statement, with another to be released after it has seen the programme.

"We're naturally sorry to hear that some of our customers did not enjoy their time on board Thomson Dream this summer. The fuller picture is far more positive, however. The majority of our customers have told us they enjoyed a fantastic holiday with us. For example, 94 per cent of customers rated the experience as good or excellent at the time Watchdog's team were onboard.

"Our customers' health and safety remains our ultimate priority, and should we have any reason to believe there was a risk to anyone due to travel on Thomson Dream, we would not continue to offer the holidays.

"Thomson Cruises is proud of the service record and positive feedback we receive about all our cruises and ships. And we are confident those due to travel on Thomson Dream will enjoy a quality holiday experience in line with their expectations."

* Have you sailed on the Thomson Dream this summer? Was it good or bad? Why not write in and tell us.

So how many of you watched Thomson Cruises being savaged by Watchdog on Thursday?

It was a damning indictment of Thomson Dream, but I would make two important points.

One: I am told the film was made in May or June, so surely they should have gone on board before airing the programme to see what passengers are saying now. But maybe that wouldn't have made such a good story (and did they really miss the fact the ship was in that fatal crash at Sharm el Sheikh?).

Two: Since the programme was broadcast, I have read plenty of reviews from past passengers who said they had a great time on the ship. Which just proves you only ever hear from people with negative things to say.

Not that I am here to be an apologist for Thomson Cruises.

My own observation for the Telegraph when I was on in April, just after it entered service for Thomson, was that it was "neither glitzy nor glamorous, nor indeed luxurious as suggested in the brochure".

It's that same old cruising malaise. If it's a cruise ship, it must be luxurious. Actually it's not. The ship is more than 20 years old and sailing for the cruise arm of a mass-market tour operator that specialises in good but budget holidays.

The same cruise line that once told me it's acceptable to charge passengers for using the security boxes at reception on its ships because the type of people who book with Thomson are used to paying for them on its land-based holidays.

It was also quite wrong for the "Thomson agent" in the film to say the ship was five star. She had no idea what she was talking about so gave the answer the caller wanted to hear to make a sale and earn commission. Such behaviour gives all travel agents a bad name.

However, taking Thomson to task for calling Dream their "new" ship was nonsense. It is Thomson's new ship. It just happens to be an old new ship (plenty was written about it being chartered from Costa Cruises before Thomson took delivery for those who could be bothered to look).

Since when have cruise lines proudly announced, "we're buying an old ship"?

In a press release announcing Adonia last December, P&O Cruises said: "The new ship will be named Adonia". This "new" ship launched in 2001 as R8 for Renaissance Cruises, became Minerva II for Swan Hellenic and is now sailing as Royal Princess for Princess Cruises.

In fairness also, managing director David Selby always said they would not be spending any money on the ship until the dry-dock in November. Whether that was a sound decision is another question.

Thomson Cruises' response to the programme was surprisingly low-key.

"Thomson Cruises is naturally sorry to hear that some of our customers did not enjoy their time on board Thomson Dream this summer. The fuller picture is far more positive, however. Throughout the summer the majority of our customers have told us that they enjoyed a fantastic holiday with us.  For example, 94% of customers rated the experience as good or excellent at the time Watchdog's team were onboard.

"The report has brought to light that there may have been some retail staff who may have misinformed customers, and for this we would like to apologise.  

"We accept that there were some challenges following the ship's introduction to our fleet in April of this year. The Captain and his crew did their utmost to resolve any concerns our customers may have had at the time.  Any outstanding concerns have been or are being looked at by our customer services team on a case-by-case basis.

Have you been on Thomson Dream recently? Was Watchdog fair. Let me know what you think.

Southampton is set to become the home of ultra-luxury cruising in 2011 - well for a few days next year anyway.

Yachts of Seabourn proudly proclaims it will be the first ultra-lux line to offer no-fly cruises from the UK port next year.

Seabourn Sojourn, christened in Greenwich last June, will sail into the UK from Rome on April 27, on the last leg of its maiden world cruise, and immediately sets off again on an 18-day Mediterranean Sojourn, to be followed by a 10-day Baltic Sojourn from May 15-25.

Regent Seven Seas Cruises, meanwhile, is testing the no-fly waters for the first time with a 10-night round-Britain cruise from Southampton on Seven Seas Voyager on August 9.

Silversea is doing something a bit different - cruising around the UK from Southampton on Silver Cloud on June 25 and finishing up at Tower Bridge in London 10 days later.

There's then a 15-day cruise back from Tower Bridge to Southampton on July 5. And another cruise from Tower Bridge to Southampton on August 26.

It's all part of this cruising-from-the-UK bandwagon that started rolling a few years back and has resulted in the number of people taking no-fly cruises almost doubling between 2003 and 2009. CruiseBritain says 448,000 cruise passengers visited a UK port last year, while the number of people joining their cruise ship in the UK increased to 733,000.

With more lines cruising from the UK - Holland America is one with a hugely expanded no-fly programme in 2011 - that number surely will increase in leaps and bounds.

Or will it? There is a lot to be said for avoiding the over-the-top security at UK airports but I've noticed the security at cruise ports - and especially Southampton - is going the same way. Belts off, shoes off, laptops out of bags. So that's one advantage on its way out.

More to the point, there's plenty of folk who prefer a flight to the Mediterranean sun instead of two or three days slogging across the Bay of Biscay when it's in one of its moods.

Have you ever cruised from the UK? What was your experience? Why not share your thoughts.

MSC Cruises is moving in on the Arabian Gulf route opened in winter 2006/07 by arch-rival Costa Cruises.

Like them, MSC will be offering seven-night cruises around the region from Dubai. However, unlike Costa, they will also be allowing passengers to embark/disembark in Abu Dhabi.

The first cruise departs Dubai on October 28 2011 and calls at Muscat in Oman, Abu Dhabi, where the ship stays overnight, Fujairah and Bahrain.

The Arabian Gulf is definitely the hot new spot to be for cruise lines. Royal Caribbean International launched seven-night cruises from Dubai on the 2,500-passenger Brilliance of the Seas in January and they will be back for winter 2010-11.

For this winter, Royal Caribbean is dropping Bahrain (no great surprise as it really wasn't a great success when I was there) and instead staying overnight in Oman. They are also adding a few 12-night cruises from Dubai to India.

Costa positioned two glitzy big new ships in the Gulf last winter - Costa Deliziosa, which was also named in Dubai, and Costa Luminosa.

However, MSC is going in slowly, slowly with the 2003-built 1,560-passenger MSC Lirica, pictured.

It's a comfortable ship but certainly not flashy.

No cruise line ever wants to commit their newest tonnage to a start-up route - having spent a lot of money on a ship they want to make sure it will be a success - but MSC is going to have to upgrade their offering in following years if they are in for the long-haul and want to compete with Costa.

Remember you read that here first.

Interesting to meet Gareth Hamilton from Gap (it stands for Great Adventure People rather than taking a break before university) Adventures the other day and learn about the company's lifetime deposits.

Basically, if you have to cancel your holiday for whatever reason - they won't even ask why - your deposit will be held for until you are able to book again, be it one year or 10 years.

You don't even have to use the deposit against the same holiday, so if you were booked on a land-based trip before and now fancy an expedition to Antarctica or the Arctic, that's no problem either.

Definitely an industry first.

The company part owns a ship in the Galapagos and also has one ship, Expedition, which explores the polar regions - Antarctica in our winter, the Arctic in summer.

It holds just 120 passengers in all outside, all en-suite cabins, pictured here.

I went to Antarctica at the beginning of February a few years back and had a great time, but now they tell me that's wasn't the best time to go.

Instead you should aim for November, when the pack ice is still intact and the penguins are courting, or late February and March, as that's the best time to see the Orca and Minke whales and the penguin chicks.

It's also a bit cheaper (but don't get too excited because everything is relative). Gap's Classic Antarctica costs from £5,049 per person for a 16 days departing November 4 compared to £5,919 in peak season. And that doesn't include any flights.

I thought the Thomson Dream story would have run its course by now, but no. Now the lawyers have got involved.

Law firm Irwin Mitchell, which was contacted by 400 disgruntled passengers in the summer and has been instructed to act for 140, has taken a fresh bite at Thomson in the wake of the Watchdog programme the other week.

Clive Garner, who heads the firm's travel team, says the cruise line should offer "every single passenger who fell victim [to being violently ill] onboard the ship an apology, reassurance that issues have been addressed and fair financial compensation for the suffering caused".

In a statement, the firm says many of Thomson Dream's passengers were confined to their cabins during the cruise due to illness, ranging from stomach cramps to sickness and food poisoning.

Not at all nice if you're the one who's ill, but sounds to me like most of them came down with the so-called cruise ship bug, norovirus, which strikes at random and spreads like wildfire on cruise ships.

I've heard the dreaded bug blamed on old people, dirty people, dirty ships, children and the crew. If you can believe all of what they are saying about Thomson Dream - and I struggle having been on the ship, admittedly back in April - it's all of these things.

Oh and also the fact the ship is 20 years old, smelt of poo and was involved in a fatal crash in Sharm el Sheikh in February.

Thomson was intending to splash out £5 million when Dream goes into dry dock in November. I know spending money goes against their religion, but might I respectfully suggest they up the ante and knock this problem on the head once and for all.

The Dream will be sailing a brilliant Caribbean itinerary this winter and it would be such a shame if it was marred by whingeing Poms and smelly toilets.

Royal Caribbean International took a lot of stick from passengers when it started charging for steaks in the main dining room a couple of years ago - including from Carnival Cruise Lines' senior cruise director and ace cruise blogger John Heald.

Now it seems Heald going to have to eat his words (but maybe do without his steaks) because Carnival has started charging for top-cut steaks and lobster in the dining room on Carnival Triumph, Carnival Paradise and Carnival Inspiration.

Specifically you'll have to pay $18 for a 9oz filet mignon, an 18oz grilled prime rib chop, a broiled Maine lobster tail and a surf-and-turf combo (a half lobster tail and petite filet mignon).

The excuse is that these three ships don't have speciality steakhouses so Carnival is giving them the option to pay for a decent steak in the dining room.

The lesser-quality steaks on the always-available menu will still be there and still be free for those who don't want to pay, but if the responses on USA Today's Cruise Log are anything to go by, charging for food in the dining room is still the beginning of the end of the world as we know it.

This from TX_Dave

"Extra charges in a special dining venue is one thing, extra charges in the main dining room are another. I don't like it."

And this from missdew

"These cruise lines just keep giving me more reasons not to cruise."

It does go against the grain of all food is free in the dining room I know but personally I can't get too excited about it because:

a) you have a choice. If you don't want to pay, don't have the steak;

b) to me, the point of paying extra to dine in a steakhouse - or any other speciality restaurant for that mattter - is to have the more intimate surroundings, better service, with time to digest food between courses, and food that's cooked to order just as you want and served hot, something few cruise lines manage when serving several hundred people at once in the dining rooms.

Would you pay for a steak in the dining room or is this the start of the slippery slope? Let me know.

I'm struggling to see the point of this. A five-day non-stop circumnavigation of mainland Britain on Saga Pearl II from Dover so you never get the chance to go ashore.

You sail past the Giant's Causeway in Ireland, see the Scottish coast from the deck of the ship and they'll point out see where Tintagel is.

To me cruising is all about visiting lots of different places/countries/cultures so this seems like purgatory.

Five days sailing around the UK and seeing, well, the sea. It's not even as if it's a pretty blue like in the Caribbean. In fact, given it departs at the end of August, during the British summer, there's a good chance it will be raining or blowing a gale.

If Saga needs to fill five days, I'd suggest a cruise to the Channel Islands - a couple of days in Guernsey and Jersey, with a few hours on Alderney or Sark. That actually sounds rather nice.

Funnily enough, when Royal Caribbean International's giant Oasis of the Seas launched last year I asked if they would consider sailing seven-night cruises to nowhere as it struck me there was lots to do on the ship and it would save the hassle of queuing to get off and on.

