Park Plaza County Hall in London has revealed the funniest moments from its first six months of business.
Not surprisingly, American guests have provided the best clangers. One bright spark asked, how do I turn the lights on in this country? And another wanted to know why they built Windsor Castle in the Heathrow flight path.
Guests wondering round the hotel minus their clothes have also been a common sighting.
"A high percentage of our guests seem to sleep in the nude," says general manager Philip Chambers. "It's only once they realise they're locked out, they sheepishly make their way to the lobby with vases, newspapers or room service trays covering them."
If this has filled you with an uncontrollable urge to book a room, see here.
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"And another wanted to know why they built Windsor Castle in the Heathrow flight path."
I heard that one about 10 years ago so I doubt Park Plaza are strictly telling the truth.
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I stayed in the Crown and Mitre in Carlisle on business a few years ago and I thought I heard someone at the door and in my naked state opened it, looked round, no-one there. I thought "that's weird", so I walked to the end of the corridor, only to encounter the painful sight of my door slamming shut.
I then had to take the walk of shame downstairs cupping myself to ask for a spare key from the smirking chambermaid.
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Sadly Kyle's experience is not an isolated one. Only last night while attending the SPAA's legendary awards night, I woke up and discovered I had sleep-walked to the lift. Butt naked.
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Fortunately a very obliging couple who came out the lift shortly afterwards very kindly rang reception for me.
When they came to let me in, they did comment that this "happens a lot".
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