Day one in Zimbabwe and we're off to a predictably surreal start.
You'll be pleased to hear TW takes a starring role in a press conference, seated next to Zimbabwe Tourism Authority CEO Karikoga Kaseke.
Members of the local media document the proceedings, and we're treated to some legendary rhetoric, worthy of Bob Mugabe himself (I'll save that for the report), before ending with a slightly dubious photo opportunity.
Sensing a Jack Straw moment I manage to extricate myself from a handshake. Good thing too.
The next day I'm mildly surprised to find myself on the front page of the Zimbabwe Herald.
The pro-government rag describes our group (two journalists from the Baltic states, plus another British writer) as "influential media personalities from Europe." I'm named as Mathew Hampton "who declined to say which organisation he works for".
The nerve! I clearly stated the name of my erstwhile employer at the start of the conference. Worse though is the spelling - note to Herald subs: two ts in Matthew please.
Our media stardom doesn't end there. For much of our visit we've been shadowed by a friendly crew from state broadcaster ZBC.
During a short interview I try to sound as serious as possible, earnestly stating the people of Zimbabwe must be free to do what they want.
Christ, why not add "at any old time"? The plight of millions reduced to a Rolling Stones song.
Not a great week for serious journalism on any count.
by Matthew Hampton
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