The answer was a definite no.

Have to admit I never thought Saga would do it instead.

What do you think? Will you be rushing to buy this five-night cruise to nowhere?

Saturday Night Fever, the 1970's film that catapulted John Travolta to fame, is to be performed on Royal Caribbean International's Liberty of the Seas starting in April 2011.

It's the third "real" musical Royal has got a license for and shows the cruise line is getting far more adventurous.

It started with the oh-so dull Hairspray on Oasis of the Seas last year, will have the more challenging Chicago on Allure of the Seas when that launches next month - I'm going on a three-day inaugural on the ship in November and that, and the Brazilian steakhouse, are on my list of to-do's.

And now it's disco-mania time. Someone will have his work cut out trying to emulate Travolta in those dance scenes that are guaranteed to send you back in time to an era of glitter and platform shoes.

Liberty will be cruising from Barcelona next summer, up against Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Epic, which must explain why it has been selected to stage Saturday Night Fever.

Royal needs something big to pitch against Epic's Blue Man Group and Cirque dinner show, and the tired shows by the ship's singers and dancers, no matter how they are dressed up to be cool and trendy, just won't pass muster.

During a January dry-dock, Liberty will also be getting the DreamWorks treatment, with parades and character breakfasts (Epic has Nickelodeon), 3D movie technology in the theatre and a video screen by the main pool.

They'll be putting iPod docks in every cabin, which is a first and something you normally only see on the ultra-lux lines, and adding a few features that have worked well on Oasis including touch-screen technology to help passengers get around the ship and see the day's schedule of events (I saw this on Oasis and it was brilliant).

There's also a Royal Babies and Tots Nursery for little ones up to 36 months, a Cupcake Cupboard selling ... well I'll let you guess... and Vintages, which serves wine by the glass.

The self-service on Celebrity Cruises' Century and Millennium-class ships is becoming a, well, self-service, from the end of October.

Have to say I'm amazed to discover that currently there is only waiter service in the lido on these ships - that's the Celebrity Century, Constellation, Infinity, Millennium and Summit - and no option to pick and choose what you fancy from the buffet.

Celebrity is calling the new lido dining an "international marketplace", but basically you get a plate, fill it with food, find a table and eat it. That's self-service to you and me.

I'm sure some passengers will complain at having to fetch their own food but I reckon they'll find the new offering will be much better.

There are curry and pasta stations where the food is made to order so it'll be served hot and you can ask for the chefs to spice it up a bit.

There's stir-fry Asian food, a Mediterranean antipasti selection of olives, cheeses and cold meats, a carving station with grilled meats and of course an area serving uber-sweet desserts.

A made-to-order pizza station will be open until 12.30am.

This is something for all those who fear getting they might be seasick on a cruise - a night out on Cruise and Maritime Voyages' ship Marco Polo while it's tied up at Tilbury cruise terminal.

That's the place Marco Polo calls home and this is a great opportunity to get on board and see what low-cost British-style traditional cruising is all about.

There are three options, all available on Saturday October 30.

1. Look around the ship, see one of the shows and have a five-course lunch with wine for £29pp.

2. Go on board for evening cocktails, a five-course dinner with wine and a show, leaving at midnight, for £49pp.

3. Go for the evening event but pay an extra £20pp - so a total £69pp - and stay on board for the night and breakfast the next morning.

Having been to the Tilbury cruise terminal, I can think of many better places to spend the night but no matter. This is a good-value night out - certainly cheaper than any hotel you'll find.

To book your Marco Polo day or evening out, click here or call 0845 833 9798.

And don't forget you can see Cruise and Maritime Voyages - and many other cruise lines - this weekend at the Cruise Show at the NEC Birmingham. The doors open on Saturday and Sunday at 10am.

I'll see you there.

I've never quite understood this new-ish fad for learning to cook on a cruise.

Don't most people go on holiday to escape domestic chores such as cooking? And if not, isn't it because they don't know what a kitchen is because they live on M&S ready meals and other such healthy dishes? So why would they suddenly want to find out?

But understand it or not, cookery is the latest cruise ship must-do.

What's that? No surely it's not just because the cruise lines see a way to make money from it!

There are cooking demos on P&O Cruises and Yachts of Seabourn, P&O has classes that cost when Marco Pierre White is on board and Royal Caribbean International has just started cookery lessons on Liberty of the Seas that cost anything up to $125 per person.

Anton Mosimann is on a cruise on Silversea's Silver Cloud in January. Oceania Cruises, meanwhile, is installing a culinary centre (that's a posh word for kitchen) on new ship Marina, launching in January.

Holland America has always been into these culinary capers as well, and now reports it has signed BBC celebrity chef Valentine Warner to share his cookery skills on a Fjords and Highlands cruise on Eurodam next year. Demos will be free, classes will carry a charge.

Warner made his name on the BBC series What to eat now, all about the best food for autumn. Which naturally led to a what to eat in summer programme. Seems he never made spring and winter so not sure what you do then. Starve? Or go back to those ready meals?

The Eurodam cruise departs Dover on June 3 2011 for a 12-night voyage around Norway and Scotland. Prices from £1,129 per person.

It's time to shed a tear.

Ocean Village, the cruise line that made its name with the slogan "the cruise for people who don't do cruises", has set off on its last voyage.

The ship left Crete last week and is now heading to Singapore, where it will go into the Sembawang Shipyard and emerge 36 days later as Pacific Pearl, flying the colours of P&O Cruises Australia.

Ocean Village was set up in 2003 to provide a low-cost casual alternative to P&O Cruises. Its one ship, also called Ocean Village, was joined by a second, Ocean Village Two, in 2007.

They sailed from Palma and Crete in the summer, and in the Caribbean in winter, and had a strong following among people who wanted a fun-in-the-sun holiday with no dress codes or formal dining rather than spending days sailing over the Bay of Biscay.

But that wasn't enough for the powers that be at Carnival UK, who decided the two ships could make more money for P&O Cruises Down Under.

Ocean Village Two left the fleet this time last year - it now operates as Pacific Jewel - and now the original Ocean Village is on its way out.

And so ends Carnival UK's dalliance with being casual.

An interesting aside: Pulling OV has left a gaping hole for cruises from Palma that Royal Caribbean International has been quick to plug.

It is basing Grandeur of the Seas there next summer, offering seven-night cruises around the Western Med - just as OV did. Carnival UK said they couldn't make any money from the cruises because of the cost of the flights. Be interesting to see if Royal can.

Another interesting aside: Carnival UK might not have been able to make any money from OV's Mediterranean fly-cruises, but that's not stopping P&O Cruises from giving it a go for the first time next year with Adonia, the ship currently sailing as Royal Princess for Royal Princess and which joins P&O next May.

Adonia will reposition to the Mediterranean from Southampton in October 2011 and sail six fly-cruises, departing variously from Savona, Athens, Trieste and Naples.

OK, they are not so much cruises as a low-cost night out in a floating hotel in tantalising Tilbury, but the last one was so popular - it sold out in 48 hours - that CMV has added three more chances for you to go on board Marco Polo and see what its traditional British-style cruising is all about.

Once again there are three options:

1. Go on board for lunch with wine, a look around the cruise ship and to see a sample of a show for £39 per person.

2. Go on board for cocktails, a five-course evening meal with wine, and late-night cabaret, leaving the ship by midnight, for £59 per person.

3. As 2, but stay overnight for £79 per person.

The new dates are November 30, Wednesday December 1, and Thursday December 2.

To book, call 0845 833 9798 or visit the website.

If Celebrity can come up with the word Solsticize to describe the way some features from its acclaimed new Solstice-class ships are being put on its older vessels, I make no apology for using "Cunardifies" to describe changes MSC Cruises is making for its Yacht Club passengers.

These are the folk with deep pockets who pay extra to be in a private suite complex - the Yacht Club - away from the hoi-poloi.

The feature is on MSC Fantasia and MSC Spendida and will be on the new MSC Fantastica, launching in 2012.

From this month, not only can the "Yachties" relax by their own pool, away from the masses, and enjoy free drinks in their private bar, but they are also to be given exclusive access to the ships' speciality restaurants - L'Etoile on MSC Fantasia and L'Olivo on MSC Splendida.

All much the same as the way Princess Grills and Queens Grills passengers on Cunard's ships get their own exclusive eponymous dining rooms.

Where Cunard operates a bizarre hybrid system whereby Grills passengers are allocated a table for the duration of their cruise but can eat when they want, MSC Yacht Club passengers will enjoy open seating, dining when and with whom they want.

It's an interesting move, great for the Yacht Club folk but dramatically cutting down choice for the rest of the passengers.

And this in a day and age when cruise lines are trying to add more speciality restaurants, not only to give passengers more choice but also because they have a cover charge so are nice little earners.

At a recent travel agents' Cruise Forum in Malta, Nigel Lingard, marketing director of Fred Olsen, the cruise line that does more for Zimmer frames than any other company, said they are "being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century".

Then he was talking about ticket wallets. He might just as easily have been talking about the latest Fred news - that they have put wi-fi on their ships.

It's now on Black Watch, Braemar and Balmoral in limited hot spots and will be available on Boudicca from January 2011 - presumably it's being added when the ship goes for a refit early in the new year.

They are moving the gym to deck 10 and putting 17 new inside cabins where the fitness centre is. They are also replacing the last open lifeboats.

In another internet first for Fred, you can now buy packages instead of paying by the minute, as has always been the case.

I think it's great. There's nothing worse than trying to post words of wisdom on my blog from the fixed computer terminals while seeing a clock tick up the pounds in the corner of the screen. And that's when the internet deigns to work. I have it on good authority that the wi-fi is much better.

I admit I am a less excited to read that those everyday farming folk from Radio 4 will be taking to the high seas on a couple of Fred cruises next year.

It's nothing personal.

Well actually it is. Not only do I share a surname with the programme, but my mother was called Peggy Archer. You try growing up with that lot!

On next year's Archers-themed cruises, cast members will be on board to chat with passengers and perform a mock show.

One is a 10-night voyages on Balmoral on April 23, sailing from Southampton to the Mediterranean, priced from £1,014 per person.

The other is on Black Watch, 13 nights sailing from Dover to Lisbon and back on September 12, from £1,392 per person.

Which favourite TV or radio characters would you like to meet on a cruise? Post your thoughts below.

Carnival Splendor is being tugged back to San Diego in California after being adrift without power off Mexico since Monday.

The Carnival Cruise Lines' ship, which was launched by Myleene Klass in a gala ceremony in Dover in 2008, was less than 24 hours into a Mexican Riviera cruise from Long Beach with 4,400 passengers and crew on board when a fire in the engine room cut all power.

No one was hurt, but the stricken vessel was cast adrift in the Pacific with no air conditioning or hot water, and no mobile phone or internet service. All these services are still out but Carnival said toilets are now operating in most cabins and some children activities and entertainment is being provided.

As the old adage goes, the show must go on.

As they are short of food - presumably there is plenty on board but it can't be properly refrigerated or cooked if there is no power - the US Navy and Mexican Navy have reportedly been dropping supplies of canned crab meat and spam by helicoptor.

Not quite what you expect to eat on a cruise, but it's better than nothing.

Plan A was to have the ship towed to the Mexican city of Ensenada, but they have now switched to Plan B and are having it tugged to San Diego, from where passengers can fly home. It's due to arrive late Thursday.

Only one tug has reached the ship so far but Carnival said more are on the way. They also said if progress is too slow, they'll revert to plan A and go to Ensenada after all.

Passengers on the stricken vessel are to receive a full refund, their flight costs home and a free future cruise to the value of this one.

The following cruise, due to depart on November 14 has been cancelled. Those passengers will also receive a full refund and their flight costs, plus a 25% discount off a future cruise.

One of the questions I was going to ask Adam Goldstein, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, when I'm on Allure of the Seas in a couple of weeks was whether they would be adding features from the new ship to other vessels in the fleet.

Never mind waiting to be on Allure, I already know the answer.

In a refit next year, Radiance of the Seas is to be made more Alluring, with a new Brazilian steakhouse and Mexican-themed Rita's Cantina, two new dining outlets making their debut on Royal's new big ship.

The ship is also getting a new Italian restaurant, Giovanni's Table, a Park Café deli-style diner, a Chef's Table, which is an exclusive dining experience for a handful of people, and a nursery for babes and toddlers.

All these things debuted on Oasis of the Seas when it launched last year.

There's no indication where the new Italian and churrascuria dining outlets will be but my guess is they are replacing the ship's Chops Grill and Portofino speciality restaurants. Not sure where they could put the Mexican though - maybe in a section of the Windjammer self-service.

With no new ships on the order books, Royal is clearly turning its attention to upgrading existing tonnage.

* The cabins on Radiance of the Seas are also to be with fitted flat-screen TVs in all cabins (have to say I am surprised they are not already), there'll be a new Diamond Lounge for Crown and Anchor loyalty members and wi-fi throughout the ship.

* Splendour of the Seas is to get two new speciality restaurants (presumably the churrascuria and Giovanni's Table), the babes and toddlers nursery, flat-screen TVs in the cabins, the Diamond Lounge and wi-fi throughout the ship. They will also be adding more balcony cabins and refreshing the Windjammer self-service.

* On Oasis of the Seas, the Mondo Café in the Royal Promenade is to make way for a Starbucks, which makes debuting at sea on Allure of the Seas.

On sea as on land, the coffee giant is taking over!

If you've not been lucky enough to secure a berth on Balmoral's sold-out Titanic Memorial cruise, fear not, because more "in memory" holidays are emerging from the woodwork to mark the 100th anniversary of the fateful day in 1912 that the "unsinkable" ship hit an iceberg and sank.

Saga Cruises has a 10-night Titanic Remembered voyage from Southampton up the east coast of the UK on Saga Pearl II departing April 12 2012.

It includes calls at Belfast, where the ill-fated ship was built, Cherbourg, where the Titanic picked up extra passengers, and Cobh, then called Queenstown, the last port visited before Titanic headed off across the Atlantic bound for New York.

They'll be serving meals based on the Titanic's first-class dining menu, have on-board talks about the ship and a memorial service, presumably in the early hours of April 15 1912 to mark the moment the ship went down.

UK holiday firm Superbreak is getting in on the sinking ship act with two-night Titanic-themed short breaks in Belfast, priced from £183 per person.

You'll visit the home of Thomas Andrews, who designed the ship, the Harland & Wolff Drawing Office where Titanic's plans were drawn, and the Titanic & Olympic's Slipways.

Superbreak also has a one-night break in London priced from £56.50 per person that includes entrance to the new Titanic Exhibition at the O2 that runs until May 1 2011.

You'll be able to touch an iceberg to see how cold it was on that fateful night (but honestly you could just put your hand in a fridge to find out). You'll also get a White Star boarding pass with a real passenger's name and at the end can check if you live or die.

How cheery.

Just days after a hefty tome entitled France/Norway by John Maxtone-Graham appeared in the post (I'm not sure who sent it, but whoever it was, and in case they are reading this, thank you) I see the man himself is to be guest lecturer on several Princess cruises next year.

Maxtone-Graham, for those not in the know, is a cruise ship historian and popular guest lecturer so if you're on one of the voyages where he's speaking and you want to hear him, get there early as it'll be standing room only.

He'll be on the following sailings:

* January 26-March 9 - three 14-night Cape Horn Route cruises on Star Princess between Santiago and Rio de Janeiro.
 
* March 9-24 - 15-day Brazilian Adventure on Star Princess sailing from Rio de Janeiro to Fort Lauderdale.
 
* May 7-22 - 15-day transatlantic crossing on Crown Princess from Fort Lauderdale to Southampton.
 
* July 2-20 - 18-day Land of the Midnight Sun cruise on Ocean Princess sailing roundtrip from Dover to the northern coast of Norway and Russia.
 
* July 20-August 7 - 18-day Top of the World cruise on Ocean Princess sailing from Dover to New York.
 
* August 7-25 -- 18-day Fire and Ice Explorer cruise on Ocean Princess from New York to Dover by way of the place where the Titanic sank.
 
* October 19-November 6 - 18-day transatlantic crossing on Ruby Princess from Venice to Fort Lauderdale.

Phew. Ever get the feeling you are in the wrong job?

Celebrity Infinity, the next Celebrity Cruises' ship due to be Solsticized, is to get even more features from the much-admired Solstice-class ships than originally planned.

The standard Solsticization includes upgraded furniture and furnishings in the cabins and suites, and modern new colours and furnishings in the public areas.

It also includes adding a Tuscan Grille steakhouse, a creperie, an ice-topped Martini Bar, a café and Gelateria, and wine bar with serve-yourself-by-the-glass machines.

But they are going beyond that with Celebrity Infinity, the second Millennium-class ship to be Solsticized.

The ship is also to get AquaClass spa cabins and suites, which come with extra amenities including more lotions and potions in the bathroom, a Mediterranean-themed Blu dining room for exclusive use by AquaClass passengers and an iLounge where passengers can play with - and buy - Apple computers and gadgets.

They are adding new balconies to the Celebrity Suites and finding space for more inside and oceanview cabins.

Infinity goes into dry-dock for its the upgrade at the end of next year - bookings for the new-look ship open next week, on Monday November 22.

Then it'll be the turn of Celebrity Summit and Celebrity Millennium to be updated, in January and April 2012 respectively. And they will also get the additional new features.

Poor old Celebrity Constellation, the fourth Millennium-class sister, was Solsticized this year, but only got the standard upgrade.

Will it now go back and have the upgraded upgrade? I'll let you know when I find out.

If I remember the official history correctly, Ocean Village couldn't make flycruising in the Mediterranean pay because of the cost of the flight so Carnival UK packed the two OV ships off Down Under to make more money with P&O Cruises Australia.

So now P&O Cruises, part of Carnival UK, is offering free flights to passengers who book one of the line's debut 2011 Med flycruises on Adonia this month.

Make sense of that.

No doubt P&O's hand has been forced by Royal Caribbean International, which is giving away 10,000 flights on its Mediterranean flycruises.

But in case you think the contagion will spread to all the cruise lines, I have bad news. The folk from Carnival Cruise Lines, who I met on Monday, said they have no plans to give away flights on their Med cruises.

Carnival's new 3,690-passenger Carnival Magic will be sailing from Barcelona next summer, marking the line's return to the Med after a two-year absence.

Adonia's move to P&O in May 2011 is yet another reincarnation for the ship, which started life as R8 for Renaissance Cruises, became Minerva II for Swan Hellenic and is currently Princess Cruises' Royal Princess.

It replaces Artemis, which coincidentally also sailed for Princess Cruises as Royal Princess, even taking the Artemis vessel's P&O mantle of adult-only ship.

In that, Adonia joins Arcadia, which has been adult-only since its launch, and, from November 30 2011, Oriana, which will be designated no-kids from that date.

P&O says it's because Adonia (710 passengers) is smaller than Artemis (1,196 passengers), so they need extra adult-only capacity. Families booked on Oriana after November 2011 can pick an alternative cruises or have their money back.

After a week of rumours, Saga has confirmed what everyone already knew. They have bought Bleu de France from Croisieres de France - or more correctly from Royal Caribbean Cruises, which owns CDF.

Susan Hooper, chief executive of Saga - clearly relieved that she could finally talk about the new ship - told me her former boss, Richard Fain, RCC's chairman, called to thank her once the i's were dotted and the t's were crossed.

No wonder. RCC says the sale generated additional liquidity of $55 million (£35 million). OK, a drop in the ocean when you consider how much they have just spent building Allure of the Seas, but every little helps, as Tesco would say.

Until next November, Bleu de France will be chartered to CDF. It will then go for a complete refit before it starts sailing in its new colours in March 2012.

In an interesting aside, Mark Tre at Cyber Cruises writes that Saga originally wanted to buy this ship a decade ago, when it belonged to Hapag Lloyd and was called Europa. However, Hapag Lloyd didn't want to risk losing passengers to Saga so they sold the ship to Malaysia-based Star Cruises instead.

Bet they're not very happy Saga has finally go their ship, but it just shows, everything comes to those who wait.

But back to Bleu de Saga.

Hooper tells me the casino and kids' club will go as, strangely, neither appeals to Saga Cruises' over-50's passengers, and they are cutting capacity from the maximum 1,158 passengers now to 700.

Deciding to do all that is the easy bit. The more difficult decision is a) what to call the vessel and b) what offer in terms of on-board product. In particular, do they offer fixed dining as on Saga Ruby or open seating as on Saga Pearl II?

Saga's older cruisers might prefer the former but they are a dying breed - in more ways than one. So while they need to keep past passengers happy, the cruise line also needs to persuade folk in their 50s who, we are told are the new 40s, to bury their prejudices and try Saga.

But apart from the few 50s I know who are the new 60s, they mostly favour the more flexible arrangements.

The dilemma doesn't end there. Suppose they opt for fixed dining on Bleu de Saga (probably not the name they'll go for!), do they then position Saga Pearl II, now in a minority, as a young person's Saga. Saga Lite maybe?

Still somewhere on the drawing board, Hooper tells me, is plan A for Astoria, as Saga Pearl II was called before being snapped up by Saga - namely that it joins Spirit of Adventure as Quest for Adventure.

With the open seating and younger décor, the ship would feel right at home.

Royal Caribbean has discovered more people will book a Mediterranean cruise if they get a free flight into the bargain.

So they have decided to give away even more flights, adding another 2,000, worth £500,000, to the 10,000 already on offer. To qualify for the free flights, cruises must be booked and confirmed on the same day by December 20 2010.

I admit I am struggling with the logic a little. If there is such huge demand for these cruises, why give away the flights and wreck your profts? If, on the other hand, Royal can only drum up business by giving away flights, was it such a good idea to decide to have a record 11 ships in the Med next summer?

Flights are being given away on selected cruises on sister ships Navigator, Adventure and Voyager of the Seas, sailing from Civitavecchia, the port for Rome, Malaga and Venice respectively, as well as Grandeur of the Seas, which has seven-night debut cruises from Palma de Mallorca.

P&O Cruises has already launched its own selected free flights offer for its debut flycruises next autumn on Adonia.

Will they now up the ante as well? Or maybe other cruise lines will read that it has done wonders for Royal Caribbean's sales and join the giveaway.

Carnival Cruise Lines have said they won't but want my advice? Watch this space.

I said Cunard, with its Royal links, should be the first to announce it will be showing the Royal Wedding at sea and I'm delighted to say they have taken my advice.

Cunard will be showing Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot on April 29 2011, on big screens in the theatres on Queen Mary 2, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria.

And if there's not enough space in the theatre on Queen Mary 2, which will be somewhere between New York and Southampton at the time, it will also be screened in the Planetarium and the lecture room, Illuminations.

Dinner that evening on all the ships will feature a commemorative menu and champagne toast (but they have neglected to mention if they are providing the bubbly free of charge).

So that's one cruise line down. Who will be the next? My money is still on Royal Caribbean International, although I reckon it'll be a close run thing with oh-so British P&O Cruises.

Or at least it should be.

I predicted it would be a race between P&O Cruises and Royal Caribbean International as to which cruise line would be next to announce they will screen that wedding.

It seems P&O Cruises has won (maybe because Royal has other things on its mind right now, like the inaugural celebrations of its new behemoth Allure of the Seas).

The Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton, on April 29 next year, will be screened on all P&O's ships, even Ventura, which will be in Southampton for a turnaround. There'll be a special Royal sailaway party, with flag waving and champagne.

Much the same as ever then, except maybe P&O will pay for the bubbly.

On Aurora, which will be in the Atlantic, en route to Madeira, one couple will be vying for attention as they are married by the ship's captain. Talk about unlucky on their choice of date. Hopefully their friends and family are not staunch royalists.

Here's where the other ships will be:

Arcadia: ending a transit of the Panama Canal and heading towards Puntarenas, Costa Rica.

Azura: In Palma de Mallorca.

Oceana: En route to Southampton from Gibraltar.
 
Oriana: In Palma de Mallorca.

Adam Goldstein, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, has given me a strong hint that DreamWorks' characters will be featuring on Independence of the Seas, the Royal ship that sails year-round from Southampton.

Eventually.

Shrek, Princess Fiona and friends are debuting on Allure of the Seas right now through a tie-up between Royal Caribbean and DreamWorks, and they will be on Oasis of the Seas and Indie's sisters Freedom of the Seas and Liberty of the Seas from early next year.

Liberty is also getting the musical Saturday Night Fever, starting in April, iPod docks in the cabins, a Cupcake Cupboard  and a nursery for babies and toddlers. Freedom is getting the nursery. Both are getting touch-screen screens, first seen on Oasis of the Seas, that help passengers find their way around the ships.

And what is Independence getting? Nada.

Goldstein tells me it's partly because they are concentrating on making sure Indie's year-round cruises from Southampton, starting this winter, are a success, but also because the ship is only two and a half years old and not due to go into dry dock until 2013.

But then he conceeded they don't need a dry dock to add the DreamWorks characters.

"I think DreamWorks will appeal to the British so I would not rule it out. We value the DreamWorks' relationship and are looking where we can take it. I suspect we will make some decisions [about Independence] next year."

I reckon that means DreamWorks for Indie. Remember you read it here first.

Five and a half hours after walking through my front door, returning bleary-eyed after my few days on Allure of the Seas in Florida, I was heading back to Heathrow, this time to fly to Beirut.

I'm staying in a hotel Saturday night and then joining Voyages to Antiquity's one ship, the 378-passenger Aegean Odyssey. Allure holds 6,300. Talk about little and large.

I have a day in Lebanon, where I'll be going to the ancient Phoenician city of Baalbek, and three days in Syria, where I'll be visiting Krak des Chevaliers, the Crusader castle, and the city of Palmyra. Unusually, we stay overnight in Palmyra, returning to the ship the next day.

Aegean Odyssey is an old ship but new to Voyages to Antiquity, which only launched in May this year.

They stripped down the vessel, rebuilt it with less capacity and now offer cruises that are all about discovery and learning, with included excursions and on-board lectures.

Internet willing, I'll be blogging from the ship to explain what exactly that means, and how it works. So don't forget to stay in touch.

The big attraction in Lebanon, apart from Beirut, the capital, which I only caught a glimpse of during my overnight there, is Baalbek, which I visited on my first day on Voyages to Antiquity.

The city was founded originally by the Phoenicians in the 2nd century BC, rebuilt by the Greeks and then again by the Romans. Of course. They were everywhere.

The site, in the Bekaa Valley, is amazing. There are three temples, dedicated to Jupiter, Bacchus and Venus. Tony, our guide, explained that when they moved in, the Romans told the locals that the Roman gods were the same as theirs, just with different names.

So where the Phoenicians had Baal, the Romans had Jupiter, where the Phoenicians had Astarte, the Romans had Venus. It fell down a bit with Bacchus. Tony admitted they never found a Phoenician equivalent of Rome's wine-loving god.

But the really clever thing about being so flexible on the god front was that the locals happily worked for the Romans, helping to build their new temples.

The ones dedicated to Jupiter and Venus are in ruins although there is plenty to see, including these six columns, which have withstood Christians, Mamelukes and earthquakes to remain as they were back in Roman times.

The real stunner is the Temple of Bacchus, top, said to be the best-preserved Roman temple in the world because you can still see parts of the stone ceiling in situ in the portico.

The whole complex took three centuries to build; the Jupiter temple alone took 100 years. "What did the Romans have that we don't," Tony asked. Not slaves, as someone answered, but time. How true. We get annoyed if something takes a couple of years to build.

The place was all the more amazing when you consider they had to move huge pieces of rock by manpower alone. We saw one of the stones, still in the quarry and met Abdul Nabi al-Afi, who has devoted his life since leaving the Lebanese army to stopping the locals using the site as a rubbish dump.

He even set up a garbage collection service to try to stop them dropping their litter on the stone ("they told me I'm a fool," he told a local paper).

Judging by the mess along the sie of the roads, it's like trying to hold back the tide. In Syria the next day, Antoine, our guide constantly told us how fertile the land we were driving through was. Well it was good at growing plastic bags and water bottles, but I didn't see much else.

Back in Lebanon, Tony tried to reassure us as we drove back to the ship with news that they have recently introduced radars to stop drivers speeding. They tried it with policemen first, but found they could be bought off. So two weeks ago they started with hidden cameras.

Problem is, he added, the speed limits in some areas are "illogical" (as in too slow). Sound familiar? And then he reassured us with a joke about a Lebanese man who drove into a wall.

Did I say joke? Having seen the driving, I suspect it could be based on fact.

I have often mentioned the guides, good or otherwise, I have had on ships' excursions, but never the coach drivers.

Let me put that right here, and mention Mohammed, the driver of the orange coach during our overnight stay in Tartous, Syria.

Orange? Voyages to Antiquity allocates passengers to colour groups depending on their cabin location. As I am on deck eight, at the top of the ship - and I'll post my thoughts later about their ship Aegean Odyssey and the Crac, as Antoine, our guide, called it - I am in the orange group.

Mohammed's problems started when we were making the final ascent to the Crusader castle Crac des Chevaliers, only to find the road was closed.

"It's fine, there is another way," Antoine explained. Fine for him, but poor Mohammed had to get the coach through the narrow streets of the village below the castle. Residents had to move cars and at one point he nearly took out one wing mirror.

Clearly the Crusaders did not think things through when they built this castle, one of the country's top tourist attractions, in such an inaccessible place!

But Mohammed did it, only to have to make a near 90-degree turn to get around the back of the castle and park the coach. Probably easy on most roads, but this was on a steep hill and on a road just over a car wide, so he had to inch to and fro.

And all the while passing locals nipped down the sides, with all of a paper-width between their cars and the coach.

The castle visit over, we were driving another 250km to Palmyra. Except the main road was shut in the direction we wanted to go.

No problem. The fearless Mohammed drove us up the slip road, heading towards oncoming cars, so he coulddo a u-turn and get on the road going in the opposite direction to the one we wanted. Potentially we were talking going down a motorway the wrong way. Not at all scary.

But all went according to plan. Sort of. Mohammed came off at the next exit, drove a few metres and then came upon the coach in front doing a three-point turn. That road was shut too.

So we went back to the highway, this time heading in the right direction, took a left, right and drove up a goat track for what seemed miles, until we were able to rejoin the main road.

I do love the driving in Syria. If they want to overtake, they just sound the horn and go, even if there is something coming in the other direction. And then they wonder why there are so many accidents.

The drive to Palmyra was long, almost three ours after all the detours, through the desert-like Syrian plain. On the way Antoine talked endlessly about the politics of Syria and the history of Palmyra. It reminded me of a line from Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie:

He talked for 45 minutes [except it was a lot longer!] and no one understood a word he said.

More on what I did understand later.

I might have given the impression in my last blog that Antoine, my first guide in Syria, was not much good. That is something of an understatement.

He was one of those people who knew his stuff - knew too much for your average passenger to be honest - but didn't have the English to explain it properly.

He would point to columns and explain they used to have statues of "guts" on them. He meant "gods". Of course! Trouble is, by the time you had worked that out, you had missed the next thing he was talking about.

No matter. It was not enough to spoil the two-day excursion from Tartous, first visiting Crac des Chevaliers, then driving to Palmyra, where we stayed overnight. Next day we had a tour of the ruins there, before the three-hour drive back to Aegean Odyssey, the one ship owned by Voyages to Antiquity.

My information on both places is patchy, even though I was trying so hard to follow what Antoine was saying, but the salient point about Crac is that was a Crusader castle, built over a 150-year period on top of a hill (hence Mohammed's trials and tribulations with the coach).

It is a stunning place, especially when you consider there were no cranes, lorries or other mod-cons to move the stones around back in the 11th century.

We saw the kitchens, ovens, dining room, cistern and food stores, the latter with four-metre-wide walls. Antoine said they could store enough food and water to withstand a five-year siege.

But that was never put to the test, although the castle was besieged three times. The last time, in 1271, because the Mamelukes broke through and took over the castle.

Palmyra, the City of Palms, is much older, dating back to the 3rd century BC and built on the crossroads of the caravan roads so it was very prosperous. At one end there was the Baal Temple with what Antoine called a "centuries" (turned out it was the sanctuary or inner sanctum where only priests and kings could enter to make sacrifices).

Below the temple, there was the city - or at least the 10% that has been excavated - with its triumphal arch, baths, magnificent original colonnaded street, below, agora (market) and theatre, where they hold concerts.

We also went inside a tower tomb, which had four floors, each with about 20 slots that in turn each held about seven or eight bodies, and a very ornate underground tomb owned by members of the Three Brothers' Tribe.

Back at the ship, one passenger told me he refused to tip Mohammed after our two-day expedition because he had the nerve to drive while talking on his mobile. Something the Brits never do, of course.

After all his hard work too. It made me embarrassed to be British.

Before leaving for Crac des Chevaliers, I decided to do the half-day tour to Saladin's Castle on day three in Syria, when Aegean Odyssey was moored in Latakia, so I would have time to see the ship in the afternoon.

The alternative was another three-hour drive, this time to Aleppo, with another three hours to get back, which did not greatly appeal. And not just to me. After our Palmyra marathon, quite a few passengers decided against Aleppo and put their name down for Saladin's Castle, just 40km from the port.

It was a brilliant decision. The castle is more of a ruin than Crac, but it was fantastic - peaceful and quiet, as I only saw the 18 passengers who came in our coach, and there was no sign of the hawkers who had driven us mad at Palmyra and Crac.

They were there every time you turned around, selling postcards, garish jewellery and 1950's-style table clothes. It might have been bearable if they were selling something good, but mostly it was stuff they would have to pay me to take away.

Although it's called Saladin's Castle, it was actually another Crusader stronghold, created by blasting the gap out of the rock, above (of course it wasn't a road then). On the right was the village, on the left the castle. The drawbridge went across the top of that pillar, above, 22 metres high, so once it was pulled up the place was impregnable. Or so they thought.

They hadn't reckoned on Saladin. When he attacked, he sent the majority of his troops to the entrance, drawing the knights away from the lower castle, where the rest of Saladin's troops got over the wall and took the fortification. That was in 1182.

It was the end of the Crusaders in Syria and also marks then end of my Aegean Odyssey sojourn in the region. Tonight we cruise to Limassol, Cyprus, from where I am flying home, snow willing.

Some thoughts on the ship will follow.

As I expected, now the launch of Allure of the Seas is out of the way, Royal Caribbean Cruises has turned its attention to matters matrimonial.

It has announced it is to screen the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton on April 29 on all 40 Royal Caribbean International, Celebrity Cruises and Azamara Club Cruises ships.

Royal Caribbean's Independence of the Seas will be in Le Havre, on a three-night mini-cruise from Southampton, and will show the wedding in Studio B, the big Pyramid Lounge and 1,320-seat theatre.

Celebrity Eclipse will be in Southampton, on a turnaround day, so embarking passenger can watch the event in the theatre before setting sail on a four-night cruise to Cork in Ireland.

There'll be champagne and flag waving. Of course. All the cruise lines will be doing that.

But what about my idea of a street party in Indie's Royal Promenade? None of the others can do that.

After years of putting off single people with swingeing supplements, often charging lone passengers double the per person fare to make up for the fact there is only one person in the cabin, cruise lines are finally recognising they'd rather like to have people cruising alone on board.

Who would not want to attract additional passengers when times are tough financially?

Not only have they been reducing their single supplements - MSC Cruises is the latest to follow the trend, cutting from 80% to 50%, which is not ideal but it is a start - but cruise lines are now actually putting single cabins on their ships.

On their modern ships that is. So finally there is also a recognition that not all single people are aged 55-plus and wanting to cruise with the likes of Fred Olsen, Saga and Swan Hellenic.

The singles accommodation trend was started this year by P&O Cruises, which put 18 single cabins on new ship Azura, and taken to Epic proportions by Norwegian Cruise Line, which has 128 Studio cabins on Norwegian Epic, all for single people and all with no supplement.

Kevin Sheehan, NCL's CEO, has already indicated Epic-er and Epic-est, my moniker for the two new ships the cruise line has ordered, will also have studio cabins.

Then, during a seminar on board new ship Allure of the Seas, Adam Goldstein, president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, revealed they want a slice of the singles action.

He said they are looking to put single cabins on older ships such as Radiance of the Seas and Grandeur of the Seas, which are both due for "revitalizing".

There are still plenty of cruise lines that are not singles-friendly but at least it's going in the right direction.

My top 10 of the best cruise lines for people travelling alone has just been published in TW Cruise, a quarterly supplement sent out with trade paper Travel Weekly.

I've posted it in full for you below.

Fred Olsen Cruise Lines
What's on offer: Fred Olsen has 188 single cabins - a mix of inside, ocean view and balcony rooms - across its four ships, with 64 on Balmoral, 40 on Braemar, 42 on Boudicca and 42 on Black Watch. There are singles cocktails parties where soloists can meet others travelling alone. All cruises have gentlemen hosts - and there's one lady host - to dance with the single passengers.
What's the supplement? Single people pay a small premium on the per person price for the equivalent twin-share cabin. If they opt for a twin cabin, there's a 100% supplement.

Norwegian Cruise Line
What's on offer: New ship Norwegian Epic has 128 single Studio cabins. All are inside and measure just 100 square feet, which means there's only room for a bed, shower and toilet, but soloists have private access to a Studio Lounge with TVs and a bar where they can meet other single passengers. There's also a white board where they can leave messages and hook up with others to go ashore.
What's the supplement? There isn't one for the Studios on Norwegian Epic. The single supplement on all NCL's other ships is 100%.

Spirit of Adventure
What's on offer: Their ship, Spirit of Adventure, has 54 single cabins, ranging from insides to junior suites. On-board activities are perfect for singles to join, and include lectures, painting classes and quizzes. Excursions are included in the price so they can go ashore with others without worrying about the budget. Open seating dining in the evening means singles can mingle with ease.
What's the supplement? Up to 50%, but it is waived on selected cruises.

P&O Cruises
What's on offer: New ship Azura, launched in April, has 18 single cabins - six inside and 12 with an oceanview. They have one "oversized" single bed and ensuite facilities. On board there are singles coffee mornings. Arcadia and Artemis (Adonia from May 2011) are designated adult-only ships and are a better bet for anyone travelling alone than the line's family-friendly ships.
What's the supplement? There isn't one on Azura, but passengers pay more for the single cabins than the per person price for a twin-share cabin to reflect the size. On P&O's other ships, single supplements range from 60% to 80%.

Voyages to Antiquity
What's on offer: Aegean Odyssey has 16 single cabins - a mix of insides, outsides and two with balconies. They also offer twin-share cabins to single passengers on selected sailings. On board, there are singles parties if there are enough passengers travelling alone - UK managing director David Yellow said "enough" means 25-30, which is usually how many soloists are on each cruise. Shore excursions are included and there are lectures and open dining.
What's the supplement? 15%, but they waive it on selected cruises. Single passengers who book a twin-share cabins pay a 25%-75% supplement depending on cabin grade.

Swan Hellenic
What's on offer: Minerva, their ship, has nine single cabins, all inside, but its size - it holds around 320 passengers - and their discovery-style cruising, with included excursions, so there's no need to worry about going ashore alone, lectures and singles get-togethers, is well suited to people travelling alone. Some twin cabins might be made available for single passengers.
What's the supplement? 20%-30% more for a single cabin than the per person price for an equivalent twin-share cabin. For single occupancy in a twin cabin the supplement is from 15% to 80%.

Hebridean Island Cruises
What's on offer: Hebridean Princess is small and intimate, which makes it perfect for older lone cruisers. The ship holds just 49 passengers and has 10 single cabins - three inside and seven with an ocean view. At dinner, an officer hosts a table for single passengers. The included excursions and drinks make for a convivial atmosphere ideal for soloists.
What's the supplement? Single cabins cost from about £225 per day more than the twin-share equivalent.

Hurtigruten
What's on offer: Hurtigruten ships don't have single cabins but the cruise line has no single supplements on its winter Norwegian coastal cruises and tactical no supplement offers for its exploration voyages. The latter work well for people on their own as the ship, Fram, is small and cruises off-the-beaten track, which makes for greater camaraderie. Shore excursions are part of the experience, and included in Antarctica, and there are lectures, which work for everyone, on sea days.
What's the supplement? From mid-October to mid-April, for the Northern Lights and coastal cruises, there's no single supplement. Summer supplements start from £236 per person for the coastal voyages.

Costa Cruises
What's on offer: Costa ships don't have single cabins, but it cut its flat-rate 80% single supplement last year to lure more lone travellers on board. There are no specific activities for singles, but there are 4D cinemas and golf and driving simulators they can play around on. Dinner is served on allocated tables in two sittings so hopefully they'll make friends with their table mates.
What's the supplement? From 30%. The earlier the booking, the lower the supplement.

Cruise and Maritime Voyages
What's on offer: The cruise line can be expensive for single passengers but its small ships, no-fly cruises and single cabins are attractive for older people travelling alone who want to cruise from the UK, and their budget prices help to keep fares down anyway. In all Marco Polo has 15 single cabins, while Ocean Countess has 17 cabins for lone travellers.
What's the supplement? Single passengers pay up to double the per person rate for a twin-share cabin.

Ultra-luxury cruise line Seabourn is dropping its "Yachts of" prefix because it reckons it is too confusing.

People think it means the ship must be pretty basic, with OK food and minimal service, the cruise line's Irene Lui tells Seatrade Insider.

I can understand that. Rightly or wrongly, a yacht for most people is a small vessel with a sail or two that hardy seafarer-types go racing around the world in.

However, SeaDream Yacht Club and, until now, Seabourn, use the word to mean a small luxury cruise ship.

In April 2009, I visited the shipyard in Italy where Seabourn Odyssey, the first of three new 32,000-ton vessels the cruise line had ordered, was nearing completion.

I asked Pamela Conover, president and CEO, if a ship that big could really still be termed a yacht. Absolutely, she said. It was all to do with the personal service, the food, the style.

What a difference 20 months makes.

Crystal Cruises (020 7287 9040) is throwing in a free upgrade to British Airways World Traveller Plus if you book an Alaska cruise for May and June next year by January 31 2010

If you book a cruise for July or August, you'll get free economy flights.

Bit of a no-brainer isn't it?

It'll be the first time the cruise line has been back to Alaska since 2005. It is offering 12-night cruises from San Francisco on Crystal Symphony that visit Vancouver, Juneau, Skagway and Glacier Bay, and cruise the "Inside Passage".

Prices start from £3,550 per person including the flights, transfers, soft drinks and water, plus $500 per person on-board credit.

Hot on the heels of my blog about cruising for singles, ultra-budget line Louis Cruises tells me there are no single supplements on any of its Med cruises on the 1,790-passenger Louis Majesty this winter if you book by December 31 2010.

Not that you'll break the bank if you have to pay the supplement. Prices start from £329 per person for an eight-night cruise from Genoa (or you can board in Marseilles if you wish), saving the princely sum of £164.50.

You can put that towards the cost of the flight and transfers, which are not included in the price.

Island Escape's planned three-week dry-dock in October has turned into a five-month stay because more work needs to be done to the ship.

Thomson Cruises, which owns the Island Cruises brand, has not detailed what is being done, but in a statement said the scheduled maintenance work, being carried out in Lisbon, will "take longer to complete" than originally planned.

Island Escape should have been sailing seven-night Canary Island cruises this winter. A spokeswoman said two cruises had to be cancelled at the start of the season but they are now being operated by Thomson Spirit, which was available as it is normally laid up over winter.

Once Island Escape emerges from dry-dock in February, it will take over the Canary Island cruises and Thomson Spirit will relocate to Limassol in Cyprus, for a series of seven-night Pharaohs and the Promised Land cruises visiting Alanya in Turkey, Alexandria and Port Said in Egypt and Ashdod and Haifa in Israel.

These run through March and April 2011, with prices from £799 per person including flights and transfers.

The winter 2011/12 Canary Island cruises will be on Thomson Destiny, which is staying in Europe instead of moving to the Caribbean, and Island Escape will be sailing two new cruises from Limassol, visiting Israel, Egypt and Turkey.

The cruises - Escape to the East and Sun and Sights - will run on alternate weeks in November and December 2011 only with prices from £649 per person including flights and transfers.

Between January and April 2012, the ship will be laid up, before resuming seven-night Western Mediterranean sailings from Palma.

Noble Caledonia has sent me news of an additional cruise to Antarctica it is selling for next year.

Roughly the same time as footage of Clelia II battlilng over the Drake Passage reached me. It reminded me of when I rocked and rolled to the White Continent on Discovery, owned by Voyages of Discovery, a few years ago.

Noble Caledonia's 22-night voyage, from November 11-December 3 2011, is on German cruise line Hapag-Lloyd's 160-passenger expedition ship Bremen, and is designated "international", which means programmes, menus, lectures and expeditions ashore are guaranteed to be in English as well as German.

You'll visit the Falkland Islands and South Georgia before reaching the Antarctic Peninsula.

Prices start from £6,995 per person including flights, two nights' bed and breakfast in Buenos Aires, 18 nights crusing on Bremen and all gratuities. There is no single supplement for category 5 cabins.

And now, just when I've whetted your appetite for Antactica, here is poor old Clelia II, soon to be Orion II for Aussie exploration line Orion Expedition Cruises, pitching about in 100mph winds and waves of up to 40 feet high.

The report says waves broke a window, causing electrical problems that knocked out the ship's communications channel.

I believe the other ship you see is National Geographic Explorer, owned by Lindblad, which was in the area and able to provide some communication equipment after the storm had eased.

Before you look, I have to tell you that although the cruise I did to Antarctica was awful - not quite as bad as this but I endured 36 hours of being tossed about like a cork - it was so worth it. And the Passage was like a mill pond on the way home. So it can behave itself.

While cruise lines including Cunard and P&O Cruises are showing the Royal Wedding from the comfort of their ships, the poor passengers booked to sail with Cruise and Maritime Voyages on April 29 will have to put up with watching it on big screens in the salubrious surroundings of the departure terminals at Hull and Tilbury.

That will have the people queuing up to go on the two cruises they have departing that day.

Given CMV has smallish ships - Marco Polo sailing from Tilbury, Ocean Countess from Hull, each with room for about 800 passengers - you'd think they would pull out all the stops and get people on early to watch Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot at Westminster Abbey on a big screen in one of the lounges.

But I guess that'll cost money. So instead, the best they are offering are "advanced" plans for Royal Banquet.

What do you reckon - a finger buffet with fizzy wine?

The headlines are full of news about the nightmare passengers endured on Brilliance of the Seas off Alexandria last weekend.

So what better moment for Norwegian Cruise Line to announce it is keeping two ships in the Mediterranean year-round in winter 2012/13.

Because after what Royal Caribbean has termed "a serious incident" on Brilliance, we'll all be flocking to cruise in the Med in winter!

Bad weather can strike anywhere of course - the Drake Passage is notorious and everyone goes over the Bay of Biscay braced for the worst - but off Egypt? Seems even the captain of Brilliance was caught unawares by that one.

So now the cruise line is giving passengers a full refund for their cruise. An extraordinary precedent that other cruise lines are not happy about.

NCL's decision to put a second ship in the Med is part of the biggest European deployment in the company's history - four ships in summer, two in winter.

* Norwegian Epic is back for a second summer season sailing seven-night cruises from Barcelona between April 29 and October 14 2012. There will also be a four-day cruise departing on April 25 2012.

* Norwegian Spirit makes its European debut, sailing 12-day voyages between Barcelona and Venice through the summer and from Barcelona to the Canary Islands between November 2012 and April 2013.

* Norwegian Jade will be based in Venice, offering alternating seven-day cruises to the Greek Isles and to Greece and Turkey, each with different ports of call so these can be combined into a 14-night voyage. Between October 2012 and April 2013, Norwegian Jade will be based at Civitavecchia, the port for Rome, sailing 10 and 11-night cruises to Egypt, Israel, Greece and Turkey.

* Norwegian Sun will be based in Copenhagen for a summer series of nine-day Baltic Capitals cruises. It will also be offering one 14-night cruise to Iceland, the Norwegian fjords and Faroe Islands on September 16 2012.

Would you choose to cruise in the Mediterranean in winter? Share your thoughts below.

Five officers serving on Holland America Line's Veendam paid tribute to comrades who died during the Falklands War between Britain and Argentina when the ship visited the island last month.

Captain Peter Harris, chief engineer Thomas Mahon, S.E.H. Officer Derek Williams, culinary operations manager Craig Oakes and facility manager David Hay served on ships in the Royal and Merchant Navy during the war.

A service was held at the war memorial in Stanley, erected to honour those who perished during the war, and a Remembrance Day service was also held onboard the ship. Funds collected from the Poppy campaign were donated to the Stanley Branch Legion.

Why would you go on a cruise to Alaska?

a) To be slimed during a Nickelodeon game show on Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Jewel, which is making its Alaska debut in summer 2012?

b) To listen to author, lecturer and naturalist Terry Breen talk about the 49th state on a cruise next summer as Oceania Cruises makes its Alaska debut with the 684-passenger Regatta as you marvel at the wildlife, soaring landscapes, glaciers and untamed wilderness.

Put it another way, why would you spend a fortune taking the kids to Alaska just so they can get covered in green slime?

OK, I'm being a bit facetious, but I am intrigued to know how many people choose a particular cruise because of the on-board lecturers.

I can imagine quite a few being keen to join star of screen and bush David Bellamy, who is lecturing on a Star Flyer cruise from Costa Rica in December 2011.

And clearly Fred Olsen thinks the on-board offering can make a difference as it has just relaunched its ArtsClub, which features lectures and excursions on special-interest topics such as painting, antiques, wine-tasting, history and music.

The relaunched version promises more lectures and linked excursions. There will be a new website - the old one is here - and brochure, all planned to launch in March.

Do you choose a cruise because of the on-board lecturers or special-interest activities? Tell us what you think below.

Starting April 2011, St Peter Line will be operating a twice-weekly ferry between Stockholm and St Petersburg.

The 25-hour journey will be on the Princess Anastasia, until recently known as Pride of Bilbao, sailing between Portsmouth and Bilbao in Spain for P&O Ferries.

P&O closed the route in September 2010, handed the ferry back to owner Irish Continental Group, which sold it to St Peter Line, a Cypriot company.

It's a happy homecoming for the ship, which was built in Turku, Finland, and once sailed as Olympia between Stockholm and Helsinki for Viking Line.

All very interesting, but what really mostly caught my eye is that passengers arriving in St Petersburg on Princess Anastasia will be able to stay in the city for up to 72 hours without getting a Russian visa.

It's the second such visa-free ferry service - in April 2010, St Peter Line started a visa-free ferry service between Helsinki and St Petersburg.

So why can't the same courtesy be extended to cruise passengers, who are mostly only in the city for 48 hours?

At the moment, if you arrive in St Petersburg on a cruise you either have to go ashore on a ship's tour, which means you are covered by their visa, or jump through hoops to get your own. It's do-able but a pain.

Could it be that none of the cruise lines has asked the Russian authorities if their passengers could get special dispensation where visa are concerned?

After all, it's in their interest to sell as many very highly-priced tours as possible - and they do, with many passengers taking morning, afternoon and evening excursions at £100 or more a time - so why rock the boat (excuse the pun)?

When I was there in May this year on Saga's Saga Pearl II, I had a private car for eight hours - driver and guide - which cost an eye-watering £400.

True, I had an unforgettable and very poignant trip to Tsarskoye Selo, out of the city, to see the Alexander Palace, home of the last tsar Nicholas II and the place where he and his family were imprisoned immediately after his abdication in 1917, and I would have struggled to do that alone.

But left to my own devices I could have taken the metro into the city centre for 22 rubles, which is less than US$1.

Clearly the Russians are also making a fortune out of the tours, but they could do like many other countries and protect any lost income by selling visas on arrival.

And actually I don't think there would be much loss because frankly I can't see many cruise passengers going off alone (the Cyrillic alphabet and a weird fear about Russians would put a lot off). But for those who would love to enjoy this fabulous city alone - me! - it would be fantastic.

Prime Minister Putin, please take note.

....but only if you cruise from the UK!

Cruise lines that offer no-fly cruises from the UK could never have bought the kind of advertising they have had in the past eight months.

Flights grounded by the volcanic ash cloud back in May and now by snow just as everyone wanted to get away for Christmas.

I can almost see the likes of P&O Cruises, Cunard and Cruise and Maritime Voyages rubbing their hands with glee and saying (in hag-like tones because after all, it is the pantomime season) "we told you it was better to cruise from the UK".

I know you still have to battle through snow to get to your departure port, and this weekend roads have been particularly bad, and there is a chance of bad weather on the Bay of Biscay.

But the ports of Dover and Portsmouth kindly informed me this morning that the English Channel hasn't frozen so cruises are departing as planned.

And a couple of days rocking and rolling on the way to the Med, Canary Islands or even the Caribbean has surely got to beat night after cold night camped out on the floor at Heathrow Airport.

The Passenger Shipping Association estimates that 710,000 Brits will take a no-fly cruise in 2011, 55,000 more than in 2010. Given the chaos that now reigns, I suspect there could be even more.

It's a little late to think about a Christmas cruise, but if your holiday plans have just been buried under a snow drift why not cheer yourself up with a New Year no-fly cruise instead.

Iglu (020 8544 6447) tells me they have availability on Royal Caribbean International's Independence of the Seas, cruising from Southampton to the Med on January 8 or 26, and on February 13, with prices from £719 per person for 18 nights.

Iglu also has space on Fred Olsen's Boudicca, sailing from Southampton to the Caribbean, up the Amazon to Manaus and back to the UK. It departs on January 30 and prices start from £2,399 per person for 30 nights.

Cruise Thomas Cook (0800 916 6070) has a 14-night cruise from Southampton to the Canary Islands, also on Boudicca, departing on January 16. Prices from £974 per person for an outside cabin.

I had to smile at this.

Eric Goldring, owner of US-based Goldring Travel, fears Silversea is compromising its all-inclusive product by charging passengers on its newest cruise ship Silver Spirit $18 to rent a soft porn movie.

"I am not so concerned about the type of movie, but the fact that Silversea is charging for it.

"When does finding ways to charge (extra cost dining, extra cost saki, extra cost unrequested charity donations, etc) begin to degrade the product of Silversea?"

He says he does not believe charging for movies - blue or otherwise - is appropriate.

Maybe not, but if he blew his principles (ahem!) I'm guessing he would be smiling too.

Forget the white stuff outside, I'm being snowed under by emails offering so many deals and discounts you'd think it's Christmas.

Here are some of the best.

Bah humbug
Oceania Cruises has kindly sent a Season's Greetings e-Christmas card, but diluted the message by adding a link to a page on their website offering discounts of up to 61% and $1,000 on-board credit. Marketing gone mad, but an offer you can't refuse!

Booze cruise
Thomson Cruises has all-inclusive upgrades for £49 per person on seven-night cruises from Palma on Thomson Dream and Thomson Destiny if you book by January 31 2011. If you book a winter 2011/12 cruise on Thomson Destiny or Thomson Spirit by April 2011 you'll get a free all-inclusive upgrade.

And so to bed
Princess Cruises has free upgrades from an oceanview to a balcony cabin on Grand, Ruby and Star Princess cruises from the UK and in the Mediterranean, on Caribbean Princess in the Caribbean and on Coral Princess in Alaska. Book by January 31.

Spend, spend, spend
P&O Cruises has savings of up to £2,500 per couple, as well as £1,000 on-board spending money, on selected cruises booked before January 31 2011. Shuttle buses, where provided, are now free and P&O is going overboard (sorry!) to tell the world how cheap their booze is.

Bah humbug (again)
Holland America Line is jumping on the ash cloud and airline strikes bandwagon to promote its no-fly cruises from Dover next year. And why not? Perfect time given all this snow chaos. But hey guys. Is free car parking at Dover really the best bit of Xmas cheer you could rustle up? Scrooge would be proud of you. It's not even available if you only book an inside cabin.

Love is in the air
Full marks to Norwegian Cruise Line for thinking outside the stocking and coming up with an Epic Valentine's Day deal - seven nights on Norwegian Epic in the Caribbean from £1,079 per person including flights. The ship will be decorated with heart-shaped ice sculptures, there'll be a special Valentine's menu in the Le Bistro and they promise I can dance the night away to a selection on love songs.

Sounds great. Now all I need is someone to go with.

It's been three whirlwind weeks since I got back from my cruise on Voyages to Antiquity's 378-passenger Aegean Odyssey.

During the cruise I posted blogs about our calls at Syria and Lebanon, which were fabulous despite the poor guide in Syria, so it's well past time to give you a few thoughts about the ship.

I had a lovely spacious cabin with a walk-in wardrobe and big bathroom - bath, shower and, amazingly, a toilet that flushed rather than vacuumed - and a generous supply of quality shampoos, conditioners, lotions and shower gel.

The bed was comfy, there was a small balcony and Cidi, my room steward, was charming, but the room was very spartan, as indeed is much of the rest of the ship (the pic to the right is the reception).

There were no pictures on the wall, very little furniture but one morning, while lying in bed, I did spot a TV on the wall opposite.

I say "spot" because it was so small relative to the size of the room and the distance from the bed, I hadn't noticed it before. And other than on the bed, there was nowhere to sit and watch it, which rendered it rather useless. It was anyway; apparently none of the TVs were getting a signal.

Mine was the last cruise of the 2010 season - the key thing that sets VtoA apart from the competition is that they cruise in the Eastern Mediterranean only and are sensible enough not to try cruising there in winter.

That means a) there is no chance of hitting bad weather and b) they have time to put the ship in dry-dock so any problems can be ironed out.

As a priority, they need to get the smoke stack sorted. Ever since they launched in May 2010, passengers have been complaining about soot falling from the stack, but they have been unable to get the problem fixed.

Just look at this picture of Aegean Odyssey arriving into Beirut, belching smoke and with a blackened stack. No wonder a lot of the loungers on the top deck were spotted with soot. Just unfortunate they chose white seat covers!

VtoA also desperately needs to install wi-fi. I am told they are putting it in during the dry-dock, but seriously wonder why it wasn't installed during the initial major refit given the type of people they want to attract.

Namely highly-educated folk aged 55-plus who travel with laptops and want to keep in touch on-line.

If I'd had £1 for every passenger who came up to me in the hotel we stayed in overnight in Palmyra who wished they had also brought their laptop when they saw I was on-line on mine, I could have covered the cost of my air fare.

Well maybe not, but you get the idea.

There is an internet café on the ship, and the satellite signal was excellent, but its six terminals were in constant use. I do hope they can do something about the deafening air-conditioning in there.

But more importantly they need to address the poor food and sloppy service, which was commented on by many passengers I spoke to, both Brits and Americans, some hardened cruisers, others trying a holiday at sea for the first time.

Service howlers included seating me without a menu, forgetting to take my order, giving me a wine glass but having to be asked again to pour wine in it (free wine with dinner is one of their selling points, but you have to constantly ask for it), having to wait 20 minutes for service in an almost-empty bar.

The good news is that all things that can easily be put right (the smoke stack might not be easy, but I'm sure it can be fixed). A change of catering company, more training for the crew, wi-fi and some decoration on the walls.

The people I spoke to who were disappointed with the ship loved the destinations and shore excursions, and want to cruise again with VtoA because of the interesting places they visit.

I'm with them. I'd certainly cruise with them again for the destinations.

I just hope the powers that be spend the money necessary to make sure that when we do all go back, we can sit outside without getting covered in soot and enjoy a drink that's been served promptly while discussing how fabulous the food and crew are.

P&O Cruises is launching a new TV ad on December  27 with the strap line "discover a different world".

Philip Price, who heads up their brand marketing, says their passengers are "the latest in a long line of explorers who have discovered a different world with P&O Cruises".

Another missive I have received talks of their ships being a "home from home".

When I did a sector of a world cruise a while back I became pally with an ex-journalist, still a good friend, doing the whole circumnavigation. I think he got off the ship twice in 80 days.

Some explorer. He was cruising with P&O so he could be with other people while also being "at home".

The TV campaign is on for four weeks.

Around 100 Brits due to fly out to join Thomson Dream in Jamaica this morning had their New Year's cruise cancelled last night because of air-conditioning problems in 50 cabins.

Thomson Cruises said individual air handling units were damaged during the recent freezing conditions in Hamburg, where the ship was in dry-dock, affecting a limited number of cabins in a specific area of the ship.

You have to feel sorry for Thomson. The ship has been plagued with problems since Thomson Cruises chartered it from Costa Cruises in April.

The dry-dock was supposed to cure all the ailments, including problems with the plumbing and air-con, that led to Dream's cruises turning in nightmares for many passengers earlier this year.

Instead, it has caused more problems.

Christmas hasn't helped. Thomson Cruises said replacements have been ordered, but they've been held up by extended delivery times due to the holidays.

Passengers in the affected cabins should have been joining a two-week cruise from Montego Bay in Jamaica to Bridgetown in Barbados via Havana in Cuba. A pretty neat itinerary.

In its place, they have been offered an alternative cruise, such as Thomson Destiny's one-week cruise from Dominican Republic on January 2, or a full refund and £200 per person as a "goodwill gesture".

Carnival Corp chief Micky Arison speculated during a recent earnings call that this winter's bad weather will have a positive impact on cruise sales, with winter-weary folk rushing to book a holiday in the sun.

Logic says that should also mean fares will start to go up.

But what has logic to do with anything? Cruisers tasted some unbelievable deals during the recession and with no end to talk of austerity measures in sight, I reckon they are going to be hanging on for the best deals.

There are certainly plenty of them around.

Uniworld, the river cruise company, has slashed up to £1,450 of the cost of a nine-night Prague/Rhine/Main cruise-and-stay holiday.

P&O Cruises has 12 nights in the Mediterranean at the end of March, sailing on Ventura from Southampton, from £998 per person - that's just £84 a night.

Holland America Line, which made it into the Bah Humbug list before Xmas for their paltry offer of free parking at Dover, has made amends with a seven-night cruise to Scandinavia on July 24 from just £15 a day.

OK, it's not quite that good. That price is for a third or fourth person sharing a cabin with two adults paying from £789 per person, but it's not to be sniffed at if you're looking for a summer getaway with the family.

The cruise lines might be hoping the cold weather and snow will lead to more bookings and therefore higher fares, as Johanna Jainchill speculates in USA Today's Cruise Log.

They can hope but I suspect it's one New Year's wish that won't come true.

Four people have been kicked off Cunard's Queen Mary 2 after refusing to comply with quarantine regulations following an outbreak of norovirus on the ship.

Cruise Critic says Cunard spokeswoman Jackie Chase confirmed four passengers refused to obey ship protocol and remain in their cabins for 48 hours after consulting with the ship's medical team.

"Therefore, after having explained the situation to them, and in accordance with our booking conditions and with the health and safety of all of our guests uppermost in mind, we had no choice but to ask them to disembark the ship in Curacao."

Unruly passengers are plaging Cunard. In October last year, a wealthy Manhattan couple aged 82 and 91 were confined to their cabins on QM2, without alcohol, until the ship reached New York after a drunken spat with other passengers in the dining room.

Their passengers clearly aren't what they used to be.

The so-called vomiting bug has been whizzing around QM2 since before Christmas, affecting 167 of the 2,483 passengers during its 16-night Caribbean cruise ending January 3.

Cunard says the outbreak is pretty much under control, but one Cruise Critic member on the ship confirms they are still on red alert, with "no drinks menus on the tables and no nibbles given automatically".

Another says his 12-year-old son was confined to his cabin on Xmas Eve, Xmas Day and part of Boxing Day.

It's been a happy Christmas and New Year cruise then.

Made all the more joyous, apparently, by guest speaker John Prescott, who upset passengers during his talk with his "below decks" humour.

Seems that since his talk, Lord and Lady Prescott have not even been seen in the Queen's Grill, reserved for first-class passengers, which apparently he was deemed to be by Cunard.

Were they just too embarrassed to leave their first-class cabin or had they contracted norovirus and been quarantined? Cunard was not saying.

Perhaps they were too embarrassed as well.

A 15-night cruise to Antarctica on Compagnie du Ponant's Le Boreal, pictured, was cancelled at the last minute due to unspecified technical problems.

The 264-passenger ship was on charter to Abercrombie & Kent and would have been sailing full. Instead it will be staying in Ushuaia for repairs to be carried out.

It is understood signs of wear were found by technicians - pretty shoddy considering the ship only launched in May - and the affected parts needed to be replaced.

Ponant said it decided to cancel the cruise to avoid problems arising while in Antarctica.

"If the ship had been sailing in any other part of the world, the parts would have been readily available and the work could easily have been done during its cruise."

A&K is giving passengers on the cancelled Le Boreal cruise a full refund or a credit and 10% discount off a future cruise.

Antarctica is the most remote place on earth, cut off from civilization by the Drake Passage, 1,000km of treacherous sea, so it's not the best place to be if things go wrong.

Last month Clelia II hit a storm on the Drake Passage and its communication equipment was knocked out of action when a wave shattered a bridge window. It's been in Ushuaia for repairs since December 9, missing three sailings, and will finally re-enter service tomorrow.

Most big cruise lines are pulling their Antarctica cruises after this winter due to a new ruling effective August 1 that bans ships using heavy fuel.

The International Maritime Organisation ruling was made on environmental grounds - an accident resulting in heavy fuel spillage was deemed too much of a risk - rather than because of the risk of a bumpy crossing on Drake's.

Princess Cruises, Regent Seven Seas Cruises and Crystal Cruises are all quitting, but Holland America Line has promised to keep going.

Stein Kruse, their president and CEO, told me they will empty the fuel tanks of heavy fuel, clean them out and fill up with lighter fuel for the trip. "It'll be expensive but we will continue to go there."

In 2012, Azamara Club Cruises' Azamara Journey will make its Antarctica debut instead of Celebrity Cruises' Celebrity Infinity.

It means there is less capacity but only of the sightseeing variety - ships with more than 500 passengers are not allowed to make landings; they can only take them to look at the penguins and icebergs.

Which has always struck me as a waste of time and money.

The only way to do Antarctica is on a smaller vessel that can get close to icebergs, fit through the narrow channels and lower Zodiacs so you can go ashore and walk among the penguins.

And there are still plenty of them including Silversea's Prince Albert II, Compagnie du Ponant's Le Boreal, being joined by sister ship L'Austral next winter, Hapag-Lloyd's Hanseatic and Bremen, Lindblad's National Geographic Explorer and Hurtigruten's Fram.

Aretha Franklin, Janet Jackson and Neil Diamond are joining Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Epic from January 22.

OK, not the real Mccoy. But they are the next three stars that singers from Legends in Concert will be impersonating during shows in the theatre and the Manhattan Room.

Legends in Concert pioneered live celebrity shows and is now in 11 cities in the US including Las Vegas, Atlantic City and Seattle, as well as having performers on Epic.

The new trio replaces Rod Stewart, Britney Spears and Michael Jackson, who have finished their four-month stint at sea.

Norwegian Epic is cruising in the Caribbean now, but will be based in Barcelona from May, sailing seven-night cruises around the Mediterranean.

"We'll soon have had the whole Jackson 5 on Epic," quipped Andy Stuart, NCL's executive v-p in charge of global sales and passenger service, as he released the news last evening.

"You can tell he's from the UK," retorted Kevin Sheehan, president and CEO, who was on a webinar to talk about his stint as undercover boss (see below) on Epic. "Janet Jackson was never in the Jackson 5."

(Not quite sure how being from the UK and not knowing who was in the Jackson 5 are related subjects but still ... - Ed)

Stuart: "Ah well, I'm too young for all that stuff."

I love it that NCL's management have fun running the cruise line as well as promoting it on their ships.

A record six cruise ships were in Southampton yesterday, disembarking one set of passengers and taking on another lot before heading off on marathon round-the-world or round-South America cruises.

The Southampton six comprised Fred Olsen's Balmoral and Black Watch, Cunard's Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria, P&O Cruises' Arcadia and Saga Cruises' Saga Ruby.

Between them, they brought 18,000 passengers through the port and each contributed £1.5 million to the local economy.

The good start to 2011 is going to continue, according to Doug Morrison, Southampton's port director. More than 350 cruise ships have booked calls so far for 2011. That's 50 more than last year.

Good thing they announced plans last month for a fifth cruise ship terminal, although even if all goes to plan that won't be ready until 2013.

The new port of Falmouth in Jamaica is not having such a good time. It was due to welcome its first cruise ship - Royal Caribbean's Navigator of the Seas -  tomorrow, but the on-off opening is off again.

The maiden call has been put back to February 17, due to on-going construction work on the eastern part of the site.

That's after maiden calls last November were called off because the port was not ready.

William Tatham, v-p cruise operations for the Jamaica Port Authority, said it is now ready take ships and tour operations are set to go, but "the guest experience is not where we want it to be".

Freedom of the Seas will now be the first ship to call at the new port, a joint venture between Jamaica Port Authority and Royal Caribbean Cruises, which has been designed to take Royal's giant Oasis-class ships.

They are scheduled to make their maiden calls at Falmouth in mid-March.

Where would you most like to cruise this year and who would you most like to travel with?

That's what Princess Cruises asked their Facebook fans. The answers? Seems Alaska is ther in-place to go this year. And most said they'd actually like to go with their spouses or partners, but if they had to choose a celeb, it would be Oprah.

She got 19% of the vote, way more than Michelle Obama's 6%, but America's official first lady still outperformed princess-in-waiting Kate Middleton in the popularity stakes. She got just 3% of the vote.

Alaska was also a popular choice for shore excursions, with 17% wanting to go dog mushing on a glacier in the 49th state. That was level pegging with the number who wanted to visit the lost city of Machu Picchu in Peru.

Strange what people want to do. Some 14% said they'd like to climb the cliffs in Santorini in Greece, but just 7% said they wanted to visit Petra in Jordan and only 6% wanted to go to Vietnam.

I've been to all three and can honestly say Petra and Vietnam are seriously amazing, while Santorini, while pretty, is just another Greek Island.

Princess is currently running a bucket list blog revealing employees' top 50 travel experiences.

In the latest, Rob Roberts, shorex manager, tells of his first visit to the Mediterranean as he made sure everything was in place ahead of the 1998 launch of the 2,600-passenger Grand Princess, which was then the largest cruise ship in the world.

If you're casting around for a cruise, this really is a happy new year, with deals galore to suit all pockets and all tastes.

Royal Caribbean International (0844 493 3005) has launched its "What you see is that you get" campaign, with prices from £699 per person. That's for seven-night cruises from Palma on Grandeur of the Seas and from Malaga on Adventure of the Seas for an inside cabin with flights and transfers included.

As the ad says "Why Not?"

Well only because there are so many other great offers to pick from.

Iglu Cruise (020 8544 6447) has a seven-night transatlantic cruise on Queen Mary 2, sailing from Southampton to New York, from an iincredible £679 per person for an inside cabin - and that includes the flight back from the Big Apple. You can upgrade to an outside cabin from £99 and a balcony room from £199 per person.

Iglue tells me they are booking up fast. There's a surprise!

Celebrity Cruises (0845 456 0523) has a 14-night no-fly Italian Mediterranean voyage on Celebrity Eclipse from Southampton on May 7 from £1,416 per person. Not quite such a bargain, but at least they throw in $100 onboard credit and free car parking at Southampton. You'll need to book by February 28.

Orion Expedition Cruises (020 7434 0089) is celebrating Australia Day on January 26 by offering free return flights for selected cruises on Orion and new ship Orion II between now and the end of February. They include:

* Three nine-night Vietnam Explorer voyages in November and December priced from £4,295 per person.

* Two seven-night, one from Bangkok to Ho Chi Minh City, the other in reverse, in October and December from £3,340 per person.

* Two 10-night cruises in the Kimberley, Australia, one sailing from Broome to Darwin, the other in reverse, in August and September, from £5,325 per person. The price also includes a free two-night stay in Darwin or Broome at the start or end of each cruise.

The papers were full of news that Kenny Dalglish was appointed manager of Liverpool Football Club at the weekend.

What they neglected to mention was that the appointment was confirmed when Kenny was celebrity guest speaker on Silversea's ship, Silver Wind.

He was on a seven-night cruise round-trip from Dubai, entertaining the ship's 290 passengers with stories of his career when hasty plans had to be made for him to fly home early from Bahrain.

Given his team went on to lose 1-0 to Man U on Sunday, I wonder why he bothered. Bet he does too!

With two big-for-Oceania new-builds launching in the next 15 months, Oceania Cruises has clearly decided it can manage without one of its smaller ones.

From April 2012, it is chartering its 684-passenger Insignia to TUI-owned German cruise line Hapag-Lloyd, to sail as Columbus 2.

It's part of a major expansion at Hapag-Lloyd, which is also adding a new-build luxury ship, Europe 2, to the fleet from 2013.

It's a complicated set up, but essentially Hapag-Lloyd has designed the ship and persuaded an unnamed company to build it at the STX Europe shipyard in St Nazaire, France. Hapag-Lloyd will then charter the vessel, which will hold 516 passengers, for a minimum of 12 years.

Construction begins in September 2011 and will take 18 months.

Hapag-Lloyd said the new build will offer a more casual luxury experience than the 408-passenger Europa, which it operates alongside two exploration ships, Bremen and Hanseatic. The cruise line also already has a premium ship called Columbus, which holds 420 passengers.

Hapag-Lloyd is a German cruise line, but they operate several "international" cruises a year, when all literature - menus, daily programmes - and lectures are guaranteed to be in English, and there are separate shore excursions for English speakers.

Oceania currently has three sister ships, Insignia, Regatta and Nautica, which each hold 684 passengers. However, their new 1,258-passenger Marina sets off on its maiden cruise, a transatlantic from Barcelona to Miami, on January 22, and sister ship, Riviera, is due to debut in April 2012.

P&O Cruises is to show plays on Adonia when the ship joins their fleet in May, moving across from sister line Princess Cruises, where it sails as Royal Princess.

I'm told P&O will probably stage three plays, but only one has been decided - Art, which opened in London's West End in 1996.

It's a strange story, set in Paris. In a nutshell: Modern art lover Serge buys a painting which is nothing but a white canvas with some white lines on it. His friend of 15 years, Marc, calls it s*** and so begins a debate about what is art, what is friendship. Meantime you've got other friend Yvan adding fuel to the flames.

I've not seen it but it's supposed be clever and funny. It's also very easy to do on a ship, especially one with quite a small theatre, as it's all conversation between the characters or monologues to the audience.

Bringing West End plays to the high seas follows a growing trend among cruise lines to get away from the traditional song, dance and acrobatics stuff they usually put on in the theatre.

Royal Caribbean International has performances of Chicago on Allure of the Seas and Hairspray on Oasis of the Seas. When it comes to Europe this summer, Liberty of the Seas will be staging Saturday Night Fever.

Norwegian Cruise Line has the Blue Man Group in the theatre on Norwegian Epic, alternating with tribute singers from Legends in Concert.

I reckon P&O should also show the ever-popular Mousetrap (also easy as it only has one set) but I doubt they'd get the license given it's still going in the West End. Can you believe, it's in its 59th year!

Or how about a one-act play called Titanic that was staged in New York in the 1970s, all about three people (mum, dad and their son)  sitting down for dinner on the ill-fated ship. As they ponder why they haven't been seated at the captain's table all kinds of skeletons emerge from the woodwork. Kind of appropriate, don't you think?

What play would you like to see on Adonia? Post your suggestions below.

Portsmouth Port is getting so many cruise ships this year, it has changed its name.

Instead of sailing from the Continental Ferry Port, you'll now cruise from Portsmouth International Port.

Sounds a lot swankier, doesn't it?

They're building a new terminal and dredging the water outside the port to allow larger ships to come and go at different stages of tide.

Forty cruise ships will be calling at the port, up from 11 in 2010, including Swan Hellenic, owned by All Leisure Group, which is quitting Dover and making Portsmouth its new homeport for summer no-fly cruises.

Swan has four cruises from Portsmouth, sister company Voyages of Discovery has five departures (the rest of its no-fly programme is from Harwich) and even tiny Hebridean Princess, also owned by All Leisure Group, will be calling in as part of its debut round-Britain adventure starting in August.

French cruise line Compagnie du Ponant is using Portsmouth as its base for seven debut no-fly cruises this summer.

There are five seven-night cruises that journey up the west coast of the UK and over to St Malo in France, and two 12 nighters that goes all the way around Britain.

Others include Hurtigruten, which will be visiting with Fram when it repositions from Antarctica to the Arctic.

Last year, Lord Sterling, chairman of All Leisure Group, moaned that Swan passengers would have to mix with smelly lorry drivers in the new Portsmouth terminal.

Maybe the new name will make them clean up their act!

P&O Cruises is offering more shorter sectors on its 72-night Grand Alaska Voyage from Southampton on Arcadia on April 12, which is great is you fancy joining this historical cruise - it's P&O's first no-fly voyage to Alaska for 40 years - but don't have time for the entire round-trip.

You've always had the option to cut the cruise in half, sailing 44 nights from Southampton to Los Angeles or 45 nights from Los Angeles to Southampton.

Now there are seven more cruise options:

* 41 nights from Southampton to Vancouver from April 12-May 23, from £3,999pp.

* 34 nights from Southampton to Whittier from April 12-May 16, from £3,499pp.

* 29 nights from Barbados to Vancouver from April 24- May 23, from £3,399pp.

* 18 nights from San Francisco to Los Angeles from May 7-May 26, from £2,499pp.

* 16 nights from Vancouver to Port Everglades from May 23-June 8, from £1,949pp.

* 14 nights from Barbados to San Francisco from April 24- May 7, from £1,499pp.

* 12 nights from Southampton to Barbados from April 12- April 24, from £1,099pp.

Of course there is still room if you want to do the whole voyage, which spends nine days in Alaska, calling at Ketchikan, Juneau, Whittier, Skagway and Sitka, and cruising in Yakutat Bay, College Fjord and to the Tracy Arm glacier.

Here's a cruise to die for.  

Fred Olsen Cruise Lines (01473 742424) has devised a crime-themed cruise on Balmoral in April to celebrate Agatha Christie's 120th birthday. 

There'll be free talks and lectures about the Queen of Crime by her grandson, Mathew Prichard, and author John Curran - a lifelong fan who is often on TV and radio talking about Ms Christie.

There will also be live performances of some of Agatha Christie's rarely-heard 30-minute radio plays, featuring actors and selected members of the audience.

Wonder if they'll be asking for murder volunteers. 

The 10-night cruise, to Iberia and Morocco, visiting La Coruna in Spain, Casablanca in Morocco, Gibraltar, and Portimao and Lisbon in Portugal, departs Southampton on April 23 and costs from £899 per person.

Excuse me while I fetch the homburg and polish up the little grey cells.

MSC Cruises isn't actually giving away free holidays, but it's not far off.

Book one of their Mediterranean cruises in February and you'll get free flights, free transfers, £50 onboard credit and free cabin upgrades.

On Lirica-class ships, you'll be upgraded from an inside to an outside cabin or an outside to a balcony cabin.

On seven-night Fantasia and Musica-class ships you'll be upgraded from an outside to a balcony cabin; on eight-night cruises on a Musica-class vessel, you'll leap-frog from an inside to a balcony cabin.

The offer means you can pick up a seven-night cruise from Venice on MSC Magnifica, their newest ship, next November from £599 per person, with flights, transfers, on-board credit and an upgrade all included.
 
Bookings must be made between February 1 and 28 for two people sharing a cabin. It excludes MSC Yacht Club passengers.

Louis Cruises, the Cypriot-owned low-cost cruise line, has also cut prices. Book by February 18 and you can pick up a seven-night Greece and Turkey cruise from  Piraeus, the port for Athens, on the Louis Cristal from £446 per person.

Not quite such a bargain as MSC as it excludes flights and transfers but Louis says you'll be saving more than £70, so there's something to put towards the extra expenses.

I suspect Fred Olsen is regretting starting to charge their fuel supplement as a percentage of the price people pay for their cruise, penalising the high-spending suite folk they want to attract.

A press release late yesterday sought to "clarify" their position on the fuel supplement.

I would classify it as an attempt again to blame outside forces for the decision.

As we know, from January 19 they are charging 5.5% on top of what you pay for your cruise to cover the rising cost of fuel.

The exception is Black Watch's 2012 world cruise and Balmoral's 2012 long cruise around South America. If you book these, either the full cruises or one of the sectors, you won't pay any fuel supplement.

No I don't know why they are exempt either, but strikes me there could be rush for those cruises.

But they are also imposing a 4.5% retro-charge on bookings taken before December 23 2010 for departures from April 1 2011. So booking early, as I advised before, wouldn't have worked.

The words "shooting yourself in the foot" spring to mind.

Fred blames the switch away from the per person per night supplement to charging a surcharge as a percentage of the fare on the EU Package Travel Directive and ABTA requirements. It says that's what they require.

Maybe so. That doesn't make it any less unfair. And guess what? No one else is doing it. All the other cruise lines that are charging fuel supplements are sticking with the per person per night formula.

The only hope Fred passengers can have is that the price of Brent crude falls back to £45 a barrel, in which case they'll get the fuel supplement back in the form of on-board credit.

I wouldn't advise they hold their breath.

SeaDream Yacht Club, celebrating its 10th birthday this year, will be visiting the UK for the first time next year either side of a second Baltic season.

The small-ship brand is venturing north for the first time this summer, and will be popping into London at the end of its transatlantic crossing in May so journalists and travel agents can have a look-see, but in 2012 it's the real McCoy.

They are using Dover as a turnaround port for two departures - a 13-night cruise to Stockholm on May 12 and an 11-night voyage to Lisbon on August 14.

Cruising to Dover, there's a 14-night transatlantic voyage departing San Juan on April 28 2012 and an eight-night cruise from Copenhagen on July 16, which costs from $6,887 (£4,370) per person.

I make that an eye-watering £546 a day - and you have to pay for the flight to Copenhagen as well.

Time to start saving!